Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Go Ask Your Father

     In rereading the stories about Christ’s birth and the years leading up to his public ministry, I’ve often found it much easier to imagine Mary’s role than Joseph’s. For that reason and because of my natural inclination after losing my father this year to continue thinking about the role of a father, I selected Go to Joseph by Fr. Richard W. Gilsdorf as the next book I’m going to review for Catholic Company. I’m only six pages into it and feel like my mind’s already been stretched.

Friday, December 25, 2009

More Cherished Christmas Traditions

Christmas Movies

     We enjoy watching the VHS tape of Christmas videos my mom recorded twenty some years agowhen we lived in Naperville, Illinois. It’s fun seeing the old 7Up commercials, weather reports, etc. every year from when I was in first and second grade. Each year there are certain movies our family likes to watch. “White Christmas,” “It’s a Wonderful Life,” “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas,” “Mickey’s Christmas Carol,” and “Home Alone” are definitely must-sees each year.

Christmas Eve
     Generally we gather in the room with the Christmas tree, listen to carols, each get to open one gift. We enjoy an assortment of hors-d’oeuvres throughout the evening which include: my mom’s homemade chicken fingers, shrimp cocktail, cocktail sausages, a vegetable tray, chips, and of course our Christmas cookies. At some point we turn all the lights out to enjoy the glow from the candles in the room and the lights on the tree as we sip hot cocoa, tea, or coffee.
Christmas Day
     When we were little (okay, actually up until last Christmas), Mom and Dad went in the family room first, turned on the tree lights, lit a fire in the fireplace if we had one, then my sisters and I always entered the room where the tree and presents were in order from youngest to oldest. None of the presents from Santa are ever wrapped. They are stuffed in stockings and strategically placed out at the edge of the other wrapped gifts under the tree, sectioned off by who gets what.
     For some reason we’ve had a tradition of opening our stockings first while eyeing our section of unwrapped gifts under the tree. In more recent years, Theresa has been the one who sits on the floor next to the Christmas tree and distributes gifts for the rest of us to open. We often end up leaving our gifts scattered about in the room. Coffee, hot tea, and Christmas cookies are often part of breakfast.
     Often times we get dressed up and go to Mass on Christmas morning. I love this tradition, because it helps offset some of the commercialism that can be a big part of the morning’s festivities. What better way to remember Jesus is the reason for the season, than to recall His birth, life, and sacrifice for us by singing, praying, and taking part in the Eucharist.
     In the late afternoon or evening, we have our traditional Christmas dinner of turkey, mashed potatoes, squash, crescent rolls, veggies, etc. We spend more time sitting around the tree with candles lit around the room to create a warm ambiance.
     Lord, thank You for blessing us with the gift of Your Son. Help us to live in such a way that we help all around us prepare more room in their hearts for Jesus. Amen.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Our Family's Christmas Traditions

Christmas Music


The minute I heard one of our family's fave Christmas songs for the first time this season I had to call my mom and play it for her over the phone. I'm sure she had visions of her three daughters spinning near the decorated tree to "Jingle Bells" (on speed) by Barbra Streisand. We’d dance, spin, and laugh until the colored lights on the tree were a blur and we’d tumble to the ground.
   
Another popular Christmas album by a Jewish artist that we played every year when I was growing up was by Neil Diamond. My brother-in-law Jordan’s loathing for Neil Diamond has kept us from playing that particular artist’s songs, at least while he’s there.
   
Since married, Kevin and I have adopted Chicago’s Christmas album as one of our favorites. Our other two must-haves each year are Charlie Brown’s Christmas and Amy Grant’s classics.
   
My mom is very fond of Christmas music, so when we were younger and all still living at home, we’d sometimes hide her tapes or CDs, so we wouldn’t have to listen to them more than a month before or after Christmas.

The Family Tree

When Mary and I were little, we would all go out as a family to pick out our live Christmas tree. Someone would be assigned to watch the back of the car on the way home to make sure the tree didn’t fall out. We have always used little colored lights, home-made ornaments from our elementary school days, sewn ornaments my mom had made, ornaments from souvenirs, travels, and to mark special days, as well as store-bought ornaments. My dad used to love it when people refused to believe that we had a live tree. They insisted it looked far too perfect to be real.
   
This year my mom, Kevin, and I were the only ones who went to the lot to pick out our family tree. We all gathered to decorate the tree once Jordan had brought it in and they’d gotten our little colored lights on it. The tree’s a bit shorter than in years past, but we still had trouble putting the angel on top with the branch so close to the ceiling. Of course Christmas carols were playing in the background. We all got to watch “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas” together.

Making Christmas Cookies

When we lived in Rowlett, Texas, we often spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with my uncle Rich, Aunt Linda, and cousins: Tim, Tom, John, and Amy. It was Uncle Rich and Aunt Linda who introduced us to the tradition of baking and decorating Christmas cookies. We have kept up this ritual each year since. One year Mary and I were having so much fun decorating cookies that we ran out of normal decorations and started using random candy we found around the house, such as Breathsavers.
   
In more recent years, our cookie decorating has gotten a bit more creative, artistic, intricate, and unusual. I’m fairly certain my sister Mary and her husband Jordan win for taking the longest to decorate a single cookie. My dad wanted to eat a cookie, but he wasn’t sure which one to take since all of them were decorated with so much detail.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Fall Asleep Counting Your Blessings

This Advent has been much different from those in years past. For one thing, we’ve usually gotten together as a family by now and decorated our Douglas fir Christmas tree. We’ve also usually gotten together to bake and decorate Christmas cookies, which we also haven’t done yet this year.
    
In previous years, I would have already spent hours writing Christmas cards, making or buying presents, and going to various local Christmas concerts and shows, parties, etc. Many things have been different this Advent, and maybe that’s a good thing. Kevin and I haven’t done nearly as much hustling and bustling as we usually do. Only a few of our planned activities we missed due to illness or because of snow.
    
We’ve spent more evenings at home together, and it’s been really nice. We do the daily readings, and share the reflections, answer the questions from a few different Advent devotionals, maybe pray the Rosary. We’ve felt God has been answering our prayers that He would draw Kevin and I closer to Him and close to each other.
   
I’ve made a conscious effort to spend more time in prayer, in part, because I heard not one but two priests strongly suggest that everyone would be much happier if we spent the Advent season preparing our minds and hearts for Christ’s coming, then celebrate Christmas during the days on the liturgical calendar set aside for that joyful occasion which is from Christmas Eve to January 10 this year.
    
I guess the true test will come over the next week, when the temptation will be greater to rush around to find gifts and do our usual family traditions. I’m not too worried right now, though. I feel in many ways that Kevin and I have already given the most important Christmas gifts we could have. We’ve spent more time with God and with each other. We’ve used what we have been given to help others in need. We can see more of our blessings, past and present, and be grateful for them.
    
The following lyrics from the "White Christmas" movie seem to sum up part of what has made this season more peaceful for us:
“When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings
When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep counting my blessings”

Lord, help all of us to count the presence of Your Son in the world as the greatest present ever given. Open our hearts and minds to the love inherent in You sending Jesus into the world as a vulnerable, helpless baby. Teach us to center on You, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, who are the source of all love, joy, peace, and hope. Amen.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Lessons from the movie: “It’s a Wonderful Life”


      “Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?” –Clarence "It's a Wonderful Life"
     Since we don’t have someone like Clarence, who shows us all the ways in which we’ve made a difference, we might occasionally have moments when we wonder how we got to where we are and ask why our lives don’t seem as significant as we feel they ought to be.
     Losing a loved one, being laid off from a job, finding yourself light years away from where you thought you’d be by a certain age or place in your career, ministry, or faith can all lead to questions and reflection.
     An important point to ponder if/when we reach such a line of internal questioning: each one of us touches so many other lives.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Rejoice and Be Glad!

Rejoice and be glad! Sounds like a good idea to me! Celebrate, be pleased about, cheer, exult, delight that God is with us!

I’m doing my best to live out this part of the Christmas message, but it can be challenging at times. Friends and family have said they have lots to do to get ready for Christmas, and when I hear this, I know they’re talking about preparing their homes, buying and wrapping presents, sending out Christmas cards, hosting parties, and buying more gifts.

Not once have I heard people tell me they’re getting ready for Christmas has included slowing down to spend some quiet time to allow God to fill their hearts and minds with the magnitude of love and the unending joy He gave to us by sending Christ into the world.
     
We make time for what’s important to us. During the holidays, it often seems we don’t have as much time as we do other periods during the year. People seem more harried and hurried. A couple of the special things I made time for last Christmas season truly helped me to understand more about the love and selflessness, the awe and wonder, the generosity and compassion, that Christ coming into the world in the form of an infant illustrate to us.
    
On Dec. 6, 2008, the Feast of St. Nicholas, a group of Cursillistas and their spouses attended Mass at Little Sisters of the Poor, had a potluck lunch, and then sang Christmas carols to the residents at St. Joseph’s Little Sisters of the Poor nursing home, where my grandmother has lived for over a year now.
     
Fr. Leo Gagnon, the former chaplain at Little Sisters, was the priest and one of the spiritual directors on team with me and fourteen others for the Cursillo Women’s Weekend October 2008. Knowing that Fr. Leo lost his dear mother the previous year near Christmas, we wanted to come and spend time with him around the holidays and thought taking part in the celebrations surrounding St. Nicholas would be a good way to show him his Christian family cares about him.
     
Fr. Leo dressed up as St. Nicholas for the residents. He shared stories with us about the life of this saint, then he had each person come up for a blessing with the holy oil miraculously produced by St. Nicholas’ bones each year. This experience was the opposite of a visit to Santa Claus, who is of course, modeled after St. Nicholas. Instead of coming up and whispering what store-bought items you hoped to receive for your own satisfaction, we were asked to come up to St. Nicholas, receive an anointing, and tell him what we hoped God would give to the world this year.
     
Many of the residents came forward with the same eagerness and anticipation you see on children’s faces when they approach Santa with their wish-lists ready. It was beautiful to watch. I had the privilege of seeing all of this up close when I began helping pass out candy canes to the residents after Fr. Leo had blessed them and heard their prayer request for the world.
    
No one was worried about getting perfect pictures with St. Nicholas. Everyone patiently waited for their turn. The spirit of love and generosity were real, not part of an act a man in a white beard and some elf-helpers were getting paid to perform.
     
Soon after that day, my mom, my friend Barb, and I went to see my grandmother in the Christmas play at Little Sisters. What a wonderful experience! Men and women in their 70s and 80s were the stars of a play written by the activities director at the nursing home. They came out in full costumes and did a wonderful job in the production of “The Mouse and the Manger.”
     
My grandmother was the narrator for the play. In weeks leading up to the show, she would get really worked up telling us about the practices, because the others in the play would change the words or forget their lines, which she never did. She said the nuns never corrected them as long as they remembered the essential parts and didn’t change the meaning of the story, but it really got my grandma going. The funny thing is, it never occurred to her that she would be making as many omissions and changes if she didn’t have the role of narrator, which allows her to sit in her wheelchair with a microphone and read directly from the script.
     
The play was very touching, but I could tell what the cast of residents enjoyed most was getting compliments, hugs, and kisses from the nuns, staff, family members, and friends who had come to watch.
    
Often we hear that we need to be good stewards of our time, talent, and treasure. As the days until Christmas draw closer,

I’ve been asking myself some questions to try and keep on the right track: Am I spending time a significant amount of time listening to, conversing with, learning from God? Do I set aside time to pray and make it a priority, or do I put it on my list of things to do and allow other things I need or want to accomplish come first?
    
Do I spend more quality time enjoying the company of family and friends than I do shopping for store-bought things they may or may not want or need? Do I focus only on what I can do to make this a nice holiday season for me, or do I look to others who have less, who have lost a loved one this year, who are struggling in mind, body, or spirit, and offer them support? How can I live out the call to rejoice and be glad this holiday season?
    
I pray that you may experience the peace, love, joy, and compassion God wants to give you this Advent season.

Saint of the Day (Sixth revised edition) Ed. Foley & McCloskey

Recently I have been thinking about how each and every one of us is called to become a saint. Scripture passages, conversations with friends, and reading the classic best-seller Saint of the Day (Revised 6th Edition) have all helped me begin to examine this call on a deeper level. I marked each of the pages in this book containing the most applicable and profound statements that could be incorporated in modern day life about what it means to be a saint.
    
I was recently talking with a friend about how we’re all called to become saints. I find this call rather daunting, especially when I read about the incredible suffering in mind, body, and spirit that many of the saints faced throughout their lives. I wonder if they always seemed as brave and fearless as they come across, at least in short biographies. I’m not afraid to pray that God would make me holy, even though I know significant spiritual cleansing will be a necessary part of the process, but I’m not yet brave enough to pray that God would make me a saint.
    
I remember thinking the same thing when I made my Encounter with Christ weekend #133 in the Diocese of Richmond back in February 2000. The girl who was my team member at table was praying that God would make her a saint. I found that such an amazing prayer for someone to pray. She certainly wasn’t asking that of God for the fame or the praise that a few saints-to-be have received while still living. I could tell her faith was so strong that she wanted to lay everything she was and could be on the line to serve God.
    
Deep down I want more than anything else to do God’s will. That’s been tested over and over again in my life. But to pray to be made a saint? I’m not there, yet. I fear the suffering that might be involved. I obviously lack the level of faith and trust necessary to submit willingly to suffering, even ask for it, in order to serve God at my full capacity. Perhaps I’ll get to the point someday, when I’ll be able to pray what she has prayed. Until then, I’ll continue studying the lives of the saints, finding the similarities among them, and try to be more open to the ways the Holy Spirit would like to work in and through me.
    
Though the lives of the individuals included in this book were vastly different in many ways, each person clearly exemplified what it means to be holy and Christ-like to others. For some, this involved being scholars and teachers, and for others it meant living among and serving the poorest of the poor. Some lived very short, extremely devout lives of suffering and grace before being martyred. Others spent many years on this earth putting their God-given gifts and abilities to use by serving others in whatever places and circumstances to which the Lord led them.
    
Whether among the laity, virgins, married, consecrated religious, priests, deacons, bishops, or popes, they answered God’s call to bring the Truth into the world, forgetting the price they might have to pay so that others would come to accept and embrace the love of the Lord in giving us His only beloved Son.
    
Through well-written short biographies, reflections, and quotes, the reader may glean a good first look at the lives of the saints, both those well-known and those lesser-known ones, as well as a handful of Blesseds, and five recently canonized individuals. The book is laid out to be read during the calendar year. There is an index of the saints by name and another one by date. A great deal of Church history is included in the short biographies, since many of these holy men and women were instrumental in the formation of the Catholic Church teachings as we know them today. Also included are Scripture passages, quotes from beatification Masses, and text taken directly from the writings of the saints. I found it especially helpful that anything included that is considered legend instead of fact, was stated as such.
    
This book is a good synopsis of the lives of many saints that is likely to inspire the reader to come across one or two saints he or she would like to learn more about through additional reading and research. It’s also a fairly good reference for discovering the patron saints of various places, professions, etc.
    
This review was written as part of the Catholic book Reviewer program from The Catholic Company. I was given a free copy of the book in exchange for an honest written review of the work. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on Saint of the Day (Revised 6th Edition).

Saturday, December 5, 2009

What's in Your Cup?

Recently I started a new ritual that my husband and I have both enjoyed. I tend to go to bed a bit later than he does, and he usually gets up a bit earlier than I do. In the evening we do the daily readings together and have some prayer time, but most mornings, I’ll emerge from the bedroom long enough to say hi, then go back for my 20-30 minutes of quiet prayer time.
    
I’d been inviting Kevin to take some quiet time to pray as well. Both of us pray throughout the day, but there is a value beyond measure to meeting God alone. That’s why Jesus often went off on his own to pray. We are told that God will come to us in the silence, and in one of my favorite Psalm verses 46:10, we are invited to be still and know the Lord.
    
During my own prayer time one day, I got an idea. Kevin doesn’t read a lot of religious/spiritual books like I do, but he’s generally open to listening to the passages I’d like to share with him and discuss. Keeping that in mind, I decided that each morning I would start setting out some spiritual food for thought on the loveseat where he has his morning cup of coffee.
    
Lately, I’ve been leaving open a book called which has short Scripture reflections by C.H. Spurgeon. Below the two reflections, I open up a prayer book with one prayer on each page. When I began this practice, I used the prayer book I made for my dad which includes a culmination of my favorite prayers, quotes, as well as some prayers and reflections I’ve written. Sometimes I pull from other sources for the prayers. I also write Kevin a brief love note.
    
In order to prop the pages of the books open, I lay the porcelain frog and lily pad I gave him when he was on the Men’s Team last March. Russ, the rector of the weekend, taught us a few years ago about F.R.O.G. (Fully Relying On God), and in Kevin’s talk on evangelization for the March weekend, he took the philosophy one leap further. He emphasized the importance of F.R.O.G.P.A.D. (Fully Relying On God with Purpose And Direction).
    
Looking at the very relaxed frog reminds me of how we can be at peace and at rest when we are indeed fully relying on God. It seems to be a good reminder for Kevin as well. It also serves to remind him of a very special weekend when he was very aware of the Holy Spirit working in, through, and around him.
    
My mom gave me a soft-like-suede covered journal with the title Love Notes for my birthday. I started writing Kevin little love notes on small pads of paper we had lying around. Sometimes he’d flip them over or write a short message at the bottom in response. Eventually, I decided to write each day in the Love Notes journal. Now, Kevin responds with his own love note to me each morning.
    
Kevin and I have talked about how this has been an effective, yet cleverly sneaky way to get him to start each day with prayer. I dare say it’s made his fair trade organic coffee taste even better ;). I know I’ve had fun coming out and reading Kevin’s love notes to me each morning and knowing that he’s spending some time in prayer.
    
Lord, thank You for inspiring us to do loving gestures and acts of kindness for those closest to us as well as to those strangers who cross our paths. Guide us to come to You in the silence so that You can fill us up with the love and mercy You wish to shower upon us. Amen.
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