Monsignor Chester Michael: Well done good and faithful servant

The funeral Mass was quite beautiful and not surprisingly very well attended for Monsignor Chester P. Michael this past Wednesday, August 6, 2014.  The celebration of his life took place on the Feast of the Transformation, a fitting God-incident since he was instrumental in inspiring change, transformation, and true conversion in countless people throughout our Diocese and around the world during his 72 years as a priest. 

    
Most Reverend Bishop Francis Xavier DiLorenzo presided at the funeral Mass held at St. Thomas Aquinas Church in Charlottesville, Virginia.  As is customary for our leader and resident history buff, he gave a homily that compared and contrasted what life was like in the world when Monsignor Michael was first ordained a priest in 1942 and the myriad changes he witnessed from World War II until the present. 

       

The bishop posed three very poignant questions about the 97 years God gave Monsignor Chet on Earth. 

     1.Did his life mean anything at all?

     2.Was his life a waste?

     3.What was the meaning of his life and ministry?

    
Bishop DiLorenzo covered a smattering of the ministries and various levels of involvement and influence Fr. Chet had in them.  Basically, he responded to the above questions with this summation of answers: 1.Absolutely.  2. Not at all.  3.He did so much it would be hard to mention it all, estimate the number of lives he’s transformed, or how his work to spread the Good News will continue to inspire others.    

    
In closing, Bishop DiLorenzo said: “We thank God for his ministry, and we say well done good and faithful servant.” 

    
After the celebration of the Eucharist, Andy Macfarlan offered some Words of Remembrance about Fr. Chester Michael.  He shared some of the stories, themes, passions, quirks, and characteristics of the beloved priest and popular spiritual director.  Looking around the church, I saw dozens of people Kevin and I know through Cursillo.  I found it a perfect Mass for our seminarians to attend even while on their yearly retreat.  What better testimony can you give than that of a good priest who served God’s people in many different ways over the 72 years since he was ordained to serve our Diocese?  He’s been an inspiration to priests, deacons, seminarians, consecrated religious, and laity for quite some time. 

    

Kevin and I never formally met Monsignor Michael, but we’ve heard a number of stories about “Fr. Chet” as many of his close friends and spiritual directees called him.  We are aware of only some of the countless ways this man has touched our lives.  In 1963, he brought the Cursillo Movement to the Diocese of Richmond where it has flourished as a tool for the new evangelization in place long before that term was popular.  Over 8,000 individuals have made Cursillo weekends in our Diocese since then.  That’s a lot of lives to touch and enflame with the Holy Spirit! 

    
But wait, there’s more.  Fr. Chet also created Open Door Ministries and the Spiritual Direction Institute (SDI) to encourage laypeople to grow closer to the Lord, learn about themselves, and how to live the Gospel in new ways through a more intimate walk with Christ.  There have been over 600 people who have gone through the SDI program he developed since it first began.  Kevin and I just began the SDI program this summer.  I read and highly recommend the three books to the left written by Monsignor Chester Michael, and used as some of the primary resources for his two-year course.  

    
It boggles my mind to think of how many souls he’s affected just through Cursillo and SDI.  He’s been involved in so many really powerful ministries over the years, ones I don’t know as much about but which are described in detail on his website.  Kevin and I have been fascinated to read about his life, humble beginnings, ongoing education, and the numerous ministries which he started and/or brought to the Diocese of Richmond over the years.  He has touched the lives of so many different groups of society, I’d venture that when it comes to ministry in Richmond, there could be a game that would probably only show two or three degrees of separation at most between Catholics currently active in our Diocese and their connection to Monsignor Chester Michael and the ministries he’s created and supported.  To read a more thorough biography of Monsignor Chet’s life at least up to 1992, click here.

   

Today is the five year anniversary of my father’s passing which has gotten me thinking about the influence one person’s life can have on so many others.  We don’t know how much time we have left to make a difference.  Fr. Chet had a lot of years to do all the work God intended for him. 

     
What is God calling us to be or do right now?  Are we taking ample time to listen to the whisper of His still small voice?  Are we grounded enough in prayer and edified through study so that we are filled with the love of Our Lord, ready to go out and proclaim the Gospel through our lives?

Pentecost Weekend Festivities

Pentecost Weekend was very enjoyable.  We spent it with loved ones, many faith-filled people who are passionate about serving the Lord and others.  Saturday I had some good prayer, reading, study, and writing time.  In the evening, Kevin and I had dinner with my mom at a delicious Italian place on the Southside called Angelo’s.  Their stromboli is scrumptious!

From there we headed over to Church of the Epiphany, where Kevin and I were married on September 4, 2004.  Two of our friends from Cursillo were doing a concert as part of their Give Me Jesus tour.  The band S2K they’re in plays for Kairos retreat weekends.  I knew it would be a blast, because our two friends are characters on their own, but are even more hilarious together.  The concert was awesome, and the banter among the guys entertaining, as always! We got to sing along to the praise and worship music they performed, and heard their take a on a few classics that fit in with the theme of Kairos. 

   
In between sets, one of the men in the band would talk about how, when, and why they became involved in prison ministry.  Each of them has gone to one or more Virginia prisons to put on Kairos retreats for the inmates.  It was really awesome to hear the stories of how these men from a variety of faith denominations and backgrounds came together to serve men, women, and juveniles who are incarcerated. 

     
One of the most moving testimonies was from a gentleman who had been an inmate on the very first Kairos retreat that ever took place in our area back in 2002.  When released from prison, he began studying to become a minister.  Now he’s one of the chaplains who serves Kairos.  Talk about transformation and metanoia! There you have it!

   
Sunday morning Kevin and I went to 11:15 Mass at our church because our friend was doing the second reading in Hindi as part of the celebration for Pentecost.  It was neat to hear the reading in an unfamiliar language, and the music was beautiful.  Afterwards, we headed up the hill for the church picnic that the Knights of Columbus had organized and were preparing for.  I ended up sitting with a few friends from Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP), a couple of whom are now also Cursillistas, and we had a good time.  Good friends, good food, and good fun!

     
Then I got to catch up with a dear friend I met through CRHP who has been at pharmacy school in Chicago for the past couple years.  We were assigned to be roommates for the overnight portion of the CRHP retreat, and we stayed up half the night talking and have been good friends ever since.  We weren’t sitting at the same table when we made our retreat, so we wouldn’t have gotten to know each other as well had we not been assigned to the same room.  Another God incident indeed! 

   
Lord, thank you for surrounding us with so many people of faith to inspire us and pray for and with us.  We are grateful to have friends who are family steeped in the love of Christ and the dedication to serve His people.  Amen.

A Subtle Grace by Ellen Gable

A Subtle Grace is the latest masterpiece by bestselling author/editor Ellen Gable.  It is the sequel to the award-winning novel In Name Only.  I’ve really been looking forward to this sequel because I was so thoroughly impressed by the first book, which vividly depicts the lives of the O’Donovan family in the late eighteen hundreds.  I love when I get so drawn into a book that I can picture myself in the scenes and have a real sense of the thoughts and emotions surging through the characters.  She blends dialogue and descriptive prose to create full-bodied personalities.  It is easy to identify and relate to each person’s unique charms, quirks, and flaws. 

  
There are scenes in certain books, plays, and movies that stick with us because of how disturbing or upsetting they are.  Maybe it’s an image from one of the ghost stories popular at sleepovers or an urban legend that hits a little too close to home.  We can all think back to a particular scenario we’ve envisioned and relive the emotions as if it was happening to us in the present.  Adrenalin starts pumping.  Our heart beats faster.  Our palms sweat.  Our muscles tense.  Every sound is amplified and ominous.  We are sure of our safety, nevermore. 

  
In each of these novels, there are a number of scenes I found myself reacting to on a visceral level because of how powerfully crafted and carefully portrayed they are.  The suspense made me not want to put the books down even when the turn of events caused me to cringe.  Gable manages to treat a number of the scenarios I would definitely include in my top five biggest fears of all time in ways that compel me to continue onward through the horror and devastation to discover what’s waiting on the other side.  I can’t exactly say that I enjoy feeling awful, but to me it’s a mark of good storytelling if you can get me to empathize with the characters so deeply that a real sense of sorrow rises within me when they are suffering and a genuine joy comes over me when they have triumphed over it.

  
This is one of my favorite contemporary works of Catholic fiction.  (For purposes of classification, I'm defining contemporary as works written between the 1980 and today) .  The storytelling is masterful, the characters fascinating, and the writing is of high literary quality.  People are imperfect—past, present, and future—but each is given the opportunity to grow, change, learn, and be redeemed.  In this story it’s shown how the greatest mistake of our lives can be turned into one of the most amazing blessings and even be a source of hope for others.  Life’s messy.  People are complex.  We’ve all got some skeletons in our closets, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t also fit some trophies and triumphs in there as well. 

A Subtle Grace has all of the elements that good Catholic fiction should.  For more information about In Name Only or A Subtle Grace, click here.  I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.            

Like a Good Neighbor, My Husband is There

I find it tremendously ironic that I was selected to give the Action/Evangelization talk on the Women’s Cursillo Weekend held April 24-27, 2014.  Not only was I on team with a number of people who have a great deal more experience in performing the corporal works of mercy than I do, but I’m also married to someone who is naturally not just a good neighbor to the many people who live in our building, but who is often a very Christ-like one. 

   
He goes above and beyond the usual, signing for a package if someone has asked you to hold it for them until they get back or letting someone know they’ve left their headlights on.  I can’t tell you how many times

he has helped the people who live in our building. 

He’s done work on their vehicles or assisted them with repairs, given individuals who are handicapped rides to the store, taken care of cats while their owners are out of town, provided bags of groceries when people were struggling to put food on the table, helped people network who were looking for a new job, let someone borrow his bicycle for several months so they wouldn’t have to buy one to train for a competition, changed light bulbs and did various other household chores too challenging for those who are elderly and/or have disabilities, reported suspicious activity to the police, listened while people tell them about their day or about their whole life story, provided encouragement and support to those who have been struggling in mind, body, or spirit…

He’s the one who knows everyone’s name and asks them how things are going then actually listens to the response.  We saw one of our neighbors in a wheelchair, and Kevin found out after a few different attempts (because my husband doesn’t speak Spanish) what had happened to him. 

The husband and father of two girls fell 20 feet off of a ladder, breaking both of his ankles.  Kevin noticed that the front tire of their car had been slashed.  It was completely flat and would need to be replaced, so he offered to go and get a new tire and put it on for them.  They agreed to this.  When he went to return the car keys, they wanted to pay him, but he refused any compensation for the new tire or the labor.  We agreed it was a very practical way that we could offer them assistance during a difficult time.

    
Kevin is preparing to give the Laity talk on the upcoming Men’s Cursillo Weekend being held July 24-27, 2014, at Sacred Heart, New Bohemia.  He’s got a number of wonderful descriptions of the roles of laypeople in the Church.  What amuses me is that he hasn’t yet included any of the number of day-to-day things that come naturally to him and count as ways to minister to others.  Isn’t that often the way, though?  The people who are best at doing something are the ones who question their aptitude, downplay their abilities, or doubt the validity of what they have to offer. 

When I see so much everywhere I look that I feel I could or should be doing, it’s refreshing to look at my husband.  He reminds me just by being who he is and where he is he’s glorifying the Lord.      

You Are Not Alone & A Partial Potter Update

Dear Family and friends,

     We want to be there for you always.  We want you to feel comfortable calling us for whatever you need   whenever you need it, especially during the most difficult times! For those of you who we have been there for at least some of the time, please know that you are not partially responsible or at all responsible for the times when Kevin and I are feeling worn out and/or rundown.  Even if we have not been as good about calling, visiting, or checking in with you lately as we could be, please rest assured that you our on our minds, in our thoughts, and certainly in our prayers.

     Our struggle has a lot more to do with being upset for the times we don't feel we have much to offer anyone, even each other and those closest to us.  We struggle with feeling like we’re not enough, not who anyone wants or needs us to be, not living up to what anyone would like or expects of us.  It’s painful when some of the ways we’d like to be able to reach out and help others, we no longer are in a position, physically, emotionally, spiritually, or financially that we can offer the assistance we’d like to offer and in many cases have given in the past. 

Still Searching

     Kevin’s been looking for work ever since he lost his job on Labor Day, and though he’s had some good leads and applied to a number of places, nothing’s come together, yet.  He’s networked with some great people and been given some prospects to check out.  He’s kept an open mind, kept praying, and kept pounding the pavement.  Last week, he received the letter saying that he’d been sent his last unemployment check.  He was hit with a wave of frustration, anger, and anxiety that he hasn’t found a new job, yet.    

     Regardless of what other things are going on, I’ve needed to take pretty much every subbing job I’ve been offered due to our financial situation.  Don't get me wrong; I love working at school with different age groups of children and a number of great teachers teachers.  I’ve learned a great deal and have come to appreciate the Montessori method as an ideal way of educating children.  However, as anyone who has served as a substitute knows, it can be more exhausting than usual when you don’t yet know the routine or all of the kids and specifics of the role played by the person for whom you’re filling that day.  There’s so much to try and remember and learning on-the-go can be a challenge in an environment where there are already a significant number of important Department of Social Services rules, regulations, and procedures to keep in mind. 

Running on Empty

     Over the past couple months, I’ve most often felt like I’ve been running on empty.  We’ve had so much going on that it’s been hard to catch my breath.  I’m behind on a number of things as is really obvious if you look around our apartment or consult any one of my “To Do Lists.”  I can’t seem to relax much, because I always feel like there’s something else I should be doing.  Yes, I know that I just finished reading Crash the Chatterbox twice in a row, but it’s so flipping difficult to put it into practice day in and day out. 

     Anywhere I look, I see and think about something I should be doing for our marriage, our family, friends, to improve our financial situation, to straighten up our place, to minister to others, and it just makes me more discouraged when I get so caught up in all that I could be doing and some of what I should be doing that I haven’t yet. 

Enjoy the Ride

     A Cursillo friend of ours who is single and lives alone was recovering from knee surgery and then had shoulder surgery at the beginning of April and needed help with rides to and from her physical therapy appointments, and such.  I think of her regularly and get upset with myself for not having checked up on her recently or at the very least sent her a card.  Kevin and I were blessed to be in position that we could help. 

     I showed up to give our friend a ride and couldn’t pull it together soon enough before I got to her place that she could tell I’d been crying.  There are few things that make me feel as ridiculous and pitiful as feeling the least bit sad or depressed when I’m well aware that others are suffering way worse than I am.       

     Did my friend get in the car and ask me what could I possibly have to cry about since I didn’t recently have to have a series of IV infusions just so I could finally have the knee surgery, followed by shoulder surgery after a car accident a year before that wasn’t even my fault?  No.  Did she tell me that I should be wildly rejoicing because I’m able to move around without difficulty, have a husband who loves me, don’t live alone, have family nearby, and friends who care about me?  No.  She got in the car and was genuinely concerned about what had happened that made me feel so upset that I am not enough in any area of my life and that I can’t seem to do anything right.  (Unfortunately, these are beliefs about myself I have struggled with most of my life that sometimes drag me down further than other times.  I’m better at fighting them sometimes than others).

     I am amazed by this woman’s fighting spirit and can do attitude.  She is persistent and insistent that she get through these surgeries and get back to an active lifestyle.  She’s assured those of us who used to gather weekly for prayer group that come summer, she’ll be running circles around all of us again.       

An Influx of Family Visits

     The week leading up to the Women’s Cursillo Weekend was even busier than I’d expected it to be and more tiring.  Holy Week is usually a full time for us anyway, but we had even more packed in this time.  On Good Friday, Kevin’s sister and brother-in-law stopped in while driving down to meet their newest granddaughter, so we spent some time with them before heading to church for the Veneration of the Cross.  Saturday, we met them in the morning, then we headed over to my sister’s house to see my uncle, aunt, two cousins, and their two friends, who were in town for lunch and an afternoon visit at my sister’s house before they drove back home to upstate New York.  That evening, Kevin and I attended the Easter Vigil at St. Michael’s, which was quite beautiful, as always. 

A Window of Opportunity

     I spent a good chunk of time that week putting together blog posts, journal entries, and writing a very long letter to Michele Morris, so I could send her a package of things during the two weeks after Easter when she can receive, read, and respond to mail to let her know what’s going on in our area with Cursillo, mutual family and friends, etc.  In the letter I sent her at Christmastime, I’d let her know that I would be serving on team for Cursillo on the weekend of Divine Mercy Sunday, so I knew she would be praying for everyone participating on the weekend, especially during that time. 

A Loved One Lost

     The Wednesday before Cursillo began, Kevin and I had a funeral to attend that morning at Epiphany on the Southside.  Kay Marie Geiger, who had been really sick with cancer for a number of months, went to be with the Lord, so we gathered with her family, many friends, and Cursillistas to celebrate her life and legacy.  (Life has been so crazy, busy, and hectic since then that I have yet to finish writing my tribute to this wonderful woman who has been such a loving, compassionate presence in our lives). 

Now is the Time: ACTION

     The evening of April 23, 2014, we spent several hours at Shalom House unloading cars, moving lots of furniture and beginning to get things set-up for the Women’s Cursillo Weekend that took place April 24-27. 
Thursday, another team member and I arrived back at Shalom House in the early afternoon to continue preparations.  There was so much running around and taking care of things that I managed to go the entire weekend without having a really in-depth, intimate conversation with anyone at all.  I have a hard time keeping up with all the running if I don’t connect with anyone on a deeper level than discussing the weather, meals, logistics, and other surface stuff. 

     Everyone on our team was wonderful, pitching in wherever needed, regardless of their assigned roles, but we were down an “angel,” those responsible for making sure everything and everyone is where they need to be and where it needs to be at or by the time specified.  One of our angels had to have a double mastectomy a few weeks before the Cursillo, and she blessed us by coming for a few hours when she was up to it and to give her talk, but her work and offerings during the weekend itself, understandably, needed to be predominantly prayers since she was still recovering from surgery.  I should have visited her or sent her a few cards by now, but again, I haven’t.  She’s certainly been in my thoughts and prayers, though. 

Sharing Straight from the Heart

     Two of the talks given on Divine Mercy Sunday as part of the Cursillo weekend I knew would hit me really hard.  One talk was given by a woman who bravely shared the story of how she and her family have felt God’s presence and love in the months since last September when their youngest son committed suicide.  The second talk was given by the woman who has also found strength and hope in the Cursillo community when she was diagnosed for a second time with breast cancer and this time had a double mastectomy and will also need chemo and radiation.  I made it through each of these talks by sitting in the way back of the room, letting the tears stream down my face, then leaving the minute they were finished to go back and have some quiet time to myself in our room.  By Sunday evening, I was physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted and ready to collapse.

While You Were Gone

     Within the next couple days, we learned of troubling news about some of our close friends.  One friend, whom I had invited to come on the weekend and who discerned that this wasn’t the right time for her to go, informed us that the previous Thursday she’d found out that her ex-husband had been found dead in his apartment.  He had not been in good health, nor had he taken very good care of himself, but it was still unexpected and, of course, hard on the family.  Kevin and I devoted an evening to help clean out the ex-husband’s apartment, which we needed a mask and gloves just to enter.  There were a number of things that reminded me of my dad and his declining health and struggles at the end of his life, so that wasn’t easy to manage.  We attended the funeral Mass held at church which was quite beautiful, but again reminded me of losing my dad at a young age.   

Not much rest for the weary

     The Monday after the weekend, I slept and rested most of the day, then met several team members and their spouses back up at Shalom House to clean up, move furniture back, organize and put supplies away, and such. 

     We also found out that a good friend of ours had been hospitalized for the second time in one week.  That Tuesday, Kevin and I were on our way to Mass at St. Benedict’s.  Actually we were in the parking lot, when I happened to check my phone before going into 5:30 Mass.  I’d already turned the ringer off, but something nudged me to look at my phone again before heading in.  Our friend whose husband had been hospitalized called asking if we would be so kind as to pick up dinner and bring it over to her at the hospital.  We left to go be there for our friends while they were facing a difficult time. 

We’ve got your back

     As we've said to the dear friends of ours who are fighting some tough stuff, including one of them having recently been diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer, it's nice to be able to do some practical things to let you both know we love you.  Sometimes, it's hard to know how to help or what to do, so having specific things to take care of makes it easier.  I need or ride or a meal or for you to get this from the store for me are tangible things we can do to offer assistance.  We are saddened by the burdens that some of our family and friends are carrying, but we are also very hopeful for each one of you in the midst of these crises. 

Prayers and Presence

     Two of our friends each lost a parent in the past couple months.  We weren’t able to attend either of those funerals.  Another couple we know through Cursillo lost their 20 year old son who committed suicide a couple weeks ago.  When we arrived at the Ultreya that Friday evening that was at their parish, they were outside to receive an outpouring of love, hugs, and condolences.   I’ve prayed for all of these people, their loved ones lost, and the families in mourning.  I’ve given each of our friends hugs when I’ve seen them in person and expressed my sorrow over their losses, but I have yet to send any of them sympathy cards or letters.

More than meets the eye   

     There are many crosses Kevin and I are carrying which only a handful of people know about at all.  Only a select few people know the weight and depth of these burdens and what we’ve gone through to keep moving forward despite them.   It's been a struggle for us to trust in God in these areas when it seems like there's no change or improvement, not just recently, but over a period of many months, even years.

     Seeing the hope and courage of others in the face of major challenges and drawbacks inspires both of us.  We are grateful that family and friends share their joys and sorrows with us.  That's how it's supposed to be.

A Letter to Graduates

Dear Graduate,

    
Congratulations!  You did it!  Who knew that you’d one day make it so far, overcome so many obstacles, embrace so many new opportunities, and develop such wonderful friendships?  God did.  He’s known all along the passions in your heart and how you would and will continue to inspire others.   

   
My wish, hope, and prayers for you are that throughout your life you will grow in your awareness of God’s unconditional love, endless mercy, and unbounded joy so that you can continue being a source of living hope to all who come into contact with you.

   
There are some important lessons to remember as you move to the next step in your journey.  People and relationships are far more important than money, worldly success, awards, or prestige.  You are God’s Beloved Child.  I can almost hear some of you asking: "Who me?!"  To which I'd respond with a resounding, "Yes, you!"  

 
God has, does, and will always love you more than anyone else has, does, or can—even your parents, grandparents, family members, closest friends, or your spouse.  Almighty God is the only who one can and will always be with you, and, despite occasional thoughts and feelings to the contrary, He will never abandon or forsake you. 

   
I found it to be so easy to get caught up in my own hopes and dreams or to make my decisions and assess my worth based on the evaluations I receive from others.  Above all, though, we are to seek the Will of the Lord in all areas of our lives and accept the abundance of blessings He provides for us to live that out.  It is the only plan which is best for everyone involved in time and eternity.  We are encouraged and created to move, grow, and have our being in the Lord Jesus Christ.  Any good gifts we have come from Him. Any good we can do for others flows from Him through us.  Only in uniting yourself with the Source of All Love and life will you be a most effective vessel and conduit of love, compassion, generosity, and kindness. 

   
May you keep prayer a source of hope and healing in mind and heart as you seek and guide others in search of goodness, beauty, and Truth. 

     
It can be a little nerve-racking at times to move from one stage of life to the next, especially when it means saying goodbye to loved ones, a particular way of life, a gathering place for friends, but you’re well-equipped to go out into the world and continue making a difference doing what comes naturally to you. 

   
Be gentle with yourself during times of transition. 

   
Who you are is your gift to others and God’s gift to the world. Embrace that truth and live your life to the fullest.  God danced the day you were born and has been elated by you ever since.  Remember that you are loved and lovable because of who you are and whose you are—not because of what you do.  Your value has already been established as a child of God.  No other accolades, honors, or awards are needed to establish your worth.  It just is.

   
The greatest gifts bestowed upon us are those most precious in time and eternity: a love for family and friends, a true compassion for others, a concern for those less fortunate, an active prayer life, ongoing study and faith formation, being part of Christian community, performing actions that provide for the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual needs of others, and a yearning to do God’s will that are fueled by a desire to spend all of eternity with the angels, saints, and the loved ones who have gone before us to Heaven knowing that Christ's life, death, and resurrection have bought us eternal salvation.

   
“All things work for good for those who love God…”  The best in your life is yet to come.  Trust me—the wildest adventures, the most longed for opportunities, the most ecstatic joys, the most unusual challenges, the deepest love, the most profound mercy, and the best blessings beyond all of your hopes and dreams are yet to come for you!  

    

God bless and love from your sister in Christ, Trisha

What Is Divine Mercy Sunday?

Did you know Divine Mercy Sunday is April 27, 2014?  It's always observed the Sunday after Easter, though many of the faithful don't know about this powerful prayer and important message from the Lord.      Click here to see a 15-minute video explanation of how to celebrate Divine Mercy Sunday here.
     
There are a number of beautiful ways to celebrate the Lord’s Divine Mercy and the messages of mercy given to the world, especially through Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska. I encourage you to read up on this feast day and find a church in your area that actually celebrates it. I love The Chaplet of Divine Mercy prayers.   This sung version is one of my absolute favorites! It's a very powerful prayer to sing with others. 
     
We've used it on Cursillo and Christ Renews His Parish retreats with great success!  Some have said it was the most powerful part of the weekend for them. 
     
Click here to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy on your computer.
     "
Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and the Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly Beloved Son in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world...For the sake of His Sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world."  "Jesus I trust in You!" - excerpts from the Chaplet of Divine Mercy
     
Please keep the team and candidates of the 465th Cursillo weekend taking place from April 24-27, 2014.  We are celebrating our theme which is based on the message of Divine Mercy and we will be sharing the Chaplet of Divine Mercy as part of the weekend.

Three Gifts of Thérѐse of Lisieux: A Saint for Our Times

As someone with a special affection for Thérѐse of Lisieux (as well as some other well-known St. Teresas), I knew I’d enjoy reading about how a bishop who considered The Little Flower as a sister to him from the time he was in seminary.  He was inspired to serve the Lord and live out the prescribed “Little Way” she wrote about in her autobiography The Story of a Soul.

   
Patrick Ahern cherished Thérѐse’s writing and example so much that he went to the trouble of learning French when he was 70 for the sole purpose of being able to read the original manuscript and other works written by scholars in her native tongue.  That to me shows a profound respect for the written word and the desire for an even deeper understanding of a saint he loved dearly. 

    
One of the most beautiful and inspiring books I’ve ever read about Thérѐse is one that Bishop Patrick Ahern wrote that was published in 1998.  It is a heartfelt story based on the correspondence between Thérѐse and a young seminarian.  Their letters to one another are filled with love, wisdom, and affection.  Both of them were tireless in serving the Lord and in doing whatever they could to spread His Love in the world.  Maurice and Thérѐse: The Story of a Love is a remarkable example of how two people of faith can pray for and encourage one another a great deal—even if they are miles apart, never meet in person, and have very different lifestyles due to the specifics of their vocations. 

    
I love Three Gifts of Thérѐse of Lisieux: A Saint for Our Times all the more knowing the tenderness and affection Ahern recognized Thérѐse had for Maurice, her sisters, her family, those in her religious community, and the entire world.  Thérѐse suffered a great deal of loss, illness, disappointment, as well as a very dark night of the soul, yet she remained cognizant all the while that even she could be useful for God if she would live out the daily tasks given to her with supreme love and selflessness.

    
One of my favorite personal stories from Ahern’s faith journey is included in this book.  It involves a brief stop at a candy shop that changed everything for him.  What he thought of and saw as weakness in a friend turned out to be an act of faith so profound that it changed the course of his life (and no doubt his friend’s as well).  I enjoy how much Ahern appreciates and embodies what Thérѐse experienced and described as the “Little Way.”

   
To find out more about Three Gifts of Thérѐse of Lisieux or to order your own copy, click here.

Hard Habits to Break

I found this article “Breaking Bad Habits: Why It’s So Hard to Change” a while back, and it spoke to me.  I guess part of the reason is because I know I have unhealthy behaviors, and I’m often uncomfortably aware and, at times, even really bothered by other people’s practices, usually because they in some way mirror or bring to the surface weaknesses I have.  This article reminded me of what is helpful and productive in breaking bad habits and establishing good ones in their place.

     
A big part of my problem is that I tend to minimize the effects of what I do and how other people are inadvertently harmed in the process.  Comparing the severity or seriousness of something I could change with someone else’s addiction (whether clinically diagnosed as such or not) isn’t a good way to grow in holiness or compassion.

    
As we are reminded in the Gospel of Luke 18:9-14, when the Pharisee exalts himself before the Lord for his supposed righteousness and the tax collector stays in the back of the sanctuary begging God for forgiveness, acknowledging that he is a lowly sinner, desperately in need of God’s mercy, we see what’s in these men’s hearts.  The minute we take credit for any of the goodness in us instead of thanking God for it, we run into trouble, pride, and veer into self-righteousness. 

We think we are good because we keep the laws and do what we’re supposed to do, but if we are doing everything for show or the admiration, attention, or respect of others, God sees through that.  He knows what’s in our hearts, whether we care to acknowledge He knows us more intimately than we know ourselves or not.    

   
There have been way too many times in my life when I have judged others because of the decisions they make, though I’m often guilty of similar mistakes and sins.  My thoughts go generally something like this: Well, at least I’m not doing what so-and-so is doing.  What they are doing is sooooo much worse and more despicable, destructive, immoral, sinful, disgusting…  I would never stoop so low as that.  Wow!  I can’t believe they can’t see what a mess they’re making of things.  I mean, really, someone should do an intervention or something.

    
Does that line of thinking sound familiar to you?  Over the years, I’ve learned that when I feel really upset by something someone is doing, it’s most often due to the fact that their behavior triggers an area of weakness in me.  In seeing someone else as different, less noble, less fragile… less anything, then we are refusing to look at what inside of us is lacking. 

    
It’s always easier to point fingers and criticize others than it is to take responsibility and ownership for the decisions we make and things we do that reflect that we are just as proud, arrogant, selfish, sinful, and disillusioned as they are.  (I covered this topic in a blog post titled What's the Best Reason I Know to Have a Personal Relationship with God? I Am!) 

    
Simone Weil stated that: “Every sin is an attempt to fly from emptiness.” This quote appears in the Magnificat magazine for Sunday, October 27, 2013, and seems to fit perfectly. We all go from temptation into sin for the same reason: to escape the pain of missing something that we want or need, to fill a void that is real or imagined. 

    
A destructive habit or behavior is always an attempt to make up for some aspect or way in which we feel we are lacking or at the very least to distract us temporarily from the discontent, inadequacy, or “emptiness” we are experiencing.

    
Only in acknowledging the places inside of us that are broken, empty, and in need of healing are we able to empathize and have compassion for others.  If we look down on and judge others who choose to do things to avoid their own emptiness which we find reprehensible, then we are often unaware of their level of pain and suffering, and/or we refuse to concede that it is in any way similar to our own. 

    
People deal with pain and suffering in different ways.  One person’s way of coping might not necessarily seem as detrimental as another person’s, but so many of the things we do to suppress our pain, distract ourselves from it, and/or merely survive through it are harmful to our souls, our relationship with God and others.

      
This reminds me of a very famous quote of Blessed Mother Teresa: “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”  Rarely do we know the situation that someone else is in, the details of their lives, the source or depth of their hurt, and even when we do know a great deal, we don’t know everything.  If we set ourselves up as a judge of someone else, then we are, in essence, saying that we are superior to or somehow better than they are in some area.  Again, in distancing ourselves, we deny the ways that we are lacking, whether it be regarding knowledge of the situation or compassion for another’s weakness. 

    
There was an activity we did at a personal growth seminar many years ago that has stuck in my mind.  The speaker begins describing a situation and talks about what a person does, then participants are asked how they would respond to the individual in those circumstances using body language that ranges from hostile/disapproving to welcoming/friendly.  When told the first part of the scenario, most people indicate they would be upset and react negatively.  Then the speaker continues with a little more backstory, and the more people find out about what this person is going through, the more compassionate people become.  For example, the inattentive, seemingly rude salesclerk is seen through the eyes of compassion once we know that she’s a single mom undergoing chemotherapy but has to come into work though exhausted and feeling sick to put food on the table.

    
The next time we are tempted to judge someone, we could instead pray and ask God to show us what is lacking or feeling empty in us that makes us feel the need to criticize or put down someone else.  It’s a lot more uncomfortable to acknowledge that we’re triggered by other people’s behavior and blame them for what they’re doing than it is to take responsibility for our reaction to other people’s choices and the pain we experience to the Lord for healing.

    
Another solution that has worked many times in addition to prayer is to ask questions and really listen to what the person has to say.  So few people are good at actively listening, and even those who know how to do it don’t necessarily practice it all of the time. 

When all else fails, we can stop and pray what many have come to call "the Jesus prayer:" “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me a sinner.”               

How Many Times Do I Have to Tell You…?!

     I have often heard and/or started this question with exasperation, anger, frustration, and aggravation.  Have you ever heard someone say or said to someone else: how many times do I have to tell you…?  My guess is that you have and that at some point you have even said these words.  

     Perhaps the opening question was paired with one of the following: tie your shoes, don’t pick your nose, there are no monsters living under your bed, do your homework, don’t bite your nails, wash your hands with soap and water for 20 seconds every time you use the bathroom and before you eat, of course that’s not a poisoned apple, rinse your dirty dishes before you put them in the sink or the dishwasher, clean clothes belong inside your dresser not on top of it, wipe your feet on the mat before you come inside, the big bad wolf is not knocking at our door, use your silverware, wipe your mouth off with your napkin not your sleeve, stop shouting, speak up, share your toys, pick up your books, stop hitting, kicking, whining, settle down, don’t run, calm down, buck up, leave your scab alone, pick up the mess you made, your milk is to drink not pour on the floor, turn out the lights when you’re not using them, say grace before meals,

stop blowing bubbles in your chocolate milk, even princesses have to follow rules, remember to say please and thank you, chew with your mouth closed, don’t put your shoes on the furniture, eat your vegetables or you won’t get dessert, don’t laugh when someone gets hurt…

     We don’t like it when people don’t listen to us.  We want to be heard, have our thoughts and concerns noted, and our feelings accepted as valid.  When we have to repeat things over and over again, we get frustrated, whether young or old. 

 

     Sometimes I’m so busy critiquing my own thoughts and actions as well as correcting and guiding those of the young people left in my care (and truth be told, also advising and making suggestions to my husband) that I’m not as good about listening.  I know.  It's shocking, right?

     I make the same mistake in my prayer life all the time.  I go to God with all of these people, concerns, situations, and requests, but I don’t spend nearly as much time being still and listening.  It’s so flipping difficult sometimes to allow myself time to be in the Presence of the Lord rather than bouncing from one item on my to-do list to another.

     How many times does God have to tell us to slow down, make time for Him, pray, listen more, worry less, accept His unconditional love though we don’t deserve it and could do nothing to earn it, receive His limitless mercy, embrace His forgiveness and compassion, know that He will never leave us or forsake us, be not afraid, let Him be our strength, He will turn our tears into dancing, our night into day, our struggles into blessings…?  

     This is one of my all-time favorite songs, definitely a perfect one for my life, by the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir.  It's called "So You Would Know," but you'll recognize a number of questions asked in a totally different way.

     

Fatherless

     Frighteningly realistic and suspenseful, Fatherless is the first book in what has been perfectly labeled as “the American tragedy in trilogy.”  It immediately grabbed my attention and kept me intrigued throughout.  I know it’s good when I don’t want to get to the end of the first book before the next one is available and ready to be read.

     I can empathize with and at the same time be horrified by many of the decisions we make as Christians in the world today when it comes to our families, our friends, our workplace, our faith community.  It’s all-too-easy to get lost on that slippery slope of moral relativity rather than seeking the Gospel Truth, which doesn’t change according to modern opinion or current trends.    

      The stories powerfully illustrate and verify the authenticity of many descriptions and assessments included about the mainstream media, corporate America, the popular culture, and watered down Catholic teachings most prominent in our times.  The other main characters are mostly laity with families of their own to care for and shepherd.  The people in these novels vary quite a bit when it comes to their knowledge of Church teachings (or lack thereof), their devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ, their practice of the faith, and the life choices they make as a result.    

     Some of the family struggles and situations are familiar enough to make me uncomfortable and reflective.  Having two parents who were cradle Catholics and practiced the faith throughout their lives while also knowing a number of people who have fallen away from the Church for a variety of reasons helped me identify with a number of the characters and families in Fatherless.  My father used to be a high-level sales executive for major pharmaceutical corporation, so the ethical, moral, and faith questions raised in this book through many of the situations and characters really hit home. 
     John Sweeney, one of the main characters and narrators who serves as a primary link connecting the many families in these books, is a Roman Catholic priest.  Fr. Sweeney is young, fresh out of seminary, and in many ways inexperienced in pastoral care at the start of the first book, but this adds quite a bit of interest and insight into the life of the consecrated religious, particularly priests, and the unique opportunities and challenges they face in their vocation to shepherd the flock entrusted to their care.  A major crisis of faith inspires him to take some time away to discern if the vocation he’s chosen is really where God wants and needs him to be.

     When I read that the author Brian J. Gail is a former semi-pro athlete, Madison Ave. ad man, and Fortune 500 senior executive, I was completely blown away that a man so steeped in the culture of corporate America, mainstream media, and all that comes with it has been incredibly vulnerable, honest, and even critical of the world he has been a part of for so long, even under the veil of fiction. 

     In some ways, I feel that these books tell part of my dad’s life story.  They have given me a much deeper insight into the professional and personal challenges he and countless others in his generation (and the following one) struggle with.  Brian J. Gail gives voice to the questions, concerns, and torments whirling about in the hearts of many men and women of faith.  Clearly, this author is someone who understands companies that regularly tempt people to compromise their values and/or change them under pressure.

     So much of what’s in these pages has actually happened, is happening now, and/or will take place in the not-too-distant future.  The truth pharmaceutical companies hide about the side effects of their products, the lies promoted and promulgated through advertising, the media, and government, along with the permanent scars left by a rampant culture of death that embraces everything from abortion to euthanasia as convenient, revolutionary, advanced, and scariest of all they tout these scientific discoveries and technologies as being: humane, moral, and ethical.  This skewed view of Creation and man’s manipulation of what God has made shows that the interconnectedness of people, their influence on others, and their relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ (or lack thereof) are of greater consequence in time and eternity than appears at first glance. 

     Reading these novels has reminded me that we have so many opportunities to do the right thing, to choose life, to bring about healing where there is great pain, possibly even suffering that we have unintentionally caused.  What seems like the end of a relationship, a calling, a career, a dream can so often be a new beginning.      

     This trilogy raises some vital questions: Who determines our worth?  Who do we trust and what does that say about who we are and what matters most to us?  Who do we turn to for answers, guidance, and advice?

     Depending on the answers to those questions and the choices made because of them we have a responsibility and accountability to others and to God.  Our choices have consequences for others as well as ourselves.  Are we true to ourselves or are we more devoted to discovering and upholding Truth=God?

     What’s worth putting everything on the line for?  No need to answer with words.  The choices we make and actions we take show clearly what or whom we value above everything and everyone else.  What example, what values, what legacy are you leaving by the way you live your life?  What impact is it having on those around you?  What impact will it have on the generations to come?
     For more information about Fatherless, to purchase a copy of this book (paperback or Kindle), or read more about the author, or "the American tragedy in Trilogy," check out this website. 
     This post is linked to the May 2013 issue of New Evangelists Monthly.  

Lessons in Empathy (My Nanny Diary)

Because I've had lots of experience taking care of children of all ages, I sometimes think that I shouldn't become impatient, tired, exasperated…because I know what to expect, to some extent, and I don’t have the responsibility of raising the kids from conception to age 18.  I do feel a very strong sense of responsibility being the adult in charge of such precious, dependent, lovable, vulnerable, and impressionable people.  I can’t think of many more important vocations than being a nurturing, loving parent and/or caregiver.       

    
I know that moms and dads often feel worn out, even knowing what to expect, but I think I tend to get in trouble by falling into thinking that because I'm taking care of the kids for a designated amount of time in a day, instead of being responsible for them 24/7 like their parents, that I somehow shouldn't experience any of the same negative emotions, challenges, and such when faced with the natural struggles that ensue with teething infants and tantrum-prone toddlers.  Upon closer examination, the notion is quite ridiculous that anyone would be able to endure such situations and circumstances at length without feeling the least bit worn out, tired, confused, exasperated, and/or stressed.   

    
It doesn't really make sense to think that any job will be without conflicts or crises.  There will always be trials and days that are more problematic than others.  Ultimately, I know that beating myself up for not being Mary Poppins isn't going to help the situation or make me more relaxed.  I do know that it’s utterly impossible to put everything I’ve read and learned about children over the years into practice every minute of every day, so at least I’ve gotten that particular lesson through my head and have removed it from my unwritten childcare goals. 

A really big problem is that I tend to discount the fact that, although we don't have children of our own, we do have an awful lot going on in our lives outside of work that requires a great deal of time, energy, work, and such that isn't necessarily part of other people's lives. 

    
We each have our own crosses, challenges, and difficulties in life, and saying ours are worse than someone else's instead of just being different (while likely trying in other ways) doesn't seem to be wise or very compassionate. We rarely, if ever, know all of the factors contributing to someone's suffering, so who are we to say ours is more significant or deeper? There is something to be said about being grateful for what we're given as well as for the things we don't have to deal with, but that can be done without making light of another person's pain, be it in mind, body, or spirit. 

    
Lord, help us be compassionate to all we meet.  We often have no idea of the crosses they are carrying, the attention, love, affection, understanding or the healing they are in need of.  Open our eyes and our hearts this Lent so we are aware of the suffering around us and are willing to let You work in and through us to alleviate it.  Amen.

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 84)

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Total Request Live Throughout the day, I sing a wide variety of songs to the girls.  Some are Broadway show tunes, others are from animated Disney movies, Veggie Tales, songs I learned when I was young, and those I’ve learned while nannying, working at school, attending teacher workshops, etc.  I have quite the repertoire without making any up on my own, but those can be amusing, too.         

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Making Up the Words One example of why I am better suited to write children’s books than children’s songs occurred many years ago when I was nannying for “my two little guys.”  I would sing the “If your happy and you know it” song, then continue by adding in whatever the boys were doing at the time.  For example, “if you’re happy and you know it, play with a train.”  My youngest sister Theresa was hanging out with me and the boys that day, and she got to hear what has got to be one of my most hilarious spur-of-the-moment kids’ song concoctions yet.  I kept singing and doing the running commentary of what the boys were doing until I cheerfully sang, “If you’re happy and you know it, knock your balls!”  One of the boys was playing with two of the plastic spheres from his shape sorter toy and was making noise with them.  And that’s yet another reason why I like writing things down—because it gives me the opportunity to revise.

           

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“It’s Peepee on the Potty Time!”  Over the past few weeks, I’ve created and been using a short, catchy (in that annoying will get stuck in your head and be requested over and over again by any toddlers in your vicinity kind of way) song to encourage children to use the potty. 

“It’s peepee on the potty time!! peepee on the potty time!!

Peepee on the potty, peepee on the potty,

peepee on the potty like a big girl now.”

     After using the first two lines of the intro (which is all in caps above), you do the next two lines super fast like the banana says “peanutbutterjelly” is likewhen you’re saying “peepeeonthepotty” all run together.  Here’s the video and a warning: you really should not play the following video clip if you tend to get songs stuck in your head (unless, of course, you’re desperate enough to try anything that might work to encourage potty training to go more smoothly.)

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Tutoring in Math  I went to a Math tutor my senior year of high school because I had the misfortune of getting the same teacher I’d had (and was not impressed with) my freshmen year.  Fortunately the tutor was really sweet and helped me a ton with my Trigonometry.  We sat at her dining room table to do work while her husband watched their young children in another room on the same floor.  The bathroom was very close to the dining room, so one evening we overheard a discussion while their dad was potty training one of the boys.  The woman apologized, and I just burst out laughing.  I wasn’t the least bit offended or put-off that we occasionally heard sounds of little ones talking or learning to use the potty, as it were.  At the end of the school year, I presented my tutor with a parody I had done taking Math terms and giving them alternative definitions.  I titled it “Potty Math.”  She thought it was hilarious and hung it up in their bathroom. 

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Make the best of it. I had to drive across town to get to my math tutor’s house, which happened to be around the corner from family friends of ours.  Knowing that the wife was suffering from cancer and had some really rough days, each week I’d make her a card and sometimes include a little gift and leave it in her mailbox once I left the tutor’s house.  I kept making these drops anonymously until the school year was over.  Since I was going away for the summer, I thought I should reveal myself, mainly so the woman wouldn’t think I’d forgotten about her or didn’t care when something didn’t show up weekly for her.  She invited my mom, some other friends, and me over for lunch one day as a thank you.  It was nice to share in person the love, laughter, and prayers I’d expressed through cards, letters, and gifts.    

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My Husband: Not much of a linguist Kevin is often coming up with made-up words that he tries to pass off as him speaking in a foreign language.  He does know the correct pronunciation for some words in a few different languages, but he wings it from there with limited success and lots of laughter.  When struggling with someone who was asking questions that were directed to my husband rather than another department who would be able to answer them, he came up with a new phrase he shared with his co-worker once the call had ended.  No hablo give-a damn-o which Kevin says means: ‘I don’t know’ in Spanish.  I love him dearly, but his ‘not knowing’ is sometimes blatantly obvious in any language.   

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We both made the team! Thank you everyone for the prayers you sent our way.  Things went very well with the audition.  Check back later for more details, but know that the Potters are part of the team now.

Head over to Conversion Diary, to read Jen Fulwiler's wonderful tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday.