Our Lady of Fatima Visions and Message

On May 13-October 13, 1917 the Blessed Mother appeared to three shepherd children, Lucia, Francisco, and Jacinta, six times in Fatima, Portugal.  To read about the Message of Fatima she gave to the children and the world, click on this link to the Vatican website on these apparitions.   

   
Both of my parents and my grandmothers have often prayed the Rosary and turned to Mary, the Mother of God, to ask for her prayers and intercession.  Devotion to the Blessed Mother has been a tradition in our family since long before I was born.  

   
The two prayers that I prayed daily in hopes to bring about Kevin's return to the Catholic faith in which he was raised were the Rosary and "The Prayer to Mary for the Conversion of a Loved One," a prayer which I first came across in this amazing book.

   
Kevin gave me a beautiful pink crystal Rosary even before he returned to the faith, because I’d asked for one.  I once said another Rosary wouldn’t mean as much, though I now have another one that means a great deal to me.  The Rosary case I have is still the one my mom gave me years ago, and the Rosary I keep with me all the time belonged to my dad.  He used it a lot during his life, so I’m very grateful to carry on the tradition of the Catholic faith and devotion to the Blessed Mother by using it regularly to pray for family, friends, and all who are suffering in mind, body, and spirit.
   
Here is the trailer from the original film The 13^th Day: The True Story of Fatima is a beautiful portrayal of the events including and surrounding these apparitions:

      

Favorite Books Read & Reviewed in 2013

Spiritual Non-fiction

God’s Bucket List*

Fresh Bread and Other Gifts of Spiritual Nourishment

A Mary Christmas 

Walking with Mary: A Journey from Nazareth to the Cross*

My Sisters the Saints*

 *Indicates a book review that was included as part of a Virtual Blog Tour 

Great Books on Faith, Marriage, Parenting, & Family Life

Pope Awesome and Other Stories 

Yes, God! 


Man to Man: Dad to Dad 

Fabulous Catholic Fiction Series

American Tragedy in Trilogy: 

Fatherless (Book 1)

Motherless (Book 2)

Childless (Book 3) 

I read and enjoyed all three, but I have only written and posted my review of the first one, thus far.  The other links are to purchase the books on Amazon rather than to reviews I've written.

Young Adult novels John Paul 2 High Series:

Catholic Reluctantly Book 1

Trespasses Against Us Book 2

Summer of My Dissent Book 3

Undercover Papist Book 4

I have read all four published books in the series, and I've even gotten to help out with and read a bit of still- to-be-published Book 5.  I have only posted my reviews of the first two books, but all four are really good reads.      

Yes, God! What Ordinary Families Can learn about Parenting Today's Vocation Stories

     Yes, God!  At long last there’s another book to add to your shelf by award-winning author, Catholic wife and homeschooling mother of seven, Susie Lloyd.  I was feeling a bit deprived after quickly devouring and being very amused by her two humor books: Please Don’t Drink the Holy Water and Forgive Me, Father, For I Have Kids.  Now the wait is over, and the fans rejoiced with a hardy “yes, God!”

     My husband and I met Susie Lloyd back in August 2009 at the Catholic Marketing Network Tradeshow.  She and one of her daughters were at a booth with books.  I could tell from our brief exchange with Susie that she has a great sense of humor.  We ended up buying both of her books after flipping through them, reading a bit and checking out the amusing cartoon drawings included.  

     Our train-ride back home was significantly more enjoyable than the one up, because I shared stories from the first book with Kevin, so we were both laughing much of the way.      

     I was excited to read on Facebook that Susie was coming out with another book, knowing that whatever it was about, I’d want to read it.  Interestingly enough, the topic is one with which Kevin and I have become even more familiar in recent years as two of our best friends/siblings in Christ have taken the next step in discerning religious vocations: one to the priesthood and the other to become a cloistered nun. 

     Yes, God!  What Ordinary Families Can Learn about Parenting from Today’s Vocation Stories takes a look at the families of ten different men and women who have discerned a call to the religious life.  Each chapter focuses on one aspect of saying yes to God that was particularly important in that individual’s family through some in-depth interviews and conversations.  

    The people chosen for this book are those who have learned to say yes to: duty, affection, strength, spiritual poverty, inheritance, the Greatest Commandment, generosity, humility, and patience.  They learned how to carry out these important aspects of their vocations from their families.  Susie explains how each way of saying yes to God has played out in these people’s lives as well as in her own life, faith, and family using her characteristic sense of humor and parenting wisdom, some of which was learned the hard way. 

     Is there an ideal method and/or model for preparing your children for religious vocations?  Not really.  The men and women in this book have come from a variety of circumstances, socioeconomic backgrounds, and even levels of involvement in the Catholic faith.  The common string among these stories is that each person, when it came right down to it answered yes when God called them to a religious vocation. 

     The message is one of hope, that you don’t have to have or be perfect parents to encourage your kids to say yes to the Lord.  By living out Biblical values and being true to whom God made them to be, the families of these five priests and five nuns (two of whom are biological sisters) helped prepare them for a life-long service to the Lord and His people. 

     Whether you come from or are part of a family in which the Catechism was drilled into your brain at an early age and you prayed Hail Mary’s until the cows came home (or in one family, at least settled down) or if you tried to learn something of Catholicism’s draw by actually drinking some holy water or playing a trick on your blind teacher, you’ll get something from these stories that will help you say yes to God in your own life and help others encourage the same submissiveness to the Lord in theirs.

    For more information and/or to order your own download or hard copy of Yes, God! click here.  (If you know a father of young girls who has said he plans on bypassing any vocation issues by telling his two youngest that they can start dating when the oldest is married, after which he will make the oldest enter a convent then you should probably just go ahead and give him a copy of this book.) 

Pope Awesome and Other Stories: How I Found God, Had Kids, and Lived to Tell the Tale by Cari Donaldson

Pope Awesome and Other Stories: How I Found God, Had Kids, and Lived to Tell the Tale is proof positive that God has a great sense of humor and that His plans for each of our lives are indeed much wilder and more wonderful than any we could come up with on our own.  I found snippets of my own family’s story, out-of-state relocation adventures, hilarious situations, and quotable quotes within this hilarious spiritual memoir.  There are several sections I read aloud to my husband, so we could share some much-needed laughter. 

   
Cari Donaldson tells about how she and her husband Ken went from being a Jesus wasn’t invited to our wedding, two-dog, double income, no kids household to a family who put God at the center, welcomed Jesus, Mary, and the Catholic Church into the fray, then gradually added six children to the mix. 

   
Because of the irony and ensuing laughter when it becomes clear God had other plans far beyond the ones the Donaldsons had, I kept thinking of this clip from the movie Evan Almighty about how to make God laugh: tell Him your plans.

   
It’s always fun to read and/or hear about another couple’s story, especially one that affirms that high school sweethearts can make great husbands.  (Kevin and I met when I was still in high school, too.)  The Lord so often works through our spouses to nudge us in the right direction or to ask us the question that will make us stop stewing and start doing.  Sometimes it’s easier to appreciate this quality than others.    

   
Cari certainly wasn’t prepared for her husband’s offhand comment apropos of nothing that he made on his thirtieth birthday: “A couple rugrats wouldn’t be so bad.”  Once recovered from the initial shock, she warmed up to the idea and decided she wanted the Miraculous Mother on her side for the journey.  With the Perfect Mom and a highly recommended obstetrician "Doc Ostrich Boots" onboard, they saddle up for a surprising “Whoa Nellie!” that has all of them shaking in their stirrups. 

   
Her husband isn’t the only one to come out with a humdinger in transit.  One day her intelligent four-year-old asked the question parents dread: “How did the baby get inside you?”  Cari gave a brief, age-appropriate description that her daughter ran with.  The daughter’s commentary went like this: “Mommy has a baby inside her.  It got there because Dad’s sperm cell and her egg cell SMASHED! together, and BAM! A baby was started!”  Her daughter’s birds and the bees for beginners with sound effects and gestures mini spectacle is unintentionally taken on the road.  This little skit assures that one elderly neighbor’s experience handing out candy to trick-or-treaters will never ever be the same. 

   
Thank goodness God doesn’t give up on us just because we try to run in the other direction as fast as we can.  Cari thought she and her husband were fleeing from God, but they later realized they were just taking a bit of a detour before they ended up right where the Lord most wanted and needed for them to be.

   
One morning, Prince Phillip, who bears a striking resemblance to their four-year-old son Joaquin, enters their bedroom with quite the assortment of makeshift weapons and offers to protect the kingdom.  Cari graciously accepts and asks the prince some questions about himself.  She does her best to hide her amusement when he informs her in a very serious manner that he is married to the queen, has six children, an abnormally long horse on which all of his kids can ride at once, and that his animals use jingle bells to alert him when an evil giraffe needs to be slain. 

   
Was this seasoned mother swept off her feet by a wee warrior in green, stripey, footie pajamas valiantly stepping forth to protect the kingdom?  The proper answer to that would be: “You had me at ‘Good morning, lady.  I am Prince Phillip.’” 

   
I highly recommend Pope Awesome and Other Stories.  The writing is great, and the stories hysterical. Plus, the conversions of two individuals and how they raise their self-proclaimed Pope Awesome the First and his posse are very inspiring.  To find out more about this book and/or to order your copy immediately, click here.  Want to keep up with the Donaldson clan?  Check out Cari's blog at www.clan-donaldson.com.  

     
Cari and Ken, the two of you and your pithy posse are indeed the champions riding off into the sunset in your passenger van, heading towards new adventures since you’ve let Jesus take the wheel.  Ride on at Godspeed! (And for the amusement of us all, write on as well!)

A Letter to Parents (My Nanny Diary)

Dear Mom and Dad,

If you think that no one other than the two of you will ever love your child and care for him as much as you do, except for God, you’re probably right.  Your child will always have a very special bond with you two, and your love is deeper, wider, and stronger for him than other people’s, and that isn’t likely to change, nor should it. 

From what I’ve read, heard, and observed, it’s perfectly normal to wonder if a child would be just as trusting, content, and relaxed to have pretty much anyone feed, burp, change, wash, clothe, hold, play with, read to, supervise, entertain…him.  The truth is their sense of trust, security, and love comes initially from the two of you.  Even when you are five kinds of tired and doing things only other parents or caregivers as sleep-deprived as you are would come up with, your child knows you love him, will take care of his basic needs, and not give up on him no matter how difficult he can be at times

The Lord chose you out of all of eternity to take care of this little one in body, mind, and soul.  The connection between parents and their children is much stronger than many realize.  I’ve had a number of parents, both mothers and fathers, make comments to me that indicate they feel their child is some sort of “traitor” when he warms up to me and seems comfortable with me taking care of him.  Actually “traitor” was the exact word one mother used when she came home on her lunch break the first day her son was in my care to check in and make sure everything was going well.  He was perfectly content, and she felt a little slighted as well as relieved and grateful.    

Another important aspect of life that children learn from very early on is that Mom and Dad show them who they can trust.  Part of your responsibility is to ensure that your child is always in reliable, competent care when one or both of you aren’t present.  You are your child’s most important, influential, and trusted teachers.  That’s not to say your child won’t challenge you frequently, but he knows that the bottom-line is that you’re the one who will appear in the middle of the night when he’s thirsty, hungry, teething, cold, having a nightmare...     

 

I don’t know what it feels like from your perspective to have a child you have sacrificed everything for run up and give someone not even related to you hugs and kisses, but I imagine it would make me feel envious and wonder where I rate if I were in your position.  If ever you feel a twinge of sadness, jealousy, or regret when your child runs up to someone else, remember that your child is able to love because God and the two of you loved him first and taught him how to trust by being trustworthy.    

The best performance review I’ve ever received from a parent is that they can tell I love their child “almost as much as they do.”  When one father said that, I knew he could understand how I feel and where I'm coming from.  Though I have loved each child for whom I have nannied as much as I possibly feel I am capable of love, I know that their parents love them even more, and I rejoice that’s the case. 

You’re right in thinking you’ll never find a babysitter or caregiver who loves your child as much as you do.  However, it is quite possible and very probable, that with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, you will find someone who really loves and adores your child and will give him the best care they know how while you two are at work.  It may mean searching a bit harder, interviewing more candidates, and/or training someone who has the potential to be a good fit, but it can be done.  It is possible to find quality child care you can trust and depend on to love and keep up with your little one. 

 

People have billions of ideas about what’s best for kids, but what they need most is to feel loved, safe, and have their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs met.  God always intends for there to be people in addition to the mother and father to love a child, care for and about him, and lend support and encouragement.  They aren’t kidding about it taking a village to raise a child.  Don’t be afraid of letting other people love your child dearly.  When it comes to the top spots in the child’s heart, you’ve got them.  Just like it says in Mary Poppins once she’s interviewed, “The position has been filled.” 

No matter what child care situation you discern is right for your family, your child will always have the strongest bond with the two of you, his mom and dad.

Sincerely,

Your Nanny

Screening & Selecting a Child Care Provider (My Nanny Diary)

Do you know the most important questions to ask when interviewing a person whom you’re considering leaving alone with your children for hours at a time? 

  
If not, you're not alone.  Most parents don't know all the pertinent things to ask and look for when selecting the right child care scenario for their family.  Fortunately, there are many resources available to help you.  

 
Below are links to some articles I’ve found that have a good set of pertinent questions to ask when interviewing the person who will be responsible for your child’s health, safety, and well-being while you are at work.  Each list is specific to the type of child care scenario sought after, so some of the questions overlap.   

An Extensive List of Pertinent Interview Questions for Finding the Best Nanny for Your Family

A good list of questions for interviewing a Child Care Provider 

In-Home Child Care Provider questionnaire and checklist

How to Interview a Daycare Provider

A variety of nanny agencies have done well because for a fee, they will take care of the criminal and personal background checks, references, pull up DMV records, and have the individual applying to be a nanny fill out a sea of paperwork indicating her (or his) experience with children, early child development training, her preferred work environment, what licensing and training she has in CPR, First Aid, Medication Administration Training…so parents don't have to do that part of the search.  (I say she, because the vast number of nannies I know are female, but I know there are some males who have also stepped up to the plate to devote themselves to providing excellent child care.)

  
The first two nanny positions I found out of college were through a local Christian nanny agency that took care of screening applicants and then passing a brief summary of their info and qualifications along to families in their database looking for an independent child care professional.  From there on out, it was up to me to decide with and for whom I wanted to work, the number of hours per week, terms, conditions, fees, etc. of the contract we agreed upon. 

  
I was impressed by how thorough the questioning, scanning, and screening process was on the agency’s side.  As I believe should be the case, those at the agency and the parents who hired them knew enough about how important it is to hire someone who is reliable, responsible, capable, hard-working, experienced with children and infant development, and basic safety that they wanted to make sure they asked the right questions and got the necessary answers. 

  
Of course, not every family can afford to pay a fee so someone else will do the proper screening and background checks, so that is often something that falls on the parents to take care of as part of their interviewing process.

The above links can help get you going in the right direction and may very well bring up some issues and concerns that might not have occurred to you.  Also, talking with friends who have found child care they're happy with and networking with other parents in your area can help you narrow down what it is that you're looking for and may help you figure out the best way of finding that person.

In a blog post that will appear in May 2016, I will explain and give links to specific agencies and websites that will tell you how child care providers in your area rate in terms of safety and quality of services provided.

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 128) about inspiration, making a difference, and persevering

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Grace is…believing you’re loved even when you can’t feel it, knowing that living out our vocations requires ongoing discernment and sacrifice, people recognizing and affirming those who have spent time away from the workplace to take care of family and friends at home, the acknowledgement of anyone that raising a family is the most challenging and important job there is for married couples and parents, learning about inspiring people who use their talents to serve others, being able to pray for and with others…

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What’s a Life Worth? Late last night, I finished reading the amazing Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder.  The book is about a remarkable man, Dr. Paul Farmer, whose passion for treating people in poverty (starting with those he served in Haiti) with the utmost dignity, respect, and the best medical technologies available literally impacted and dramatically improved treatment of infectious diseases such as tuberculosis and HIV/AIDS in poor countries around the world. 

     "...the idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that's wrong with the world" is the essence of Dr. Paul Farmer’s philosophy.  I know a book is very well-written when, though it’s about a topic as depressing as rampant illness affecting the poorest of the poor, I’m left feeling hopeful, inspired, and completely in awe of what happens when one man insists and believes that every life is of incalculable value; every person is worth treating; and every individual deserves the best we have to give, whatever the cost to ourselves or others.  

.   God did it again.  I was led to read this book at the perfect time. The pastor of our church and a group of parishioners are on yet another mission trip in Haiti this week, visiting our twin parish in Dos Palais, which is supposed to be opening a medical clinic soon.  

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Noisy Toys After a three day weekend, suddenly a vast number of battery-operated 'noisy toys' no longer make sounds. When Sunshine told me all of the batteries just ran down, I rolled with it, and told her if they were taken out and not replaced it must have been for a good reason.  My guess is that their parents, like any adults who have a reasonable amount of sanity somewhere on their top ten list of most important attributes of a caregiver, can only take but so much of Rock'n'Roll Elmo, an endless loop of "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider," and toys that add more sound effects that make it seem like their children are actually being raised in a barn. 

     I recall quite clearly a few toys that the boys loved to play with that would “disappear” at random intervals when I deemed my sanity more important than their need to press the fire engine’s siren another bazillion times.  I found it particularly taxing when the battery was about to run out on the sea-themed exersaucer activity center.  One of the boys picked up on how much it annoyed me to hear a painfully slow, scratchy version of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” that was the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard for me.  Kid was smart.  When he was upset with me for failing to concede in any way, shape, or form that only the exersaucer, not the entire universe revolved around him, he would purposely press the star and watch me cringe.  
     You will never convince me that kids aren’t clever enough to torture their parents and caregivers on purpose from a surprisingly young age. I know better.

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Calling for Back-up The other day was a 3+ time-outs, not enough sleep (them or me), and call for at least one of our favorite visitors kind of nannying day.  I feared that after five hours of feeding, cleaning up after, playing with, and refereeing three young girls in a limited space I was likely to run completely out of energy and patience sometime in the remaining four and a half hours before their mom would get home from work. 

Cuties with Contraband

     I’m sure it would have helped somewhat for at least a while if we could have gotten outside, but it’s been a couple weeks since I have been able to locate shoes that fit two of them (over socks) which I consider mandatory, not optional when playing outside, especially when the temperature is under 70.  I also hesitate to do much outdoors when the oldest is racking up time-outs, because I can’t trust that we’d get too far on a walk or other outdoor activity before a total and complete meltdown would make it necessary for me to get all three of them inside.        
     Fortunately, Kevin came over late that afternoon in case there was a repeat after naps (theirs, not mine) of I-want-whatever-you’re-playing-with-when-you’re-playing-with-it-and-I’m-going-to-grab-it-from-you-and-knock-you-over-to-get-it Advanced Pre-school Aerobics/Kung Fu Class. 
     The girls only napped for an hour, so it was even more vital that I had back-up on the way.  Kevin and I had the girls running, playing, giggling, and in much better moods than any of us were in that morning. Thank God Almighty for the gift of my husband, and I do!  To read about more of my adventures as a nanny, check out posts from My Nanny Diary.

    

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JAM Session Highlights Our parish has a really great, very successful ecumenical Job Assistance Ministry (JAM) which has helped hundreds of people in our area find employment.  Kevin’s been going to the meetings regularly as he searches for a new job.  The numerous professionals and business people involved offer a wide variety of career services for free that other recruiters and job search agencies charge hundreds of dollars to do.  Check out the ministry website, activities, and successes here. 

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My Guy Gets It This past Wednesday at JAM, the speaker was swamped with questions after his
presentation, so Kevin took it upon himself to approach a woman wondering what to put on her resume since he has spent several hours working, revising, and rewriting his with the recent tips, tricks, and trends he’s learned.  Kevin’s a friendly, helpful guy, so this gesture didn’t surprise me.  What I was really excited to hear is that he reassured this woman, who has gone 17 years without a paying job, that raising a family is the hardest and most important job anyone can do and made it abundantly clear to her that she must have a number of marketable skills from such a feat that will translate into the work world.  While they were talking, another woman came up who’s been out of the workforce for 21 years raising her family.  I am beyond grateful that my husband gets what so many men and women don’t: there’s nothing more challenging or more essential than raising a family, and those who devote their time and energy to that are generally hardworking, very talented individuals who deserve respect. 
    

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Hope and Help for the Philippines This is a very good article on what has happened in the Philippines and what is being done to help the many victims of Super Typhoon Haiyan.  There are links in the article of what organizations are already in place to help and how you can donate to the effort.    

     Lord, please open our hearts and minds to do and be what you need us to in order to alleviate the suffering that is taking place in the Philippines right now. 

                  

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

What got you involved in Respect Life ministry?

         

    

The shortest answer to that question for me is: my parents.  

     
The following appeared this weekend on an insert in our church bulletin.  The piece was written by Ann Niermeyer, grandmother, mother, respect life advocate, and local 40 Days for Life leader (aka my mom). It is a very good explanation of some of the biggest reasons why my husband and I are also involved.      

Father Dan asked me, “What got you involved in Respect Life ministry?” – specifically working with 40 Days for Life and with pregnancy help centers to support new mothers and fathers.

     
My call to ministry was a gradual process, but I think my involvement stems from my own experience as an expectant mother. I was so happy when I learned I was pregnant, and having a baby was one of the greatest joys of my life. My husband was even more excited. He loved children so much, and he couldn’t wait for us to be parents.

My memories of those years are filled with baby showers and cute little clothes, peaceful nights rocking and nursing, reading and singing to my babies. Each one was such a cherished blessing to our family. So my heart goes out to mothers who do not experience that. I find it so difficult to imagine how it would be to face a pregnancy with so much fear and hopelessness – all alone, scared, and feeling like there was no one there for me, so terrified that I saw no other choice but to have my child aborted. And then the days and the years that follow that painful decision  -  and the hurt.

Finally, when I learned about the sheer numbers of abortions – they overwhelmed me. Over a million each year in our country alone – 5,000 a year in my city of Richmond, Virginia. All I could think of to do was to pray. So I joined with others who pray for an end to abortion. And praying led me to discover that the first person transformed by those prayers – was me! God changed my heart first, and then encouraged me to remain and pray that others would have a change of heart, too.

I invite you to join us in praying these 40 Days for Life – pray for a change of heart, pray for our healing from abortion, and pray for an end to abortion. Thank you.

Imagine!  Anticipating the birth of a child with excitement and joy....  How sad that the attitude conveyed much too often in our society today is negative.  Our society seems to spend more energy in trying to avoid pregnancies than in celebrating them.  Indeed pregnancy is often treated as an “illness” to be avoided and for which the only “cure” is abortion.  This is the attitude surrounding our young people today. 
                                   We owe them better...join in the prayer!  – Fr. Dan

Abortion is the leading cause of death in the United States.   Prayer is the cure.   Save lives.

40 Days for Life is happening NOW around the world.

Find the prayer vigil location nearest you.

Children Shouldn’t Be Crash Test Dummies (My Nanny Diary)

Children by their very nature will manage to get themselves into a dizzying number of dangerous situations of their own concocting, so it’s best not to give them an easy way into trouble and becoming another statistic or sad story in a “What to Expect When You Don’t Childproof Your House” type series of books—as it will take several volumes to document and describe all of the illnesses, injuries, accidents, including but not limited to: gaping head wounds, cuts requiring stitches, burns, poisoning, a sudden supposedly accidental loss of limb, and/or other households little shop of horrors tales from beyond the crib and the crypt. 

Childproofing 101: The Rule of Thumbs

For the safety and well-being of children, it’s absolutely necessary to be proactive about childproofing and safety concerns.  The worst way to find out something should have been done is after someone is seriously injured because it wasn’t.  There are so many different basic childproofing things that need to be done, and they vary from one house to the next.  What's more, the basic baby and childproofing needs for your little one can be much more extensive than the lists of some other mothers.  This is by no means a complete or exhaustive list.  It's merely a jumping off point (pun intended) like everything that's in your house will become if it hasn't already.    

Before your child can roll over, install plug covers on any outlets at floor level in rooms where you will let them play.  You will be amazed at how quickly they can get from one part of the room to another when they get on a roll (literally).

Put gates at the top and bottom of staircases once your child can roll, but way before he or she is crawling.  It will help you preserve whatever sanity you have left when they become more mobile and will boldly explore in all directions. 

Any heavy furniture, shelves, etc. that may tip over should be tethered to the wall.  You can be certain that when climbing capable your child will try to get something out of reach by scaling whatever they need to in order to reach new heights. 

If there are more children than there are adults the majority of the time, then there needs to be two to three times more childproofing done, and/or your place will need to be up to Department of Social Services Standards for Child Care Centers if you intend to make it through the baby and preschool years with a below-average number of trips to the pediatrician's office and/or emergency room.

If an older sibling does it, their younger siblings will learn from them possibly/probably sooner than the first child learned it and do it as often as they can if they receive a high level of alarm from parents or caregivers.  This factor is multiplied with twins and multiples.  What was okay when you just had one little one running around is NOT necessarily safe when you have two or three young ones.

A funny-in-retrospect true story to prove toddlers are smarter than you think, so watch out!

When one of “my little guys,” who resembled a little old man when he was using his walker/push toy, shuffled up to the huge wooden door and pushed on it with his toy, presumably to see if he could get it to open.  I laughed and jokingly said to him that, “maybe if you got a running start…”  That was my first mistake.  I underestimated the kid, who I knew could understand what I was saying.

He was young enough I didn’t think he’d take what I said to heart and have the reasoning power to execute it, especially on a huge, heavy nine feet tall door built in the 1800s.  Wrong again.  He looked right up at me when I said that, then looked over at the closed door.  I always kept this particular door closed once the boys were mobile if I was the only adult present.  This was my sturdiest back-up so as to keep the two toddlers from gallivanting about the dining room, living room, front entryway, and downstairs bathroom, as well as the really big main staircase, none of which were fully childproof.  

 
This cutie backed up from the door a bit further than he had been before, and the little skunk moved as quickly as he could in jeans that were a tad big for him and a somewhat unwieldy walker back over to the door and rammed it even harder this time.  I was initially amused at his cleverness and persistence until the huge, heavy door opened. 

     
The important lesson learned here is that if you’re going to give a kid some pointers, even jokingly, thinking he won’t listen or use them, that’s when he’s most likely to awe and distress you with his cleverness and comprehension.

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 113)

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Navel Gazing at Its Cutest Kids crack me up just saying what comes into their heads and doing what

comes naturally to them.  Scooter has become very much aware of her belly button.  She checks numerous times a day to make sure that it’s still where she left it.  Once when Kevin called this week, and I answered: “Hi sweetheart.” Sunshine said, “Hi, sweetheart.” Kevin heard it and wanted to talk with her.  He asked whether Scooter’s belly button was still there (as I’d sent him a pic of the little navel gazer at it again), then asked her if her own was still in place.  She answered yes to both questions without looking.

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What’s my name? Just a sampling of Sunshine's running commentary, alternative lyrics, and such: "Rain, rain, full of grace, come again another day! Do you see a dragonfly and a monster? I'm doing princess exercises!"  Recently, she’s added commander to the list of ways she refers to herself and what she calls her sisters and me.  I’ve gotten some pretty cool titles from her including: princess, pirate, cowboy, captain, and ballerina, among others.  I’m not quite sure how it is that I resemble Handy Manny, Captain Hook, or Santa Claus, but she's compared me to them as well. At least Handy Manny and Santa Claus are kind, helpful, and generous.  If you think of a redeeming quality that Captain Hook possesses, let me know.

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Generational Healing It's truly fascinating how people in a family view things so very differently based on our personalities, temperaments, life experiences, beliefs about ourselves, and our perceptions of how others and God see us.
Here's a short video that made me laugh.  Not sure if there's an elephant in the room or skeletons in their closet, but it's an amusing reminder that we all have "our little red wagons" as a friend of mine says (whether we acknowledge them or not).

Lord, thank You for being the One Source of perfect, unconditional, limitless Love and Truth we can all turn to when unsure of how to view ourselves and others. Please help us accept the love, kindness, gentleness, and healing You seek to give us. Amen.

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A Remarkable Man On Tuesday, I attended the funeral of a gentleman I'd never met, because I'd heard such wonderful things about his family and his son, who is a priest in our diocese.  The Lord saw fit to nudge me to go to that funeral Mass for many reasons in between my dad's birthday and the upcoming anniversary of his death.  It was a tremendous blessing to be there for the beautiful funeral Mass held for Walter Carlin Barrett, Sr.  He was said to be a man of few words who put the Lord and his family before everything else.  Monsignor Walter Barrett, one of his three children, presided at the Mass held at Holy Rosary Catholic Church.  During his homily, he shared that one of his earliest memories was of his father reading the Bible to him before putting him to bed.        

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Ordination Celebration This Friday evening Kevin and I will be going to the ordination of Charles Williams, a friend of ours through Cursillo.  When I made my Cursillo weekend back in June 2006, Marie, his lovely wife, was on team.  When Kevin served on team in March 2009, he served with Charles.  It’s amazing what the Lord can do in seven years’ time, and miraculous how deep the bonds are that are centered on a love of the Lord.    

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Upon Entry Michele Morris is in California.  She was fitted yesterday for the two dresses she will wear during her time as a postulant (which I'm certain doesn't resemble the purple dress she bought to wear on the day she enters), and she sent out her last e-mail before entering, detailing her recent travels with her mom and some more amusing anecdotes the likes of which are normal only for Michele.  Please pray for her during this time of major transition.
Please also pray for her mother, Janice, who will soon have to say goodbye to her daughter without knowing the next time she’ll be able to make it out to California to visit. (Only her mom and sister can visit.  The rest of us will have to wait six years. Heavy sigh.)  Michele can only receive and write letters at Christmas and Easter, but you can send prayer requests to the community at any time, I’m sure.  The mailing address is: Carmelite Monastery, 27601 Highway 1 Carmel, CA 93923  To find out more about Michele’s new home, visit The Sisters by the Sea website.

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Miscarriage & Interment of Angels Friends of ours recently had a miscarriage, and they were directed to a program called Interment of Angels that is “a cooperative effort among Richmond area hospitals, Bliley funeral home, and the Catholic Diocese of Richmond."  Through this program, their baby was buried in Mt. Calvary Cemetery at no cost to them.  I have had a few close friends who have had the heart-wrenching experience of having a miscarriage, and I can’t even fathom how painful that must be.  It's one of those times when you know you can't take away the suffering they're going through, that you can only be present with and for them, lifting them up in prayer.  Please pray for all who are mourning the loss of their loved ones.   

                  

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

Fatherless

     Frighteningly realistic and suspenseful, Fatherless is the first book in what has been perfectly labeled as “the American tragedy in trilogy.”  It immediately grabbed my attention and kept me intrigued throughout.  I know it’s good when I don’t want to get to the end of the first book before the next one is available and ready to be read.

     I can empathize with and at the same time be horrified by many of the decisions we make as Christians in the world today when it comes to our families, our friends, our workplace, our faith community.  It’s all-too-easy to get lost on that slippery slope of moral relativity rather than seeking the Gospel Truth, which doesn’t change according to modern opinion or current trends.    

      The stories powerfully illustrate and verify the authenticity of many descriptions and assessments included about the mainstream media, corporate America, the popular culture, and watered down Catholic teachings most prominent in our times.  The other main characters are mostly laity with families of their own to care for and shepherd.  The people in these novels vary quite a bit when it comes to their knowledge of Church teachings (or lack thereof), their devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ, their practice of the faith, and the life choices they make as a result.    

     Some of the family struggles and situations are familiar enough to make me uncomfortable and reflective.  Having two parents who were cradle Catholics and practiced the faith throughout their lives while also knowing a number of people who have fallen away from the Church for a variety of reasons helped me identify with a number of the characters and families in Fatherless.  My father used to be a high-level sales executive for major pharmaceutical corporation, so the ethical, moral, and faith questions raised in this book through many of the situations and characters really hit home. 
     John Sweeney, one of the main characters and narrators who serves as a primary link connecting the many families in these books, is a Roman Catholic priest.  Fr. Sweeney is young, fresh out of seminary, and in many ways inexperienced in pastoral care at the start of the first book, but this adds quite a bit of interest and insight into the life of the consecrated religious, particularly priests, and the unique opportunities and challenges they face in their vocation to shepherd the flock entrusted to their care.  A major crisis of faith inspires him to take some time away to discern if the vocation he’s chosen is really where God wants and needs him to be.

     When I read that the author Brian J. Gail is a former semi-pro athlete, Madison Ave. ad man, and Fortune 500 senior executive, I was completely blown away that a man so steeped in the culture of corporate America, mainstream media, and all that comes with it has been incredibly vulnerable, honest, and even critical of the world he has been a part of for so long, even under the veil of fiction. 

     In some ways, I feel that these books tell part of my dad’s life story.  They have given me a much deeper insight into the professional and personal challenges he and countless others in his generation (and the following one) struggle with.  Brian J. Gail gives voice to the questions, concerns, and torments whirling about in the hearts of many men and women of faith.  Clearly, this author is someone who understands companies that regularly tempt people to compromise their values and/or change them under pressure.

     So much of what’s in these pages has actually happened, is happening now, and/or will take place in the not-too-distant future.  The truth pharmaceutical companies hide about the side effects of their products, the lies promoted and promulgated through advertising, the media, and government, along with the permanent scars left by a rampant culture of death that embraces everything from abortion to euthanasia as convenient, revolutionary, advanced, and scariest of all they tout these scientific discoveries and technologies as being: humane, moral, and ethical.  This skewed view of Creation and man’s manipulation of what God has made shows that the interconnectedness of people, their influence on others, and their relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ (or lack thereof) are of greater consequence in time and eternity than appears at first glance. 

     Reading these novels has reminded me that we have so many opportunities to do the right thing, to choose life, to bring about healing where there is great pain, possibly even suffering that we have unintentionally caused.  What seems like the end of a relationship, a calling, a career, a dream can so often be a new beginning.      

     This trilogy raises some vital questions: Who determines our worth?  Who do we trust and what does that say about who we are and what matters most to us?  Who do we turn to for answers, guidance, and advice?

     Depending on the answers to those questions and the choices made because of them we have a responsibility and accountability to others and to God.  Our choices have consequences for others as well as ourselves.  Are we true to ourselves or are we more devoted to discovering and upholding Truth=God?

     What’s worth putting everything on the line for?  No need to answer with words.  The choices we make and actions we take show clearly what or whom we value above everything and everyone else.  What example, what values, what legacy are you leaving by the way you live your life?  What impact is it having on those around you?  What impact will it have on the generations to come?
     For more information about Fatherless, to purchase a copy of this book (paperback or Kindle), or read more about the author, or "the American tragedy in Trilogy," check out this website. 
     This post is linked to the May 2013 issue of New Evangelists Monthly.  

Once Upon a Potty Training (My Nanny Diary)

Potty Seats

    
Having children sit on the potty either directly or on a seat that’s a little smaller, perhaps padded, and maybe with some fun fictitious friends on it in primary colors, seems to make the most sense to me.  A potty chair that has to be emptied and cleaned every time which sits next to a real toilet doesn’t seem like a good solution in my book, because the kid’s going to know that the toilet can be flushed and the lid opened, so toys and books, jewelry, pets, etc. would likely end up in there, especially if that’s not where their pee and poop went directly.  Who knows?  I may very well change my mind when it comes to spending several blocks of time each day potty training two or more children at the same time. 

Lockdown

I must emphasize the importance of showing any visitors, nannies, childcare providers, babysitters from up the street how to use any and all toilet cover locks.  I was really in a state of panic one day when both toilets had been fitted with new locks I was having trouble figuring out how to operate, while eyeing the bathtub with dismay.  I did manage eventually to determine how the swing/lever contraption thing worked before I had to resort to desperate measures.

Overflow

At daycare centers and schools, they often have tiny potties which are low to the ground, have smaller seats, and well, smaller everything.  I can’t tell you how much worse it is to clean up an overflowing toddler toilet(s).  There are often two little toilets in one bathroom.  When they both are overflowing, it traditionally means one staff person will have the privilege of spending the next 20+ minutes cleaning up the bathroom (while going through one or more pairs of gloves) after the ridiculously small pipes have been plunged and the ridiculously large poop (for such a little person) is dislodged.    

Flushback

My mom tells me that the first time she brought out a potty chair and tried to explain to me how to use it, that I was a bit young.  She gave me a brief tutorial, then she went into the kitchen.  I came out before long with the bowl from the potty chair (which was still empty and dry) and asked her for “Green beans?” my favorite vegetable at that time.  She wisely discerned I wasn’t quite ready to use the toilet. 

Princess Panties 

The two funniest communications I’ve received recently from a parent regarding misplaced items have come to me via text message.  One was to ask if I knew the whereabouts of a pile of princess underwear and the other one was to inquire where I had last seen the pink kitty.  Don't get me wrong, these were both totally legit questions, I just found it amusing to get texts messages asking me about princess panties and pink kitty whereabouts.  I knew the answer to both questions, but the pile of princess panties took longer to find because someone else had moved it from where I had set it.  The pink kitty was found without my further involvement.  (I knew it had made it up into her bedroom at naptime and hadn’t come back down.) 

    
Across the 20+ years since I first began babysitting, I’ve gotten all sorts of strange urgent calls from parents seeking something essential for their child’s peace of mind (or their own).  Sometimes, a parent might call me later that evening or perhaps over the weekend to inquire about the location of a certain item.  Frantic calls around bedtime to see if I know where they can locate the one and only soft, cuddly thing a child will deign to fall asleep clutching aren’t uncommon.  Missing blankets, books, toys, bottle tops, shoes, socks, hats, Gladware containers…some or all of which have been sources of anxiety for certain mothers (and therefore causes of stress for me) who itemize everything and/or inventory a few things every single day— once in the morning and once at night.  I’m talking about some mothers doing this—not me!    

Can you spare a square?

Since things are generally pretty hectic keeping up with the twins, the times are few and far between when I can spend an extended period of time with their older sister in the bathroom without one of them getting into trouble.  They make a beeline for the bathroom whenever the door is open.  They want to crawl on the stool their sister uses, hang on her, etc.    

    
I have only had a limited number of toilet paper tutorials with her thus far, and at this point, my main goal is to get her to pee in the potty instead of on the carpet in the living room, the bathroom floor…so I’m not quite as concerned about her toilet paper consumption provided the toilet flushes without a problem.

When I’ve been present for when she’s ready to wipe off, she’s often taken a single square of toilet paper.  I’m not sure what has led her to believe that this will be sufficient; it could be that when she has used flushable wipes, we have her use one, but I’m not sure.  Naturally, I’m led to think of the Seinfeld episode where a woman is asked if she can “spare a square?”

    
I don’t want her to use half a roll or just one square.  I figure four squares are about how many would be reasonable for a little person still learning proper top-to-bottom wiping technique.  Lately, when I’ve come in to turn the water on so she can wash her hands (she’s not quite tall enough yet with her present plastic stool to reach the handles herself), I’ve noticed a trail of toilet paper on the floor.  It’s unused, which is good, I suppose, but I’m not sure if she uses the one square then pulls out some more to dump on the floor or what.  Maybe when the girls are both napping, and I’m not cleaning up from one of our three to four meals during the day, I’ll witness the whole process and provide helpful insight into the number of squares of TP to use. 

Tricks of the Trade That Have Worked for a Time:

Telling the toddler: “It’s your turn!” to use the potty right after I’ve gone can sometimes make it a smoother transition.

    
For a while during the earlier stages of potty training, she could be persuaded and encouraged that I would put a smiley face sticker on her chart for each time she sat on the potty without having a knock-down/drag-out fit.  Sitting on potty post knock-down/drag-out made me frown, and depending on the level and decibel of the drama might also cause her sisters to fuss, so there would be no sticker.

    
I once would resort to singing what can very easily become an annoying song to the tune of the of the Peanut Butter Jelly Time song, but we’ve veered out of that level of desperation at least in terms of songs to sing incessantly while on the toilet or in the bathroom. 

    
I flip on the light on in the bathroom and let her know it’s her turn and close the door so her sisters aren’t in there taking a header into the toilet, playing with the trash, etc. 

    
Tune in again to read more about potty training and other adventures in the wonderful world of nannying.