Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Return: How To Draw Your Child Back to the Church by Brandon Vogt

You’ve likely seen Return: How to Draw Your Child Back to the Church advertised on Facebook along with a photo of the author Brandon Vogt, a quote or video clip from Bishop Robert Barron, and/or maybe the endorsement from Matthew Kelly.  Why are all of these men so excited about this book?  Is it worth all of the hype?

Yes, it is, and then some! 

There are many books out there that address how to share the Christian faith, the teachings of the Catholic Church, and how to witness to others what God has done in your own life.  I’ve read quite a few of them, most of which have been insightful, informative, and thought-provoking.  I have yet to come across a book that is as succinct as this one is in describing a game plan for inviting people back to the Church and a deeper relationship with Christ. 

One of my favorite things about this book is that Brandon Vogt did tons and tons of reading and extensive research to get a handle on the who, what, why of the mass exodus and develop a plan to draw people back to Christ.  I’m a voracious reader myself, so I can completely identify with this approach.  I've read some of the books that Brandon recommends, but I have some others I've read that weren't on his list.  Here’s a list of 25 books I’ve read, reviewed, and recommend about Catholics returning to the faith or developing a closer walk with Christ. 
 
So often when I share about my husband coming back to the Catholic Church, people tell me how much they long to have their spouse, son, daughter, and/or grandchildren join them at the Eucharist, again.  I encourage them that it’s never too late and that nothing is impossible with God. 

Typically, the two main prayers I prayed when hoping Kevin would return to the faith in which he was raised were the Rosary and The Prayer to Mary for the Conversion of a Loved One which I found in a book called Praying with Mary byJanice T. Connell many years ago.

There are many more concrete suggestions on how to encourage an openness to God’s voice in Return.  Award-winning evangelist, author, speaker, and blogger Brandon Vogt starts by going over some rather bleak stats that illustrate why and how people are drifting from the faith.  He outlines the primary objections people say they have to Church teachings and the most prevalent reasons those people give for leaving. 

It’s hard to address an issue if you don’t acknowledge it is one and discover the root source causing the problem, so this approach is a great way to start.

Vogt suggests assessing the situation, praying, fasting, and planting seeds in order to invite people to dialogue about the faith in a non-threatening way.  Practical suggestions, personal stories, and examples make this book easily accessible and user-friendly. 

Many of the tactics are the nuts and bolts of fostering better communication and relationships in general.  Listening and asking questions are basic building blocks for good discussion and developing trust.  Start there and search for common ground and shared values.  Answer objections calmly and carefully, and keep in mind that you aren’t completely responsible for your child leaving or returning to the Church. That’s God’s piece.  Our part is prayer, fasting, sacrifice, equipping ourselves with knowledge, and initiating some talks about the faith. 

ReturnResources.com has a plethora of bonus features, links to the many articles, studies, and surveys Vogt consulted when researching for  this book.  The man did his homework and has put together a very doable plan for how to invite your loved ones and friends who have fallen away from the faith back into the flock. 

I highly recommend Return: How to Draw Your Child Back to the Church for anyone who has a loved one they would like to welcome home to the Catholic faith.  This is certainly a great guide for parents and grandparents, but really anyone can benefit from learning this plan of evangelization and putting it into action.  These practical suggestions would be just as effective when talking with a spouse, sibling, relative, or friend.  I honestly can’t think of a single person who wouldn’t benefit from reading this book and sharing it with others.

Monday, May 30, 2016

25 Great Books I Have Read, Reviewed, and Recommended (in no particular order) about People Growing Closer to Christ and Coming Home to the Catholic Church




















Thursday, May 26, 2016

Is Disappointment Your Default Setting?

One of my earliest memories of feeling like a disappointment I experienced when my sister was born. I thought my parents must not have been happy with me, that I hadn’t been enough, not quite what they wanted, so they tried again.  At the age of two-and-a-half, I felt as though I was being replaced because I hadn’t lived up to their expectations.    

The next thing I knew someone was sleeping in my bed, wearing my clothes, getting attention from my parents and relatives that used to be directed to me.  My baby sister was adorable, had blond hair, blue eyes, and sucked her thumb.  “I can’t compete with that!” was what I felt. 

My second long-lasting assumption about life was that you show people you love and care about them by protecting them from bad things happening.  I’m not sure what exact sequence of events led to me adopting this belief, but I know it was also deeply ingrained at a young age.  I, therefore, surmised that the only way I could be a good big sister was to protect my sister from harm, hurtful words, and/or the malicious actions of others.  The trouble was that I couldn’t shield myself from such things back then, so I had no idea how I would ever be able to guard someone else from them. 

The combination of these two beliefs made me feel like a failure long before I knew what that word meant.  I hadn’t been everything my parents wanted, so they had another child.  I wasn’t a good big sister since I couldn’t protect her from bad things happening, nor did I refrain from causing her discomfort, so I’d messed that up, too.  The way envisioned it I’d gone from being the princess everyone loved to the daughter and big sister no one wanted or needed.     

Early on I also picked up on my dad’s disapproval—thinking it was because I wasn’t enough rather than realizing that’s how he felt about himself.  Eventually, I internalized that negative self-image and made it my own.  From then on, I rarely questioned whether such sentiments most often originated inside of me or from external sources.  I found it exasperating that I couldn’t do anything perfectly, so I just assumed that everyone was as disappointed in me as I was.     

I had an interesting revelation last week largely inspired by this suggestion and questions:

Notice how many times today you are disappointed with yourself and others. What standards are you measuring everything against? How are these standards affecting you and the people in your life?

Self-observation and reflecting on the above questions in silent prayer led me to the realization that my default setting is to believe that other people are disappointed in me.  I hadn’t really considered at length that my perpetual dissatisfaction with myself isn’t necessarily how everyone else feels towards or about me.

Considering this possibility I reviewed the past several months of my life to determine if there has been a pattern in my thinking.  I found that there has.  If I haven’t texted, called, e-mailed, written, or visited recently, I assume people I care about are disappointed in me for not doing a better job of keeping in touch or of expressing my love and concern for them.  Family and close friends I figure are disappointed in me for not being a more involved, supportive, helpful, and encouraging as a wife, daughter, sister, or friend.

The experience made me think of the last Hunger Games movie.  In Mockingjay Part 2, there’s a scene when Peeta confesses that the lies and truth get so mixed up in his mind that he doesn’t know what to believe.  While in captivity, he’d been tortured and brainwashed.  The further from that time he gets the easier it becomes to distinguish between what actually happened and what videos were altered to deceive him.  During this interim of uncertainty, Katniss suggests that Peeta ask someone he trusts for the truth.  Thus begins his habit of asking her if a memory, feeling, or impression he has is real or not real.  

Since my husband knows me incredibly well and has for close to 20 years now, I started by asking him.    

“Are you disappointed in me?” I braced myself for his response.

“No,” Kevin answered. “Why would I be?”

I felt both surprised and relieved.  As natural as it is for me to assume I’m a disappointment, many other people are confused that I feel that way about myself.  This was a definite “aha” moment for me. 

Through talking with Kevin and reflecting on interactions with other family members and friends, I became better able to see how my sentiments and perceptions of others don’t necessarily match other people’s attitude towards me.  Of course, I see how this ties into my default way of thinking that people would rather spend time with someone other than me. 

What’s the lesson in all of this?  Sometimes, it’s important to question our default settings to see if they are accurate, are helping us relate to others, and are worth returning to after we’ve wandered.

Questions for Reflection: Is disappointment your default setting?  If so, why is that?  When did you first feel that others were disappointed in you?  Is there a person in your life who has contributed to you feeling that way?  How does that person feel about him or her self?  Is it possible you may have absorbed how he or she feels and assumed it is how that person feels about you?  Are you perpetually disappointed in yourself or others?  If so, why is that?

As is often the case, I ultimately asked God if He’s disappointed in me.  His answer was gentle and loving.  If and when you’re ready, I suggest you ask the Lord the same question about yourself and listen quietly for His response. 

My Prayer: Lord, help us be open to how You see us instead of how we measure up in our own minds or in the eyes of those who are close to us.  Teach us to be gentle with ourselves and others knowing that we all make mistakes, are imperfect, and that the road to holiness isn’t paved with perfection but with grace.  

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Is Your Main Man Part Minion? 10 Ways You Can Tell

My husband is a very good sport.  He loved these two pages I colored for him so much
they are now taped up on the wall.  He also humored me by posing for these pics.  

My husband whose real name is Kevin loves the minions. I’m convinced that is the case, in part, because he kind of is one.    

10 Ways You Can Tell If Your Main Man Is Part Minion:



1. He should not be left unsupervised for long periods of time.

2. He can be quite cute and endearing. 

3. He loves bananas.

4. He is still disproportionately entertained by scatological humor.

5. He often wears black and blue.

6. He found both Despicable Me movies to be wildly entertaining. 

7. He has the same name as one of the minions.

8. He’s not above playing practical jokes.      

9. He can be rather mischievous.


10. He exhibits very single-minded focus.

Do these describe your main man?  They're all true of mine.  If your guy is part minion, I hope you have a wonderful sense of humor and can appreciate the silliness he adds to your life.

Friday, May 20, 2016

Risen Movie Review, Reflection, and Virtual Blog Tour

Risen is the greatest detective story ever told.  Political unrest, religious disagreements, torture, multiple motives, unusual suspects, layers of lies, covert operations, betrayal, a crime scene investigation, unreliable witnesses, and implausible implications create quite the unsolved mystery.  Only this time they’re not looking for the murderer.  Everyone knows who did it.  The how, where, and when were public knowledge.  They’re looking for the missing body.   

Pontius Pilot charges his tribune Clavius (Joseph Fiennes) with preventing an uprising in Jerusalem.  The followers of Joshua claim that he will rise again, so the Roman soldiers take several precautions to ensure that his brutally beaten body won’t be stolen from the tomb.   We all know how well that goes.

Though a well-trained killer, Clavius possesses two weapons far more dangerous than his sword: his disbelief and hardness of heart.  In time, the hunter becomes one of the hunted.  The non-believer can’t reconcile that he saw a man who was dead, then he later saw that very same man alive again, talking, eating, and healing the sick.  The obvious, tangible presence of the person Clavius had watched expire on the cross completely unnerved him.  He was in full armor, but the man before him still managed to pierce his heart.  

This film is a form of evangelization and historical fiction that raises some of the big questions about life and death:

To whom do you answer?  To whose summons do you respond to immediately?   Whose word do you believe?  Who determines your call and purpose in life?  Can you believe, trust, and remember what you see, hear, experience, touch, taste, and smell?  Are you more concerned about what the truth is about or what other people think?  How does what you believe reflect on you?  How does it become evident through your words and actions?

A genuine encounter with Jesus Christ always transforms people. 

Are the events in the film, their sequential order, and the characters in the movie 100% Biblically accurate? No.  Do they create a thought-provoking look at what life might have been like at that time while weaving in some facts we do know about the Resurrection?  Absolutely! 

This is a movie that believers and nonbelievers alike can enjoy.  Though once you've experienced it firsthand, there's no going back.



To pre-order your own copy of Risen which is being released May 24, 2016, click here.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Handmade, Homemade Art Appreciation


I've always enjoyed doing arts and crafts a great deal.  Growing up, my mom, sisters, and I were forever doing various projects.  We had all sorts of supplies to make friendship bracelets, beaded jewelry, weave potholders, knit, cross-stitch, draw, color pictures, and paint. My mom assured we had an extensive assortment of creative options.  She joined us in exploring with many different materials, media, and came up with many original ideas for cool kids' projects.

I'm still excited and inspired to have bright colored pencils and markers, different hues and textures of paper, paint, intricate designs to color...  When really little, my mom called me "the paper monster."  Here's the story behind that nickname and what began my passion for paper.

Sometimes it has felt a little safer for me to work on a piece of art than it has for me to write, especially when I'm still processing something that's hit me on a visceral level.

After training myself to write whatever comes to mind in my journal as a way of processing my thoughts and feelings without filtering them, it feels a bit harrowing, potentially dangerous to write without holding anything back. At times, creating a piece of art seems a little less revealing, raw, or intimidating to me than some of my writing can be.

I have continued my love of arts and crafts by dabbling in drawing, coloring, painting, jewelry-making, scrapbooking, and such well into adulthood. Photography continues to be one of my major passions.

Over the past few years, when I have felt my thoughts or emotions are still too raw to put into words, I have turned to art as my expression and way of processing.  Many of the art projects I did just for fun, because I felt inspired to create something.


When my new youngest sister arrived on the scene last month and was getting settled, she mentioned that she'd like to decorate her bedroom walls.  Since I had a box of artwork at our place that I had done but hadn't hung, I brought it over in case there was anything in there that might be of interest to her.  I had done a few pieces with pink in them, which I know is her favorite color, so I thought she might like one or two of those.

She was quite thrilled going through the box and surprised that I had done all of the different pieces.  I was trying to explain that she was welcome to take whatever she liked, but I wasn't positive she understood after she looked through many items then put everything back in the box.

Within a week or two, my mom told me I should really come over and see what my new sister had done to her room.  I gathered from that she had chosen some of the artwork I'd brought over to put up.

I was amazed when I walked into her bedroom and saw the walls covered with art projects I had done over the past few years.  It made me feel very loved and appreciated that she was so excited to put the artwork I'd made up in her room.

After years of spending hours, days, sometimes even months creating handmade, homemade gifts for people only to discover shortly after that some of them have been discarded or relegated to some dusty box in the basement, I felt really encouraged that artwork I had done for the sheer joy of creating long before I met my youngest sister or even knew my mom would become a foster parent has spoken to her and been instrumental in making the room her own.

Every single piece of artwork I brought over is now hanging up somewhere in her room.  I see this as the adult version of having your report card or latest project up on the fridge.  Some day I may have my artwork, most likely my photography in an exhibit, but for now, this has warmed my heart and made me feel appreciated.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Kevin's Got Class: Put the Legos Down and Slowly Back Away

This is the town that Kevin and two of his comrades made
to fulfill the in-class assignment they were given earlier this week. 
(Lego supply was limited. See below.)

Kevin and his classmates were asked to get into teams of three and create a green city with housing for 2000 people, a hospital, fire and police stations, shopping center, waste management facility, public transportation, schools, and at least one green area such as a park. 

The materials provided were flat 3’x 3’cardboard pieces with plain white paper to draw on, markers, Legos, and wood blocks for construction materials.  There was only one container about the size of a cinderblock filled with Legos to share among 5 teams.  

My husband’s team was on a roll building things left and right.  They were quickly running out of the Legos they needed for the project. Kevin took it upon himself to go “shopping” from the other teams. His problem-solving technique met with great resistance.

“Don’t make me steal them from you,” Kevin said to the first group he came to that denied his request. “You probably don’t even have a police station, yet.”

“Our police station is right there,” his classmate said, pointing to it.  “And there’s the jail.” 

“Look!” Kevin said, eyeing the petit prison.  “There I am in the window!”

Everyone cracked up.

Apparently good times were had in their sustainability and design class this week. 

Next week the winning team will receive a dozen Sugar Shack donuts.  This announcement met with great excitement and a little smack talk.

“Our team will enjoy them thoroughly,” Kevin boasted.  “But your water looks mighty tasty.”

My husband has gone from skipping class, avoiding all reading and homework assignments, and not studying in high school to the head of his class, the resident comedian, and the model student asked to help others.  Who knew?  

Nothing is impossible with God!  My husband Kevin is currently attending ITT for a degree in Drafting and Design.  He has class three nights a week from now until he graduates in September 2017, and so far he's aced everything and has been chosen by his teachers to mentor those who have fallen behind.  

Please keep us in your prayers as we discern how and where God would like Kevin to use the abilities he is learning and honing at present and in the future.    

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Jazz Girl a novel of Mary Lou Williams and her early life by Sarah Bruce Kelly


The spirit of the woman and her music played on my emotions and tugged at my heartstrings.  A testimony to the power of music and the gift of a passion for it early in life are woven into this novel about a girl born and brought up to jazz.  

As a toddler, Mary sat on her mama’s lap while she played the church organ, and that’s where she got her start at the ripe age of three.  With more than her fair share of setbacks, she keeps moving forward, transforming each loss into the fuel for her rhythm and blues. 

I didn’t know a great deal about the life of the real Mary Lou Williams, but I could easily relate and empathize with the mostly innocent and childish, yet deeply sensitive viewpoint of the main character as she may have been before coming of age. 

The pain of prejudice, damage of alcohol abuse, and the heavy weight of mourning the loss of loved ones were palpable.  I could almost feel what the music would sound like that she’d “conjure up” at different times under the influence of powerful emotions that she knew no other way to express or process. 

The notion of an artist being compelled to express herself through her craft comes out loud and clear.  All of the drama and heartache at home and school are jazz juice for her fast fingers and singing soul. 

Once I finished reading Jazz Girl, I began watching videos on YouTube of Mary Lou Williams playing the piano, talking about how she got started at a very young age the same way described in the novel. 

I’m fascinated to learn more about Mary Lou Williams and hear about what inspired the author to write this novel.  Fortunately, I’m good friends with the author’s best friend, so that shouldn’t be too hard to arrange.

I’m grateful to my Cursillo friend and co-worker Becky for loaning me her signed copy of the book last week.  What perfect timing!  I only wish I had known that Sarah Bruce Kelly was coming to town to speak, so I could have gone to that as well.  (She says she'll let me know the next time she's in our area giving a talk.)

To me, good historical fiction reads like an intriguing story while creating a curiosity in the reader to do more research to figure out the fact from the fiction.  Jazz Girl has certainly made me eager to learn more about this music legend’s legacy and her biography.


For more information about Jazz Girl or to order your own copy, click here. 

Sunday, May 15, 2016

The Soundtrack to My Life: Your Positive Encouraging Radio (PER)

This awesome radio station which is available online to stream live has been the soundtrack to my life for the past few months since I "happened upon" Your Positive Encouraging Radio.

Many of the song lyrics on this Christian radio station have resonated so much they have brought me to tears. Others have gotten me to turn up the radio and sing my heart out. 

A few of my fave songs/music videos are below:

Lauren Daigle "Trust in You"


This is the graphic I was inspired to create with the photo of the sunrise I took looking over Lake Ontario several years ago.  It was actually the day after Kevin and I first admitted out loud we had feelings for each other.  We had stayed up all night talking on the cottage deck. (I was still in high school and Kevin significantly beyond that part of his life, so we never ever thought we'd have a chance to be a couple.)  I paired that memorable sunrise I saw the next morning (super-early since I couldn't sleep at all that night) with these lyrics.



Matthew West "Grace Wins"


Stars Go Dim "You Are Loved"

Friday, May 13, 2016

A Nature Walk Leads to Artistic Exploration: God's Love Is Always in Blossom


I went for a walk in our neighborhood one afternoon, and when I saw the seed pods all over the ground, I thought about how they look like the wings of fairies .

I picked up several seed pods along with a blossom or two that had fallen on the sidewalk. When I got home I started playing with the seed pods, and skinny brown fronds from a branch, and then I thought to cut a little dress out of the paint samples I have on my art shelf.


The fairy dancing photo in the center of the above graphic is one I took.  I only had one pink Dogwood blossom still intact by the time I returned home, so I photographed it with the fairy, cropped, copied, and pasted it to look like she was surrounded by them.  

The graphic I made from it is a reminder that God's love is always in season and full bloom.  Several years ago when my mom still lived in the house she had, I framed a group of flower photos I had taken and wrote a similar quote to go with them.  I hung the whole display in the kitchen, where it stayed until it was time to put the house on the market.  

Love can be honoring and appreciating nature, art, and the things people spend time and energy to do or make to express their affection for us.

For a fun nature-inspired art project you can do with children, click here.  

Lord, thank You for the beauty of nature and the opportunity to be creative with and in it.

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Top 12 Signs It Might Be Time to Find a New Child Care Provider


I’ve learned a great deal about child care over the past 20+ years of experience babysitting, nannying, teaching, tutoring, mentoring, and helping to nurture, raise, and teach newborns through teens.  

Five of these are fun and meant to be outrageous.  Seven are dead serious signs that child safety is not a primary priority at a child care facility or school.  Do these sound familiar?  If so, your kids and you deserve better!


Your child has been taken on an unannounced field trip out of the country without your knowledge or permission.


The ABCs learned in your child’s class are: A is for Assault, B is for Battery and Bullying, and C is for Crying and Complaining.

A full-page ad and coupon for The Nit Fairies were in your parent orientation packet. 


Buffy the Vampire Slayer would be tempted to come get some of the dagger-length pieces of mulch on your playground when she’s running low on wooden stakes.


The Department of Social Services (DSS) inspector for your daycare has been onsite so many times in the past six months investigating violations and complaints that they’re forcing you to give her an office at your location.


Children under the age of ten are regularly allowed to hang out in places where they are not within sight and sound of an adult.


A number of teachers and assistants who have worked at a particular company and/or at a specific location from anywhere between two years to fifty or more leave in the middle of the school year.


There’s at least one new teacher you’ve never met or heard of with your child every week while another one has mysteriously disappeared never to be seen again.


No list of children with life-threatening allergies and the medicine they take in case of emergency is posted or readily available.


There is a list of those with life-threatening allergies, but the person on staff who is driving regularly forgets to bring your child’s Epi-pen/inhaler on each off-site bus run or field trip.


A new hire whose background check hasn't been returned yet is left alone with children of any age in a classroom, outside, on a school bus, or in any place where the adult and people in her care are not visible to a current faculty member with approved background screening.  

And the # 
sign it might be time to find a new childcare provider…

Not a single one of the teachers/staff members onsite when you drop off or pick up can correctly identify ALL of the following: 
A. your child by appearance 

B. his/her full name 

C. any life-threatening allergies and medications he/she has on-hand 

D. The appearance and/or first and last name of a parent or another approved pick-up person.


Do you know the most important questions to ask when interviewing a person whom you’re considering leaving alone with your children for hours at a time? 
   
If not, you're not alone.  Most parents don't know all the pertinent things to ask and look for when selecting the right child care scenario for their family.  Fortunately, there are many resources available to help you. 

Check out this post from My Nanny Diary series for links to the best and most thorough lists of questions to ask and things to look for to find a safe, competent, caring child care provider.
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