Something Other than God: How I Passionately Sought Happiness and Accidentally Found It

Prepare to be inspired by Something Other than God.  Oh, wait, Jennifer Fulwiler already tried that approach, and it didn’t go at all the way she planned.  The high-powered job, racy sports car, fancy house, decadent parties, and expensive vacations she thought were essential to be content in life weren’t enough.    

    
Fulwiler relentlessly pursued wealth and the finer things.  She met and married someone as ambitious and single-minded as she was when it came to work and worldly measures of success.  They were on the way up the corporate ladder to the penthouse suite when the arrival of a small, helpless human being changed everything.  It was more than sleep deprivation and the weight of being responsible for the safety and well-being of a newborn that made her question all aspects of her life up to that point.  Though she fought against such introspection, she was most distraught over losing her grasp of atheism.

    
Raised as an atheist who made fun of the many Christians around her trying to talk her into accepting Christ as her personal Savior, she was horrified to find herself being drawn to answers that were beyond her understanding and comfort level—ones certainly above her pay-grade.  She became obsessed with reading about Christianity, the Bible, researching as much as she could, and questioning everything along the way. 

    
As you can imagine, there are some very amusing scenarios that factor into Fulwiler’s full-blown existential crisis.  Conversion Diary, the blog she began so she could ask the tough questions about Christianity, morality, ethics, and get responses from people who were willing to answer her questions and concerns on both an intellectual level as well as a spiritual one remains tremendously popular.  What started as a hobby as she was seeking Truth, opened her up to the Catholic faith and a vocation of sharing her journey with others through her humorous writing, harrowing, often humbling tales of motherhood, and her struggle against her tendencies to be a mostly inert introvert.

    
There are a number of people I’ve thought of whom I’d love to have read Something Other than God.  Fulwiler writes in a compelling way that brings to light the many questions she grappled with and the answers she came to over time.  This memoir is an account of how one woman set out to achieve worldly success and how, through the grace of God, she discovered a greater longing, a deeper void, which nothing and no one other than God can fill.  Fulwiler slaved over this memoir while raising several young children, dodging dubious scorpions, inadvertently providing exercise entertainment for her neighbors, and attempting creative ways to corral her children enough to maintain her sanity (most of the time), so the least you can do is buy it, read it, and recommend it to all your friends—atheist or otherwise. 

     
For more information about this book or to order your copy, click here.  To read more about Jennifer Fulwiler's current life events, funny happenings, and daily struggles, check out her blog Conversion Diary.  I received a free copy of this book from Aquinas and More in exchange for an honest review.

Like a Good Neighbor, My Husband is There

I find it tremendously ironic that I was selected to give the Action/Evangelization talk on the Women’s Cursillo Weekend held April 24-27, 2014.  Not only was I on team with a number of people who have a great deal more experience in performing the corporal works of mercy than I do, but I’m also married to someone who is naturally not just a good neighbor to the many people who live in our building, but who is often a very Christ-like one. 

   
He goes above and beyond the usual, signing for a package if someone has asked you to hold it for them until they get back or letting someone know they’ve left their headlights on.  I can’t tell you how many times

he has helped the people who live in our building. 

He’s done work on their vehicles or assisted them with repairs, given individuals who are handicapped rides to the store, taken care of cats while their owners are out of town, provided bags of groceries when people were struggling to put food on the table, helped people network who were looking for a new job, let someone borrow his bicycle for several months so they wouldn’t have to buy one to train for a competition, changed light bulbs and did various other household chores too challenging for those who are elderly and/or have disabilities, reported suspicious activity to the police, listened while people tell them about their day or about their whole life story, provided encouragement and support to those who have been struggling in mind, body, or spirit…

He’s the one who knows everyone’s name and asks them how things are going then actually listens to the response.  We saw one of our neighbors in a wheelchair, and Kevin found out after a few different attempts (because my husband doesn’t speak Spanish) what had happened to him. 

The husband and father of two girls fell 20 feet off of a ladder, breaking both of his ankles.  Kevin noticed that the front tire of their car had been slashed.  It was completely flat and would need to be replaced, so he offered to go and get a new tire and put it on for them.  They agreed to this.  When he went to return the car keys, they wanted to pay him, but he refused any compensation for the new tire or the labor.  We agreed it was a very practical way that we could offer them assistance during a difficult time.

    
Kevin is preparing to give the Laity talk on the upcoming Men’s Cursillo Weekend being held July 24-27, 2014, at Sacred Heart, New Bohemia.  He’s got a number of wonderful descriptions of the roles of laypeople in the Church.  What amuses me is that he hasn’t yet included any of the number of day-to-day things that come naturally to him and count as ways to minister to others.  Isn’t that often the way, though?  The people who are best at doing something are the ones who question their aptitude, downplay their abilities, or doubt the validity of what they have to offer. 

When I see so much everywhere I look that I feel I could or should be doing, it’s refreshing to look at my husband.  He reminds me just by being who he is and where he is he’s glorifying the Lord.      

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 143) Love is Fully Present, Always Miraculous

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Grace is… sharing a meal with another person of faith who serves as such a tremendous inspiration just by being who he/she is that you leave feeling more joyful and hopeful than when you arrived, a full-house for the Charismatic Mass held at a nearby parish, people who never cease to amaze or amuse you, unexpected answers to prayer, the Holy Spirit working in and through people in ways they don’t even begin to realize the significance of at the time…

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All We Have There have been a number of things that have happened over the course of this week during which the Lord has reminded Kevin and I in no uncertain terms that He is ALL we have and that He gives us ALL we need.  For now, suffice it to say that we are blessed to serve an amazing God who has placed some really awesome people in our lives from which we can learn and grow!

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Being Fully Present I had to give my Cursillo talk during team formation last Sunday, and after doing several versions and really stressing over it, I just did it.  I received some really positive feedback and some helpful constructive criticism.  I now know some of what the Lord inspired me to write in one of the versions in my talk that I didn't present to the team is meant to be shared elsewhere, perhaps on my blog, maybe in our memoir, definitely in our daily lives.  

Here’s a taste: Being fully present to others is one of the most important aspects of Apostolic Action.  Check back for a more in-depth look at this concept, as I’ve experienced it in my own life and seen it played out in the lives of others. 

                                                   

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Stuff my husband says: “Sometimes I’m so far beyond irresistible it’s mindboggling, isn’t it?”

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A Lenten Journey I enjoyed reading A Lenten Journey with Jesus Christ and St. Thomas Aquinas with its single serving size insights from St. Thomas Aquinas to go with the Gospel readings for each day of Lent and Holy Week.  Dominican author Fr. Paul Jerome Keller has done a magnificent job of incorporating brief passages from one of the most well-known and widely read members of the Order of Preachers, Thomas Aquinas, into daily meditations that are perfect for the season of Lent.  Fr. Keller has selected poignant passages from Aquinas’s vast works as the precursor to his own short reflections and original prayers written on the Gospel for each day. ..Read more here.

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Preparing for Lent Lord Jesus Christ through prayer, fasting, and almsgiving.  These practices are intended to bring us closer to Jesus not only as we prepare for the upcoming Easter season, but also as we move beyond it and live out our call to apostolic action.  Here is one of my favorite Lenten practices that was definitely the Holy Spirit inspiring my husband.

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40 Days for Life The Lord has repeatedly asked His servants to devote time to prayer, fasting, and almsgiving in preparation for a huge mission He intends to give them. Would you like to know what part of your mission is over the next 40 days?  Watch this video.  It’s under 5 minutes long and is about miracles.  

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.  

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 141) A Day Late, Some Screws Loose, and A Dollar Short

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Grace is… a cup of hot chocolate on a cold winter’s night, being reminded that some of the kids you took care of ten or more years ago are growing up to be really neat people, seeing cute pics of kids playing in the snow all bundled up, hanging out with my sister and nephew one afternoon, an hour of Adoration before the Blessed Sacrament…

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Snowmageddon 2014 Kevin and I have occasionally had a few moments of enjoying snow days.  My husband has a more legitimate than usual reason for watching several hours of The Weather Channel.  It's kind of cool to watch the Winter Olympics with snow falling in the background (out your window) while you're sitting warm inside drinking hot chocolate in the cute matching mugs your mom got your for Christmas a while ago.

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Another Snow Day Home with the Kids If you’re dreading another late school opening or snow day home with the kids, then I think you will appreciate this video. 

     I think my mom was one of the few parents who actually enjoyed having us home from school on snow days—at least most of the time.  She’d make chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast.  We’d play in the snow and, if possible, go sledding.  We’d have fun doing arts and crafts, watching movies, reading books...

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Stuff my husband says: I am a voracious reader, and Kevin prefers magazines to books and isn’t much into reading as an obsession or even a hobby.  A while back, I was reading some of the books by Christian preacher Joel Osteen.  Kevin came up with a great alternative title for one of his books: How to Become a Better Ewe (as opposed to a better you).  I know some of his jokes are pretty baaaaad, but at least he tries. Now I laugh anytime I see something by Joel Osteen thinking of what would actually be a fun title for a book about Christian living.  I know I could stand to learn how to be a better sheep.

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Valentine’s Day Yeah, so this post is a day late, because Kevin and I have been having a pretty awful week, few months...  Multiple things going wrong all at once, and the hits just keep on coming.  I was in such an awful mood yesterday and was so overwhelmed by all of the different things we’re dealing with that I simply couldn’t sit around here any longer. 

     The needle that pierced the camel’s eye (how’s that for a mixed metaphor) was that before 3pm on Friday our kitchen cabinets had to be completely emptied, because our ceiling was leaking again, though they’ve just put a new roof on our building.  I got up on the counter to find out exactly where the water was coming from to discover it’s running right down the wall behind our cupboards. 

     That’s not all.  Oh no, that’s not all!  Our kitchen cupboards which we have been concerned about possibly falling are very, very likely to do so sooner than later since there are several screws not just loose, but no longer touching the wall that should be holding them up.  So yes, a few screws loose was part of the problem, but not everything.

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It Could Be Worse I went to Mass at St. Benedict’s by myself, then went to our parish to wait for my friend who I thought was having a prayer meeting at church which finished at 8pm.  I parked by the Columbarium where my dad’s remains have been interred and ended up sobbing for a while alone in my car on a cold wet night.
     My friend, who’s usually very dependable, never called me back, so I eventually left and went to Martin’s, the one where I used to take my dad shopping when he was too sick to do it on his own and later when he was too sick to go to the store at all.  Of course, this brought back more memories. 
     I wandered around aimlessly, noticed they didn’t have any soup in the prepared foods section, and that’s what I’d really been hoping for.  I bought 3 boxes of Puffs tissues, because I’d used up the box and the extra napkins in my car while sitting and crying outside of church, then I got some fruit and a cup of Krispy Kreme chocolate donut holes which I ate in my car. 
     Next, I decided to swing by my mom’s and see if I could come by for a cup of tea.  She didn’t respond when I texted her, and I knew she was home, so I thought maybe she didn’t want company.  No, that wasn't it.  It turns out she didn’t get my texts because she was on the phone with a friend, so she didn’t see them until after I'd left.
     I ended up going to Denny’s since they’re open all night, and it was one of the places my dad and I went for breakfast way back when.  I sat in a corner booth facing the window, and that’s where I was for the next few hours: just me, a root beer, water, an English muffin, and some hash browns with a pen and my journal. (I know many mommy bloggers reading this are likely jealous that I got time away and could spend it alone writing, but under the circumstances, it was not the best of times).  I texted Kevin to let him know I was there and invited him to join me.  He said he had a headache and was going to bed.  There's more, but that's enough for now.
     The sad thing about yesterday is that I can’t honestly say it was the absolute worst Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had.  There have been others that in the grand scheme of things were far worse for our family as a whole.

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Prayers Pul-lease! This has been a very rough week, actually it’s been a rough several months for both of us.  Many of the things we’ve been dealing with have not been resolved and/or fixed, yet, so we could definitely use some extra prayers right now.  The leaking kitchen ceiling and cabinets about to fall down are actually the least of our worries at this point, but they’re certainly the easiest to mention as an example of stuff going down.    

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 137) The End of an Era, the Joy of a New Day

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Grace is…a husband who goes to defrost, scrape, and brush off your car on a morning when he doesn’t have to be up and out early, the unmistakable joy of being in the presence of someone you love, big fat snowflakes, the awe of children at nature’s beauty and complexity, a community of Christian women that praises God with its faith, friendship, love, and laughter, reading favorite children’s picture books repeatedly to little ones inclined to curl up on your lap, listening intently and attentively, enjoying the irony of it all, treasured memories…         

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A Beautiful Song My youngest sister posted this uplifting song on her Facebook wall this morning and I must agree that this India Arie song does make for a nice start or finish: 

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Riverdancing on the Roof This morning I awoke to what sounds for all intents and purposes as if there are people riverdancing on the roof of our building.  It’s sunny and cold without a cloud in the sky, so I knew it wasn’t rain or a storm.  The pounding and banging isn’t quite rhythmic enough or melodious enough to be pleasant or entertaining.  The cacophony is mostly making me want to flee the premises. 
     I usually do morning prayer and the daily readings from the Magnificat.  I was highly amused when I got to the Gospel according to Mark 2:1-12.  “They came bringing him a paralytic carried by four men.  Unable to get near Jesus because of the crowd, they opened up the roof above him.  After they had broken through, they let down the mat on which the paralytic was lying.”
     Kevin and I both have questioned the structural integrity of this building, so we’re only sort of joking when we had a discussion about someone falling through the roof into our apartment.    

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Stuff my husband says: Not too long ago, after seeing a commercial in which a man is running on a treadmill in his front yard to create the power to light up all of the Christmas decorations on his house, Kevin suggested that it would be great if there was such a contraption as a treadmill that you could use to power the washer and dryer.  I shook my head sadly and reminded him that we live one the third floor of an apartment building with a laundry room in the basement.  If you take the four flights of stairs down and back up each time you put clothes in the washer, transfer them to the dryer, and retrieve them again, then it has pretty much the same effect.   

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No Longer the Nanny Yesterday was my last day nannying for three silly sisters.  We had a fun day which included watching the snow fall in big flakes during the morning.  Kevin came to visit and got some pictures of me with the girls since all of us were looking pretty in pink.    

     Honestly, I haven’t cried at all, yet.  It hasn’t hit me.  I’m hoping that when it does it will be a gentler, softer grieving period this go-round, made even lighter because we’re still close friends/like family and are welcome to visit whenever.

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Keepin’ It Real The only tried and true March for Babies and Mothers that actually respects life from the moment of conception:

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Inspiring Words This is the most joy-filled, inspiring, faithful call to evangelization I’ve read recently.  Each time I sat down to read some more, I was blown away that it kept getting better and better.  Watch out for those who roll with the Holy Spirit!

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.  

Favorite Books Read & Reviewed in 2013

Spiritual Non-fiction

God’s Bucket List*

Fresh Bread and Other Gifts of Spiritual Nourishment

A Mary Christmas 

Walking with Mary: A Journey from Nazareth to the Cross*

My Sisters the Saints*

 *Indicates a book review that was included as part of a Virtual Blog Tour 

Great Books on Faith, Marriage, Parenting, & Family Life

Pope Awesome and Other Stories 

Yes, God! 


Man to Man: Dad to Dad 

Fabulous Catholic Fiction Series

American Tragedy in Trilogy: 

Fatherless (Book 1)

Motherless (Book 2)

Childless (Book 3) 

I read and enjoyed all three, but I have only written and posted my review of the first one, thus far.  The other links are to purchase the books on Amazon rather than to reviews I've written.

Young Adult novels John Paul 2 High Series:

Catholic Reluctantly Book 1

Trespasses Against Us Book 2

Summer of My Dissent Book 3

Undercover Papist Book 4

I have read all four published books in the series, and I've even gotten to help out with and read a bit of still- to-be-published Book 5.  I have only posted my reviews of the first two books, but all four are really good reads.      

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 128) about inspiration, making a difference, and persevering

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Grace is…believing you’re loved even when you can’t feel it, knowing that living out our vocations requires ongoing discernment and sacrifice, people recognizing and affirming those who have spent time away from the workplace to take care of family and friends at home, the acknowledgement of anyone that raising a family is the most challenging and important job there is for married couples and parents, learning about inspiring people who use their talents to serve others, being able to pray for and with others…

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What’s a Life Worth? Late last night, I finished reading the amazing Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder.  The book is about a remarkable man, Dr. Paul Farmer, whose passion for treating people in poverty (starting with those he served in Haiti) with the utmost dignity, respect, and the best medical technologies available literally impacted and dramatically improved treatment of infectious diseases such as tuberculosis and HIV/AIDS in poor countries around the world. 

     "...the idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that's wrong with the world" is the essence of Dr. Paul Farmer’s philosophy.  I know a book is very well-written when, though it’s about a topic as depressing as rampant illness affecting the poorest of the poor, I’m left feeling hopeful, inspired, and completely in awe of what happens when one man insists and believes that every life is of incalculable value; every person is worth treating; and every individual deserves the best we have to give, whatever the cost to ourselves or others.  

.   God did it again.  I was led to read this book at the perfect time. The pastor of our church and a group of parishioners are on yet another mission trip in Haiti this week, visiting our twin parish in Dos Palais, which is supposed to be opening a medical clinic soon.  

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Noisy Toys After a three day weekend, suddenly a vast number of battery-operated 'noisy toys' no longer make sounds. When Sunshine told me all of the batteries just ran down, I rolled with it, and told her if they were taken out and not replaced it must have been for a good reason.  My guess is that their parents, like any adults who have a reasonable amount of sanity somewhere on their top ten list of most important attributes of a caregiver, can only take but so much of Rock'n'Roll Elmo, an endless loop of "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider," and toys that add more sound effects that make it seem like their children are actually being raised in a barn. 

     I recall quite clearly a few toys that the boys loved to play with that would “disappear” at random intervals when I deemed my sanity more important than their need to press the fire engine’s siren another bazillion times.  I found it particularly taxing when the battery was about to run out on the sea-themed exersaucer activity center.  One of the boys picked up on how much it annoyed me to hear a painfully slow, scratchy version of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” that was the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard for me.  Kid was smart.  When he was upset with me for failing to concede in any way, shape, or form that only the exersaucer, not the entire universe revolved around him, he would purposely press the star and watch me cringe.  
     You will never convince me that kids aren’t clever enough to torture their parents and caregivers on purpose from a surprisingly young age. I know better.

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Calling for Back-up The other day was a 3+ time-outs, not enough sleep (them or me), and call for at least one of our favorite visitors kind of nannying day.  I feared that after five hours of feeding, cleaning up after, playing with, and refereeing three young girls in a limited space I was likely to run completely out of energy and patience sometime in the remaining four and a half hours before their mom would get home from work. 

Cuties with Contraband

     I’m sure it would have helped somewhat for at least a while if we could have gotten outside, but it’s been a couple weeks since I have been able to locate shoes that fit two of them (over socks) which I consider mandatory, not optional when playing outside, especially when the temperature is under 70.  I also hesitate to do much outdoors when the oldest is racking up time-outs, because I can’t trust that we’d get too far on a walk or other outdoor activity before a total and complete meltdown would make it necessary for me to get all three of them inside.        
     Fortunately, Kevin came over late that afternoon in case there was a repeat after naps (theirs, not mine) of I-want-whatever-you’re-playing-with-when-you’re-playing-with-it-and-I’m-going-to-grab-it-from-you-and-knock-you-over-to-get-it Advanced Pre-school Aerobics/Kung Fu Class. 
     The girls only napped for an hour, so it was even more vital that I had back-up on the way.  Kevin and I had the girls running, playing, giggling, and in much better moods than any of us were in that morning. Thank God Almighty for the gift of my husband, and I do!  To read about more of my adventures as a nanny, check out posts from My Nanny Diary.

    

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JAM Session Highlights Our parish has a really great, very successful ecumenical Job Assistance Ministry (JAM) which has helped hundreds of people in our area find employment.  Kevin’s been going to the meetings regularly as he searches for a new job.  The numerous professionals and business people involved offer a wide variety of career services for free that other recruiters and job search agencies charge hundreds of dollars to do.  Check out the ministry website, activities, and successes here. 

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My Guy Gets It This past Wednesday at JAM, the speaker was swamped with questions after his
presentation, so Kevin took it upon himself to approach a woman wondering what to put on her resume since he has spent several hours working, revising, and rewriting his with the recent tips, tricks, and trends he’s learned.  Kevin’s a friendly, helpful guy, so this gesture didn’t surprise me.  What I was really excited to hear is that he reassured this woman, who has gone 17 years without a paying job, that raising a family is the hardest and most important job anyone can do and made it abundantly clear to her that she must have a number of marketable skills from such a feat that will translate into the work world.  While they were talking, another woman came up who’s been out of the workforce for 21 years raising her family.  I am beyond grateful that my husband gets what so many men and women don’t: there’s nothing more challenging or more essential than raising a family, and those who devote their time and energy to that are generally hardworking, very talented individuals who deserve respect. 
    

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Hope and Help for the Philippines This is a very good article on what has happened in the Philippines and what is being done to help the many victims of Super Typhoon Haiyan.  There are links in the article of what organizations are already in place to help and how you can donate to the effort.    

     Lord, please open our hearts and minds to do and be what you need us to in order to alleviate the suffering that is taking place in the Philippines right now. 

                  

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

God's Bucket List: Heaven's Surefire Way to Happiness in This Life and Beyond

God has a sense of humor.  I’m sure of it, and He likes to remind me of that frequently along with the facts that His timing is better than mine and His thoughts are far greater than mine, and so on and so forth.

Again only the Holy Spirit could have orchestrated when and how I’d come to read a book called God’s Bucket List: Heaven’s Surefire Way to Happiness in This Life and Beyond.  All of this review/reflection I wrote on my most recent birthday.  I haven’t looked forward to my birthday in a while to be perfectly honest, which is one of the many reasons why I found it fitting that I finished reading this book and thought about my bucket list versus God’s over the years.

I was really looking forward to turning 18 way back when, not so much because I’d be a legal adult, get to vote, and all that, but mainly because my mom had decided that was the magic age when I could decide for myself if I wanted to be best friends with Kevin or officially start dating him.  I wanted it all, so that’s what I got.

The idea that we’re best off determining how and with whom we spend our time, energy, talents, and treasure by putting God first in our lives makes sense to me.  I do find it far more difficult to live out when the daily grind turns out a little bitter and isn’t the least bit refined.

In God’s Bucket List, popular EWTN TV and radio personality Teresa Tomeo shares some of the major upsets in her career as a high-profile secular journalist.  What at the time was a devastating blow to her ego, helped ultimately save her marriage, reignite her faith, and give her a clearer purpose in life.

My husband’s been out of work since Labor Day, and we have a lot of decisions to make and things to discern right now, so being reminded that God “works all things for good for those who love Him” is a reassurance we’ve needed these past couple months. 

As the title suggests, Tomeo was inspired by the Bucket List film to write a book outlining eight themes to help you in discerning and carrying out what God would most like you to accomplish before you die.  This concept resonates deeply with me since it is one that shows that God’s way is the best way, though rarely the easiest way, and His Will is the best goal to have.

Since I’ve kept all of my regular journals and prayer journals from over the years I suppose I could eventually find the first entry where God inspired me to write and pray these prayers: “You, Lord, are ALL I have, and You give me ALL I need.  My future is in Your Hands.  Lord, I pray for Your Will.” And  another favorite: “Lord, plant Your Will in my heart and make it my deepest desire and most fervent longing.”

I felt this way long before meeting Kevin, which has made for some really major conflicts between us.  Item number one that is on God’s Bucket List for me is to put Him first, before everyone and everything else in my life.  I believe that’s likely the first item on God’s Bucket List for each of us, though, the way He calls us to live out that vocation can vary greatly from one person to the next.

Trouble was, when Kevin and I fell in love, he wanted to be first on my list and made me first on his, but I wanted, through the grace and inspiration of the Holy Spirit, to keep that #1 spot for God.  That’s not to say I’ve ever been successful in keeping the Lord at the center of my life and at the top of all of my lists.

Kevin had long since fallen away from the Catholic faith in which he was raised by the time we met when I was sixteen.  For many years (and often even now), he can’t for the life of him figure out my relationship with the Lord.  When we were just friends, it didn’t seem to matter as much, but once we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend, we were both uncomfortable with his lack of faith and misconceptions of the Catholic Church.

This conflict and a myriad of others brought me to my knees in prayer, trying to determine the answer to a question beautifully phrased by St. Teresa of Avila in a poem she wrote called “In the Hands of God.”  The question she asks repeatedly in the poem is: “What do You want of me?”  For a time, I was seriously discerning a call to the consecrated religious life, though I’d already fallen in love with Kevin.

That proved to be one of the times when I chose God’s Bucket List, whatever it contained for me, rather than my own numeration of goals far less important in the grand scheme of things in time and eternity.

I am still in the process of discerning aspects of everything that is on God’s Bucket List for me, and that will likely always be the case in this life, but I’ve been able to identify some of what’s on His List.  I’ve embraced the vocations He’s already revealed are mine, and I try to live out those to the fullest while remaining hopeful that some additional ones will be added in the future.

One item I believe is on God’s Bucket List for me has to do with sharing the unusual, often hilarious, at times nearly unbelievable story of how God brought two very different people together and kept them together against the odds.  I have been working on our spiritual memoir for a while, and both Kevin and I have felt another nudge from God recently to keep writing the parts of our story leading up to our wedding.

I’m awaiting further specific instructions from the Lord about the timing of finishing this particular writing project and all aspects of the endeavor involving finding the right agent, editor, publishing company and team.  If you are feeling inspired to be part of this effort, like reading and giving people brutally honest feedback, and/or enjoy a good true story, please let me know immediately.  God already knows that I can use all the help I can get!

I highly recommend reading God’s Bucket List and using it as the jumping off point for discerning what He wants you to have in your bucket.  For more information or to order your own copy of this book, click here.  I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.  

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 123)

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Grace is…faith enough to turn to God in the midst of unsettling doubts; the power of prayer—however simple however desperate; a husband who is supportive and loving; a Heavenly Father who knows our deepest, darkest secrets, our worst sins, and not only loves us, but pursues us even when we struggle to accept His unconditional love; unsolicited kisses from little ones, snuggle time with my adorable nephew, an opportunity to do something helpful for my sister, a phone call from a friend thanking me for a letter I sent to her in 2008 that she keeps out and rereads often that I know could only have struck a chord if the essence of it came from the Lord…

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Alleluia! Sunshine made me smile and got me singing today. I read the daily Mass readings out loud from my Magnificat magazine, and after the Gospel I said: "Praise to You, Lord Jesus Christ." To which she immediately responded by singing "Alleluia!" This is just one more reason why it is awesome to have young children at Mass (something her parents do with them every Sunday)!  Kevin and I are two of the twins’ Godparents, so we often go to the same Mass and save a row for the crew.  

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Jonah & Veggie Tales Kevin and I watched Jonah the Veggie Tales full-length movie this week, because it's hilarious and the Mass readings have been about Jonah, so it all ties in. I'm grateful for a husband who understands that I'm often ready to collapse by the time I get home after feeding, chasing, changing, cleaning up, reading to, singing and dancing with, entertaining, disciplining, hugging, kissing, drying tears, laughing lots…with three silly sisters.

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The Muffin Girl After singing "Do You Know the Muffin Man?" a bazillion times and coming up with a fun "Do You Know the Muffin Girl?" rendition that was site specific, I made chocolate chip muffins Wednesday evening with the intent to share some with the girls the next day and sing the song a bunch more times (of course). Sunshine used white Play-doh and made a big muffin to share with all of us. I was eating baby carrots at the time, and she asked for one.  She ended up using it as a candle on the muffin.  When it was time to put Play-doh away, I went digging through the container to see if she’d stuck the carrot in there as well.  I couldn’t find it, so I asked her what happened to it.  She’d eaten it. 

     The “intent to share some” had a whole lot more to do with me remembering to bring the muffins with me in the morning than they had anything to do with me polishing off a dozen.  Sunshine loved the muffins, and asked for more every time she was hungry. 

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Dr. Seuss’s Mr. Brown Can Moo! This was one of Sunshine’s favorite board books, and now it has become one of her sisters.  All three girls know that I love books, and that pretty much any time they come up to me with a book that I’ll read it to them, not once but as many times as they want and/or I can stand in one sitting.  I had to laugh when Sunshine got sick of hearing me read her sisters the book over and over again that she said that was enough.  

     I told her that I read the same book to her over and over again when she was that age (just as I’ve done with many other children, starting with my youngest sister).  It does help that I love books and adore reading, and also that I’ve read and learned quite a bit about child development over the years, so I know more of the things that they’re learning and what’s going on in terms of connections in their brains that are much more significant than just learning what animals make what sounds—which, don’t get me wrong is both a fun and entertaining part of childhood.

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Nephew in the Nursery Today I had the pleasure of taking care of my nephew for a bit.  He has a Montessori-style room—mattress on the floor and padding around, but even after seeing recent pictures of him getting around in his bedroom, I was still surprised and amazed when I went up to check on him during his nap.  The baby monitor was turned up, but they have a couple sound machines in the nursery, and I only heard a little noise, so I went to check on him, thinking he was still asleep because I hadn’t heard a peep out of him.      
     Okay, it’s not surprising to me that a child who can roam safely around their room does so even while sleeping; what gets me is that the boy is only 7 months old, is so big, chubby, and long that he’s already rocking 24 mos. clothes, and though he was wearing a baby sleep sack at the time, he made it halfway across the room, was pushing up on his hands, and looking up at me with his bright-eyes when I peeked in.  Somehow seeing the photos just didn’t prepare me for this experience in real life.       
    

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Cute Much? Kevin’s been coming to visit me and the girls in between searching for a new job and a bunch of doctor appointments.  Sunshine cheers when I tell her he’s coming.  One of the twins shrieks as soon as he walks in the door she’s so excited, and the other one has been crawling up on his lap whenever she gets the chance.

     Kevin gave each of the girls a kiss before I took them up for their naptime.  I usually tuck Sunshine in and pray the bedtime prayer my mom and sister made up with her, then give her a kiss whenever I put her to bed.  I tucked her in, prayed the prayer (which she often says with me because she knows it by heart), I went to give her a kiss, but she shakes her head.  

     “Kevin already gave me a kiss,” she said.

     “So does that mean you don’t want/need one from me?” I asked.

     She nodded.

     I smiled and blew her a kiss as I went out the door, the little skunk. 

        

                  

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 121)

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Grace is…the patience needed to take care of others when severely deprived of sleep, the inspiration to offer up your struggles united with Christ’s on the Cross for those who are suffering in mind, body, and/or spirit, soaking up the precious moments when all three kids are playing together, laughing, and giggling, a loved one who you’ve had on your mind a lot calling you out-of-the-blue…

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Worldwide Marriage Encounter (WWME) was a wonderful experience for Kevin and me.  It gave us the opportunity to get away from the daily grind and really focus on one another and our vocation of marriage in a way that nothing else has—even vacations!  I invite you to consider and pray about attending this powerful retreat designed to strengthen the vocation to marriage or the priesthood.  Without much time to devote to just the two of you as a couple, this is a great opportunity for strengthening your marriage, rekindling your faith, and giving you the tools and energy to continue being a loving couple and great parents.  To learn more or to find a WWME in your area, click here.

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This Is How We Do It! I couldn’t agree more with the Applebaum Training Institute FB post today: “Children must learn to be responsible to succeed in life. If they get everything they want, whenever they want it, they don't learn the joy of earning it, & think everything will always be handed to them on a silver platter.” 

     I find this to be so very true! One of the great things I've learned from working at a Montessori school is how many things children are able to do if shown how, given the tools they need, and held responsible for the things they are reasonably expected and able to do on their own from a very young age.

           

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Make Jesus Happy Here’s a great article about how the mother of a beautiful child who happens to have Down Syndrome entices her daughter to go to Mass caught my eye.  What a great way for us to think of how and why we do what we do to love and serve God.  I can’t think of a better, more simplistic way of explaining why we gather to break open the Word and share the Eucharist.  If you enjoy this story and this woman’s writing, you will love the Lily Trilogy she has written.  Check out my reviews of the books here: Until Lily, Wherever Lily Goes, and Life Entwined with Lily's.

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Life-giving Choices This is a message from a woman who took great joy in having each one of her children and strongly believes that women deserve better than what society offers as a solution for unplanned pregnancies: “Last night, several were blessed to attend the fundraising gala for the new East End Pregnancy Test and Help Centerin Richmond. The organizers of the evening were so inspirational! But the news that they bring is serious. In the 23223 area code where the new Center is located, the abortion rate is over 60%. Yes, this is very serious. The pastors who attended are sure that their congregations are being targeted for abortion. Please pray for all those who have opened their doors and who are working to assist the families most vulnerable to abortion in our communities, the Pregnancy Resource Center, Catholic Charities, and now the East End Pregnancy Test and Help Center.” –Ann Niermeyer (aka my mom & Richmond, VA 40 Days for Life leader.)

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Manipulated Again Kevin had a shoulder procedure, a “manipulation” is what they call it, on Wednesday of this week.  When they did his left shoulder many moons ago, he neglected to read all of the paperwork, so he ate a banana that morning and had a cup of coffee in the waiting room, so they numbed his arm, waited a bit and did the whole thing with him completely awake and lucid, with me standing there watching and listening, before taking him back over to the house where I was taking care of “my little guys” for the rest of my work day.
     At least we learned from some of our mistakes, but not all.  This time I had an entertaining book to read and took the entire day off of nannying, but we ended up sitting in the waiting room the from before 11am to after 5pm, because this time Kevin ate on purpose the morning of (though instructed to fast from midnight on) in an attempt to keep them from putting him under as well as keep his blood sugar from dropping dangerously low.  Worked last time.  Why not do it that way again?  Didn’t happen, but the procedure went well.  Kevin’s recovery and pain management has gone far smoother than last time.  Thanks to all who kept us in prayer!

    

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A Hilarious Parody & Video by Weird Al Yankovic

                  

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.