Saturday, January 4, 2014

It’s Time to Move On: Trusting God When Unsure of What’s Next

I rarely like any news that begins with “it’s time to move.”  My family has had to relocate out-of-state multiple times while I was growing up due to my father’s successful career in pharmaceutical sales.  I hated having to start new in each place, being the new kid on the block as well as at school.  I never liked saying goodbye to friends.  In the fall of 2012,  my mom sold the only family home my sisters and I lived in and/or visited since I had just finished my sophomore year of high school and was about to meet the man I would one day get to date and eventually marry.
When I got older, the moves I made were usually my choice.  Roanoke for college, Paris, France, to study abroad, Rochester, New York in the summers to be near Kevin, Richmond to get married and settle down were all my decisions.  It was still hard to say goodbye to friends as well of the children whom I took care of in each of those places, but I knew mostly when the end of my time somewhere would be.     

It is only because God has recently made it clear that moving on is what He wants of me (of us) now that I have the courage to take this step.  I don’t like major changes, and I honestly don’t know what’s next for us, but we’re doing our best to trust God with everything and do what He tells us.  This is why my last day nannying for the three silly sisters I love so dearly will be on Thursday, January 16, 2014.
I’ve gone through a time of mourning each time I have stopped taking care of little ones for an extended period.  It was hardest and most painful when I stopped nannying for “my little guys.”  The grief over not seeing them for 50+ hours each week hit me in waves in the two months up to my last day of taking care of them as their nanny and for several months after.  On some days and in some ways, it felt as if I was losing two sons.  Even now, I still think of and pray for “my two little guys” and keep in touch with their families.

Knowing how much I love and get attached to the children I take care of, it was only out of a clear ‘yes, do this’ from the Lord and a sincere love for the family who has “adopted” my husband and me that I was even willing to consider nannying for anyone again.  I honestly didn’t think I would be willing to risk loving children so much who would only be in my care for a limited time. 

I’m hoping and praying that this transition will go as smoothly as possible for all of us and that this period of grieving (on my end) will be lighter and easier to deal with since we are close friends/family as well as the twins’ Godparents.  We aren’t saying goodbye, just seeyasoon as opposed to see you in the morning.   
My very talented husband has been out of work since he was let go on Labor Day (I know, crazy, right?!), and we have been without health insurance since mid-November, so it doesn’t seem all that logical for me to stop nannying right now.  However, I’ve found that what God leads us to isn’t often what makes sense to us at the time, nor is it the easiest path, but it has always, (every single time!), turned out to be the best for all involved. 
Kevin’s still looking for a full-time job with benefits and getting things together to patent his invention.  My immediate plans are to pick up more hours as a substitute teacher at RMS, give private French and Creative Writing lessons, and possibly do some after-school programs as I have in the past.  With some freelance writing and editing, and perhaps a creative writing workshop or two for adults, we should be able to manage.  I’ve also gotten the nudge to put a manuscript in order of my adventures in nannying and childcare, so I’ll be doing that as well.
My husband and I would very much appreciate your prayers as we continue discerning what God wants of us next in all areas of our lives and do our best to carry it out.  The prayer God first inspired me to pray many years ago still rises in my heart: Lord, plant Your Will in our hearts and make it our deepest desire and most fervent longing.  Amen.               
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...