7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 141) A Day Late, Some Screws Loose, and A Dollar Short

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Grace is… a cup of hot chocolate on a cold winter’s night, being reminded that some of the kids you took care of ten or more years ago are growing up to be really neat people, seeing cute pics of kids playing in the snow all bundled up, hanging out with my sister and nephew one afternoon, an hour of Adoration before the Blessed Sacrament…

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Snowmageddon 2014 Kevin and I have occasionally had a few moments of enjoying snow days.  My husband has a more legitimate than usual reason for watching several hours of The Weather Channel.  It's kind of cool to watch the Winter Olympics with snow falling in the background (out your window) while you're sitting warm inside drinking hot chocolate in the cute matching mugs your mom got your for Christmas a while ago.

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Another Snow Day Home with the Kids If you’re dreading another late school opening or snow day home with the kids, then I think you will appreciate this video. 

     I think my mom was one of the few parents who actually enjoyed having us home from school on snow days—at least most of the time.  She’d make chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast.  We’d play in the snow and, if possible, go sledding.  We’d have fun doing arts and crafts, watching movies, reading books...

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Stuff my husband says: I am a voracious reader, and Kevin prefers magazines to books and isn’t much into reading as an obsession or even a hobby.  A while back, I was reading some of the books by Christian preacher Joel Osteen.  Kevin came up with a great alternative title for one of his books: How to Become a Better Ewe (as opposed to a better you).  I know some of his jokes are pretty baaaaad, but at least he tries. Now I laugh anytime I see something by Joel Osteen thinking of what would actually be a fun title for a book about Christian living.  I know I could stand to learn how to be a better sheep.

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Valentine’s Day Yeah, so this post is a day late, because Kevin and I have been having a pretty awful week, few months...  Multiple things going wrong all at once, and the hits just keep on coming.  I was in such an awful mood yesterday and was so overwhelmed by all of the different things we’re dealing with that I simply couldn’t sit around here any longer. 

     The needle that pierced the camel’s eye (how’s that for a mixed metaphor) was that before 3pm on Friday our kitchen cabinets had to be completely emptied, because our ceiling was leaking again, though they’ve just put a new roof on our building.  I got up on the counter to find out exactly where the water was coming from to discover it’s running right down the wall behind our cupboards. 

     That’s not all.  Oh no, that’s not all!  Our kitchen cupboards which we have been concerned about possibly falling are very, very likely to do so sooner than later since there are several screws not just loose, but no longer touching the wall that should be holding them up.  So yes, a few screws loose was part of the problem, but not everything.

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It Could Be Worse I went to Mass at St. Benedict’s by myself, then went to our parish to wait for my friend who I thought was having a prayer meeting at church which finished at 8pm.  I parked by the Columbarium where my dad’s remains have been interred and ended up sobbing for a while alone in my car on a cold wet night.
     My friend, who’s usually very dependable, never called me back, so I eventually left and went to Martin’s, the one where I used to take my dad shopping when he was too sick to do it on his own and later when he was too sick to go to the store at all.  Of course, this brought back more memories. 
     I wandered around aimlessly, noticed they didn’t have any soup in the prepared foods section, and that’s what I’d really been hoping for.  I bought 3 boxes of Puffs tissues, because I’d used up the box and the extra napkins in my car while sitting and crying outside of church, then I got some fruit and a cup of Krispy Kreme chocolate donut holes which I ate in my car. 
     Next, I decided to swing by my mom’s and see if I could come by for a cup of tea.  She didn’t respond when I texted her, and I knew she was home, so I thought maybe she didn’t want company.  No, that wasn't it.  It turns out she didn’t get my texts because she was on the phone with a friend, so she didn’t see them until after I'd left.
     I ended up going to Denny’s since they’re open all night, and it was one of the places my dad and I went for breakfast way back when.  I sat in a corner booth facing the window, and that’s where I was for the next few hours: just me, a root beer, water, an English muffin, and some hash browns with a pen and my journal. (I know many mommy bloggers reading this are likely jealous that I got time away and could spend it alone writing, but under the circumstances, it was not the best of times).  I texted Kevin to let him know I was there and invited him to join me.  He said he had a headache and was going to bed.  There's more, but that's enough for now.
     The sad thing about yesterday is that I can’t honestly say it was the absolute worst Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had.  There have been others that in the grand scheme of things were far worse for our family as a whole.

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Prayers Pul-lease! This has been a very rough week, actually it’s been a rough several months for both of us.  Many of the things we’ve been dealing with have not been resolved and/or fixed, yet, so we could definitely use some extra prayers right now.  The leaking kitchen ceiling and cabinets about to fall down are actually the least of our worries at this point, but they’re certainly the easiest to mention as an example of stuff going down.    

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

A Letter to Parents (My Nanny Diary)

Dear Mom and Dad,

If you think that no one other than the two of you will ever love your child and care for him as much as you do, except for God, you’re probably right.  Your child will always have a very special bond with you two, and your love is deeper, wider, and stronger for him than other people’s, and that isn’t likely to change, nor should it. 

From what I’ve read, heard, and observed, it’s perfectly normal to wonder if a child would be just as trusting, content, and relaxed to have pretty much anyone feed, burp, change, wash, clothe, hold, play with, read to, supervise, entertain…him.  The truth is their sense of trust, security, and love comes initially from the two of you.  Even when you are five kinds of tired and doing things only other parents or caregivers as sleep-deprived as you are would come up with, your child knows you love him, will take care of his basic needs, and not give up on him no matter how difficult he can be at times

The Lord chose you out of all of eternity to take care of this little one in body, mind, and soul.  The connection between parents and their children is much stronger than many realize.  I’ve had a number of parents, both mothers and fathers, make comments to me that indicate they feel their child is some sort of “traitor” when he warms up to me and seems comfortable with me taking care of him.  Actually “traitor” was the exact word one mother used when she came home on her lunch break the first day her son was in my care to check in and make sure everything was going well.  He was perfectly content, and she felt a little slighted as well as relieved and grateful.    

Another important aspect of life that children learn from very early on is that Mom and Dad show them who they can trust.  Part of your responsibility is to ensure that your child is always in reliable, competent care when one or both of you aren’t present.  You are your child’s most important, influential, and trusted teachers.  That’s not to say your child won’t challenge you frequently, but he knows that the bottom-line is that you’re the one who will appear in the middle of the night when he’s thirsty, hungry, teething, cold, having a nightmare...     

 

I don’t know what it feels like from your perspective to have a child you have sacrificed everything for run up and give someone not even related to you hugs and kisses, but I imagine it would make me feel envious and wonder where I rate if I were in your position.  If ever you feel a twinge of sadness, jealousy, or regret when your child runs up to someone else, remember that your child is able to love because God and the two of you loved him first and taught him how to trust by being trustworthy.    

The best performance review I’ve ever received from a parent is that they can tell I love their child “almost as much as they do.”  When one father said that, I knew he could understand how I feel and where I'm coming from.  Though I have loved each child for whom I have nannied as much as I possibly feel I am capable of love, I know that their parents love them even more, and I rejoice that’s the case. 

You’re right in thinking you’ll never find a babysitter or caregiver who loves your child as much as you do.  However, it is quite possible and very probable, that with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, you will find someone who really loves and adores your child and will give him the best care they know how while you two are at work.  It may mean searching a bit harder, interviewing more candidates, and/or training someone who has the potential to be a good fit, but it can be done.  It is possible to find quality child care you can trust and depend on to love and keep up with your little one. 

 

People have billions of ideas about what’s best for kids, but what they need most is to feel loved, safe, and have their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs met.  God always intends for there to be people in addition to the mother and father to love a child, care for and about him, and lend support and encouragement.  They aren’t kidding about it taking a village to raise a child.  Don’t be afraid of letting other people love your child dearly.  When it comes to the top spots in the child’s heart, you’ve got them.  Just like it says in Mary Poppins once she’s interviewed, “The position has been filled.” 

No matter what child care situation you discern is right for your family, your child will always have the strongest bond with the two of you, his mom and dad.

Sincerely,

Your Nanny

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 115)

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A Montessori Mindset One of the kids at school fell on the way to carpool and got scraped knees.  After tending to the booboos, I was asked a question that I believe to be clearly indicative of this young person’s Montessori education: “What kind of wood do you think those steps were made out of that I fell down?  Are they made of oak?”  Wow!  That was the last thing I expected to hear post scraped knee experience.  The knowledge and questions of children, in general, tends to amaze and amuse me. 

 

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The Loss of Loved Ones Last Saturday Kevin and I went to Mass, prayed the Rosary before the statue of Mary in the garden at Little Sisters of the Poor where he and I have gone and sat together since I was in high school. I went to Reconciliation, then spent some time praying at St. Michael's grotto. Someone had stolen the matches and scattered all the envelopes, so I couldn't even light a candle for my dad. He knows I've been thinking of him a lot lately.
     Lord, I give you this day and all of the prayers and tears mixed together in it, to be used as You wish for the salvation of souls in time and eternity. Amen.

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You Got Mail! This weekend, I figured out how I’m going to display some cards Kevin and I sent each other over the years in a collage so they can be opened and read while hanging up.

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Empty Nest Errs It feels a bit strange going to St. Benedict’s for daily Mass now, knowing that the two people Kevin and I most often attended Mass with at that church have moved to new places as they continue on their faith and vocation journeys.  I won’t hear from Michele until Christmas and that’s if she feels like sending me a letter.  Fortunately, we keep in touch pretty much daily with John in one way or another, even though he’s been on summer assignment in Hampton, Virginia, and is heading back to St. Mary’s Seminary in Baltimore very soon for his second year of seminary.  

     
Kevin and I have felt in a sense like we’ve had two leave the nest over the past year.  What’s funny is that this summer, we’ve started actually decorating our place a bit.  We now have our dining area devoted to a Rochester, Lake Ontario, beginning of Kevin and me becoming friends and dating theme...Read the rest of this reflection here.   

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Gelati Celesti Kevin and I have been enjoying using our St. Michael's Scrip for Gelati Celesti (and the other bazillion places they have available.  

  

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Step Up Yes, I know I'm silly, but now we have all four of the Step Up movies.  Some of the acting is corny at best, and the stories are very predictable, but I'm really inspired by dance, and Kevin loves it, too, so we've had fun watching the movies and the making of the movies and the choreography.  You can make fun of us if you like, but then you better bring it!  
    

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But I'm on Vacation! For the first time this summer, Kevin and I are both officially on vacation.       

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 114)

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On that farm, he had a…I’ve been the lead teacher at school for a Nature Camp held for students who are between the ages of 2-6 this week.  We did a number of fun activities including: singing various songs such as “Old MacDonald Had a Farm,” reading some educational books, making a mobile from a branch, twine, wooden beads, and shells, using little bits of scrap paper and Modge Podge to decorate wooden frog shapes to which we added googly eyes on the front and a magnet on the back, taking a walk during which we collected items from nature that are no longer living in our paper lunch bags.  (Don’t worry.  That’s not where our lunches were.)  It was nice to be back at school with lots of kids and some really amazing adults.  Here’s a video clip involving Old MacDonald which Kevin told me about that made me laugh:

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Is It Really Love? The lyrics of a French song I really like “Savoir Aimer” by Florent Pagny have been going through my head lately when I think about what genuine love is.  True love gives without wanting or asking for anything in return, even the hope of being loved.  There are no strings attached or conditions that need to be met in order for the giver to give love freely.  It’s just there.  No matter what.  It’s patient, steadfast, persistent, and doesn’t diminish or run out.  If it is even within my capability to give others such self-effacing, sacrificial love as this, it is only because this is the love the Lord gives to me, to each one of us every day.

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Still a Bit Surreal Kevin and I have now gone out twice on his motorcycle.  Here’s photographic proof that I’ve been on the bike:

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God’s Still Working Miracles Read this miraculous true story by USA TODAY’s Madeline Eversley about how a priest no one has been able to identify interceded on behalf of  a 19 year old girl in a tragic car accident no one thought she’d make it out of alive.  

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Man to Man, Dad to Dad My father’s birthday has just passed and the anniversary of his death is tomorrow, August 10.  Around this past Father’s Day, I received a free copy of this book from Catholic Company, for reasons perhaps only the Holy Spirit can explain (I didn’t request it or order it), and though hesitant to read it and write a review, because I knew it would be a tough topic for me, I did read it, and this is my review...
I just read a book written by and for Catholic men called Man to Man, Dad to Dad: Catholic Faith and Fatherhood edited by Brian Caulfield, so I’ve been thinking about my own father and the role of fathers in general.  The funeral I attended recently for William Barrett Sr. reaffirmed that the best gift a father can give to his children are a dedication to the Lord that comes before all else, and a commitment to family that remains strong, loving, tried, and true... Read the rest here. 

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How to Save a Life A few weeks ago, I was inspired to watch the video to a song I’ve liked for quite a while.  I was surprised to discover the lyrics aren’t what I thought they were.  It’s amazing how one word changes everything.  Because of some of the experiences I’ve had in my life with family and friends, I thought that the chorus to "How to Save a Life" by The Fray was:

“Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere alone in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
cause I know how to save a life.”  

The actual lyrics are: “had I known how to save a life.”  This deeply moving music video contains a message that can save the life of someone you love.  I invite you to watch, listen, and learn, so perhaps you’re less likely to find yourself in the position of regretting that you could have saved a life and didn't.

For more information on suicide prevention, check out this info-packed website for the signs that someone might be suicidal and tips on how to help them.  Don’t ignore them.  Seek help and support for your loved one as well as yourself.  Suicide prevention is everyone’s business!

    

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A Life-giving Birthday Gift Since my mom has learned and done so much over the years to help give people life, I figured a good present for her now that she is a grandma is Infant First Aid and CPR classes.  

     My mom’s been very involved in the respect life movement (from womb to tomb) for a number of years.  Among many other things, she has kept vigil with those who have lost their will to live, visited the sick and home-bound, given shelter to the homeless, fed the hungry, cared patiently and gently for those who are imminently dying, comforted those who are in mourning, prayed for an end to abortion, supported unwed mothers and helped them get the resources they need, fought doctors and anyone else who has refused to recognize the sanctity and dignity of every human life, shared the Gospel with others…

     Pretty much the only life-giving/saving activity I could think of to add to her repertoire is a couple courses on what to do in the event that a physical emergency arises in which she could be the one to keep her grandson or another young person alive.  I was impressed with the class I took through this company.  If you haven’t been trained in Infant or Adult First Aid and CPR or could use a refresher, I encourage you to check out Enjoy CPR.  

                  

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

Man to Man Dad to Dad: Catholic Faith and Fatherhood

My father’s birthday has just passed, and the anniversary of his death is coming up soon.  I just read a book written by and for Catholic men called Man to Man, Dad to Dad: Catholic Faith and Fatherhood edited by Brian Caulfield, so I’ve been thinking about my own father and the role of fathers in general.  The funeral I attended recently for William Barrett Sr. reaffirmed that the best gift a father can give to his children are a dedication to the Lord that comes before all else, and a commitment to family that remains strong, loving, tried, and true.

     
Man to Man, Dad to Dad: Catholic Faith and Fatherhood addresses some of the concerns many parents, particularly fathers, have about passing on the faith to their children.  Honestly, it is a God-incident that I even received this book as it wasn't the one I selected from Catholic Company to review.  

    
The book arrived near Father's Day, which as you might imagine can be a rough day for me and others who have lost their fathers.  I didn't know why I'd received the book, but I felt that maybe I was supposed to read it, anyway. For a while, I couldn't bring myself to get that far in it as my dad's birthday approached (it was July 25) and while thinking about the upcoming anniversary of his death (August 10).

    
Over a weekend last month, I decided to pick it up again and finish it.  I'm glad I did.  I found it to be encouraging and uplifting to read the stories by various Catholic male authors about what it means to live out the Catholic faith.  I also think it might help you to see that parents who raise their children in the faith have done a lot more than they might think in building a strong foundation for the faith in their children, whether they embrace Catholic beliefs and God right now or in the way you envisioned or hoped for at this time or not.

 
One of the many reasons I believe the Holy Spirit nudged me to the Northside for the funeral Mass of a gentleman who I’d never met is because a woman from St. Michael’s parish recently told me that my dad had been part of the inspiration for the Rosary Prayer Group she started.  At my father’s funeral, which this woman attended, it was mentioned that my dad always prayed the Rosary.

    
I now have the blue bead Rosary he prayed with all the time, and I use it regularly.  One gift for which I am very grateful for from my parents and grandmothers in particular is the gift of the desire to put God first in life and as part of that having a strong devotion to the person who knew Jesus most intimately, the Blessed Mother.

In some ways, we get to choose what legacy we will leave.  Man to Man, Dad to Dad: Catholic Faith and Fatherhood addresses the hot topics and challenges Catholic men, husbands, and fathers face on a daily basis.  The authors provide realistic goals and specific steps to help men become the best they can be.  I highly recommend this book for anyone and everyone interested in reading about what really makes the man, husband, and father more like Christ.  I received a free copy of this book from Catholic Company, for reasons perhaps only the Holy Spirit can explain, and though hesitant to read it and write a review since I didn’t order it and knew it would be a tough topic for me, I did read it, and this is my review.  

I am part of Catholic Company’s reviewer program for which I receive free product samples in exchange for an honest review.  

Passing Along the Faith: the Legacy of Walter Carlin Barrett Sr.

     This past Tuesday I attended a beautiful funeral Mass for Walter Carlin Barrett Senior, who passed away on July 24, 2013 at the ripe old age of 93.  I never met Walter, and I mostly know about his son from others in our Diocese who think very highly of him.  The Holy Spirit nudged to go to the funeral even though I didn’t personally know the family and had never been to Holy Rosary Catholic Church.    

     I ended up sitting with a couple friends from St. Michael’s.  There were a number of priests, deacons, seminarians, as well as our bishop in attendance.  The church was completely full.  The choir was amazing.  There’s so much you can tell about a person from the people who gather at his funeral. 

     I was really impressed that Monsignor Walter Barrett presided at his own father’s funeral Mass.  He did a wonderful homily that was an amusing, loving affirmation of his father’s life and legacy.  Walter Barrett Sr. was a man who put the Lord first in his life and was completely devoted to his family.  When he was younger, he thought about becoming a minister.  Later on, he told his son that he’d stolen his vocation.

     “Wait til your father comes home,” their mother would say.  When they heard their dad wiping his feet on the mat outside the door, that was their signal to straighten up and behave.  Monsignor Barrett talked about the faith and grace with which his father brought people together.  He was born in 1919 and lived at a time when segregation was the norm and prejudice was running rampant.

     As a hard worker, who continued working until his health began to fail.  He provided for his family, sometimes working two jobs at a time if that’s what it took to make ends meet.

     Monsignor Barrett’s earliest memory of his father was of him reading the Bible to him at bedtime when he was a young child.  His dad was head of the household and would lead the way when the family walked to Mass.  When they did get a car, his father would always pick people up who he saw walking along the side of the road, even though five of them were already in the car.  They’d scoot over and Walter would drive the person wherever he needed to go before they’d go on to their originally intended destination. 

     He supported Walter and his brother and sister going to Catholic schools for their education.  Most importantly Walter Barrett Sr. lived the Gospel.  Walter was said to be a man of few words, which was fine, because his example as a beloved son of God, a devout follower of Christ, a faithful husband, and father spoke volumes. 

     Monsignor Barrett said his family had been hassling him because he’d told them he figured only about 60 people would show up for the funeral since Walter had outlived many of his family members and quite a few of his friends.  I’m not sure how many the church can hold, but it was definitely filled to capacity.

     Most Reverend Bishop DiLorenzo, a number of people from the Pastoral center, the staff members of the cluster of parishes Monsignor Barrett oversees in Hampton, and countless people from parishes around the Diocese came to honor the legacy of Walter Barrett Sr.  The testimony to his life was the way he lived out his faith.

     I hope and pray that when my time comes to pass from this life into the next that the Lord and those who knew me will most of all remember the importance of drawing ever closer to the Christ. 

     One of the many reasons I believe the Holy Spirit led me to the Northside for the funeral Mass is because a woman from St. Michael’s parish recently told me that my dad had been part of the inspiration for the Rosary Prayer Group she started.  At his funeral, which this woman attended, it was mentioned that my dad always prayed the Rosary.

     I now have the blue bead Rosary he prayed with all the time, and I use it regularly.  One gift for which I am very grateful for from my parents and grandmothers in particular is the gift of the desire to put God first in life and as part of that having a strong devotion to the person who knew Jesus most intimately, the Blessed Mother.

     Walter Barrett Sr. walked with the Lord in this life and is likely rejoicing in His Presence for all eternity.  Here’s the link to his obituary and online guest book. 

     Lord, please grant comfort and peace to Walter Barrett Senior’s wife, children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, to his family and friends, and all who are mourning this man’s passing.  Give all who are grieving the loss of loved ones the peace which passes all understanding.  Open their hearts to You, who are both Holy Comforter and Wonderful Counselor.  

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 107)

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Leaving a Legacy The Last Lecture was one of the books my dad read and had hung onto.  I put it on my bookshelf figuring I’d get around to it eventually.  I’ve been thinking of my dad James Niermeyer a lot lately because of Father’s Day and the time I’ve spent sorting through boxes of photos and memorabilia of his that I brought to our place after he passed away.  Another thing that’s brought my dad to mind is that I’ve been praying for a couple different families whose fathers recently passed away leaving their wives and young children behind.  I know why my dad enjoyed this book: it’s about reaching your childhood dreams, making a difference in people’s lives, and leaving your mark on your family, friends, and colleagues…Read more of this reflection here. 

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One Last Lecture from Dad I’m not sure of everything my father would have thought most important to share, but I know that faith would definitely have played a big role in his talk.  I am positive he would have told some of the hilarious stories about how he and his brothers got into trouble over the years.  He would probably have mentioned how much he looked up to each of them a great deal. 

     I’m not sure of all of the messages he would have included for his three daughters, though.  I guess one of the biggest questions I have is: what would my dad’s talk have included after he’d retired from being one of the top executives at a major corporation, when he had long since lost his football player physique, and when he was faced with the certitude of an early death?  I know from our many talks and visits in the last few years of his life that he saw many things differently from the way he once did.  I know some of what mattered most to him, he wrote about in his Footprints in the Sand Prayer journal.

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What’s Up and Coming Kevin and I have been getting our place in order and even doing some more decorating (I feel rather ridiculous saying that considering one of my sister’s has a perfectly decorated house that could be in magazines, but at least we’re making some effort.)  We’ve been inspired to make a Rochester, New York wall, since that’s where Kevin and I first met, where we became good friends, spent lots of time together over the years, and where we return to each summer for some time on the Lake.  The first thing on the wall is a framed chart of Lake Ontario.  The next thing we’ll likely put up are a select

sampling of the bazillion photos I’ve taken of sunsets, Ontario Beach Park, and some of our other favorite hang-outs.  We’re waiting to get back the cross-stitch I gave Kevin at our wedding reception and make that another focal point of the wall. 

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Free Giveaway I have some really special friends who have such unusual experiences which make for absolutely hilarious stories. This week my friend Michele stopped by and told me a great one.  She’s been getting rid of, giving away, selling, donating…most of her earthly possessions in anticipation of entering a cloistered monastery this August 6, but she was a little too hasty in one of her giveaways.  She made herself dinner one evening, opened the cupboard and realized she’d given away the only two plates she owned to a neighbor who liked them.  She bashfully knocked on the friend’s door and told her the dilemma, which made for a great laugh all around.  Michele, I'm really going to miss you popping over to say hi, share a funny story, have a deep discussion, watch a great movie, take a nap, have some juice, a meal or a snack, you know, whatever you feel like when upon entering our place.  :) 

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Is it naptime, yet? Thursday was one of those long, very trying days taking care of three little girls who have been acting crankier, more tired, and volatile than is normal for them due to a number of factors ranging from developmental milestones, to interrupted sleep, teething, and varying calorie consumption. Lord, thanks for being patient, gentle, and loving with all of us even when we're grumpy and attitudinal to You!

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The Paper Bag Princess This week I brought over a bunch of paper bags I could use to organize and sort things (I learned this method from my mom who used to have dozens of paper bags from the local grocery store in closets and in the attic as her ‘filing system.’)

  When Vivi saw the bags, she asked me if I was going to cut one for her to wear.  Let it never be said that kids aren’t little sponges with frighteningly good memories.  It had to be at least a couple months ago that I brought a paper bag, cut a hole in it for her head and her arms, so she, too, could be a paper bag princess.  She wore it for about two seconds then lost interest in the “costume.”  I can’t blame her.  No pretty colors or fancy frills, but I’m impressed she remembered that activity several weeks after the fact.  I highly recommend The Paper Bag Princess, by the way.  She’s my kind of princess: practical, clever, resourceful, and brutally honest!

    

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Bring Others Closer I wonder what my “last lecture” would include, what main themes and messages from my life I’d insist on having in it.  Perhaps, that’s one of the reasons why I felt this was the right time to read The Last Lecture: I’d like to sit down sooner than later and figure out what’s most important and live in a way that’s evident in my relationships, work, how I spend my time and money. 

     For me, discerning God’s will, carrying it out, glorifying Him, and bringing others closer to Him are what I want and try to build my life around.  One of the main prayers I have prayed over the years, I was inspired to write a while back: “Lord, please plant Your will in my heart and make it my deepest desire and most fervent longing,” along with: You, Lord, are ALL I have and You give me ALL I need.  My future is in Your Hands.  Lord, I pray for Your Will.    

     Since we don’t always know when we’ll give our “last lecture,” we’re best off living today in a way that would embody the legacy we hope to leave for our loved ones and the generations to come.

                  

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

Leaving a Legacy & One Last Lecture

The Last Lecture was one of the books my dad read and had hung onto.  I put it on my bookshelf figuring I’d get around to it eventually.  I’ve been thinking of my dad James Niermeyer a lot lately because of Father’s Day and the time I’ve spent sorting through boxes of photos and memorabilia of his that I brought to our place after he passed away.  Another thing that’s brought my dad to mind is that I’ve been praying for a couple different families whose fathers recently passed away leaving their wives and young children behind. 

    
I know why my dad enjoyed this book: it’s about reaching your childhood dreams, making a difference in people’s lives, and leaving your mark on your family, friends, and colleagues.  Carnegie Mellon professor Randy Pausch was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and he did everything he could to really live the months he had left with his family and friends.  One of the things he worked on during his illness was a last lecture with tons of pictures and some of the main themes in his life and work.  He included the highlights and wisdom he would have shared with his children when they got a little older. 

It’s a fun look at how imagination and determination, a strong work ethic, and persistence can really pay off.  The stories and anecdotes he shares are amusing.  The Last Lecture definitely has the feel of a motivational speech, though with more personal details and universal values incorporated.  Here's a quick 10-minute reprise of The Last Lecture which he appeared on Oprah to give:
   
There are a few things to note that are vastly different from Randy Pausch’s life and my dad’s: not only was my father not a computer science guru, but he barely knew how to use a PC.  Electronics were not his thing at all.  My dad was the youngest (by 15 years) with three older brothers, so his childhood was a direct contrast in many ways to that of Pausch’s.  Sports and physical strength, then later on success in business were emphasized more than imagination and ingenuity the likes of which would land him working at Walt Disney as an Imagineer.         

    
Some of the clichés he uses remind me of those my dad would always say.  In reading The Last Lecture, I wondered what my dad’s main messages from his life would have been.  What would he have included if he gave one last talk before he passed away? 

    
I’m not sure of everything my father would have thought most important to share, but I know that faith would definitely have played a bigger role in his talk than it did in Pausch’s.  I am positive he would have told some of the hilarious stories about he and his brothers getting into trouble over the years.  He would probably have mentioned how much he looked up to each of them. 

    
I’m not sure of all of the messages he would have included for his three daughters, though.  I guess one of the biggest questions I have is: what would my dad’s talk have included after he’d retired from being one of the top executives at a major corporation, when he had long since lost his football player physique, and when he was faced with the certitude of an early death?  I know from our many talks and visits in the last few years of his life that he saw many things differently from the way he once did. 

    
It also makes me wonder what my “last lecture” would include, what main themes and messages from my life I’d insist on having in it.  Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why I felt this was the right time to read this book: I’d like to sit down sooner than later and figure out what’s most important and live in a way that’s evident in my relationships, work, how I spend my time and money. 

    
For me, discerning God’s will, carrying it out, glorifying Him, and bringing others closer to Him are what I want and try to build my life around.  One of the main prayers I have prayed over the years, I was inspired to write a while back: “Lord, please plant Your will in my heart and make it my deepest desire and most fervent longing,” along with: You, Lord, are ALL I have and You give me ALL I need.  My future is in Your Hands.  Lord, I pray for Your Will.     

   
Since we don’t always know when we’ll give our “last lecture,” we’re best off living today in a way that would embody the legacy we hope to leave for our loved ones and the generations to come.
   
This post is linked to the July 2013 edition of New Evangelists Monthly.

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 106)

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Remembering My Dad I’ve been going through hundreds of thousands of photos, letters, cards, and many things have reminded me of years gone by.  One of the best examples of reconciliation and redemption has come through my relationship with my father, James Lester Niermeyer.       

     Only God could have brought about the necessary transformation in both of us, so that we could be there for each other in the last few years of his life.  It’s been hard to me to have a box of his things from high school football and college which I don’t personally want to keep, but which I don’t want thrown away.  I’ve been in tears a number of times when I see symbols of what he worked so hard for and wonder if all of the pain and suffering he went through in life was worth it. 

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A Man of Faith One blessing of having a blog is that people who knew my dad years ago have contacted me and told me what impact he had on their lives.  I know that my dad’s true worth had little to do with his successful career, large homes, luxurious vacations, expensive cars, or corporate accolades.  I have some measure of peace knowing that he is finally where he knows he is appreciated and loved for who he is, not what he does. 

     Lord, thank You for our fathers.  Please give us the courage to learn from their wisdom as well as their mistakes.  Guide us in seeking Your will above all else, so that we may one day join those in Heaven.        

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What’s Left I guess it makes sense since it’s been less than six months since my grandmother passed away and still under a year since my mom sold the family home that I’m sorting through many boxes, yet again.  The things I’m hanging onto (though there are lots of them) are: photos, letters, cards, and journals.  I have boxes and boxes of pictures, journals, cards, and letters from high school, college, my time studying abroad in France, dating Kevin, as well as recent years.  I know that others in my family would have gotten rid of many such things, but I’m grateful I rescued them.  I firmly believe that God can make something beautiful from the scraps, pieces, and fragments of our lives, and I trust He will help me use what memories I have and lessons I’ve learned to bring others closer to Him. 

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Girls Day Out Last Sunday was an answeredprayer for a dear friend of mine who won’t be with us much longer.  She wanted a day out with her closest girlfriends to pick out a dress, find the perfect shoes, relax, have fun, and enjoy quality time before she goes.  We had a blast, and she was given her requested a day out with the girls, something she had hoped for a while ago when she discerned her vocation and knew she’d be a different kind of bride.  It’s hard for me to think that my dear friend and sister in Christ will be leaving and not coming back.  Michele Morris, the director/actress who wrote the original play “Teresita” based on the life of St. Teresa of Avila and her own discernment process, is performing one last time in Richmond, then she’s moving on to a new life in a cloistered monasteryin Carmel, California.   

   

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Final Performance If you are nearby and able, I hope that you will join us for the final performance of “Teresita” on Sunday June 23, 2013 at 3:00pm in the sanctuary of St. Benedict’s Church.  The one woman play written and performed by local actress and prayer warrior Michele Morris is quite an inspiration to Christians.  There is no fee or reservation necessary.  A love offering will be taken up to assist Michele with her dowry, the remaining things she needs for her entry into the Carmelite Sisters by the Sea on August 6, 2013.  I have seen the play many times, and I guarantee you will be entertained, edified, intrigued, and given hope by this performance and this woman of God.

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Les Misérables I finished reading Les Misérables this week.  Yes, it’s another classic that I’ve only just read in its entirety for the first time.  I loved it!  I’ve read a lot by Victor Hugo in French (as it was one of my majors in college), but I thoroughly enjoyed the masterpiece in English or in some parts franglais, as we say.  It brought back memories of my time in Paris to read the book and watch the movie. 

     More than anything else, the chef d’oeuvre has reminded me that Our God is God of many chances.  We are given so many opportunities to redeem ourselves and others in this life.  Actually, the first two relationships I thought of after watching the movie were with my two sisters.  I’ve felt awful that I wasn’t the big sister that I thought I should have been for them, but God’s shown me, in part through the book and the movie, that there’s still time to make amends.  Just as was the case with my dad, there’s room for reconciliation, vulnerability, honesty, healing, and closeness deeper than has been there before.

    

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The Good We Do This week a friend got in touch with me to tell me how work that God prepared her to do last fall has been coming to fruition.  I find it so easy to see the Holy Spirit at work in this woman’s life.  I am grateful that the Lord has seen fit to give her a glimpse of the impact she has on others because she is so hard-working, compassionate, and caring.  It’s encouraging to know that when we are open to God and the promptings of the Holy Spirit, He works in mysterious,powerful ways often without us even realizing it. 

                  

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

Fatherless

     Frighteningly realistic and suspenseful, Fatherless is the first book in what has been perfectly labeled as “the American tragedy in trilogy.”  It immediately grabbed my attention and kept me intrigued throughout.  I know it’s good when I don’t want to get to the end of the first book before the next one is available and ready to be read.

     I can empathize with and at the same time be horrified by many of the decisions we make as Christians in the world today when it comes to our families, our friends, our workplace, our faith community.  It’s all-too-easy to get lost on that slippery slope of moral relativity rather than seeking the Gospel Truth, which doesn’t change according to modern opinion or current trends.    

      The stories powerfully illustrate and verify the authenticity of many descriptions and assessments included about the mainstream media, corporate America, the popular culture, and watered down Catholic teachings most prominent in our times.  The other main characters are mostly laity with families of their own to care for and shepherd.  The people in these novels vary quite a bit when it comes to their knowledge of Church teachings (or lack thereof), their devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ, their practice of the faith, and the life choices they make as a result.    

     Some of the family struggles and situations are familiar enough to make me uncomfortable and reflective.  Having two parents who were cradle Catholics and practiced the faith throughout their lives while also knowing a number of people who have fallen away from the Church for a variety of reasons helped me identify with a number of the characters and families in Fatherless.  My father used to be a high-level sales executive for major pharmaceutical corporation, so the ethical, moral, and faith questions raised in this book through many of the situations and characters really hit home. 
     John Sweeney, one of the main characters and narrators who serves as a primary link connecting the many families in these books, is a Roman Catholic priest.  Fr. Sweeney is young, fresh out of seminary, and in many ways inexperienced in pastoral care at the start of the first book, but this adds quite a bit of interest and insight into the life of the consecrated religious, particularly priests, and the unique opportunities and challenges they face in their vocation to shepherd the flock entrusted to their care.  A major crisis of faith inspires him to take some time away to discern if the vocation he’s chosen is really where God wants and needs him to be.

     When I read that the author Brian J. Gail is a former semi-pro athlete, Madison Ave. ad man, and Fortune 500 senior executive, I was completely blown away that a man so steeped in the culture of corporate America, mainstream media, and all that comes with it has been incredibly vulnerable, honest, and even critical of the world he has been a part of for so long, even under the veil of fiction. 

     In some ways, I feel that these books tell part of my dad’s life story.  They have given me a much deeper insight into the professional and personal challenges he and countless others in his generation (and the following one) struggle with.  Brian J. Gail gives voice to the questions, concerns, and torments whirling about in the hearts of many men and women of faith.  Clearly, this author is someone who understands companies that regularly tempt people to compromise their values and/or change them under pressure.

     So much of what’s in these pages has actually happened, is happening now, and/or will take place in the not-too-distant future.  The truth pharmaceutical companies hide about the side effects of their products, the lies promoted and promulgated through advertising, the media, and government, along with the permanent scars left by a rampant culture of death that embraces everything from abortion to euthanasia as convenient, revolutionary, advanced, and scariest of all they tout these scientific discoveries and technologies as being: humane, moral, and ethical.  This skewed view of Creation and man’s manipulation of what God has made shows that the interconnectedness of people, their influence on others, and their relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ (or lack thereof) are of greater consequence in time and eternity than appears at first glance. 

     Reading these novels has reminded me that we have so many opportunities to do the right thing, to choose life, to bring about healing where there is great pain, possibly even suffering that we have unintentionally caused.  What seems like the end of a relationship, a calling, a career, a dream can so often be a new beginning.      

     This trilogy raises some vital questions: Who determines our worth?  Who do we trust and what does that say about who we are and what matters most to us?  Who do we turn to for answers, guidance, and advice?

     Depending on the answers to those questions and the choices made because of them we have a responsibility and accountability to others and to God.  Our choices have consequences for others as well as ourselves.  Are we true to ourselves or are we more devoted to discovering and upholding Truth=God?

     What’s worth putting everything on the line for?  No need to answer with words.  The choices we make and actions we take show clearly what or whom we value above everything and everyone else.  What example, what values, what legacy are you leaving by the way you live your life?  What impact is it having on those around you?  What impact will it have on the generations to come?
     For more information about Fatherless, to purchase a copy of this book (paperback or Kindle), or read more about the author, or "the American tragedy in Trilogy," check out this website. 
     This post is linked to the May 2013 issue of New Evangelists Monthly.