I had a
heavy heart and felt that I was close to tears for most of that day, but I
wasn’t sure all of the reasons why. I could identify some of them. It's been a rough month for our family in year's past. My
grandma was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma in February of my Freshman year of
high school. A loved one suffering from depression needed to be hospitalized for the
first time that month to stay safe and remain alive. Both of my grandmothers' funerals were in the beginning of February: one when I was 11 and the other just two years ago.
My grandmother who had cancer lived to the ripe old age of 89.
Last year February was pretty miserable
unfortunately. What's worse, three years ago, the sadness seeped
into March with news that my cousin John Niermeyer had taken his life. The last
time I had seen John was at my dad's funeral in 2009.
Tears
didn't start streaming down my face until I read on Facebook that 13 years ago on February 8th was
when a friend of ours lost his son to suicide. The message below and photo above are from Robert's dad, whose
last name is also Potter. (He and his wife are siblings in Christ to
Kevin and me, but not blood relatives, as far as we know).
"It was 13 years ago you chose to leave
us. Miss you and love.
Thanks to the great people that I saw today at
Church of the Sacred Heart and St. Edward's, though you may not have said
anything today, seeing you reminded me of all the good in this world.
A special thanks to Chris D for the tears of
joy he brought me this afternoon.
May God continue to bless all that have lost a
loved one to suicide."
 |
| Daniel Calder |
We are blessed that Galen and his wife Janet have shared their
faith journey with us. We know them through Cursillo, but we've gotten to
know them even better as they are in our Spiritual Direction class with us.
The four of us are paired up as spiritual direction partners for this
year. Seeing this Facebook post reminded me of the heart-to-heart we had during
our Spiritual Direction retreat in September when Galen shared with me about
what had happened with his son.
Last spring, I served on team with Julie, whose son Daniel took
his life in 2013. During our team
overnight at Richmond Hill, I asked to speak with Julie after people had
retired to their rooms. I told her that
I have experienced bouts of depression for years, including periods of wishing
my life would just end. I asked her to
pray for me. I know that she did and has
been.
I still don’t know what to say to someone who has lost a loved one
due to suicide or some other tragic and unexpected death. I’m sorry for your loss isn’t adequate. I’ll hold you while you cry seems more
appropriate. I can do that. I’ll pray for you is the best I can offer, so
I do. I know I don’t have the ability to
take away someone’s pain, but I will be present and prayerful in the midst of
their hurting.
