Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Casting Shadows


"I wish that even my shadow might do good." Blessed Alfonso Marie Fusco                                                            
   This quote I found on a friend's profile page speaks to me of someone who deeply desires holiness and actively seeks God’s will. Of course if we consider the implications on a literal level it is only when we are doing good that our shadow will also be doing good.
     I like the richer meaning implied. If we are so steeped in

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Angels Among Us

     Do you believe there are angels among us? I do. Years ago, I read a very moving book of true stories about angels coming to the aid of every day people. Where Angels Walk by Joan Wester Anderson changed my view of heavenly hosts.
     Before that, I had mainly thought angels were only sent in very important situations, such as to tell Mary she had God’s favor and ask the Blessed Virgin if she would be the mother of God. I hadn’t spent much time thinking about angels among us in more ordinary situations.

Monday, September 28, 2009

A Theology of Marriage

Reading Man and Woman He Created Them: A Theology of the Body by Pope John Paul II ought to be required for every Christian couple that's married or will be soon.  It has changed the way I see so many aspects of the Catholic faith, but it’s really begun to transform the way I look at the vocations of marriage and religious life.
    
I’m sure I’m not grasping the richness and fullness of the text just by reading it by myself, without a study group or one of the many books of commentary and explanation of these series of talks, but the ways in which this manuscript has already expanded my view of God’s purpose for each one of His children has amazed me.
    
As is often the case with me, I am struck with how far I fall short of what I am meant to be as a woman and wife. The awesome responsibility of this vocation, the love, and selflessness God intends for us to show through it are beyond comprehension and definitely much more than I have ever done or been for Kevin.
    
I feel bad that I have not lived up to these awe-inspiring expectations and purpose God has for me at the same time that I’m amazed at the love and trust implicated by God’s plan for the sort of relationship, submissiveness, and dedication my husband and I are called to have to one another.
    
A few months ago, I was praying and asked God to show me how He sees me. What came to my mind was me lying facedown prostrate before a gold tabernacle in a well-lit chapel. This image gave me hope, because it let me know that my devotion to God and desire to lay down my life for Him is what’s in the deepest recesses of my heart, despite all of the mistakes I make.
   
Recently, it occurred to me that just as my vocation to serve God first and put Him before all else has been clear to me and something I’ve strived to do (though, I’ve failed many times), the same must be true of my vocation to be Kevin’s wife. Intricately weaved into God’s will for me is His desire that I love and serve Kevin selflessly. Reading Man and Woman He Created Them: A Theology of the Body has opened my eyes and heart to see how deeply intertwined are my vocations to serve God above all else and to love Kevin above everyone and everything else in my life.
   
I used to see those two vocations as more separate than I do now, complimentary, but not woven together in such a way that neither one can be unraveled without the other coming apart.
    
I am at peace bowing down to God and wanting to give Him all that I was, am, and can be. Now I must embrace the call to love Kevin so profoundly that I am comfortable bowing down to God’s presence in the tabernacle of his soul.
    
Lord, thank you for a growing awareness of how You intend for marriage to be a glowing sign of Your love, forgiveness, selflessness, compassion, mercy, and peace. Please help Kevin, me, and all married couples to focus on You above all else, so that we might live out the vocation of marriage in ways that will glorify You. Amen.

Friday, September 25, 2009

The Power of Prayer

     One thing that gave my dad hope, especially on the days when he wasn’t feeling well enough and had little to no energy, is that he could still make a difference in people’s lives by praying for them.
     I think it’s only now that he’s left this earth that he’s finally seeing the power of prayer. It was very difficult and at times discouraging for my dad when his illness kept him from the active life he used to lead.
     He missed being able to go to Mass with the family, take Communion to the sick, and volunteer with the Special Olympics once his condition worsened. It encouraged him immensely that he could offer prayer coverage for family, friends, and the world from the comfort of his favorite recliner. Long after his years of being able to play sports, do rigorous work-outs and weight-lifting, he was training as a warrior, a prayer warrior that is.
     So often we don’t know how or if our prayers are making a difference. Sometimes, especially when in a period of spiritual dryness when it’s hard to see or feel God’s presence, we can begin to wonder if God’s really listening. And if He’s listening, why isn’t He answering us right away?
     In August, my aunt Carol reminded me of a book I read years ago called A Lamp unto My Feet by Elisabeth Elliot. In this book of very powerful meditations and reflections, she talks about how prayer works, trusting in God, and discerning His will among many other things.
     She begins the book by talking about something used a long time ago that was literally a little light that you’d attach to your toe. It would allow you to see only that which was directly in front of you. Many times this is how God leads us. He may put a desire in our heart to reach a certain destination, but we are only given enough light to take the next step of the journey, as it says in the “Our Father,” we ask for and are supplied with just enough bread for one day.
     If we do our best to remain on the right path and accept the light He offers, then we’re doing His will. He knows we’ll stumble sometimes or decide to back along a path He’s already let us know won’t lead us to Him, but through His mercy, He will always lead us back to the path He knows is best for us, if we let Him.
     Another section in A Lamp unto My Feet that has stuck with me ever since is one that my mom has reminded me of during difficult times: as soon as we say a prayer, it reaches God and the answer to it comes out from His throne room. We may not know the answer right away. It may even take years to reach us because God’s perfect timing isn’t often ours, but it’s reassuring the minute we pray or even when we’re too weak to pray and the Holy Spirit must intercede for us, then an answer is sent out. Our questions aren’t ignored. Sometimes the lag time in getting the answer is time He uses to prepare us in the ways He knows we need for the answer He plans to give. Again, back to one of the reminders I often return to from a Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir song: “though we often don’t know just how, God is working even now.”
     Last spring, when my mom led the 40 Days for Life campaign in Richmond, VA, my dad and grandma joined their prayers from home with those of ours who were able to take part in the peaceful, prayerful vigil at the abortion clinic.
     My dad made hundreds of phone calls inviting people to be involved in the prayer vigil. He spent hours praying from home and talked with his friends about the true colors of Planned Parenthood, the abortion mills of America. Since he didn’t have a computer or e-mail, I would call and tell him about the children saved, the abortion center workers who quit, the healing that took place, and numerous people who got involved.
     God has given us a powerful gift, the ability to pray. We can do this anywhere for anyone, regardless of our physical condition, income, education, class in society, and we will be heard by our Lord.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Mercy Minutes with Jesus by Rev. George W. Kosicki, CSB

Reading this book, I was reminded of how close to Jesus we can be if we are willing to submit completely to God’s plan for our lives. He wants so much to give us His mercy. Oftentimes, we have to be brought to an acute awareness of our sinfulness and that of the world in order to yearn for Divine Mercy.
    
Whether you are feeling close to God at this point in your spiritual journey or you’re presently having trouble seeing the Lord at work in your life, these conversations between Jesus and St. Faustina will show how the Holy Spirit is able to work in and through us inasmuch as we accept the faith and courage He supplies to accept suffering and unite it with Christ’s on the cross.
    
Through short excerpts from the very rich Diary of St. Maria Faustina Kowalski and brief original prayers written by Fr. George W. Kosicki, CSB, the reader is guided through a year-long journey of discovery and meditation on the gift of God’s Divine Mercy.
    
By focusing primarily on one thought or idea each day expressed through the words Jesus spoke to St. Faustina, the depth and breadth of Christ’s mercy becomes increasingly apparent in a variety of situations both internal and external with which many will be able to relate.
    
The density of wisdom and love expressed in the Diary becomes easier to study and contemplate when broken down in this way so that each golden nugget can be examined individually, assessed for its true value, and put safely into the treasure chest of our souls.
    
Because of the descriptions at the beginning of each section, Mercy Minutes with Jesus is a good introduction to Divine Mercy and the life and legacy of St. Faustina. This book would also serve as a wonderful supplement to someone who has read the Diary and wants to remember the message of mercy St. Faustina offers throughout the year. The thematic index at the back of the book also makes it an easy-to-use reference.
    
This review was written as part of the Catholic book Reviewer program from The Catholic Company. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on Mercy Minutes with Jesus.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Are we there, yet?!

     
Yes and no. Here and there. Now and then. In the meantime, the in between time, God wants me to go one way, but I can decide to go mine.
     
At times, I would like more than anything else to arrive at an intersection on my spiritual journey where there awaits a crystal clear answer from God. Normally when I’ve gotten to the point when I’m ready to do whatever it is He asks of me, except wait longer for an answer, that’s what He asks of me. I can understand and empathize with whoever first came up with the prayer: “God, give me patience, and give it to me right now!”
     
One humorous incident I thought of today when faith formation classes (formerly known as religious ed. or CCD) started back up happened four years ago when I heard the announcement at church that they still needed Catechists to teach middle school religious ed. classes.
    
That evening when Kevin and I were at my mom’s house for dinner, I told him, “I think God might be calling me to teach eighth grade religious ed.” Kevin’s immediate response was, “Can you ask Him, again?!” Though, before long Kevin agreed to be my assistant teacher for an eighth grade class.
    
For a number of reasons, I despise being kept in the dark about things, lied to, or told “you’ll find out soon enough.” Yes, I know it means that I’m not doing a very good job trusting other people or God when I get impatient. I know what it feels like when you just want the flipping answers!
   
Having “a sense of urgency” as my dad would call it, has helped me in some situations and hindered me in others. I am often good about scheduling things, being on time or early, getting the job finished and then some, but I do tend to run thin on trust, faith, and patience if my focus on the deadline or finish line keeps me from seeing other important aspects of the assignment or the race.
    
A number of my friends have shared with me that they are currently deep in the throes of discerning what God wants for them. In addition to praying for them often, I have tried to offer other forms of support and encouragement, because I know how difficult it can be to “live the questions” as Henri Nouwen calls it.
    
I remember the periods from years ago and some quite recently when I will have a question weighing on me. Some of the past questions have been pretty major, such as: where should I go to college? Is God calling me to join a convent or marry the man I’ve already fallen in love with once I graduate? Should I get the type of job other people say I should or do what I love even if it’s not very prestigious or high-paying?
   
 I’ve been thinking a lot about the vocations we’re called to, the challenges of discerning God’s will, and waiting faithfully for clear answers. I understand how hard it is when God and other people tell you to wait for something you want more than anything else. It seems even more difficult when we can look back and see God seems to have been leading us in the direction we most want to go.
    
If the only clear desire we have is to do God’s will, especially when it is contrary to our own, then we’re probably on the right path. He’s put the desire to do His will in us. That doesn’t mean He won’t test it.
    
Though it tore me apart ten years ago, I can now see how important it was that I felt called to religious life after falling in love with Kevin and wanting to marry him. I knew by how I responded to God, by saying I’ll do whatever You ask of me, that when it came right down to it I wouldn’t choose to put another person or my own will above God’s, not for the long-term anyway. I knew I’d struggle sometimes more than others to keep God at the center, but in my heart of heart’s that I would serve Him first. That’s what I really needed to know. I loved Kevin and wanted to get married, but I was very clear that I didn’t want my relationship with Kevin to be the center of my life. Even then I wanted my relationship with God to be at the center.
    
My faith is so much a part of who I am that my vocation to loving and serving God, which I still see as being my first and most important calling, is intricately tied to my second vocation of marriage. Though it tormented me at the time, I needed to know that if God called me, I’d say yes. The trial of discernment showed me I could love Kevin and want to be married, yet that I wouldn’t let that desire come before my desire to serve God.
    
God has a habit of testing the people He loves and wants to give great responsibility. As He did with Abraham, sometimes He grants us the desire of our heart. After a very long wait, Abraham and Sarah have a son. God fulfilled that longing within them, then asks Abraham to sacrifice Isaac to see if His devotion and love for God would trump even the love for his long-awaited son. It did, and in the end, Abraham was assured of His deepest devotion to God, and his beloved son was also spared.
     
Lately, I’ve spent a lot of time considering two questions I posed to a friend: what in your life is God asking you to sacrifice on the altar in order to show that He comes before all else? What relationships, events past or present, activities, attitudes…is God asking you to sacrifice on the altar?
    
Sometimes we are faced with doubts from within at the same time as we are questioned externally about our decisions. When we are hurt and discouraged by what others say about our preparedness or the timing of something, it can be part of the discernment process to pick through our own thoughts and feelings, the opinions of others, then take all of those things to place at God’s feet.
    
At 17, I was closer to my mom than anyone else, and it was hardest for me to go against what she felt so strongly about, but I couldn’t honestly believe that having a close friendship with Kevin wasn’t what was best for me then. There will probably be some people you really trust and care about who out of their love and concern for you may try to suggest another path or different timing from what you want. I still come up against that with my family, friends, and Kevin.
    
It’s up to us to spend time with God and look inside to discern what is true in the depths of our souls. When we look inside and are completely honest, what do we see that God has placed on our hearts? Are we ready to say, “God, show me how You see me serving You in the future” and be completely open to the answer. Ask the tough questions. I’ve been surprised and deeply moved by the way God answers when we earnestly seek to know who we are in His eyes.
    
God’s thoughts about who we are and the ways we can best serve Him are what we need to focus on. We have to leave the other stuff at His feet. Take the setbacks and heartache, the affirmations and compliments, and put all of it before the Lord. Once we’ve set that burden down, it will be easier for Him to give us the message that we are His beloved children, that the love and devotion to Him in our hearts glorifies Him, and when the time is right, He will make the answer clear, or perhaps give us the courage to accept that He’s already given us the answer, now it’s up to us to live it out.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Has it really been 10 years since...?


I’m having a hard time believing that it’s true. Not just some, but most of it seems to have occurred in another life. Yet, the date on this invitation means, it’s been ten years since…   

I moved into Sandusky, the community service house, my first year at Hollins University. My two closest friends in the house became Venita Gresham and Natarsha Sanders. Back then we actually had a class or two together, before we spread out into our different majors and new homes on campus. I’m having a hard time believing that ten years have passed since we’d dance to Black Street’s “No Diggity” in Natarsha’s room, would see Venita making her soup bowl sized cups of hot chocolate, and laugh at the antics of some of our more unruly housemates. At just about any time of the day, Christina Aguilera’s “Genie in a Bottle” or Lou Bega’s “Mambo Number Five” could be heard coming out of someone’s sound system.
    
I wrote the following portrait of Venita a while back. I still treasure the many memories we’ve shared over the years. This weekend, I’m going to the wedding reception of this dear friend I made my first year in college. It’s amazing how much has happened since we first met. We’ve both earned the right to add new letters to our résumés, such as, B.A., B.S., M.A.L.S., and she’ll soon be adding Phd. Both of us have gotten our Mrs. though we were very clear that’s not why we were in college to begin with. (I’d already been dating Kevin for a year, and Shawn was yet to show up on the scene).
   
 Some things haven’t changed, though. We both still love God, enjoy laughing, and are grateful for the many blessings in our lives. I can’t wait to see Venita and meet her husband tomorrow!

A Former Roommate, a Future Doctor, a Forever Friend

A chicken breast, half of a pencil, a piece of red string, a CD, and a book were in her coat pockets when she got in my car. Usually on Hollins campus, she was in baggy pajama pants, a sweatshirt, and a white lab coat with pockets for her pencils, stop cock grease, and beaker stoppers. She wore the Dr. to be name tag her father had made for her in anticipation of her receiving a doctorate in pharmaceuticals.
    
Working with dangerous chemicals which could make her long, elegant fingers go from ashy to nonexistent still gives her a thrill. When asked what she was doing during her January term, she told people, “I’m reproducing.” Eventually she explained that she was conducting an experiment over and over to make sure she got the same results each time.
    
She received the regional award for undergraduate research in Chemistry, but she didn’t tell her friend, also a Chemistry major, because she didn’t want her to feel bad. “My professor told me I was perfect today…but only after I coaxed him a little bit,” she reported after turning in a major project. Columbia, Duke, UNC, and others were willing to pay thousands of dollars for her brain to do research in their graduate Chemistry labs.
    
Little did they know her classroom demeanor showed a need for action. If she got bored and began to doze, she started fidgeting rapidly, walked around the classroom while the professor lectured. Sometimes she went up and sat on the professor’s desk so she could stare at her face and the equations she wrote on the board.
    
Like some other science geniuses, she had the ability to fall asleep anywhere at any time. One afternoon we were having a conversation, then not three minutes later she dozed off in the middle of a Calculus problem with her hands still holding the graphing calculator up to her face. More than once, she walked into our room, leaned over her bed standing up and fell asleep just like that.
    
In the middle of Bible study, her loud hiccups echoed through the room causing some to stare and those of us who know her to laugh. Over the years we’ve had many conversations about being the oldest children in our families, worrying about younger siblings, wondering what God wants us to do, talking about how our moms are taking on too much. We’ve discussed the different ways our families are crazy and how we love them anyway.
    
Her parents fully intended to keep her from becoming one of the flighty, hoity-toity pearl girls on campus. They even went so far as to threaten her that they’d come into town like a bunch of hillbillies, blacken their teeth, wear overalls, and have a pig roast on front quad if she started to become the least bit uppity and forget her roots. This gave her a great laugh, in part because it was easy to picture her family doing such a thing, and also because she wasn’t in the least bit of danger of becoming snooty. Stuck-up and superior isn’t her personality.
    
She liked the Gospel choir CDs I played, but this beautiful black Baptist from the country doesn’t have a beautiful singing voice or the rhythm to dance well. She told me: “I want to be more creative, because I’ve had a painting in my mind for years but haven’t got the skill to put it on canvas.
    
Her collection of Mr. Potato Head and company best illustrated her sense of playfulness. She took their accessories and interactions somewhat seriously. In her day-to-day life, she didn’t try to control others, but she loved the god-like power she had when playing with toys, Play-doh, finger paints, or her Sim City computer games. I was always uneasy when she walked around with scissors, and the thought of her fencing better than anyone else on her team amazed me. I wouldn’t let her practice in the room for fear she or I would have an accidental loss of limb. We agreed on many topics, such as reasonable forms of exercise. Her philosophy about running was pretty cut and dry: it should only be done if someone is chasing you.
    
She spoke aloud the trivial things people think but don’t say. At meals she came out with personal updates such as “I’m having pain inside my teeth,” or “I’m experiencing eyelash sensitivity.” When eating dinner together, she insisted on us both getting stacks of napkins. “I am a firm believer that food must hit the table, your elbow, and anything else that might look good,” she said after both of us had dropped some food.
    
I laughed quite a bit the day she told me: “I took my hand out of my pocket to wave to a friend and glitter flew everywhere. I have no idea how it got there."

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Lord, have mercy!

    
     There was a time in my life when I honestly believed that God’s judgment was greater than His mercy. I pictured God sitting on His throne wearing a dark robe and shaking His head each time I messed up. He would add one more mark to His long tally of things I’d thought, said, or done that went against His will.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Cop an Attitude…of Gratitude


     Why is it that I can easily call to mind my current concerns and prayer requests, but it often takes me a little longer to conjure up the abundance of blessings God’s given us in answer to past prayers?

Thursday, September 10, 2009

I Pledge Allegiance


     My experience of 9/11 will never be the same as those Americans on US soil had on that fateful day. Less than two weeks before it happened, Kevin had driven me up to JFK with my huge bags and kissed me goodbye as I set off to spend my junior year studying abroad in Paris, France. Kevin and I had seen the Twin Towers from a distance, of course, not knowing that the New York skyline would be altered forever in a matter of days.

Singin' in the Rain


    
     Besides being the title of one of my favorite musicals of all time, this is also something that God gives us the grace to do. Even in the tough times, we’re given reasons to smile, laugh, reach out to others, and perhaps even break out singing Broadway show tunes.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Riding the Waves of Grief Following the Loss of a Loved One

I wasn’t prepared for the first wave of grief powerful enough to knock me off my feet. The smaller ones I anticipated and handled well. Then the ten-foot white cap hit me, pulling me under, leaving me disoriented, with a salty taste in my mouth.
    
I’ve known what was coming for a while. I knew the waves of grief would come sooner or later. I actually began grieving about losing my dad November 2007 when his hospice nurses told us they’d be surprised if he made it to that New Year’s.
    
I couldn’t help but have the idea of him dying in my face when I was there with him for all of the initial meetings with his hospice team. Some days I felt the impending loss more than others. In the months to come, when he’d outlived everyone’s predictions, I was very aware of his serious condition but didn’t spend as much time thinking about his death, unless he had an emergency or wanted to talk with me about life after death.
    
I mourned ahead of time when I found out Nana, my dad’s mom, wasn’t going to make it. One night after coming home from visiting her in the ICU (my mom had to sneak me in since I was only eleven at the time), I was sure this hospital stay would be her final one. I cried really hard that night, knowing one of my favorite people in the world wasn’t going to be on earth much longer.
    
It was over a week, maybe two, later when my dad and uncles all walked in to Benedictine’s gym where I was cheerleading for a St. Mary’s basketball game. I knew my nana must have died, but I didn’t cry then. The tears had passed for a bit, but they returned from time to time in the months after that.
    
Since the wave hit yesterday, I’ve done my best to ride it out. I’ve experienced a deep sense of loss numerous times, and for whatever reason, I generally take things in stride, perhaps functioning in crisis mode for a bit, then the pain and sadness overtake me in the aftermath for a time. I get back on my feet, but I can sense from then on that a portion of my life and a part of me is gone with the person who’s absent.
    
Today I asked some of my friends who have lost loved ones what has helped them get through the grieving process. I got a myriad of answers, many I’ve already been using. Let the emotions come; don’t try and hold them in. Pray, write, talk with family or friends. Call if you need to. I did all of those things throughout the course of the day.
    
I also cranked some tunes and danced. I know my dad liked to work emotions out through physical activity when possible. In the car, I listened to a Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir CD and only played the songs with upbeat tempos.
    
I thanked God for the hug I received from one of the kids at school, knowing only He knows what that meant to me on a day like today was. I had ice cream with sprinkles on it before dinner.
    
I thought about how sharing some of the lessons I’ve learned from my dad might help some of my family members and friends in the future. I was completely honest with the spiritual divas in my prayer group about how I’ve been feeling and listened carefully to their words of wisdom, knowing I’m also benefiting from their prayers. I told my husband how grateful I am for him more than once.
    
I know more waves will come. Sometimes they’ll rise up unexpected and knock me down. Other days I’ll wade through them more gracefully, and eventually I’ll be able to walk on the beach, aware of the waves’ presence, but most of the time out of their reach.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Joe's Impromptu Barbecue


     My definition of family has expanded considerably over the past five years. A friend says her family isn’t defined by bloodlines, but by love-lines. The same is true for me.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

"With This Ring, I Thee..."

Most people would finish this with “wed,” but Kevin has never been like most people. When we were walking through the St. Michael Church parking lot on our way to Mass, Kevin reached over and grabbed my butt. “Honey!” I said. “We’re in a church parking lot!”     

“Nobody saw,” he assured me. “And remember, with this ring,” he said pointing to his gold wedding band, “I thee get to do stuff.”
   
I rolled my eyes, and we both laughed. Now all he has to do is show me his ring with a certain mischievous grin in his eye, and I chuckle.
   
I love that we still laugh and flirt often just like we have since we became a couple over ten years ago. Some of the hilarious moments we shared as boyfriend and girlfriend are still part of our lives.
   
For example, we don’t blow kisses to each other the same way most people do. Not since Kevin’s amusing attempt to blow me a kiss one evening years ago. He was visiting from Rochester and staying in my mom’s finished basement. I kissed him goodnight and was about to go upstairs to my room. I stopped at the door to wave and turn the light off.

It cracked me up when he tried to blow me a kiss. The send-off sound was more of a “FFFFFFFFFFFFf!” Of course, I called him on it, and we’ve used it ever since. We’ve both gotten some strange looks at times, when we’re on our cell phones and say, “love you, goodbye” followed by a kiss, and his signature “fffffff” send-off.
   
It’s hard to believe that five years ago on September 4, Kevin and I stood before God, our families, and friends at Church of the Epiphany and professed our love for one another and our commitment to spend the rest of our lives glorifying God as a married couple.
   
Our wedding was the last time my dad and all three of his brothers were together in one place. I’m glad the four of them spent those few days talking, hugging, laughing, dancing, and praying.
   
Kevin and I had a wonderful time, in part, because we could tell our family and friends were having as much fun as we were. Every person in the room was laughing when they saw my uncles doing the Macarena at our very casual rehearsal dinner fiesta.
   
At our wedding, we felt the love and blessings of our family and friends filling us up with joy and infusing us with pearls of hope. I’m sure the prayers said for us that day and since have helped us through the past five years when we experienced things getting worse before they got better, when we were far poorer than we thought we’d ever be, when we suffered through periods of sickness rather than health, and when anxiety and despair threatened to consume us.
   
It is truly the grace of God and the gift of faith given to each of us that have brought us to this point. When people tell me that it’s the eighth year of marriage, or the tenth, or the twenty-sixth that are really challenging, I have to wonder and do my best not to worry.
   
In the past five years, we’ve had quite a bit to deal with that has caused us stress and tested our relationship. We’ve had to deal with the things newlyweds usually face: moving into a new place together, starting new jobs, dividing up the chores, getting used to sharing everything and making decisions large and small as a team.
   
But we’ve also had a few more significant challenges thrown in. We’ve had to help each other through major illnesses, surgeries, and medical procedures which led to financial trauma. Kevin’s mother and his father died in the first two years we were married. My father James Lester Niermeyer entered hospice in November 2007 and passed away August 10, 2009. Last year my grandmother was admitted to hospice at age 84 after close to two months in the hospital, and we were told it would be a matter of days. Again, thank God those “practicing medicine” were way off on their prediction of the day and the hour she’d be on her way to Heaven. She’s now happily living at St. Joseph’s Little Sisters of the Poor. She’s made lots of new friends, is back to reading often, goes to daily Mass, and plays bridge as often as possible.
    
The last week leading up to our fourth anniversary we went to the funeral of my dad’s oldest brother, Bob Niermeyer, whose sudden death shocked us all. We wanted to be there to support the family and also represent my father who wasn’t well enough to travel. Now Kevin’s met most of my extended family, though, unfortunately, it was at my uncle Bob’s then my dad’s funerals under a year apart that brought us all together.
   
In five years, Kevin and I have experienced miracles and blessings too numerous to count. My mom has extended her love, compassion, forgiveness, and optimism to each member of our family, thereby continuing to be the strongest link. My dad and I became closer, and I had the privilege of helping to care for him and hold his hand as he passed from this life into the next. My dad and grandmother have exhibited such strength, courage, and faith in the face of illness, it absolutely amazes me. Kevin and I have seen firsthand the power of prayer through miraculous healing in mind, body, and spirit.
   
We were blessed we could attend the marriage of my sister Mary to Jordan and welcome him into our family. (He just recently completed his full initiation in the eyes of the Niermeyer clan by reaching new heights.)
   
We’ve gotten to see my youngest sister Theresa transform into a teenager and had the pleasure of watching her dance in several different performances.
   
We’ve had the joy of loving the boys for whom I was nannying , Hank and JG, as if they were part of our own family. I’ve had the privilege of spending time caring for little people and tutoring older children.
  
Kevin and I have made incredible friends through our involvement at church and with Cursillo. These friends who have loved us like family listen to and encourage us, lift us up in prayer, and give us hope. Members of our Cursillo family showed up with groceries, money, and even bought us a car (that I affectionately named Rosie Lou) during the months when a series of unfortunate events left us in financial peril.
   
We’ve experienced the joy of helping others by giving to church, volunteering, raising money and getting baby items for The Pregnancy Resource Center, taking part in 40 Days for Life vigils, donating my first car Lou to a friend in need, sponsoring a child in Honduras named Deysi through Child Fund International, regularly helping a homeless couple in our area, writing notes of encouragement, and lifting others up in prayer.
   
Of course we are grateful for having a decent place to live, food to eat, clean water to drink, clothes to wear, work to do, health care, skilled medical professionals, and we appreciate very much that God has supported the habit Kevin and I have had for years of LAUGHING TOGETHER (an acronym for the ingredients that make up our relationship).
   
These past five years, we’ve been living proof of the inscription on the inside of our wedding bands: Romans 8 which reminds us that “all things work for good for those who love God,” (Romans 8:28) and that “neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor present things, nor future things, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God.” Romans 8:38-39

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Back to School




     I can’t believe today’s our first day of school. I have no clue what I’m going to wear, if I’ll make new friends, or like all of my new teachers. I don’t have a backpack stuffed to the gills with a million different pens, pencils, markers, notebooks, binders, and various other items deemed necessary for the new school year.
     The nice thing about it is I’m not the least bit nervous. I plan to throw on something casual and comfortable, perfect for chasing kids on the playground, bending down to tie someone’s shoelaces, sitting on furniture made for toddlers to read someone a book, cleaning up the crumbs on the floor…
     I always make friends with the children and find it easy to get along with others who care about kids as much as I do. I’m sure some of my teachers, the majority of whom are under the age of five, will challenge me some days more than others, but I’ll like all of them nonetheless. I learn things from each of them, many times without them realizing they’re teaching me lessons I’ll take with me and apply long after school’s dismissed.
     Sometimes children can be such wonderful spiritual directors. On more than one occasion, I’ve found the simple truths they say out loud hold as much wonder and reverence as some of the most sacred prayers ever written.
     They express honesty without the shut-up filter formed later in life; they say exactly what they’re thinking and feeling. This type of openness can be so endearing…except, of course, when what is going through their very self-focused brains is: “I had that soccer ball first, and if you don’t give it back I’m going to whack you up side the head when the teacher isn’t looking.”
     I’m actually kind of excited to find out how the kids I haven’t seen since June have grown and changed over the summer. It’s always interesting to observe the dynamics of the group begin to form. Our classrooms are decorated beautifully and set-up for maximum allowable Montessori Enrichment fun and exploration. It’s going to be a good school year.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...