I could identify very well with Fr. Peter’s homily today during which he reminded us a number of times that: “Repentance is a daily decision.” He drove home the point that identifying our sinfulness and being genuinely sorry in the depths of our hearts is something we must do each day.
Yesterday I accidentally dropped the Precious Body of Christ and today I almost stole something from the Diocese of Richmond Pastoral Center, but even without two such mishaps, I’ve been increasingly aware of the desperate need I have for the Lord’s mercy. It's just now many others are even more aware of that need in me as well.
At Sunday evening Mass, I was serving as Eucharistic Minister and was horrified when some of the Consecrated Hosts dropped out of my bowl onto the floor. As if that weren’t upsetting enough, some other Hosts stuck to my scarf. The Cup Minister at my station helped me pick all of them up. Since I had a whole section of people standing there waiting for me to serve them, I put the Hosts in my pocket and continued serving. When finished, I began consuming the Hosts which had fallen on the floor or gotten caught on my scarf, even before we returned to the Blessed Sacrament Chapel. I finished consuming all of the Hosts which had come out of the bowl once in the Chapel. I still felt extremely bad about what had happened.
Last night, I sent a message to the woman in charge of liturgy at our church explaining what had happened in case anyone came to her and complained of someone mishandling the Body of Christ. She said she hasn’t received any complaints and believes I handled the situation appropriately.
When I was at the Pastoral Center for noon Mass, I saw a stack of the black posters with the priest’s white collar showing, and underneath a message about being light for the world. It was on the table where they usually have prayer cards, and issues of The Catholic Virginian for anyone to take. I took a poster planning to give it to a brother in Christ/friend discerning the priesthood, and the receptionist who I know well and find very endearing asked me what I was doing. I explained I was taking one of the posters for a friend discerning the priesthood. She scolded me jokingly and made me put it back because the stack of posters on the table went along with the vocation prayer cards and Try This On For Size priest collar ad, all part of a group of materials someone was coming to pick up at the front desk.
Lord, thank You for Your abundant mercy, unending forgiveness, and unconditional love. Amen.
Dearest Trisha,
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing for you to repent about. Each action that you took was not one of a sinful nature. Your devotion to being a Eucharist Minister is an act of love. Your concern of your brother in Christ is an act of love.
You are a beautiful person, a true sister in Christ. You have the Lord's unconditional love. Please do not forget this.
The other day Sarah came home from religious education telling me that they had talked about the difference between a mistake and a sin -- something done "by accident" and something done "on purpose." Just like any good father, our God covers them both with his love. However, the intentionality of sin makes that love infinitely more costly -- the need for mercy infinitely greater.
ReplyDeleteYou are loved!
Thank you both for your comments!
ReplyDeleteI believe that God knew the intentions in my heart were not to be irreverant or deceptive, but I am very grateful for God's mercy which extends love to us whether what we do is done "by accident" or "on purpose" a mistake or a sin.
Greater than all our flaws is God's love! Thank goodness!