Friday, January 31, 2014

Top 10 Mommy Blog Epic Fails

Here are the top 10 Mommy Blog Epic Fails or in other words ten legitimate reasons why my own blog is not a super-colossal mommy blog at the top of everyone’s blogroll and whose notification of new posts pop up in inboxes everywhere along with several suggestions of actual cool, very  successful mommy blogs:

10. Homeschooling

The only person I have tried to “homeschool” recently is my husband, and it’s going about as well as you’d imagine.  At least he’s finally using his dresser for its intended purpose most of the time.  We’ll try working on some other practical life skills (such as putting clean, folded laundry away where it belongs) once he seems to be showing further signs of aptitude in that area.  For cool posts by moms who do homeschool their kids, check out Blossoming Joy and Danielle Bean.

9. Not-so-Crunchy Kitchen

I’m not some amazing cook who makes mouth-watering dishes with all natural, fair trade, organic ingredients that I managed to find in my garden or on sale at a local family-owned grocery store.  We eat fairly healthy, but the peanut butter in our cupboard is Jif and the bread in our fridge isn’t homemade, and there aren’t enough grains on top of it to feed a colony of birds.  Not that I didn’t try to interest Kevin in that sort of bread, but it didn’t fly.  Therefore, I don’t have a stash of delectable looking dishes, desserts, and mixed drinks to entice my readers.
For delectable recipes and scrumptious-looking menu options, go visit Catholic Mom's CafĂ© and Danielle Bean.

8. Catchy, Cool Link-ups

I have not yet formulated a funky and fun link-up line-up that would bring people from far and wide to my site to read what I’ve written and check out what others have posted along the same lines.  The closest I’ve gotten is to participate for the past 139 weeks in Jennifer Fulwiler exceedingly popular link-up at Conversion Diary called 7 Quick Takes Friday.

7. Bugs & Buzzards

Our creepy, crawly infestations aren’t that big of a deal, especially when compared to ridiculously large and mean-looking scorpions lurking in couch cushions and bedroom slippers.  Again, Jennifer Fulwiler is the boss when it comes to this category!

6. No Whining

Kevin and I don’t drink alcohol.  Therefore, I haven’t got any pretty pictures or harrowing stories about the effects of alcohol consumption on our behavior or that of our guests.  I don’t have a single wine recommendation for you.  In fact, I’m not really a fan of whining (pun intended).
For adventures in raising young children, as well as LOL funny pics, stories, and further attempts at non-whining, see Camp Patton.

5. Faith Formation

I must admit that I often forget to say grace with kids before meals when I am juggling, assembling, cutting, cooking, and serving little ones their four to six mini-meals a day all while they are acting as if they are starving and haven’t seen food in a week.  In my defense, when I realize my mistake, either because the oldest has told me I forgot or because the chaos of mealtimes has subsided momentarily, we pray a slightly edited version: “Bless us, oh Lord, and these Thy gifts which we are already receiving from Thy bounty, through Christ, Our Lord.  Amen.  And may the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace.
For faith formation and other helpful tips and tricks for guiding future saints, visit Kate Wicker or Lisa Hendey.

4. Exercise? Please!

The only time I think I actually enjoyed running was when my family would play tag around the arch at Valley Forge Park when we lived in Pennsylvania…when I was still in third and fourth grade.  I have considered it exercise when I have been the sole adult responsible for two or more young children for periods of nine hours or longer at a time.  If you see me running down the sidewalk, it’s probably because someone scary is chasing me.  The only gym I’ve frequented pretty much daily for months on end has been the jungle gym where I take the kids to play.  I honestly don't know who to recommend for this category as it's not one I read a whole lot about or do much with.

3. High Book Deal Drama

Several popular bloggers have published a book or two, contributed to some anthologies, have a slew of articles that have appeared in National Catholic Register and other such online and in print publications, and/or they are in the process of polishing their manuscript with the help of an interested press who’s offered them a contract.  Though I’m a voracious reader and an avid writer, I have not landed a book deal or made it big in the world of publishing, yet.
I’m a cradle Catholic who has never really fallen away from the faith, so I don’t have a conversion story to tell that begins with me as a fiercely independent atheist who one day meets prince charming, who happens to be a devout Catholic, adventurous enough to have more children than I can count on one hand, and still have time to carve high-quality wooden toys of Montessori quality and appeal that will help form their brood into the saints of tomorrow…

To read a great conversion story and hilarious book about a family with many kids, check out Clan Donaldson or for a slightly more serious smattering of stories from a number of great Catholic authors visit Moxie Wife.

2. Precious Pics & Not-so-precious Moments

I do have a bazillion precious pictures I’ve taken of babies, toddlers, young children, elementary school kids, family events, art projects, mysterious messes (like Grace over at Camp Patton)…but I have to be even more careful and diplomatic about what I post than most others because of reason #1.

1. Kids & Clan Members

My husband and I don’t have a house full of kids.  Let me be more specific.  We don’t have a house, and we don’t have any children for whom we are biologically or legally responsible.  As you can imagine, this makes it basically impossible for me to have anything close to a successful mommy blog.

I have been taking care of children, teaching them, nannying for them, babysitting, tutoring, helping to homeschool for the past 22 years, so there are a good number of children who have brightened my life and a select group of them who have a very special place in my heart.  I recently received a clear answer from the Lord that it's time to move on from nannying, though my husband and I aren't sure of what's next.  Please keep us in prayer as we discern the Lord's will for our lives and our family.  We're doing our best trusting God when unsure of what's next.

God bless you and all of your loved ones young and old!

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