Something Other than God: How I Passionately Sought Happiness and Accidentally Found It

Prepare to be inspired by Something Other than God.  Oh, wait, Jennifer Fulwiler already tried that approach, and it didn’t go at all the way she planned.  The high-powered job, racy sports car, fancy house, decadent parties, and expensive vacations she thought were essential to be content in life weren’t enough.    

    
Fulwiler relentlessly pursued wealth and the finer things.  She met and married someone as ambitious and single-minded as she was when it came to work and worldly measures of success.  They were on the way up the corporate ladder to the penthouse suite when the arrival of a small, helpless human being changed everything.  It was more than sleep deprivation and the weight of being responsible for the safety and well-being of a newborn that made her question all aspects of her life up to that point.  Though she fought against such introspection, she was most distraught over losing her grasp of atheism.

    
Raised as an atheist who made fun of the many Christians around her trying to talk her into accepting Christ as her personal Savior, she was horrified to find herself being drawn to answers that were beyond her understanding and comfort level—ones certainly above her pay-grade.  She became obsessed with reading about Christianity, the Bible, researching as much as she could, and questioning everything along the way. 

    
As you can imagine, there are some very amusing scenarios that factor into Fulwiler’s full-blown existential crisis.  Conversion Diary, the blog she began so she could ask the tough questions about Christianity, morality, ethics, and get responses from people who were willing to answer her questions and concerns on both an intellectual level as well as a spiritual one remains tremendously popular.  What started as a hobby as she was seeking Truth, opened her up to the Catholic faith and a vocation of sharing her journey with others through her humorous writing, harrowing, often humbling tales of motherhood, and her struggle against her tendencies to be a mostly inert introvert.

    
There are a number of people I’ve thought of whom I’d love to have read Something Other than God.  Fulwiler writes in a compelling way that brings to light the many questions she grappled with and the answers she came to over time.  This memoir is an account of how one woman set out to achieve worldly success and how, through the grace of God, she discovered a greater longing, a deeper void, which nothing and no one other than God can fill.  Fulwiler slaved over this memoir while raising several young children, dodging dubious scorpions, inadvertently providing exercise entertainment for her neighbors, and attempting creative ways to corral her children enough to maintain her sanity (most of the time), so the least you can do is buy it, read it, and recommend it to all your friends—atheist or otherwise. 

     
For more information about this book or to order your copy, click here.  To read more about Jennifer Fulwiler's current life events, funny happenings, and daily struggles, check out her blog Conversion Diary.  I received a free copy of this book from Aquinas and More in exchange for an honest review.

Our Night in a Penitential Suite

     When we arrived Sunday afternoon, John greeted his parents, Kevin, and me outside St. Mary’s Seminary, then he jokingly told us that he’d reserved “penitential suites” for us.  He had no idea how true that would be, at least for Kevin and me. 

     Our room was freezing cold when we got there at a little after 8pm Sunday March 9, 2014.  We couldn’t get the heat to stay on for more than maybe five minutes, tops.  I was sitting in the armchair in our room reading while Kevin lay on the bed listening to music on his MP3 player.  I wrapped up in my big white scarf and draped my winter coat over my legs. 

     Kevin would get up, turn the heat on at the control panel for the heating/cooling unit in our room, then sit back down for a whole two to five minutes before it would cut off, again.  I’d have to tell him it had clicked off because he couldn’t hear it with his earbuds in.  He’d get back up and try a few of the other buttons, turned the temperature up to 80 then 90 to see if that did anything.  Usually the heat would come on for a few more minutes, but that was it.

     When he wasn’t fiddling with the thermostat, Kevin tried to set the big radio alarm clock on the nightstand by the bed.  Apparently, you could only go forwards to set the time, and for some bizarre reason, it skipped over the eight o’clock hour completely.  This prevented Kevin from setting the clock to the correct time, according to his atomic watch, which read 8:17. 

     A few minutes later Kevin realized, no doubt from his excellent vantage point from the thermostat, that the digital alarm clock had actually gone backwards two minutes.  The two of us were laughing so hard we were both doubled over.  Every time the heat kicked off, we started a new round of LOL. 

     At one point, Kevin said: “It feels like it’s getting a bit warmer.”

     “No,” I told him.  “You just feel a little warmer because you’re up every couple minutes to try and get the heat to work.”

     I took the bag with our toiletries into the bathroom and discovered yet another peculiar feature of the penitential suite.  The water when on full-force was not coming out enough that I could rinse the soap off of my hands.  Our prospects for showering weren’t looking good, but at least there was enough water pressure coming out of the bathtub spigot that I could get the soap off of my hands, and for that I was truly grateful. 

     There was an ice bucket in our room, so Kevin went to find the ice machine.  He returned with an empty bucket, having searched our floor and not found any ice.  It was probably just as well since we were already feeling pretty cold.  

     Kevin propped up the three inch panel blind that had fallen on the floor at such an angle that we didn’t have quite so much light coming in from the parking lot below.

     It wasn’t long after that when John texted us to ask if everything was okay with our room and if we wanted him to bring us anything from the lounge. 

     I texted back: “We’d both like something hot to drink.  Can we meet you there?  There’s heat in the lounge, right?”

     Yes, the lounge had heat and hot tea.  John made us each a nice hot cup of Sleepytime tea, and the three of us sat and talked for a bit.  One of his seminarian friends overheard us mention about the lack of heat in the room where we were staying and offered us a small space heater he had.  He went to get it for us before we went back up to the penitential suite. 

     Fortunately, we turned on the little portable unit for more than half an hour during which time the Kevin finally figured out how to reset the thermostat.  During the half an hour or so that we had both the portable heater and the heat in the room working, it warmed up nicely.  We gave the small unit back to John to return to his friend.  I consider it a major plus that we didn’t need to keep it on all night since with the luck we were having it probably would have caught on fire or at least set off the smoke alarm and sprinklers. 

     We insisted John take a look at the water coming out of the bathroom faucet.  He was totally baffled by the ridiculous trickle.  I was satisfied I’d proved my point.  After we talked a little more, John bid us goodnight, telling us to let him know if we weren’t able to take a shower in the morning due to a serious lack of water pressure. 

     The next day, we met the friar who was staying in the room next to us when we met John for breakfast in the refectory.  We asked the gentleman if his room had heat.  He said that it had been very cold.  We inquired about the water pressure in his bathroom, and he said it was great and that the water came out hot right away. 

    Apparently, they have some adjustments to make in some of the rooms in the Center for Continuing Formation wing of St. Mary’s Seminary and University.  Either that or they should let people know that part of their stay will include putting up with a number of standard issue things not working correctly in their rooms.  If the latter is indeed the intention, a little support group held at a certain time on each floor might help create community and greater camaraderie.  I’m just sayin’

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 141) A Day Late, Some Screws Loose, and A Dollar Short

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Grace is… a cup of hot chocolate on a cold winter’s night, being reminded that some of the kids you took care of ten or more years ago are growing up to be really neat people, seeing cute pics of kids playing in the snow all bundled up, hanging out with my sister and nephew one afternoon, an hour of Adoration before the Blessed Sacrament…

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Snowmageddon 2014 Kevin and I have occasionally had a few moments of enjoying snow days.  My husband has a more legitimate than usual reason for watching several hours of The Weather Channel.  It's kind of cool to watch the Winter Olympics with snow falling in the background (out your window) while you're sitting warm inside drinking hot chocolate in the cute matching mugs your mom got your for Christmas a while ago.

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Another Snow Day Home with the Kids If you’re dreading another late school opening or snow day home with the kids, then I think you will appreciate this video. 

     I think my mom was one of the few parents who actually enjoyed having us home from school on snow days—at least most of the time.  She’d make chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast.  We’d play in the snow and, if possible, go sledding.  We’d have fun doing arts and crafts, watching movies, reading books...

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Stuff my husband says: I am a voracious reader, and Kevin prefers magazines to books and isn’t much into reading as an obsession or even a hobby.  A while back, I was reading some of the books by Christian preacher Joel Osteen.  Kevin came up with a great alternative title for one of his books: How to Become a Better Ewe (as opposed to a better you).  I know some of his jokes are pretty baaaaad, but at least he tries. Now I laugh anytime I see something by Joel Osteen thinking of what would actually be a fun title for a book about Christian living.  I know I could stand to learn how to be a better sheep.

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Valentine’s Day Yeah, so this post is a day late, because Kevin and I have been having a pretty awful week, few months...  Multiple things going wrong all at once, and the hits just keep on coming.  I was in such an awful mood yesterday and was so overwhelmed by all of the different things we’re dealing with that I simply couldn’t sit around here any longer. 

     The needle that pierced the camel’s eye (how’s that for a mixed metaphor) was that before 3pm on Friday our kitchen cabinets had to be completely emptied, because our ceiling was leaking again, though they’ve just put a new roof on our building.  I got up on the counter to find out exactly where the water was coming from to discover it’s running right down the wall behind our cupboards. 

     That’s not all.  Oh no, that’s not all!  Our kitchen cupboards which we have been concerned about possibly falling are very, very likely to do so sooner than later since there are several screws not just loose, but no longer touching the wall that should be holding them up.  So yes, a few screws loose was part of the problem, but not everything.

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It Could Be Worse I went to Mass at St. Benedict’s by myself, then went to our parish to wait for my friend who I thought was having a prayer meeting at church which finished at 8pm.  I parked by the Columbarium where my dad’s remains have been interred and ended up sobbing for a while alone in my car on a cold wet night.
     My friend, who’s usually very dependable, never called me back, so I eventually left and went to Martin’s, the one where I used to take my dad shopping when he was too sick to do it on his own and later when he was too sick to go to the store at all.  Of course, this brought back more memories. 
     I wandered around aimlessly, noticed they didn’t have any soup in the prepared foods section, and that’s what I’d really been hoping for.  I bought 3 boxes of Puffs tissues, because I’d used up the box and the extra napkins in my car while sitting and crying outside of church, then I got some fruit and a cup of Krispy Kreme chocolate donut holes which I ate in my car. 
     Next, I decided to swing by my mom’s and see if I could come by for a cup of tea.  She didn’t respond when I texted her, and I knew she was home, so I thought maybe she didn’t want company.  No, that wasn't it.  It turns out she didn’t get my texts because she was on the phone with a friend, so she didn’t see them until after I'd left.
     I ended up going to Denny’s since they’re open all night, and it was one of the places my dad and I went for breakfast way back when.  I sat in a corner booth facing the window, and that’s where I was for the next few hours: just me, a root beer, water, an English muffin, and some hash browns with a pen and my journal. (I know many mommy bloggers reading this are likely jealous that I got time away and could spend it alone writing, but under the circumstances, it was not the best of times).  I texted Kevin to let him know I was there and invited him to join me.  He said he had a headache and was going to bed.  There's more, but that's enough for now.
     The sad thing about yesterday is that I can’t honestly say it was the absolute worst Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had.  There have been others that in the grand scheme of things were far worse for our family as a whole.

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Prayers Pul-lease! This has been a very rough week, actually it’s been a rough several months for both of us.  Many of the things we’ve been dealing with have not been resolved and/or fixed, yet, so we could definitely use some extra prayers right now.  The leaking kitchen ceiling and cabinets about to fall down are actually the least of our worries at this point, but they’re certainly the easiest to mention as an example of stuff going down.    

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

LOL at the Olympics

Here is one of our all-time favorite comedy bits on the Olympics.  Watch the first 4 minutes and 24 seconds of this clip from Jerry Seinfeld's "I’m Telling You for the Last Time," and I'm pretty sure you will be cracking up.  My personal Seinfeld favorites from this bit are his description of the biathlon and his suggestions for a new Olympic event: the Involuntary Luge.

I couldn't help but be amused by some of the profound comments announcers have made during the Winter Games:

Announcer for Men’s Moguls event: “He had kind of a rough ride.”

My response: “The whole slope is full of moguls!”

Announcer for Women’s Luge: “Look at that toe point…she’s going for it!” 

“Those white walls come up fast.”

Announcers for Women’s Curling: “The US is only one and two.  They’re only one game out.”

“It curled a little bit more than she anticipated.” 

“Always thinking about the next shot.  Sort of like a game of pool.” 

“There’s a reason the scoreboard is what it is.” 

“I think she thought she had enough weight."  

“How do you handle and manage when conditions seemingly change?”

“It’s a little tough down the center.  It’s a little bit tricky.” 

“You can’t just leave the building and the clock won’t run.”

“They’re not positive if that rock is biting the house or not.”

My Husband on Curling: “Of all the sports this one takes the most skill to watch.”

“They know how to knock each other out.  I guess that’s good for something.”

“Shuffleboard heavyweights.”  “Just what in the world is the point?”

Stuff my husband says: while watching the Opening Olympic ceremonies and in regard to what the United States athletes come out wearing.  
I said: “The only people that should be wearing sweaters like that are the mothers of some of the athletes.”

Kevin said: “Did Grandma forget to take her meds?” and later on: “I think they’re psyching out the competition.  If you look at those sweaters long enough it may create convulsions, possible black-outs.”

Top 10 Mommy Blog Epic Fails

Here are the top 10 Mommy Blog Epic Fails or in other words ten legitimate reasons why my own blog is not a super-colossal mommy blog at the top of everyone’s blogroll and whose notification of new posts pop up in inboxes everywhere along with several suggestions of actual cool, very  successful mommy blogs:

10. Homeschooling

The only person I have tried to “homeschool” recently is my husband, and it’s going about as well as you’d imagine.  At least he’s finally using his dresser for its intended purpose most of the time.  We’ll try working on some other practical life skills (such as putting clean, folded laundry away where it belongs) once he seems to be showing further signs of aptitude in that area.  For cool posts by moms who do homeschool their kids, check out Blossoming Joy and Danielle Bean.

9. Not-so-Crunchy Kitchen


I’m not some amazing cook who makes mouth-watering dishes with all natural, fair trade, organic ingredients that I managed to find in my garden or on sale at a local family-owned grocery store.  We eat fairly healthy, but the peanut butter in our cupboard is Jif and the bread in our fridge isn’t homemade, and there aren’t enough grains on top of it to feed a colony of birds.  Not that I didn’t try to interest Kevin in that sort of bread, but it didn’t fly.  Therefore, I don’t have a stash of delectable looking dishes, desserts, and mixed drinks to entice my readers.
For delectable recipes and scrumptious-looking menu options, go visit Catholic Mom's Café and Danielle Bean.

8. Catchy, Cool Link-ups

I have not yet formulated a funky and fun link-up line-up that would bring people from far and wide to my site to read what I’ve written and check out what others have posted along the same lines.  The closest I’ve gotten is to participate for the past 139 weeks in Jennifer Fulwiler exceedingly popular link-up at Conversion Diary called 7 Quick Takes Friday.

7. Bugs & Buzzards

Our creepy, crawly infestations aren’t that big of a deal, especially when compared to ridiculously large and mean-looking scorpions lurking in couch cushions and bedroom slippers.  Again, Jennifer Fulwiler is the boss when it comes to this category!

6. No Whining

Kevin and I don’t drink alcohol.  Therefore, I haven’t got any pretty pictures or harrowing stories about the effects of alcohol consumption on our behavior or that of our guests.  I don’t have a single wine recommendation for you.  In fact, I’m not really a fan of whining (pun intended).

For adventures in raising young children, as well as LOL funny pics, stories, and further attempts at non-whining, see Camp Patton.

5. Faith Formation

I must admit that I often forget to say grace with kids before meals when I am juggling, assembling, cutting, cooking, and serving little ones their four to six mini-meals a day all while they are acting as if they are starving and haven’t seen food in a week.  In my defense, when I realize my mistake, either because the oldest has told me I forgot or because the chaos of mealtimes has subsided momentarily, we pray a slightly edited version: “Bless us, oh Lord, and these Thy gifts which we are already receiving from Thy bounty, through Christ, Our Lord.  Amen.  And may the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace.

For faith formation and other helpful tips and tricks for guiding future saints, visit Kate Wicker or Lisa Hendey.

4. Exercise? Please!


The only time I think I actually enjoyed running was when my family would play tag around the arch at Valley Forge Park when we lived in Pennsylvania…when I was still in third and fourth grade.  I have considered it exercise when I have been the sole adult responsible for two or more young children for periods of nine hours or longer at a time.  If you see me running down the sidewalk, it’s probably because someone scary is chasing me.  The only gym I’ve frequented pretty much daily for months on end has been the jungle gym where I take the kids to play.  I honestly don't know who to recommend for this category as it's not one I read a whole lot about or do much with.

3. High Book Deal Drama


Several popular bloggers have published a book or two, contributed to some anthologies, have a slew of articles that have appeared in National Catholic Register and other such online and in print publications, and/or they are in the process of polishing their manuscript with the help of an interested press who’s offered them a contract.  Though I’m a voracious reader and an avid writer, I have not landed a book deal or made it big in the world of publishing, yet.
   
I’m a cradle Catholic who has never really fallen away from the faith, so I don’t have a conversion story to tell that begins with me as a fiercely independent atheist who one day meets prince charming, who happens to be a devout Catholic, adventurous enough to have more children than I can count on one hand, and still have time to carve high-quality wooden toys of Montessori quality and appeal that will help form their brood into the saints of tomorrow…

To read a great conversion story and hilarious book about a family with many kids, check out Clan Donaldson or for a slightly more serious smattering of stories from a number of great Catholic authors visit Moxie Wife.

2. Precious Pics & Not-so-precious Moments


I do have a bazillion precious pictures I’ve taken of babies, toddlers, young children, elementary school kids, family events, art projects, mysterious messes (like Grace over at Camp Patton)…but I have to be even more careful and diplomatic about what I post than most others because of reason #1.

1. Kids & Clan Members

My husband and I don’t have a house full of kids.  Let me be more specific.  We don’t have a house, and we don’t have any children for whom we are biologically or legally responsible.  As you can imagine, this makes it basically impossible for me to have anything close to a successful mommy blog.

I have been taking care of children, teaching them, nannying for them, babysitting, tutoring, helping to homeschool for the past 22 years, so there are a good number of children who have brightened my life and a select group of them who have a very special place in my heart.  I recently received a clear answer from the Lord that it's time to move on from nannying, though my husband and I aren't sure of what's next.  Please keep us in prayer as we discern the Lord's will for our lives and our family.  We're doing our best trusting God when unsure of what's next.

God bless you and all of your loved ones young and old!

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 135) Books and Mothers and Sisters, Oh My!

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Grace is…being around people with a great sense of humor and very active imaginations, a large cup of hot tea on a cold winter’s night, heading home when a neighbor calls and needs something though you aren’t sure what, because her phone cuts out after about ten seconds, the ability to appreciate and smile at children who are too clever and intelligent for their own good, Mom’s homemade family recipe chili with mashed potatoes, noticing the variety of crayon colors used on the wall and the bathroom door, having people be really excited and relieved to have you back…  

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Happy New Year Kevin and I want to start this year off right, so we went to the vigil Mass at St. Benedict's New Year’s Eve. I couldn't think of a better way to ring in the new year than to kick things off with a focus on Christ and a tribute to Theotokos, the God-bearer.  In the morning, we went to Mass at our usual parish for the Solemnity of the Blessed Mother.  It was great to see the church so packed for a middle of the week feast day Mass!  Click here to find out what's so special about Mary.

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Life Imitates Fiction Yesterday morning, as per the girls’ request, I read them the classic children’s picture book by Don Freeman Corduroy three times in a row.  Not too long after that, I tripped over the kid fence that keeps them out of the computer area in their family room.  I didn’t just catch my foot on it and fall.  I took the flipping thing down, along with a tall floor lamp, and a small child.  All of us were okay, mostly just stunned.  I’m told the floor lamp still works.  (I was not brave enough to try plugging it back in since the plug was strangely bent, and I was already having so many things go wrong that I feared electrocution would be the result.)
    It dawned on me a little later that perhaps reading a book in which the following phrases appear: “bang into a tall floor lamp.  Over it fell with a crash!” got stuck in my brain and played out in real life.  Just one more reason, you should be careful what you read.  Fox in Socks is not the only book that’s dangerous! 

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Keep Up the Good Fight! To be in solidarity with those who are fighting the HHS mandate, which infringes upon a number of religious freedoms, the USCCB is inviting people to join in prayer, fasting, and abstinence from meat on Fridays in January.   

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A Day in the Life of… Our dear friend and sister in Christ Michele Morris sent me a play to post as her update since entering a cloistered monastery August 6, 2013.  I’m grateful to know by reading and laughing a lot that Michele’s still just as silly, faith-filled, spunky, and endearing as she was before becoming a Carmelite postulant.  This short original play by a playwright/actress/director, rider of Harley Davidson’s turned cloistered postulant will have you in stitches!
Anyone who had the privilege of seeing her performance of the play she wrote and directed, Teresita in order to pay off her student debt from attending a Presbyterian seminary (though she's always been Catholic) will enjoy this piece.  The only thing that would make it better is if we could watch her perform it live.

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Fave Books of 2013 Here’s a quick reference list of some of the best spiritual nonfiction, parenting, and fiction books I’ve read and reviewed this past year.  I’ve read tons and tons more books than I’ve written reviews of in the past calendar year, but these are my favorites of those reviewed and in many cases the must-reads of each category (at least in the opinion of this voracious reader).

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Everyday Things That Affect Your Mood!

May your 2014 be filled with blessings, love, laughter, joy, health, and prosperity!

Lord, our future is in Your Hands; we pray for Your Will!

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

A Day in the Life of a Little Carmelite Postulant as experienced and written by Michele Morris

Lessons and Mishaps

OR

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Monastery

OR

A Day in the Life of a Little Carmelite Postulant

as experienced & written by:

God’s Little Goofball

aka: Michele Morris

            A Carmelite priest told me my first week in the Monastery: “To be a Carmelite, one must have three bones—the Wishbone, the Backbone, and the Funnybone.”  I can certainly attest that this is so very true.  I can also attest that any pre-conceived notions we have about living the cloistered life need to be stripped away.  What we think it is (or how we think it should be) and the reality of how it actually plays out is often quite different.  And, that, my friends, is the true transitional challenge.  The best advice I can give to those discerning the religious life: Let go of expectations!  Easier said than done, I know, I know.  And not just letting go of how monastic life “should” be, but more importantly, letting go of how you yourself, should be.  The Lord God wants, desires the real you—the you He made you to be.  The Lord God wants, desires, your whole, vulnerable, feeble, weak, little self.  There is no hiding from Him or the sisters (despite the fact that we are living a “hidden” life). Yes, it is hard—in very unexpected ways.  Yes, there are struggles.  However, the road to self-discovery and union with God is actually…well…quite funny!  Of the three bones the Carmelite priest mentioned, I would have to say that the Funnybone is the most important.  The gift of laughter and the ability to laugh at yourself is truly the strength behind wishes in the Wishbone and perseverance in the Backbone.

PLEASE NOTE:      Every community is different.  The experiences I share and my thoughts about them are strictly from one particular little postulant in one particular little community.

DISCLAIMER:        No nuns were injured during these “Lessons and Mishaps,” though one little postulant’s pride has been significantly diminished.

ACT I

scene i:            I did climb a tree (okay, 2).  Gathering all of you in my heart, I sang (quietly): “How do you solve a problem like Michele.”  That was my first prayer offering to God for all of your intentions. J

scene ii:           My dress does not have a tear (yet).   I did, though, get tree sap all over it.  Paint thinner gets out tree sap. 

scene iii:          I got tipsy.

                        I set off the fire alarm.

                        The 2 incidents are unrelated.

scene iv:          Twice I discovered ashes on my veil.  Both times happened right after my personal prayers.  Before jumping to the conclusion I was having some sort of bizarre mystical experience, I asked the sisters: “How did I get ashes on my veil?” Ah.  Apparently, I was standing too close to the incinerator* upon lighting it.  Real—non-mystical—ashes alighted my head.

*Garbage is either composted, recycled, trashed, or burned in the incinerator.  Either I burned something I thought was burnable but wasn’t or I didn’t check the ventilation or both.  Intense smoke filled the basement and first floor setting off the fire alarm.  No fire.  Building still standing.  Nuns okay.

scene v:           I taught the sisters the chicken dance.

scene vi:          The sisters have worms for compost.  They are fed veggies and fruit (no citrus).  Their favorite food is bananas (the worms’ not the sisters’).  I got to play with them and feed them (the worms.  Though I do play with the sisters, too.  I haven’t fed them, yet.)  I also rescued a salamander.  Actually I rescued a sister from the salamander. The gardens have a variety of frogs and on multiple occasions I’ve tried catching them—to no avail.  The little kid in me is quite chuffed!

                        Chuffed: Scottish term meaning “pleased.”

scene vii          I crashed into a Crucifix nearly knocking myself out.

INTERMISSION

LADIES and gentlemen!!! BOYS and girls!!  Children of AAAAAALLL Ages!!!!

WELCOME to Modern Technology of the 1980s

This letter is being typed on the one…the only…

 BROTHER EM-411!!!

            “The outstanding features of the EM-411 will take away all the chores of typing that seem to come with other typewriters, thus making your life at work that much happier!” –instruction manual

            Yes, folks.  I am typing this on an electric typewriter purchased in 1986.  Typing on this treasured artifact is not half as funny as reading the instruction manual.  OH MY GOODNESS!!!  I am in stitches reading through this booklet!  I so wish I could type up the many hysterical comments and instructions, but then this letter would turn into a novel.  If you can find it online (if it exists) oh take the time to read through it!  Just TOO FUNNY!

So, I humbly beg you to forgive any typing/formatting mistakes. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had to retype this letter.  This has to be my final “printing” if I want to get this out in time for Christmas!  I must say, however, that after a few days of refusing to either pull my hair out or throwing this thing into the sea, Brother EM-411 and I have become fast friends.

Stubbornness prevails!  Perseverance wins!

(Think of this letter as one huge text)

ACT II

scene i

or

Lessons in Teresian Spirituality:

            There is a Crucifix hanging on the wall of each stairwell.  Whenever we pass by one, we’re to kiss the feet of Jesus.  Now, this was the end of my first week and I had not yet mastered the art of taking my time.  Not wanting to be late for Choir (Office of Hours), I flew down the stairs.  As I reached the bottom step, I gasped: “OH NO!!! I forgot to kiss Jesus’ feet!”  So I rushed back up the stairs, gaining so much momentum I couldn’t stop—

CRASH!         BANG!           CLANK!

oomph.

            After a moment, my eyes fluttered open and I found myself in the following position: arms and hands spread-eagle against the wall, brow banged up and pressed into Jesus’ knees, nose smooshed between His legs, teeth clanked up against His feet (I think I drooled on Him).  I began giggling.  I couldn’t help it!  I couldn’t move!  I’m plastered up against the wall and Crucifix giggling!  I finally managed to regain some composure and peeled myself away from the wall and Crucifix.  With a sheepish grin, I gave Jesus a slight nod and SLOWLY descended the stairs.  I made it to Choir unscathed.  I was the first one there. 

            Now, yes, indeed God does desire to draw us closer to Him, and St. Teresa of Avila shares marvelous insights on how this might be achieved.  Somehow I don’t think crashing into His crucified Son is what either of them had in mind.

scene ii

or

Lessons in Fasting and Feasting and Sacrifice—Oh My!!:

Carmelites know how to fast.  They also know how to feast!  Between Sundays, Feasts and Solemnities (days on which fasting is broken) I am struggling a bit with knowing when exactly we are fasting.  In addition to scrumptious food and delectable dessert options, we are served wine and beer (at dinner on Sundays, Feasts and Solemnities).  And that, my friends, is how I got tipsy my first Sunday here.  I only had 1/2 a bottle of beer.  sigh.

Anyhoo…within a couple weeks, I began worrying about the “table of plenty” I’ve been blessed with.  Not just with all the glorious food, but the beauty and grandness of Carmel.  I’m a little pauper living in a palace.  God is showering me with all sorts of goodies and it’s just like me to muck it up with thoughts of how undeserving I am, but also how to fast more.  Or rather, what sacrifices should I be…well…sacrificing.  My mind took off racing.  What could I do?”  What can a little pauper do for Him? ...

AH-HA!!  I know!!  I would deny myself Oreo cookies!  I had been delighting in them all week.  I decided I wouldn’t have any at dinner (our midday meal).  But then I thought: “WAIT! If God wants to shower me with Love, Grace, Mercy, and Blessings—am I hurting Him?  He, after all, is the Perfect Gentleman—the Great Romancer—and I am rejecting His courtship!  Well, the thought of hurting Him hurt me so by-gosh-darnit I was NOT going to have just ONE Oreo cookie, I was going to have FIVE!  Yes, five!  An overabundance of gratitude for an overabundance of grace and blessings.  I proceeded to pour my signature drink: milk with ice.  Then, I picked up the Oreo cookie bag…and…woah…empty?  No! Wait!  I looked again.  Ha-ha!  There was ONE Oreo cookie left in the bag.  God, in a single moment, allowed me both to fast and feast!  I looked out the window, smirked at God and enjoyed my 1 Oreo cookie. J

---God cannot be outdone in gift-giving

---God not only loves us, but is in love with us.  He wants to love on us.  He desires to court each and every one of us. 

---The best sacrifice we can give God is our 100% best, especially in our praise and thanksgiving.  And, quite frankly, the best place to give our 100% best in praise and thanksgiving is Mass.  Get thee to a church! J

---As for other sacrifices and penances, well there is only 1 Cross and that belongs to Our Lord Jesus Christ.  So, let Him, He who knows our hearts and our desires, who knows what we need to grow in faith, trust and virtue, who knows what each individual can handle, let HIM dole out our burdens—our individual crosses—we don’t need to make more for ourselves.  AND!!  Whatever He gives us, He’ll provide the means for perseverance and dependence on Him.  He’s resourceful that way.

scene iii

or

Lessons in Humility

            ---Voice lessons and singing practices.

-          apparently I can hit most of the notes.

-          I’m told I have potential.

            ---Anything related to domesticity lessons.

-          I know how to knit.  Sort of.

-          I know how to thread a needle.

What to do with the threaded needle? …well…

-          I’m getting the hang of ironing.

But then, I’ve only been assigned to napkins. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

FINALE

            You can take Michele away from the theatre, but you can’t take the theatre away from Michele.  By the time you read this, I’ll have performed my play “Teresita” twice—once for visiting Carmelite nuns and once for the sisters in my community.  I’ve also performed for the sisters some of the stories I wrote and performed at the Science Museum of Virginia.  I also came up with a “Cast List” to help me figure out and understand the roles of each sister.  I chuckled quite a bit when putting this list together and I do continue to chuckle.  J  I do hope this helps you as much as it has helped me.  At least it might for those with some theatre knowledge.  I think I might develop this list for a more in-depth insight. 

            I dedicate this “Cast List” to all my theatre family…

“Here’s prayin’ for you kid”

ENCORE!!!

            ***      Rejoice in hope, patient in trials, persevere in prayer!

Romans 12:12

***      Rejecting God or running away from Him because we are wallowing in our past sins and miseries thereby convincing ourselves we can not only do things on our own, but we can do things better.  God’s love, mercy, and forgiveness are bigger and better than we can possible imagine.  God delights in us and is by far the Greatest Playmate ever!  He can’t play with us if our ego keeps getting in the way.

***      The Lord Jesus is TRULY and Uniquely present in the Eucharist and is ALWAYS hiding in the same place—the Tabernacle.  This makes playing hide-and-seek with Him no fun. 

***      The following question came up during recreation:  “What would you do if you were on the boat with Jesus when the storm hit?”

            Me?  I would rush to where He was sleeping, jump in beside Him, wrap His arms around me good and tight and stay snuggled close to Him safe and secure until the storm passed.

            That or tell Him: “We’re going to need a bigger boat.”

***      The greatest temptation I’m fighting against:

            poking my head out through the Oratory grille and exclaiming, “BOO!” at the parishioners. 

Lights Out

CURTAIN

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Playwright……………………………………………………………………………………God

           

Artistic Producing Director………………………………………………………………….Jesus

Dramaturge…………………………………………………………………………….Holy Spirit

Director…………………………………………………………………………....Mother Prioress

Stage Manager………………………………………………………………………...Sub Prioress

Assistant Director…………………………………………………………………Novice Mistress

Assistant Stage Manager/s…………………………………………………………...Extern Nun/s

Tech Design/Construction…………………………………………………….Lay and Choir Nuns

Running Crew……………………………………………………………………………...Novices

Auditionees………………………………………………………………………………Postulants

Best Supporting, Nurturing, Loving, Encouraging Stage Parents:

Mary and Joseph

Extra Assistance and Support:

Angels, Saints and Martyrs

Yes, God! What Ordinary Families Can learn about Parenting Today's Vocation Stories

     Yes, God!  At long last there’s another book to add to your shelf by award-winning author, Catholic wife and homeschooling mother of seven, Susie Lloyd.  I was feeling a bit deprived after quickly devouring and being very amused by her two humor books: Please Don’t Drink the Holy Water and Forgive Me, Father, For I Have Kids.  Now the wait is over, and the fans rejoiced with a hardy “yes, God!”

     My husband and I met Susie Lloyd back in August 2009 at the Catholic Marketing Network Tradeshow.  She and one of her daughters were at a booth with books.  I could tell from our brief exchange with Susie that she has a great sense of humor.  We ended up buying both of her books after flipping through them, reading a bit and checking out the amusing cartoon drawings included.  

     Our train-ride back home was significantly more enjoyable than the one up, because I shared stories from the first book with Kevin, so we were both laughing much of the way.      

     I was excited to read on Facebook that Susie was coming out with another book, knowing that whatever it was about, I’d want to read it.  Interestingly enough, the topic is one with which Kevin and I have become even more familiar in recent years as two of our best friends/siblings in Christ have taken the next step in discerning religious vocations: one to the priesthood and the other to become a cloistered nun. 

     Yes, God!  What Ordinary Families Can Learn about Parenting from Today’s Vocation Stories takes a look at the families of ten different men and women who have discerned a call to the religious life.  Each chapter focuses on one aspect of saying yes to God that was particularly important in that individual’s family through some in-depth interviews and conversations.  

    The people chosen for this book are those who have learned to say yes to: duty, affection, strength, spiritual poverty, inheritance, the Greatest Commandment, generosity, humility, and patience.  They learned how to carry out these important aspects of their vocations from their families.  Susie explains how each way of saying yes to God has played out in these people’s lives as well as in her own life, faith, and family using her characteristic sense of humor and parenting wisdom, some of which was learned the hard way. 

     Is there an ideal method and/or model for preparing your children for religious vocations?  Not really.  The men and women in this book have come from a variety of circumstances, socioeconomic backgrounds, and even levels of involvement in the Catholic faith.  The common string among these stories is that each person, when it came right down to it answered yes when God called them to a religious vocation. 

     The message is one of hope, that you don’t have to have or be perfect parents to encourage your kids to say yes to the Lord.  By living out Biblical values and being true to whom God made them to be, the families of these five priests and five nuns (two of whom are biological sisters) helped prepare them for a life-long service to the Lord and His people. 

     Whether you come from or are part of a family in which the Catechism was drilled into your brain at an early age and you prayed Hail Mary’s until the cows came home (or in one family, at least settled down) or if you tried to learn something of Catholicism’s draw by actually drinking some holy water or playing a trick on your blind teacher, you’ll get something from these stories that will help you say yes to God in your own life and help others encourage the same submissiveness to the Lord in theirs.

    For more information and/or to order your own download or hard copy of Yes, God! click here.  (If you know a father of young girls who has said he plans on bypassing any vocation issues by telling his two youngest that they can start dating when the oldest is married, after which he will make the oldest enter a convent then you should probably just go ahead and give him a copy of this book.) 

Triage for Christmas Correspondence

In 2011, I came up with the following solution to our holiday bulk mailing predicament: triage for our Christmas Card List In the event that you didn’t receive a Christmas card from Kevin and me this year, rejoice and be glad!  

No, really.  I’ve decided this year to concentrate my card writing/mailing efforts first and foremost on family and friends of ours who 1.) are currently in the hospital 2.) were just released from the hospital after major surgery 3.) are serving in the US military overseas, and/or 4.) have lost a loved one in the past six months. 

     
One reason for this was that I wrote a personal note on each card I sent, so it took much longer than the sign and stamp kind.  Since we had a number of loved ones who fit into one of the above categories, I concentrated my energy on prayers, phone calls, and notes of encouragement for them.  

   

Please don’t be offended.  I assure you we’re keeping all of our family, friends, and loved ones far and near in prayer.  Thanks to all of you who have filled our mailbox with love, adorable photos, and kind cards!      This year, we will still be praying for all of the friends and family who are currently in the hospital, are serving in the US military overseas, and/or have lost a loved one in the past six months, but due to a variety of circumstances we have had to do triage for our entire Christmas Correspondence this year so most of you won't be receiving snail mail letting you know in writing of our prayers and thoughts for you. 

If you’ve sent us a card wishing us a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, thanks, you rock!

If you haven’t, we totally and completely understand!

If you’re waiting for a card from us, please see the below qualifications for this year’s version of Triage for Christmas Correspondence.

7 Qualifications for Receiving Christmas Correspondence via Snail Mail in 2013 from the Potters’ (Let’s be realistic now: this means a card or letter from Trisha that Kevin has heard or read and signs, too)

If there was a period of thirty days or more over the past calendar year during which:

      1.      You and I talked to and/or texted each other daily.
2.      We hung out a few times a week.
3.      Regularly sat together at Mass together and other church-related activities.
4.      You have eaten several meals at our place.
5.      You have at any time received an actual text message from my husband.
6.      You have been in a cloistered convent.
7.      You are only allowed to receive mail at Christmas and Easter due to being a postulant in a cloistered convent.