You Are Not Alone & A Partial Potter Update

Dear Family and friends,

     We want to be there for you always.  We want you to feel comfortable calling us for whatever you need   whenever you need it, especially during the most difficult times! For those of you who we have been there for at least some of the time, please know that you are not partially responsible or at all responsible for the times when Kevin and I are feeling worn out and/or rundown.  Even if we have not been as good about calling, visiting, or checking in with you lately as we could be, please rest assured that you our on our minds, in our thoughts, and certainly in our prayers.

     Our struggle has a lot more to do with being upset for the times we don't feel we have much to offer anyone, even each other and those closest to us.  We struggle with feeling like we’re not enough, not who anyone wants or needs us to be, not living up to what anyone would like or expects of us.  It’s painful when some of the ways we’d like to be able to reach out and help others, we no longer are in a position, physically, emotionally, spiritually, or financially that we can offer the assistance we’d like to offer and in many cases have given in the past. 

Still Searching

     Kevin’s been looking for work ever since he lost his job on Labor Day, and though he’s had some good leads and applied to a number of places, nothing’s come together, yet.  He’s networked with some great people and been given some prospects to check out.  He’s kept an open mind, kept praying, and kept pounding the pavement.  Last week, he received the letter saying that he’d been sent his last unemployment check.  He was hit with a wave of frustration, anger, and anxiety that he hasn’t found a new job, yet.    

     Regardless of what other things are going on, I’ve needed to take pretty much every subbing job I’ve been offered due to our financial situation.  Don't get me wrong; I love working at school with different age groups of children and a number of great teachers teachers.  I’ve learned a great deal and have come to appreciate the Montessori method as an ideal way of educating children.  However, as anyone who has served as a substitute knows, it can be more exhausting than usual when you don’t yet know the routine or all of the kids and specifics of the role played by the person for whom you’re filling that day.  There’s so much to try and remember and learning on-the-go can be a challenge in an environment where there are already a significant number of important Department of Social Services rules, regulations, and procedures to keep in mind. 

Running on Empty

     Over the past couple months, I’ve most often felt like I’ve been running on empty.  We’ve had so much going on that it’s been hard to catch my breath.  I’m behind on a number of things as is really obvious if you look around our apartment or consult any one of my “To Do Lists.”  I can’t seem to relax much, because I always feel like there’s something else I should be doing.  Yes, I know that I just finished reading Crash the Chatterbox twice in a row, but it’s so flipping difficult to put it into practice day in and day out. 

     Anywhere I look, I see and think about something I should be doing for our marriage, our family, friends, to improve our financial situation, to straighten up our place, to minister to others, and it just makes me more discouraged when I get so caught up in all that I could be doing and some of what I should be doing that I haven’t yet. 

Enjoy the Ride

     A Cursillo friend of ours who is single and lives alone was recovering from knee surgery and then had shoulder surgery at the beginning of April and needed help with rides to and from her physical therapy appointments, and such.  I think of her regularly and get upset with myself for not having checked up on her recently or at the very least sent her a card.  Kevin and I were blessed to be in position that we could help. 

     I showed up to give our friend a ride and couldn’t pull it together soon enough before I got to her place that she could tell I’d been crying.  There are few things that make me feel as ridiculous and pitiful as feeling the least bit sad or depressed when I’m well aware that others are suffering way worse than I am.       

     Did my friend get in the car and ask me what could I possibly have to cry about since I didn’t recently have to have a series of IV infusions just so I could finally have the knee surgery, followed by shoulder surgery after a car accident a year before that wasn’t even my fault?  No.  Did she tell me that I should be wildly rejoicing because I’m able to move around without difficulty, have a husband who loves me, don’t live alone, have family nearby, and friends who care about me?  No.  She got in the car and was genuinely concerned about what had happened that made me feel so upset that I am not enough in any area of my life and that I can’t seem to do anything right.  (Unfortunately, these are beliefs about myself I have struggled with most of my life that sometimes drag me down further than other times.  I’m better at fighting them sometimes than others).

     I am amazed by this woman’s fighting spirit and can do attitude.  She is persistent and insistent that she get through these surgeries and get back to an active lifestyle.  She’s assured those of us who used to gather weekly for prayer group that come summer, she’ll be running circles around all of us again.       

An Influx of Family Visits

     The week leading up to the Women’s Cursillo Weekend was even busier than I’d expected it to be and more tiring.  Holy Week is usually a full time for us anyway, but we had even more packed in this time.  On Good Friday, Kevin’s sister and brother-in-law stopped in while driving down to meet their newest granddaughter, so we spent some time with them before heading to church for the Veneration of the Cross.  Saturday, we met them in the morning, then we headed over to my sister’s house to see my uncle, aunt, two cousins, and their two friends, who were in town for lunch and an afternoon visit at my sister’s house before they drove back home to upstate New York.  That evening, Kevin and I attended the Easter Vigil at St. Michael’s, which was quite beautiful, as always. 

A Window of Opportunity

     I spent a good chunk of time that week putting together blog posts, journal entries, and writing a very long letter to Michele Morris, so I could send her a package of things during the two weeks after Easter when she can receive, read, and respond to mail to let her know what’s going on in our area with Cursillo, mutual family and friends, etc.  In the letter I sent her at Christmastime, I’d let her know that I would be serving on team for Cursillo on the weekend of Divine Mercy Sunday, so I knew she would be praying for everyone participating on the weekend, especially during that time. 

A Loved One Lost

     The Wednesday before Cursillo began, Kevin and I had a funeral to attend that morning at Epiphany on the Southside.  Kay Marie Geiger, who had been really sick with cancer for a number of months, went to be with the Lord, so we gathered with her family, many friends, and Cursillistas to celebrate her life and legacy.  (Life has been so crazy, busy, and hectic since then that I have yet to finish writing my tribute to this wonderful woman who has been such a loving, compassionate presence in our lives). 

Now is the Time: ACTION

     The evening of April 23, 2014, we spent several hours at Shalom House unloading cars, moving lots of furniture and beginning to get things set-up for the Women’s Cursillo Weekend that took place April 24-27. 
Thursday, another team member and I arrived back at Shalom House in the early afternoon to continue preparations.  There was so much running around and taking care of things that I managed to go the entire weekend without having a really in-depth, intimate conversation with anyone at all.  I have a hard time keeping up with all the running if I don’t connect with anyone on a deeper level than discussing the weather, meals, logistics, and other surface stuff. 

     Everyone on our team was wonderful, pitching in wherever needed, regardless of their assigned roles, but we were down an “angel,” those responsible for making sure everything and everyone is where they need to be and where it needs to be at or by the time specified.  One of our angels had to have a double mastectomy a few weeks before the Cursillo, and she blessed us by coming for a few hours when she was up to it and to give her talk, but her work and offerings during the weekend itself, understandably, needed to be predominantly prayers since she was still recovering from surgery.  I should have visited her or sent her a few cards by now, but again, I haven’t.  She’s certainly been in my thoughts and prayers, though. 

Sharing Straight from the Heart

     Two of the talks given on Divine Mercy Sunday as part of the Cursillo weekend I knew would hit me really hard.  One talk was given by a woman who bravely shared the story of how she and her family have felt God’s presence and love in the months since last September when their youngest son committed suicide.  The second talk was given by the woman who has also found strength and hope in the Cursillo community when she was diagnosed for a second time with breast cancer and this time had a double mastectomy and will also need chemo and radiation.  I made it through each of these talks by sitting in the way back of the room, letting the tears stream down my face, then leaving the minute they were finished to go back and have some quiet time to myself in our room.  By Sunday evening, I was physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted and ready to collapse.

While You Were Gone

     Within the next couple days, we learned of troubling news about some of our close friends.  One friend, whom I had invited to come on the weekend and who discerned that this wasn’t the right time for her to go, informed us that the previous Thursday she’d found out that her ex-husband had been found dead in his apartment.  He had not been in good health, nor had he taken very good care of himself, but it was still unexpected and, of course, hard on the family.  Kevin and I devoted an evening to help clean out the ex-husband’s apartment, which we needed a mask and gloves just to enter.  There were a number of things that reminded me of my dad and his declining health and struggles at the end of his life, so that wasn’t easy to manage.  We attended the funeral Mass held at church which was quite beautiful, but again reminded me of losing my dad at a young age.   

Not much rest for the weary

     The Monday after the weekend, I slept and rested most of the day, then met several team members and their spouses back up at Shalom House to clean up, move furniture back, organize and put supplies away, and such. 

     We also found out that a good friend of ours had been hospitalized for the second time in one week.  That Tuesday, Kevin and I were on our way to Mass at St. Benedict’s.  Actually we were in the parking lot, when I happened to check my phone before going into 5:30 Mass.  I’d already turned the ringer off, but something nudged me to look at my phone again before heading in.  Our friend whose husband had been hospitalized called asking if we would be so kind as to pick up dinner and bring it over to her at the hospital.  We left to go be there for our friends while they were facing a difficult time. 

We’ve got your back

     As we've said to the dear friends of ours who are fighting some tough stuff, including one of them having recently been diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer, it's nice to be able to do some practical things to let you both know we love you.  Sometimes, it's hard to know how to help or what to do, so having specific things to take care of makes it easier.  I need or ride or a meal or for you to get this from the store for me are tangible things we can do to offer assistance.  We are saddened by the burdens that some of our family and friends are carrying, but we are also very hopeful for each one of you in the midst of these crises. 

Prayers and Presence

     Two of our friends each lost a parent in the past couple months.  We weren’t able to attend either of those funerals.  Another couple we know through Cursillo lost their 20 year old son who committed suicide a couple weeks ago.  When we arrived at the Ultreya that Friday evening that was at their parish, they were outside to receive an outpouring of love, hugs, and condolences.   I’ve prayed for all of these people, their loved ones lost, and the families in mourning.  I’ve given each of our friends hugs when I’ve seen them in person and expressed my sorrow over their losses, but I have yet to send any of them sympathy cards or letters.

More than meets the eye   

     There are many crosses Kevin and I are carrying which only a handful of people know about at all.  Only a select few people know the weight and depth of these burdens and what we’ve gone through to keep moving forward despite them.   It's been a struggle for us to trust in God in these areas when it seems like there's no change or improvement, not just recently, but over a period of many months, even years.

     Seeing the hope and courage of others in the face of major challenges and drawbacks inspires both of us.  We are grateful that family and friends share their joys and sorrows with us.  That's how it's supposed to be.

Screening & Selecting a Child Care Provider (My Nanny Diary)

Do you know the most important questions to ask when interviewing a person whom you’re considering leaving alone with your children for hours at a time? 

  
If not, you're not alone.  Most parents don't know all the pertinent things to ask and look for when selecting the right child care scenario for their family.  Fortunately, there are many resources available to help you.  

 
Below are links to some articles I’ve found that have a good set of pertinent questions to ask when interviewing the person who will be responsible for your child’s health, safety, and well-being while you are at work.  Each list is specific to the type of child care scenario sought after, so some of the questions overlap.   

An Extensive List of Pertinent Interview Questions for Finding the Best Nanny for Your Family

A good list of questions for interviewing a Child Care Provider 

In-Home Child Care Provider questionnaire and checklist

How to Interview a Daycare Provider

A variety of nanny agencies have done well because for a fee, they will take care of the criminal and personal background checks, references, pull up DMV records, and have the individual applying to be a nanny fill out a sea of paperwork indicating her (or his) experience with children, early child development training, her preferred work environment, what licensing and training she has in CPR, First Aid, Medication Administration Training…so parents don't have to do that part of the search.  (I say she, because the vast number of nannies I know are female, but I know there are some males who have also stepped up to the plate to devote themselves to providing excellent child care.)

  
The first two nanny positions I found out of college were through a local Christian nanny agency that took care of screening applicants and then passing a brief summary of their info and qualifications along to families in their database looking for an independent child care professional.  From there on out, it was up to me to decide with and for whom I wanted to work, the number of hours per week, terms, conditions, fees, etc. of the contract we agreed upon. 

  
I was impressed by how thorough the questioning, scanning, and screening process was on the agency’s side.  As I believe should be the case, those at the agency and the parents who hired them knew enough about how important it is to hire someone who is reliable, responsible, capable, hard-working, experienced with children and infant development, and basic safety that they wanted to make sure they asked the right questions and got the necessary answers. 

  
Of course, not every family can afford to pay a fee so someone else will do the proper screening and background checks, so that is often something that falls on the parents to take care of as part of their interviewing process.

The above links can help get you going in the right direction and may very well bring up some issues and concerns that might not have occurred to you.  Also, talking with friends who have found child care they're happy with and networking with other parents in your area can help you narrow down what it is that you're looking for and may help you figure out the best way of finding that person.

In a blog post that will appear in May 2016, I will explain and give links to specific agencies and websites that will tell you how child care providers in your area rate in terms of safety and quality of services provided.

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 128) about inspiration, making a difference, and persevering

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Grace is…believing you’re loved even when you can’t feel it, knowing that living out our vocations requires ongoing discernment and sacrifice, people recognizing and affirming those who have spent time away from the workplace to take care of family and friends at home, the acknowledgement of anyone that raising a family is the most challenging and important job there is for married couples and parents, learning about inspiring people who use their talents to serve others, being able to pray for and with others…

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What’s a Life Worth? Late last night, I finished reading the amazing Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder.  The book is about a remarkable man, Dr. Paul Farmer, whose passion for treating people in poverty (starting with those he served in Haiti) with the utmost dignity, respect, and the best medical technologies available literally impacted and dramatically improved treatment of infectious diseases such as tuberculosis and HIV/AIDS in poor countries around the world. 

     "...the idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that's wrong with the world" is the essence of Dr. Paul Farmer’s philosophy.  I know a book is very well-written when, though it’s about a topic as depressing as rampant illness affecting the poorest of the poor, I’m left feeling hopeful, inspired, and completely in awe of what happens when one man insists and believes that every life is of incalculable value; every person is worth treating; and every individual deserves the best we have to give, whatever the cost to ourselves or others.  

.   God did it again.  I was led to read this book at the perfect time. The pastor of our church and a group of parishioners are on yet another mission trip in Haiti this week, visiting our twin parish in Dos Palais, which is supposed to be opening a medical clinic soon.  

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Noisy Toys After a three day weekend, suddenly a vast number of battery-operated 'noisy toys' no longer make sounds. When Sunshine told me all of the batteries just ran down, I rolled with it, and told her if they were taken out and not replaced it must have been for a good reason.  My guess is that their parents, like any adults who have a reasonable amount of sanity somewhere on their top ten list of most important attributes of a caregiver, can only take but so much of Rock'n'Roll Elmo, an endless loop of "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider," and toys that add more sound effects that make it seem like their children are actually being raised in a barn. 

     I recall quite clearly a few toys that the boys loved to play with that would “disappear” at random intervals when I deemed my sanity more important than their need to press the fire engine’s siren another bazillion times.  I found it particularly taxing when the battery was about to run out on the sea-themed exersaucer activity center.  One of the boys picked up on how much it annoyed me to hear a painfully slow, scratchy version of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” that was the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard for me.  Kid was smart.  When he was upset with me for failing to concede in any way, shape, or form that only the exersaucer, not the entire universe revolved around him, he would purposely press the star and watch me cringe.  
     You will never convince me that kids aren’t clever enough to torture their parents and caregivers on purpose from a surprisingly young age. I know better.

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Calling for Back-up The other day was a 3+ time-outs, not enough sleep (them or me), and call for at least one of our favorite visitors kind of nannying day.  I feared that after five hours of feeding, cleaning up after, playing with, and refereeing three young girls in a limited space I was likely to run completely out of energy and patience sometime in the remaining four and a half hours before their mom would get home from work. 

Cuties with Contraband

     I’m sure it would have helped somewhat for at least a while if we could have gotten outside, but it’s been a couple weeks since I have been able to locate shoes that fit two of them (over socks) which I consider mandatory, not optional when playing outside, especially when the temperature is under 70.  I also hesitate to do much outdoors when the oldest is racking up time-outs, because I can’t trust that we’d get too far on a walk or other outdoor activity before a total and complete meltdown would make it necessary for me to get all three of them inside.        
     Fortunately, Kevin came over late that afternoon in case there was a repeat after naps (theirs, not mine) of I-want-whatever-you’re-playing-with-when-you’re-playing-with-it-and-I’m-going-to-grab-it-from-you-and-knock-you-over-to-get-it Advanced Pre-school Aerobics/Kung Fu Class. 
     The girls only napped for an hour, so it was even more vital that I had back-up on the way.  Kevin and I had the girls running, playing, giggling, and in much better moods than any of us were in that morning. Thank God Almighty for the gift of my husband, and I do!  To read about more of my adventures as a nanny, check out posts from My Nanny Diary.

    

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JAM Session Highlights Our parish has a really great, very successful ecumenical Job Assistance Ministry (JAM) which has helped hundreds of people in our area find employment.  Kevin’s been going to the meetings regularly as he searches for a new job.  The numerous professionals and business people involved offer a wide variety of career services for free that other recruiters and job search agencies charge hundreds of dollars to do.  Check out the ministry website, activities, and successes here. 

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My Guy Gets It This past Wednesday at JAM, the speaker was swamped with questions after his
presentation, so Kevin took it upon himself to approach a woman wondering what to put on her resume since he has spent several hours working, revising, and rewriting his with the recent tips, tricks, and trends he’s learned.  Kevin’s a friendly, helpful guy, so this gesture didn’t surprise me.  What I was really excited to hear is that he reassured this woman, who has gone 17 years without a paying job, that raising a family is the hardest and most important job anyone can do and made it abundantly clear to her that she must have a number of marketable skills from such a feat that will translate into the work world.  While they were talking, another woman came up who’s been out of the workforce for 21 years raising her family.  I am beyond grateful that my husband gets what so many men and women don’t: there’s nothing more challenging or more essential than raising a family, and those who devote their time and energy to that are generally hardworking, very talented individuals who deserve respect. 
    

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Hope and Help for the Philippines This is a very good article on what has happened in the Philippines and what is being done to help the many victims of Super Typhoon Haiyan.  There are links in the article of what organizations are already in place to help and how you can donate to the effort.    

     Lord, please open our hearts and minds to do and be what you need us to in order to alleviate the suffering that is taking place in the Philippines right now. 

                  

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

Passing Along the Faith: the Legacy of Walter Carlin Barrett Sr.

     This past Tuesday I attended a beautiful funeral Mass for Walter Carlin Barrett Senior, who passed away on July 24, 2013 at the ripe old age of 93.  I never met Walter, and I mostly know about his son from others in our Diocese who think very highly of him.  The Holy Spirit nudged to go to the funeral even though I didn’t personally know the family and had never been to Holy Rosary Catholic Church.    

     I ended up sitting with a couple friends from St. Michael’s.  There were a number of priests, deacons, seminarians, as well as our bishop in attendance.  The church was completely full.  The choir was amazing.  There’s so much you can tell about a person from the people who gather at his funeral. 

     I was really impressed that Monsignor Walter Barrett presided at his own father’s funeral Mass.  He did a wonderful homily that was an amusing, loving affirmation of his father’s life and legacy.  Walter Barrett Sr. was a man who put the Lord first in his life and was completely devoted to his family.  When he was younger, he thought about becoming a minister.  Later on, he told his son that he’d stolen his vocation.

     “Wait til your father comes home,” their mother would say.  When they heard their dad wiping his feet on the mat outside the door, that was their signal to straighten up and behave.  Monsignor Barrett talked about the faith and grace with which his father brought people together.  He was born in 1919 and lived at a time when segregation was the norm and prejudice was running rampant.

     As a hard worker, who continued working until his health began to fail.  He provided for his family, sometimes working two jobs at a time if that’s what it took to make ends meet.

     Monsignor Barrett’s earliest memory of his father was of him reading the Bible to him at bedtime when he was a young child.  His dad was head of the household and would lead the way when the family walked to Mass.  When they did get a car, his father would always pick people up who he saw walking along the side of the road, even though five of them were already in the car.  They’d scoot over and Walter would drive the person wherever he needed to go before they’d go on to their originally intended destination. 

     He supported Walter and his brother and sister going to Catholic schools for their education.  Most importantly Walter Barrett Sr. lived the Gospel.  Walter was said to be a man of few words, which was fine, because his example as a beloved son of God, a devout follower of Christ, a faithful husband, and father spoke volumes. 

     Monsignor Barrett said his family had been hassling him because he’d told them he figured only about 60 people would show up for the funeral since Walter had outlived many of his family members and quite a few of his friends.  I’m not sure how many the church can hold, but it was definitely filled to capacity.

     Most Reverend Bishop DiLorenzo, a number of people from the Pastoral center, the staff members of the cluster of parishes Monsignor Barrett oversees in Hampton, and countless people from parishes around the Diocese came to honor the legacy of Walter Barrett Sr.  The testimony to his life was the way he lived out his faith.

     I hope and pray that when my time comes to pass from this life into the next that the Lord and those who knew me will most of all remember the importance of drawing ever closer to the Christ. 

     One of the many reasons I believe the Holy Spirit led me to the Northside for the funeral Mass is because a woman from St. Michael’s parish recently told me that my dad had been part of the inspiration for the Rosary Prayer Group she started.  At his funeral, which this woman attended, it was mentioned that my dad always prayed the Rosary.

     I now have the blue bead Rosary he prayed with all the time, and I use it regularly.  One gift for which I am very grateful for from my parents and grandmothers in particular is the gift of the desire to put God first in life and as part of that having a strong devotion to the person who knew Jesus most intimately, the Blessed Mother.

     Walter Barrett Sr. walked with the Lord in this life and is likely rejoicing in His Presence for all eternity.  Here’s the link to his obituary and online guest book. 

     Lord, please grant comfort and peace to Walter Barrett Senior’s wife, children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, to his family and friends, and all who are mourning this man’s passing.  Give all who are grieving the loss of loved ones the peace which passes all understanding.  Open their hearts to You, who are both Holy Comforter and Wonderful Counselor.  

Leaving a Legacy & One Last Lecture

The Last Lecture was one of the books my dad read and had hung onto.  I put it on my bookshelf figuring I’d get around to it eventually.  I’ve been thinking of my dad James Niermeyer a lot lately because of Father’s Day and the time I’ve spent sorting through boxes of photos and memorabilia of his that I brought to our place after he passed away.  Another thing that’s brought my dad to mind is that I’ve been praying for a couple different families whose fathers recently passed away leaving their wives and young children behind. 

    
I know why my dad enjoyed this book: it’s about reaching your childhood dreams, making a difference in people’s lives, and leaving your mark on your family, friends, and colleagues.  Carnegie Mellon professor Randy Pausch was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and he did everything he could to really live the months he had left with his family and friends.  One of the things he worked on during his illness was a last lecture with tons of pictures and some of the main themes in his life and work.  He included the highlights and wisdom he would have shared with his children when they got a little older. 

It’s a fun look at how imagination and determination, a strong work ethic, and persistence can really pay off.  The stories and anecdotes he shares are amusing.  The Last Lecture definitely has the feel of a motivational speech, though with more personal details and universal values incorporated.  Here's a quick 10-minute reprise of The Last Lecture which he appeared on Oprah to give:
   
There are a few things to note that are vastly different from Randy Pausch’s life and my dad’s: not only was my father not a computer science guru, but he barely knew how to use a PC.  Electronics were not his thing at all.  My dad was the youngest (by 15 years) with three older brothers, so his childhood was a direct contrast in many ways to that of Pausch’s.  Sports and physical strength, then later on success in business were emphasized more than imagination and ingenuity the likes of which would land him working at Walt Disney as an Imagineer.         

    
Some of the clichés he uses remind me of those my dad would always say.  In reading The Last Lecture, I wondered what my dad’s main messages from his life would have been.  What would he have included if he gave one last talk before he passed away? 

    
I’m not sure of everything my father would have thought most important to share, but I know that faith would definitely have played a bigger role in his talk than it did in Pausch’s.  I am positive he would have told some of the hilarious stories about he and his brothers getting into trouble over the years.  He would probably have mentioned how much he looked up to each of them. 

    
I’m not sure of all of the messages he would have included for his three daughters, though.  I guess one of the biggest questions I have is: what would my dad’s talk have included after he’d retired from being one of the top executives at a major corporation, when he had long since lost his football player physique, and when he was faced with the certitude of an early death?  I know from our many talks and visits in the last few years of his life that he saw many things differently from the way he once did. 

    
It also makes me wonder what my “last lecture” would include, what main themes and messages from my life I’d insist on having in it.  Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why I felt this was the right time to read this book: I’d like to sit down sooner than later and figure out what’s most important and live in a way that’s evident in my relationships, work, how I spend my time and money. 

    
For me, discerning God’s will, carrying it out, glorifying Him, and bringing others closer to Him are what I want and try to build my life around.  One of the main prayers I have prayed over the years, I was inspired to write a while back: “Lord, please plant Your will in my heart and make it my deepest desire and most fervent longing,” along with: You, Lord, are ALL I have and You give me ALL I need.  My future is in Your Hands.  Lord, I pray for Your Will.     

   
Since we don’t always know when we’ll give our “last lecture,” we’re best off living today in a way that would embody the legacy we hope to leave for our loved ones and the generations to come.
   
This post is linked to the July 2013 edition of New Evangelists Monthly.

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 89)

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Trisha Needs a Nap It's been a long, busy week.  So long and tiring that even Vivi could tell I needed a nap and must be sleepy.  She knew this even before we made it to Friday. 

     At least it was nice enough the girls and I could all go out in the backyard for a bit on Tuesday.  One of many precious moments that day was hearing Vivi sing the French song I've been singing to them (without any prompting).  Later she charmed me with her version of "Sing Sweet Nightingale" from Cinderella.  Her rendition is quite endearing in an incoherent extra-consonants kind of way.

     The twins are still too flipping cute and interested in exploring for their own good.  They’ve been spitting, spraying, and chattering up a storm this week.  They’re both crawling around with ease and a determined curiosity that keeps me on my toes.      

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Way Off Broadway A good chunk of songs that I pretty much know by heart (ones that are of the fun to sing and dance to with kids variety) are Broadway show tunes.  My mom, sisters, and I have been known to burst into song at the dinner table, to the confusion and amusement of any first-time guests. 

     There’s really something to be said about learning the Broadway classics, as they are so often alluded to and parodied in countless genre.  If you haven’t taught young children some of the classic songs from, say White Christmas, Singin’ in the Rain, Funny Girl, or The Sound of Music, you’re really missing out on some wonderful educational opportunities, not to mention, magnificent free entertainment.  One of my favorite alternative renditions this week, Vivi sang out: “There’s a star in my heart, and I’m ready for love.”    

           

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Play-Doh: A wonderful toy with endless possibilities was mostly a saving grace this week.  Vivi enjoyed sitting in her high chair doing something her sisters aren’t old enough to do but try desperately to reach without success.  Only trouble is I made Play-Doh versions of Mickey and Minnie Mouse some day last week when it just so happened that the twins were both sleeping and Vivi had me all to herself.  Ever since playing with Play-Doh has become another occasion during which I am asked every few seconds to participate, even though I’m usually in the middle of doing something, such as changing a poopy diaper, feeding a hungry child, removing curious hands from cords, wires, and plastic bags… 

 

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Time to Clock Out I knew I was really worn out on the way home Thursday when I found myself thinking that it would be awesome if I could use some of Vivi’s Play-Doh to make a mute button, then wave her magic wand over it and have it work for maybe just five minutes at a time so I could collect my thoughts, go to the bathroom without a running interrogation or commentary on what I’m doing.          

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Motivational Speaker I can’t help but laugh when Vivi hears me peeing and starts cheering and clapping, like we do when she goes peepee sitting on the toilet.  Oh, would that such words of heartfelt encouragement declared so boldly weren’t simply for my prowess in correctly using a potty.

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Valentine’s Day: My Heart’s Desire Kevin asked if I wanted to meet him somewhere for dinner. I said yes, then called him back upon a few minutes reflection, and told him that all I was up for was to go directly home. I woke up with a sore throat in the morning, and the day was crazy/insane enough with the girls that I totally forgot about it. Fortunately, my loving husband understood and brought dinner home where it's mostly quiet and usually less hectic than a three ring circus.
     

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Feeling the Love Thanks to everyone who has called, sent cards, e-mails, and expressed their condolences regarding my grandmother’s passing.  I’m very, very grateful to have so many loving family members and friends!  I’m sorry I haven’t responded or let you know how much your love and prayers mean to my family and me.  I’ve been sick ever since last weekend, and I’ve barely had any energy by the time I get home in the early evening.  I’m praying that I’ll be completely refreshed over the three day weekend and can reconnect with everyone once I’m in a less zombie-like state.       

Check out Jen Fulwiler's stellar tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her super-popular blog Conversion Diary.

Lessons in Empathy (My Nanny Diary)

Because I've had lots of experience taking care of children of all ages, I sometimes think that I shouldn't become impatient, tired, exasperated…because I know what to expect, to some extent, and I don’t have the responsibility of raising the kids from conception to age 18.  I do feel a very strong sense of responsibility being the adult in charge of such precious, dependent, lovable, vulnerable, and impressionable people.  I can’t think of many more important vocations than being a nurturing, loving parent and/or caregiver.       

    
I know that moms and dads often feel worn out, even knowing what to expect, but I think I tend to get in trouble by falling into thinking that because I'm taking care of the kids for a designated amount of time in a day, instead of being responsible for them 24/7 like their parents, that I somehow shouldn't experience any of the same negative emotions, challenges, and such when faced with the natural struggles that ensue with teething infants and tantrum-prone toddlers.  Upon closer examination, the notion is quite ridiculous that anyone would be able to endure such situations and circumstances at length without feeling the least bit worn out, tired, confused, exasperated, and/or stressed.   

    
It doesn't really make sense to think that any job will be without conflicts or crises.  There will always be trials and days that are more problematic than others.  Ultimately, I know that beating myself up for not being Mary Poppins isn't going to help the situation or make me more relaxed.  I do know that it’s utterly impossible to put everything I’ve read and learned about children over the years into practice every minute of every day, so at least I’ve gotten that particular lesson through my head and have removed it from my unwritten childcare goals. 

A really big problem is that I tend to discount the fact that, although we don't have children of our own, we do have an awful lot going on in our lives outside of work that requires a great deal of time, energy, work, and such that isn't necessarily part of other people's lives. 

    
We each have our own crosses, challenges, and difficulties in life, and saying ours are worse than someone else's instead of just being different (while likely trying in other ways) doesn't seem to be wise or very compassionate. We rarely, if ever, know all of the factors contributing to someone's suffering, so who are we to say ours is more significant or deeper? There is something to be said about being grateful for what we're given as well as for the things we don't have to deal with, but that can be done without making light of another person's pain, be it in mind, body, or spirit. 

    
Lord, help us be compassionate to all we meet.  We often have no idea of the crosses they are carrying, the attention, love, affection, understanding or the healing they are in need of.  Open our eyes and our hearts this Lent so we are aware of the suffering around us and are willing to let You work in and through us to alleviate it.  Amen.

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 55)

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“Once Upon a Time” Camp this week was a super-smashing success!  I really enjoyed being lead teacher for a camp that combines some of my favorite things: reading, children, learning, and laughing.  We read a number of popular children’s books, made some cute pig and colorful big bad wolf puppets and got to take turns using them for improv shows.  Check out the other awesome camp offerings available through Richmond Montessori School here.  There’re still a few spaces left in a couple of my camps.     

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 Oh-so-sleepy It’s always difficult going back to work after vacation, but Kevin and I really like the people we work with which certainly makes it easier to return.  We were both really exhausted at the beginning of this week, though.  I can’t believe it’s gone by so quickly, that it was less than a week ago that we were still enjoying our time in Rochester, NY.  As always, on the drive up two weeks ago, I knew that it would seem like no time at all had passed and we’d find ourselves back in the car headed South.  And that’s precisely what happened.     

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Creative Writing Workshop for Adults is being offered in the Richmond area for one week.  Whether you have a lilt for the lyrical or a passion for prose, you’ll have your inner muse kicked into high gear as we explore the spectacular world of creative writing. We’ll see how music, art and stimulating our five senses inspire us to create literary masterpieces (or at least the beginnings of such). Discover your writing gifts and learn how to hone those literary skills.  Register online at Richmond Montessori School under "Summer Programs." 

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Dominating in Dominoes Kevin and I have a new gaming obsession thanks to his sisters: Mexican train dominoes.  We played it a couple different times with his sisters and their spouses, and we actually had a really good tutor in our corner the first time we played, which was nice because these games can get pretty hardcore.  John beat everyone when we all played together, so we had to have a rematch, and he won against just Kevin and me, too.  I bought a set so Kevin and I can play at home, too.  Justice will be served, dear brother :)      

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Friday Fish Fry Last Friday, Kevin, his three sisters, Deb, Wendy, and Chari, our beloved brother in Christ John, and I went to Schooner’s restaurant on the Genesee River to get a fish fry.  It was a beautiful evening to sit outside, be on the water, share a meal with loved ones, and even listen to a live band.    

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Blast from the Past Kevin had to laugh when he saw that a buddy of his from back in the day when he owned his own music studio was the singer/guitarist for the band playing at Schooner’s that evening.  As soon as Mickey Ames (guitarist/vocalist of The Fools) spotted Kevin, he announced that KP was in the house.  Since Kevin was no longer a drummer in a band, running sound for a band, and had gotten rid of his recording studio by the time we met, I feel that I’m getting a glimpse into his former life. 

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How Sweet It Is Ever since I was in utero, we’ve gone to Rochester, New York in the summer, but this was the first time that Kevin and I got to show someone who had never been there around, and it was fun.  John took the train up and arrived late a week ago last Tuesday to stay with us at the cottage for a few days.  The three of us really had a good time.  It was neat taking John to the many different places that have been significant for Kevin and me throughout the course of our relationship, and also introducing him to Kevin’s family, and to our favorite restaurants. Oh, yeah, and now he understands why we like being on the lake so much and has experienced some of what I've written about in the memoir I've been working on about the miraclous series of events God orchestrated to bring Kevin and I together and keep us best friends until we could date. 

Head over to Conversion Diary, to read Jen Fulwiler's wonderful tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday.

The 60 Minute Money Workout

The 60 Minute Money Workout is an easy-to-follow guide about how you and your family can get your finances into shape one hour at a time.  Ellie Kay, who is known as America’s Family Financial Expert®, describes in detail how you and your spouse and family can get out of debt, create a budget and stick to it, pay cash for your cars, save 10% and donate another 10% of your income to charitable organizations, while still saving for your kids’ college, and preparing for your retirement. 

     
This step-by-step tutorial on how to manage your money is very practical and quite feasible.  So often, it seems as if the task of financial planning, budgeting, and such is so complex we’re not sure where to begin.  Ellie Kay understands people’s tendency to be overwhelmed by the prospect of getting our financial house in order, and she addresses this inclination by providing one hour workouts that are easy to follow.  She is very upbeat, humorous, and matter-of-fact in her approach.  She lays out what to do in what order, and has broken the daunting prospect of remedying past financial decisions that weren’t the best, making better ones at present, and preparing wisely for the future. 
     
One of the things I really admire about The 60 Minute Money Workout is that Ellie Kay includes
personal stories about how and why she developed these strategies, then illustrates how she and her family have put them into practice with a great deal of success.  She’s included a plethora of resources on her website that are definitely worth checking out.
     
This military wife and her husband have seven children, so they’ve had to do some creative financing to make ends meet and get from the point of surviving to thriving.  Ellie Kay has put together this workbook complete with quizzes, and a one hour workout on each major topic that includes a: warm up, strength training, cardio burn, heart rate, and cool down.
     
I received The 60 Minute Money Workout for free from WaterBrook Multnomah PublishingGroup for this review.  To purchase your own copy of The 60 Minute Money Workout to get you finances in shape, click here.