Celebrating My First Full-Time Nanny/Part-time Mother Job Which Began Eleven Years Ago Today (My Nanny Diary)

A mere nine days after Kevin and I got married in 2004, I began my first long-term nanny job taking care of “my two little guys.”  Actually, I was just taking care of one adorable baby boy for the first few months since the other infant’s mom was still on maternity leave. Before long, I had two babes three months apart in age to care for 54 plus hours a week.  I was 24, the same age my mom had been when she had me.

Why are you nannying when you have a Masters?!” is something I have heard numerous times, especially from my family members.  The short answer is: I love kids and we don’t have any of our own.  

Being with children gives me great joy!  Taking part in their care, education, being one of the people in their village helping to raise them to feel safe, confident, and loved in this world is such a tremendous responsibility. 

Raising and educating children is truly one of the most challenging and rewarding jobs I've ever had!  Sure, I applied to a number of different non-profits after graduating from Hollins University with my Masters degree, but I knew that I would really miss working with children if I took a job in a traditional office setting.  I’m perfectly capable of working in an office, answering phones, setting up for meetings, giving presentations, writing and editing newsletters, creating spreadsheets, coordinating gatherings, following up with clients, and I have done all of those things in the various jobs and volunteer opportunities I’ve had over the past 20 years.  Life without children being an integral part of it just isn't the same, though. 

  

What would you like to be when you grow up?  The short answer to that is: a faithful servant of God who puts His Will first, a good wife, and a good mom. However, since I may never get the chance to do the third of those, with God's blessing and Kevin's support, I’ve dedicated a lot of my time, energy, creativity, love, dedication, determination, willingness to be adaptable, learn new tricks of the trade, and grow as an individual by being a childcare provider.  I figured being a nanny is the closest I could get to being a mom when we don't have children (at least not ones for whom are biologically or legally responsible).

 

Close to two years after I started, each of the families made the decision that the mom would start working from home, so they would have more time with their sons.  The day one boy’s parents told me about their decision, they were both tearing up. I was deeply moved they were really going to miss having me take care of their son.  

Fortunately, God gave me the grace and peace of mind to encourage them that they were doing the right thing.  I knew that they had been really beaten down by demanding jobs and that their family life and health had suffered.  I affirmed their decision.  I didn’t burst into tears and start mourning until later on, long after I’d gone home and was sharing the news with Kevin.

To be kind and considerate, they gave me close to three months’ notice so that I would have ample time to look for my next job.  I tried my best not to let the boys see me sad, but sometimes one of them would be sitting on my lap listening to a book or showing me something, and tears would start falling down my cheeks.    

From early on, I had two car seats installed in my car and kept the double stroller we used in my trunk, so that I could take the boys on field trips and such.  We went to different parks, The Children's Museum, the mall, and various playgrounds.  We'd meet up with their parents for lunch or go visit with some of my family.  We had all sorts of adventures inside and outside! 

"Ride in Trisha's car?" the older of the two boys asked me one day.  Since I wouldn't be taking care of them much longer, I'd returned the car seats to their parents.  I explained to the little guy that I didn't have a special seat in my car for him anymore, so I couldn't take him anywhere. He looked sad and clearly disappointed.

Then, it occurred to me what he was really asking: do I still have a place in your life, in your heart?  Will you remember me? Will you miss me and still love me?  My emphatic answer to all of those questions was and still is a resounding YES!

Even nine years after nannying for "my two little guys," I still think of them often and pray for them regularly.  I'm grateful for Facebook, so I can see photos and such that their parents' post about what they're up to these days.  One just started middle school, and the other began fifth grade.  

I knew it would be a huge adjustment once our “daytime family” broke up.  I couldn’t even make it through the weekend without missing the boys and wondering what they were up to.  I went through a period of significant mourning and the grief usually associated with loss.  

In fact, my separation anxiety and missing the boys were so painful that I decided I would never nanny for anyone, again.  I was too devastated when I stopped taking care of “my two little guys” in August 2006 to risk that level of love, attachment, and ultimately loss, again.

Fortunately, over time, God turned my NEVER into something infinitely BETTER! 

A Love of Little People (My Nanny Diary)

I happened to see a friend, the mom of the three silly sisters for whom I used to nanny, online last month.  I asked what they were up to, and we decided to meet at Deep Run Park for a picnic and some playground time.  It was great to see the girls, as always! 

Being there and chasing Sunshine, who of late has been introducing herself to people as Rainbow Dash, reminded me of when I used to take her to the very same playground when she was the one singular sensation in her family.  I have lots of photos of her at Deep Run on the swing and at the top of one of the slides she didn’t even bother going down that Saturday.  Most of them are beneath her.  Now, she’s on to bigger, higher, more imaginative things.  

“Will we ever see you again?” Sunshine asked while I was hugging and kissing her goodbye.  She reminded me that it had been a long time since I’ve come to visit them during the day while their babysitter is there.

“I’ve missed you, too!  And I’ll see you again soon,” I assured her.  “And since the weather’s nicer we can get together more like this.”

She seemed satisfied with that answer and her mom’s agreement that we’d figure out about getting together, again.    

Two weekends ago, we got to see each other three times: at her uncle’s birthday party, at Mass, and at her house for dinner Sunday evening.  I was starting to feel deprived of running hugs, so it’s good we got several of them in!  

God Nudges (My Nanny Diary)

A year ago December, God nudged me, again.  He told me it was time to move on. It didn’t make sense to me or to Kevin.  I was the one with a steady income when Kevin had been out of work for six months.  Why would I stop working for a family we love, and leave what I know how to do to risk not making ends meet?  Because God made it clear to me it was time. 

How did I know?  My husband and I both prayed about it and agreed that we were getting the same message from the Lord.  Also, as I said I was given strength, courage, and peace to do something I didn’t think I could go through with.  I gave the family five weeks’ notice, so they’d have ample time to look for another childcare provider.  I offered suggestions and said I’d be happy to help in the interviewing process of other potential candidates.  

My separation anxiety wasn’t nearly as severe this time because we are good friends with the family and still spend time with them.  Kevin and I are each a Godparent to one of the twins.  We’ve often been invited to the girls’ birthday parties, holidays, and big family gatherings. 

Once in a while, I’ll stop over and visit the girls.  We save them seats on the end of a row when we go to the same Sunday evening Mass as they do.  The girls are always excited to see us.  They come over, want to be picked up, sit on our laps, and snuggle up to us.  Most importantly: they know we still love them lots!  

Discernment Review (14 months later)

Recently, I have seen some more of the reasons why God nudged me to move on, ones I couldn’t possibly have foreseen.  The main and most obvious one: Kevin was out of work for over a year, always looking for a new job but not finding anything until last November.  We needed the income I make working at school to make ends meet during that time. 

I’ve felt encouraged and inspired by the creativity and ideas my coworkers have, the early child education training I’ve taken, and the on-the-job experience I’ve gotten working in different classrooms, with a variety of age groups and teachers. 

I’ve been able to pick up some steady hours that allow me to make it to daily Mass, if I’m so inclined.  I haven’t been so exhausted in general for a number of reasons, in part due to some significant changes I’ve made to my diet.  I also had the time and energy to serve on the Women’s Cursillo team last April as well as begin our two-year spiritual direction course. 

The moral of the story: When God says move on, just do it!  The reasons why might be clearer with time, and/or you're more likely to be open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit the next time you hear the Lord's still small voice calling you to trust and follow Him in all aspects of your life if you test what you discern in prayer, confirm it with others, and heed it.  

Grace and New Beginnings (My Nanny Diary)

My helping out with Sunshine started innocently enough.  I offered to pitch in and babysit since they only needed someone now and again.  Kevin and I were in a situation at that time which made it so I could even take care of her without charging them anything. 

I know God had changed my heart and my mind about nannying again when I found myself thinking and praying about offering to take care of Sunshine on a more regular basis when her dad got a new job.  

It was something that I prayed long and hard about.  I kept asking God to make clear what would be best for all involved.  Eventually, it became clear to both Kevin and me that nannying for Sunshine is what God was asking of me.  With that reassurance, I offered to do what I thought I would never be able to do, again. 

After a couple years of taking care of one singular sensation, her twin sisters, who had previously been referred to as “babies in pants,” arrived on the scene.  Once their mom’s maternity leave was over, I was the busy nanny of a toddler and two infants three to four days a week.  Looking back, I sometimes wonder how I managed it even for ten-hour increments.       

Here are some highlights of our many adventures:  

Once Upon a Potty Training 

The Pirates Who Get into Everything 

Taste Testers of the Most Determined, Undiscriminating Sort

Treasure Chest Surprises

Climbing to New Heights 

Another Time to Move on When Unsure of What Was Next (My Nanny Diary)

I was devastated when I stopped taking care of my two little guys, because I knew I would miss them terribly.  I’d been there for so many of their joys and sorrows, triumphs, milestones, and evidence that even before they were nine months old they were already too clever for their own good.  I missed what I called “my daytime family.”  There was such tremendous sorrow in my heart, because I felt like my time of being as close to a mom as I may ever get had ended. 

In some ways, it felt like I was mourning the loss of two sons.  It hit me hard while I was at Mass the other day that part of the reason that I feel working with elementary school students is a good fit for me now is that’s how old “my two little guys” are currently. 

I can’t even imagine what it is like to lose a child.  That is one of the things I’m not sure I could make it through.  If my heart was ripped in two when two boys I knew would only be in my care for a period of time, I figured I couldn’t handle the full-fledged emotions that would come from being someone’s biological or legal parent.

The pain I felt then was so deep, I genuinely believed that I wouldn’t be able to do foster care or adoption, because of the possibility that the child could be sent back into a home that was not really safe or best for him or her.  I didn’t think (and sometimes still don’t believe) I could stand it.

I also never thought I’d nanny for anyone, again.  I was afraid to love any children so deeply and completely as I loved and love the boys, because eventually the time would come to say goodbye to them, too.  I didn’t think I’d have the strength for that, either. 

God, in His infinite wisdom, proved me wrong, again.  Thank goodness for the sunshine of a brand new beginning five years ago last month.

Not the Mama (My Nanny Diary)

I’ve been thinking about how eleven years ago I was taking care of two little boys who I loved and cared for as if they were our own.  Most weeks, I took care of them for 50+ hours, so we became very close.  We were together so often that not a day or long weekend would go by that I wouldn’t be thinking, talking, or dreaming about them.  By Sunday evening, if not sooner, I always missed them and was grateful I would get to see them bright and early Monday morning.

One weekend, Kevin and I took care of one of “my little guys” so his parents could get a much-needed couple of nights away, just the two of them.  Their son was so used to me taking care of him and Kevin coming over to visit that he never once asked where his parents were. 

Not even when I was the one to come and get him when he woke up in the morning.  His only comments were about what I was wearing: “Glasses.” (He usually only saw me when I was wearing contacts.) and “Stripes” (The pattern on my PJs).  He didn’t spend the weekend sulking or pouting that his parents were gone.  Of course, he was incredibly excited to see them when they came home.   

That weekend was the annual Walk for Life for our local Pregnancy Resource Center.  We made posters, and my family members took turns pushing his stroller during the walk which began at Immanuel Baptist that year.  Back then my dad was still able to join us for the Walk as well as Mass at Church of the Epiphany.  He was actually quite thrilled to have one of our family’s favorite little guys at church with us. 

Sometimes when I watch our nephew playing, I remember what my dad was like when he’d come to visit or meet up with me and “my two little guys.”  Dad always loved being around kids and came up with a seemingly endless array of ways to entertain them without any toys.  There are times when I feel as though my heart is being pierced because I don’t get to see our nephew and my dad playing together, at least not in person on this side of Heaven. 

Lord, thank You for the blessing of the children You have brought into our lives to care for, love hold, dry their tears, laugh with, sing, dance, and pray with over the years.  Please help us be open and loving to those children who remain in our lives or will come into them soon.  Amen.

Let's Hear It for the Boys! (My Nanny Diary)

This week I received a photo card that brought a huge smile to my face.  Though it's still easier for me to envision the little blond cutie as an infant and toddler, he's quite a handsome young man now.  I've already been thinking about how eleven years ago I was taking care of two little boys who I loved and cared for as if they were our own.  

Most weeks, I took care of them for 50+ hours, so we became very close.  We were together so often that not a day or long weekend would go by that I wouldn’t be thinking, talking, or dreaming about them.  By Sunday evening, if not sooner, I always missed them and was grateful I would get to see them in the morning.    

One weekend, Kevin and I took care of one of “my little guys” so his parents could get a much-needed couple of nights away, just the two of them.  Their son was so used to me taking care of him, and Kevin coming over to visit that he never once asked where his parents were. 

Not even when I was the one to come and get him when he woke up in the morning.  His only comments were about what I was wearing: “Glasses.” (He usually saw me wearing contacts.) and “Stripes” (The pattern on my PJs).  He didn’t spend the weekend sulking or pouting that his parents were gone.  Of course, he was incredibly excited to see them when they came home.   

That weekend was the annual Walk for Life for our local Pregnancy Resource Center.  We made posters, and my family members took turns pushing his stroller during the walk.  Back then my dad was still able to join us for Mass at Church of the Epiphany.  He was actually quite thrilled to have one of our family’s favorite little guys at church with us. 

Sometimes when I watch our nephew playing, I remember what my dad was like when he’d come to visit or meet up with me and “my two little guys.”  Dad always loved being around kids and came up with a seemingly endless array of ways to entertain them without any actual toys.  There are times when I feel as though my heart is being pierced because I don’t get to see our nephew and my dad playing together, at least not in person on this side of Heaven. 

Lord, thank You for the blessing of the children You have brought into our lives to care for, love hold, dry their tears, laugh with, sing, dance, and pray with over the years.  Please help us be open and loving to those children who remain in our lives or will come into them soon.  Amen.

Harvests and Special Celebrations

   This school year's Harvest Fest was my favorite one yet, because Kevin and I got to share it with five of our favorite people.  Two of our best friends brought their daughters to the Harvest Fest we had at school last Saturday.
   Their girls (the twins are our Goddaughters) I have referred to elsewhere as "the three silly sisters" are the ones I was nannying for over the past few years.  I was so excited that they got to come and enjoy the fun.  Of course, I love being around children, in general, but these girls will always have an extra special place in my heart.
   Who wouldn't like getting the following greetings from three adorable little ones?  "I've missed you sooo much!" and another one: "I love you!" and the third just runs over and gives me a big hug.
    Kevin, their mom, and I each ended up chasing one of the girls around the playground, field, and festivities.  Their dad came by after work to join us for face-painting and popsicle eating/smearing fun.  There were slides, pumpkins, balloons, snacks, apple cider, and even an alleged Rainbow Dash spotting.

    Our outing last weekend reminded me of another event several years ago in the spring that was way more fun one year than any other: The Walk for Life.  I was taking care of one of "my two little guys" so his parents good get a much-needed overnight away, and that happened to be the Saturday of The Pregnancy Resource Center's Walk for Life which my family and I have taken part in for years.  I packed him up in his stroller, and off we went.  He had a ball.  My parents, Kevin, and I did, too.

   We've been part of the village helping to raise, love, nurture, and care for a number of children over the years.  The present I have most hoped for just about since our nephew's birth has been to have two of our best friends and their daughters come to meet my sister, brother-in-law, and our nephew.  We will hopefully have the joy of such a gathering as part of a pretty picnic and playtime at the park excursion Sunday afternoon.
     Lord, thank You for the blessing of family and friends with whom we can celebrate the gifts of life, love, laughter, joy, and hope.  To read about other fond memories involving Harvesting God's Abundance, click here.

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 137) The End of an Era, the Joy of a New Day

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Grace is…a husband who goes to defrost, scrape, and brush off your car on a morning when he doesn’t have to be up and out early, the unmistakable joy of being in the presence of someone you love, big fat snowflakes, the awe of children at nature’s beauty and complexity, a community of Christian women that praises God with its faith, friendship, love, and laughter, reading favorite children’s picture books repeatedly to little ones inclined to curl up on your lap, listening intently and attentively, enjoying the irony of it all, treasured memories…         

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A Beautiful Song My youngest sister posted this uplifting song on her Facebook wall this morning and I must agree that this India Arie song does make for a nice start or finish: 

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Riverdancing on the Roof This morning I awoke to what sounds for all intents and purposes as if there are people riverdancing on the roof of our building.  It’s sunny and cold without a cloud in the sky, so I knew it wasn’t rain or a storm.  The pounding and banging isn’t quite rhythmic enough or melodious enough to be pleasant or entertaining.  The cacophony is mostly making me want to flee the premises. 
     I usually do morning prayer and the daily readings from the Magnificat.  I was highly amused when I got to the Gospel according to Mark 2:1-12.  “They came bringing him a paralytic carried by four men.  Unable to get near Jesus because of the crowd, they opened up the roof above him.  After they had broken through, they let down the mat on which the paralytic was lying.”
     Kevin and I both have questioned the structural integrity of this building, so we’re only sort of joking when we had a discussion about someone falling through the roof into our apartment.    

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Stuff my husband says: Not too long ago, after seeing a commercial in which a man is running on a treadmill in his front yard to create the power to light up all of the Christmas decorations on his house, Kevin suggested that it would be great if there was such a contraption as a treadmill that you could use to power the washer and dryer.  I shook my head sadly and reminded him that we live one the third floor of an apartment building with a laundry room in the basement.  If you take the four flights of stairs down and back up each time you put clothes in the washer, transfer them to the dryer, and retrieve them again, then it has pretty much the same effect.   

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No Longer the Nanny Yesterday was my last day nannying for three silly sisters.  We had a fun day which included watching the snow fall in big flakes during the morning.  Kevin came to visit and got some pictures of me with the girls since all of us were looking pretty in pink.    

     Honestly, I haven’t cried at all, yet.  It hasn’t hit me.  I’m hoping that when it does it will be a gentler, softer grieving period this go-round, made even lighter because we’re still close friends/like family and are welcome to visit whenever.

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Keepin’ It Real The only tried and true March for Babies and Mothers that actually respects life from the moment of conception:

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Inspiring Words This is the most joy-filled, inspiring, faithful call to evangelization I’ve read recently.  Each time I sat down to read some more, I was blown away that it kept getting better and better.  Watch out for those who roll with the Holy Spirit!

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.  

It’s Time to Move On: Trusting God When Unsure of What’s Next

I rarely like any news that begins with “it’s time to move.”  My family has had to relocate out-of-state multiple times while I was growing up due to my father’s successful career in pharmaceutical sales.  I hated having to start new in each place, being the new kid on the block as well as at school.  I never liked saying goodbye to friends.  In the fall of 2012,  my mom sold the only family home my sisters and I lived in and/or visited since I had just finished my sophomore year of high school and was about to meet the man I would one day get to date and eventually marry.

    
When I got older, the moves I made were usually my choice.  Roanoke for college, Paris, France, to study abroad, Rochester, New York in the summers to be near Kevin, Richmond to get married and settle down were all my decisions.  It was still hard to say goodbye to friends as well of the children whom I took care of in each of those places, but I knew mostly when the end of my time somewhere would be.     

It is only because God has recently made it clear that moving on is what He wants of me (of us) now that I have the courage to take this step.  I don’t like major changes, and I honestly don’t know what’s next for us, but we’re doing our best to trust God with everything and do what He tells us.  This is why my last day nannying for the three silly sisters I love so dearly will be on Thursday, January 16, 2014.

    
I’ve gone through a time of mourning each time I have stopped taking care of little ones for an extended period.  It was hardest and most painful when I stopped nannying for “my little guys.”  The grief over not seeing them for 50+ hours each week hit me in waves in the two months up to my last day of taking care of them as their nanny and for several months after.  On some days and in some ways, it felt as if I was losing two sons.  Even now, I still think of and pray for “my two little guys” and keep in touch with their families.

Knowing how much I love and get attached to the children I take care of, it was only out of a clear ‘yes, do this’ from the Lord and a sincere love for the family who has “adopted” my husband and me that I was even willing to consider nannying for anyone again.  I honestly didn’t think I would be willing to risk loving children so much who would only be in my care for a limited time. 

I’m hoping and praying that this transition will go as smoothly as possible for all of us and that this period of grieving (on my end) will be lighter and easier to deal with since we are close friends/family as well as the twins’ Godparents.  We aren’t saying goodbye, just seeyasoon as opposed to see you in the morning.   

     
My very talented husband has been out of work since he was let go on Labor Day (I know, crazy, right?!), and we have been without health insurance since mid-November, so it doesn’t seem all that logical for me to stop nannying right now.  However, I’ve found that what God leads us to isn’t often what makes sense to us at the time, nor is it the easiest path, but it has always, (every single time!), turned out to be the best for all involved. 

    
Kevin’s still looking for a full-time job with benefits and getting things together to patent his invention.  My immediate plans are to pick up more hours as a substitute teacher at RMS, give private French and Creative Writing lessons, and possibly do some after-school programs as I have in the past.  With some freelance writing and editing, and perhaps a creative writing workshop or two for adults, we should be able to manage.  I’ve also gotten the nudge to put a manuscript in order of my adventures in nannying and childcare, so I’ll be doing that as well.
     
My husband and I would very much appreciate your prayers as we continue discerning what God wants of us next in all areas of our lives and do our best to carry it out.  The prayer God first inspired me to pray many years ago still rises in my heart: Lord, plant Your Will in our hearts and make it our deepest desire and most fervent longing.  Amen.               

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 133) Music, Vocations, and Videos for the Whole Family

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Grace is…seeing people and situations in a new light, loving more and judging less, having enough faith to let go of what you value in favor of whom you value, an unexpected call from a loved one, a spontaneous visit when you most need it, good books that change your perspective and expand your mind, the little things that make such a big difference…  

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Triage for Christmas Correspondence

If you’ve sent us a card wishing us a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, thanks, you rock!  If you haven’t, we totally and completely understand!  If you’re waiting for a card from us, please see the below qualifications for this year’s version of triage for Christmas Correspondence.

7 Qualifications for Receiving Christmas Correspondence via Snail Mail in 2013 from the Potters’ (Let’s be realistic now: this means a card or letter from Trisha that Kevin has heard or read and signs, too)
 If there was a period of thirty days or more over the past calendar year during which:

1. You and I talked to and/or texted each other daily.
2. We hung out a few times a week.
3. Regularly sat together at Mass together and other church-related activities.
4. You have eaten several meals at our place.
5. You have at any time received an actual text message from my husband.
6. You have been in a cloistered monastery.
7. You are only allowed to receive mail at Christmas and Easter due to being a postulant in a cloistered monastery.    

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Yes, God Whether you come from or are part of a family in which the Catechism was drilled into your brain at an early age and you prayed Hail Mary’s until the cows came home (or in one family, at least settled Yes, God!  What Ordinary Families Can Learn aboutParenting from Today’s Vocation Stories that will help you say yes to God in your own life and help others encourage the same submissiveness to the Lord in theirs. Read my fullreview here.
down) or if you tried to learn something of Catholicism’s draw by actually drinking some holy water and playing a trick on your blind teacher, you’ll get something from

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Audio Addictions Pentatonix is an a cappella group that I have had so much fun watching and listening to.  I do believe I have gotten Kevin hooked, too.  Woohoo!  It's only taken me a couple weeks to get my husband to sit and watch a few of their Youtube videos with me.  This is promising as it sometimes takes hims significantly longer than that before he realizes I'm right.  For a cool over view of their abilities, check out their Evolution of Music video below:

  

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You Put Your Right Hand In… As someone who regularly resorts to singing and dancing to songs that are fun an entertaining for kids while also good exercise, I was quite amused by this article on the alleged origins of the Hokey Pokey.  Make sure to watch the video in the post of a Shakespeare version of the Hokey Pokey-Priceless!

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The Latest Silly Dance Song After playing, singing, and dancing to “We’re Going on a Bear Hunt,” “Bop Until You Drop,” and “Boom Chicka Boom” with the girls usually at least two or three times each daily, I chose another song to throw into our daily repertoire.  It is highly repetitive and likely to end up stuck in your brain, but it’s fun, the kids like it, and it gets us all moving.  Consider this your warning:If you have children and/or work with them, I suggest listening to this song when they are out of earshot to determine whether or not you can deal with hearing it daily, multiple times a day played or sung live with varying degree of accuracy in the lyrics for the next 3 years.

    

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Merrymaking Mayhem I’ve seen the writing on the wall, and I found it rather daunting, especially when it wouldn’t come off with a wet paper towel or baby wipes.  A certain 18 month old livewire recently scribbled what looks to me like a rather impressive letter “M” on the wall.  Since this happened before it was even 8:30 in the morning, I knew that it was going to feel like a very long day of nannying.
     Three clever, too-smart-for-their-own-good cuties with a permanent place in my heart have challenged me to learn, laugh, grow, sing, dance, reminisce, hug, kiss, snuggle, and experience quite a bit of joy and exasperation beyond what I’ve known in the past.  I love you lots dear three silly sisters!     

             
Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 130) Storytelling, Silly Songs, & the Cookie Caper Question

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Grace is…a delicious Thanksgiving feast shared with family, having my youngest sister home even for a brief visit, Mom’s homemade apple pie, wanting to be a better servant of the Lord, working at being more Christ-like by doing small things with great love, genuine encouragement and inspiration from those who love you, the sense to stay in on Black Friday, playing with your youngest nephew, the vulnerability it takes to be honest in kind and gentle ways…

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Thanksgiving Across the Years This Thanksgiving was a really nice one for Kevin and me.  We began the day by going to Mass to celebrate the ultimate feast, the Eucharist (the word literally means “thanksgiving”).  Later we headed over to my sister and brother-in-law’s house for the family meal and visiting.  The food was delicious and the quality time together very enjoyable!  To read about some of our past Thanksgiving adventures, mishaps, and traditions, click here.     

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It’s Your Fault! Yesterday, my sister and I broke into a song about rubber duckies that my mom used to sing to us when we were little.  My other sister and my mom looked at each other and made faces at us.  I elbowed my mom, and informed her: “It’s your fault!”  And really it is.  She’s the one who stayed home with us when we were little and sang to us, danced with us, read to us, played with us, and inspired a love for little people that she passed on to each one of us.  

     The song my sister and I were singing is from Sesame Street.  You might recognize it.

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10 Facts about Advent I happened upon this article the other day, and it’s a great starting point for remembering what Advent is about.  Here’s a hint: it has nothing at all to do with the craziness of Black Friday, but is an important precursor to Christmas and the prelude to Good Friday.  The actual Advent wreath that Kevin and I have and will be putting out this weekend is a very special one that was made by a friend of ours who is hardcore about spreading hope.   

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Run that by me again! Sunshine has a very active imagination.  Sometimes, I’m not sure right away if she’s telling me about something that has actually happened or if it’s another one of her pretend stories.  Either way, I try to listen closely and follow along.  Not too long ago, she told me that her grandma and grandpa don’t like rabbits, so she doesn’t either.  I had no way of verifying that, but since her grandparents do have a farm, I deduced it was at least possible.  This week, she was a good two minutes into her story before I figured out that we were in a real world with real people fairy tale.  What tipped me off?  Suddenly she was the one driving mommy and daddy’s van to go find her mom, who had left her at school while she went to Walmart.    

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Last Night Kids concept of time is amusing.  Lately, Sunshine typically begins and/or ends each of her stories with “last night.”  This has occasionally helped me in the department of distinguishing fact from fiction, though, with her it can be a very convincing mix of the two.  Knowing that her parents had trouble with the minivan’s alarm going off by itself, I was incredibly impressed when in subsequent weeks, she spun a very animated, action-packed, high adrenalin story about a school bus needing to be fixed and babies crying because of a loud alarm that went off when a battery died.  Kevin was visiting us at the time and got to witness this based on a real life event story, and we were both amused and awed.  Just remember, your children are always recording audio and video whether you want them to or not.

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The Cookie Caper Question I have a tendency to take things personally and assume that people think the worst of me.  Here’s a hypothetical situation that closely resembles my line of thinking: If Kevin were to ask me why cookies were being stolen from the cookie jar in a household of three or more individuals all capable of reaching the container, I would typically assume that he was informing me of a problem while at the same time accusing me of stealing the cookies and/or blaming me for not having a better system for keeping track of the baked goods in question even if this wasn’t at all his intent or line of thinking.  (Truth be told, I do find it very difficult to resist the urge to consume baked goodies when they are left out or easily accessible.) 

     Like most people, I prefer to be informed of a problem and asked questions rather than immediately accused of being the culprit when I’m just as likely a suspect as the next person.  If the cookies have some type of chocolate in them, it might be most efficient and also highly likely to assume that I have been one of the people responsible for the disappearance and consumption of some of the cookies.  Though it would be unfair and presumptuous to believe that I am the only guilty party involved in the case of the missing cookies, it isn’t unjust, given my appreciation for goodies, to think that I’m among the likely suspects…

     I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and that you are willing to share your holiday baked goods with whoever comes to call this Advent and Christmas.                  

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary. 

A Letter to Parents (My Nanny Diary)

Dear Mom and Dad,

If you think that no one other than the two of you will ever love your child and care for him as much as you do, except for God, you’re probably right.  Your child will always have a very special bond with you two, and your love is deeper, wider, and stronger for him than other people’s, and that isn’t likely to change, nor should it. 

From what I’ve read, heard, and observed, it’s perfectly normal to wonder if a child would be just as trusting, content, and relaxed to have pretty much anyone feed, burp, change, wash, clothe, hold, play with, read to, supervise, entertain…him.  The truth is their sense of trust, security, and love comes initially from the two of you.  Even when you are five kinds of tired and doing things only other parents or caregivers as sleep-deprived as you are would come up with, your child knows you love him, will take care of his basic needs, and not give up on him no matter how difficult he can be at times

The Lord chose you out of all of eternity to take care of this little one in body, mind, and soul.  The connection between parents and their children is much stronger than many realize.  I’ve had a number of parents, both mothers and fathers, make comments to me that indicate they feel their child is some sort of “traitor” when he warms up to me and seems comfortable with me taking care of him.  Actually “traitor” was the exact word one mother used when she came home on her lunch break the first day her son was in my care to check in and make sure everything was going well.  He was perfectly content, and she felt a little slighted as well as relieved and grateful.    

Another important aspect of life that children learn from very early on is that Mom and Dad show them who they can trust.  Part of your responsibility is to ensure that your child is always in reliable, competent care when one or both of you aren’t present.  You are your child’s most important, influential, and trusted teachers.  That’s not to say your child won’t challenge you frequently, but he knows that the bottom-line is that you’re the one who will appear in the middle of the night when he’s thirsty, hungry, teething, cold, having a nightmare...     

 

I don’t know what it feels like from your perspective to have a child you have sacrificed everything for run up and give someone not even related to you hugs and kisses, but I imagine it would make me feel envious and wonder where I rate if I were in your position.  If ever you feel a twinge of sadness, jealousy, or regret when your child runs up to someone else, remember that your child is able to love because God and the two of you loved him first and taught him how to trust by being trustworthy.    

The best performance review I’ve ever received from a parent is that they can tell I love their child “almost as much as they do.”  When one father said that, I knew he could understand how I feel and where I'm coming from.  Though I have loved each child for whom I have nannied as much as I possibly feel I am capable of love, I know that their parents love them even more, and I rejoice that’s the case. 

You’re right in thinking you’ll never find a babysitter or caregiver who loves your child as much as you do.  However, it is quite possible and very probable, that with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, you will find someone who really loves and adores your child and will give him the best care they know how while you two are at work.  It may mean searching a bit harder, interviewing more candidates, and/or training someone who has the potential to be a good fit, but it can be done.  It is possible to find quality child care you can trust and depend on to love and keep up with your little one. 

 

People have billions of ideas about what’s best for kids, but what they need most is to feel loved, safe, and have their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs met.  God always intends for there to be people in addition to the mother and father to love a child, care for and about him, and lend support and encouragement.  They aren’t kidding about it taking a village to raise a child.  Don’t be afraid of letting other people love your child dearly.  When it comes to the top spots in the child’s heart, you’ve got them.  Just like it says in Mary Poppins once she’s interviewed, “The position has been filled.” 

No matter what child care situation you discern is right for your family, your child will always have the strongest bond with the two of you, his mom and dad.

Sincerely,

Your Nanny

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 129) about Singing, Dancing, Training, Laughing

 

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Grace is…getting a short nap when you’re beyond ready to collapse, a glimmer of hope in the midst of innumerable struggles, God putting people on our hearts and minds who need our prayers, people with whom we can be completely honest and vulnerable, reconnecting with friends you don’t get to see often, having a child bring you a book to read them, being reminded of the place in your heart that suffers when those you love are suffering, the gift of laughter, the undeniable cuteness and joy of little ones…  

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Gotta Sing and Dance I was raised with a love for books of all sorts, Broadway musicals, and Disney movies among other things.  I have shared my passion for books and musicals with the children for whom I have nannied and worked with over the years.  My mom, sisters, and I have been known to break into song at family meals and gatherings, and I regularly burst into songs from Singin’ in the Rain, The Sound of Music, White Christmas, Mary Poppins, The Music Man...when taking care of little ones.  Of course, I also sing them the usual ABCs, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, London Bridge is Falling Down, If You’re Happy and You Know It, She’ll be Coming Round the Mountain, I’ve been working on the railroad, but I also enjoy spicing things up a bit with some lesser-known oldies but goodies.     

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The Music Man Over the past couple weeks after Kevin and I watched one of the movies I know by heart from my childhood, I was inspired to introduce another couple songs to the repertory of Broadway musical classics that I sing and dance to at times while nannying.  The girls have really enjoyed the opening scene from the original The Music Man movie.  This has been the favorite and most requested Youtube clip this week (at least in the department of musicals):

    

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Hit by a Train The other day it happened to me again, I was hit by a train.  It was a small child’s toy train, but I still got hit by it.  When Kevin and I were dating, he took me to a model train store and was showing me how detailed some of the to-scale models are.  I was holding one box up and examining the locomotive inside, admiring the intricacy of the windows, seats, etc., and tilted the box a little too far.  The black engine thumped onto my chest.  I turned to Kevin with a look of mock horror, and said, “I’ve been hit by a train!”       

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Keep It Simple I’ll set up a lay-out of train tracks, and one of the girls tries to attach all of the trains to each other and not let her sisters have any to play with.  Another will make it her mission to destroy whatever train tracks are connected, especially if they happen to be held up or supported by Duplos.  The third cutie has cracked me up this week by taking one piece of track less than a foot long and one train and running the train back and forth along that little bit of track.  It’s portable, cannot be disassembled, and doesn’t draw nearly as much attention or interference as other attempts to play trains.  You go girl!    

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When Words Aren’t Enough Over the past couple weeks, I have had people share with me a number of serious situations for which they want and need prayer.  Regardless of how tired I have been, God has granted me the grace to listen and be present when possible, and to lift up all of those who are suffering and caring for them in prayer.  I’m encouraged to know that there are people who pray for Kevin and me daily.  Just so you know, I am always honored when people ask me to pray for them or for their loved ones.  Prayer requests are always welcome!   
    

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A Fabulous Tradition A couple who we are good friends with has made it a tradition each year to invite a group of friends and/or family members over for an early Thanksgiving feast at their place.  Kevin and I are looking forward to this get-together quite a bit after having a blast in years’ past.  Good food, good friends, great memories, abundant blessings, who could ask for anything more?

                  

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.