Triage for Christmas Correspondence

In 2011, I came up with the following solution to our holiday bulk mailing predicament: triage for our Christmas Card List In the event that you didn’t receive a Christmas card from Kevin and me this year, rejoice and be glad!  

No, really.  I’ve decided this year to concentrate my card writing/mailing efforts first and foremost on family and friends of ours who 1.) are currently in the hospital 2.) were just released from the hospital after major surgery 3.) are serving in the US military overseas, and/or 4.) have lost a loved one in the past six months. 

     
One reason for this was that I wrote a personal note on each card I sent, so it took much longer than the sign and stamp kind.  Since we had a number of loved ones who fit into one of the above categories, I concentrated my energy on prayers, phone calls, and notes of encouragement for them.  

   

Please don’t be offended.  I assure you we’re keeping all of our family, friends, and loved ones far and near in prayer.  Thanks to all of you who have filled our mailbox with love, adorable photos, and kind cards!      This year, we will still be praying for all of the friends and family who are currently in the hospital, are serving in the US military overseas, and/or have lost a loved one in the past six months, but due to a variety of circumstances we have had to do triage for our entire Christmas Correspondence this year so most of you won't be receiving snail mail letting you know in writing of our prayers and thoughts for you. 

If you’ve sent us a card wishing us a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, thanks, you rock!

If you haven’t, we totally and completely understand!

If you’re waiting for a card from us, please see the below qualifications for this year’s version of Triage for Christmas Correspondence.

7 Qualifications for Receiving Christmas Correspondence via Snail Mail in 2013 from the Potters’ (Let’s be realistic now: this means a card or letter from Trisha that Kevin has heard or read and signs, too)

If there was a period of thirty days or more over the past calendar year during which:

      1.      You and I talked to and/or texted each other daily.
2.      We hung out a few times a week.
3.      Regularly sat together at Mass together and other church-related activities.
4.      You have eaten several meals at our place.
5.      You have at any time received an actual text message from my husband.
6.      You have been in a cloistered convent.
7.      You are only allowed to receive mail at Christmas and Easter due to being a postulant in a cloistered convent.    

How Faith, Technology, and You Can Be Part of the New Evangelization

Each of us has a unique story, a special relationship with God that others can and want to learn from.  There are many ways we can share what God has done in our lives and point out to others what we can see Him doing in, through, and around them.  When it comes right down to it, the most important aspects of life we can share with others are those that stem from a close relationship with Jesus Christ.  Participation in the Sacraments, a conscious effort to grow in holiness, and how we live our lives are three of the most essential, powerful witnesses to God’s unconditional love, mercy, compassion, forgiveness, peace, joy, and hope our world.  Because of technology and our ever-changing world, many people are seeking Truth, looking for answers, and learning about faith in new ways. 

What are some types of technology that have it easier for you to keep in touch with family, friends, conduct business, etc.?  Most people answer: cell phones, the Internet, websites, blogs, social media, iPods & MP3 players for music, podcasts, lectures, movies and TV shows, Youtube, and Skype are the main types of technology that has allowed them to connect with friends, family, neighbors, clients, customers, and readers from around the globe. 

Do you use your cell phone as a tool for evangelizing and spreading the love of the Lord?

Here’s an excerpt from a Blog Post I wrote in 2010: Text Messages with Deeper Meaning

      I was having a rough weekend when John, who has become a dear brother to Kevin and me, reached out via text messages to remind me of God’s love, His view of me, and how both remain the same regardless of how I’m feeling.

     While in a cloud of doubt and negativity, John texted me the following messages:

          don't believe the accuser. you are a beloved child of God

          He will give you the strength to keep going

          Remember that every hair on your head is numbered. Not a sparrow falls to the ground          

          without your Heavenly Father's knowledge. u are worth much more than sparrows

          As the Father has loved me so I have loved you. -Our Lord Jesus

          Remember that even Mary said she was the Lord's lowly servant.

          Read psalm 139. He loves you so much. don't worry about accepting it but give Him    

          what little you can.  That will be enough. I promise. Say Jesus I trust in you

          Don't worry about your feelings. God sees your depth and at your depth you truly love Him.

     Pursue Me, a CD by Danielle Rose that has a song titled “Psalm 139” on it.  Danielle Rose, a music missionary who writes all of her lyrics in the Presence of the Blessed Sacrament, has inspired me a great deal over the years.  I first heard her music in June 2006 when I made my Cursillo weekend, and ever since, she has served as an amazing example of someone who uses the gifts she’s given to spread God’s love, help others grow in their faith, and glorify the Lord by their lives.

That year John gave us a copy of

     Any tool that makes communication and connecting with others easier can be used to evangelize.  For example, many people have apps on their phones and/or tablets for praying the Rosary, the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, the Liturgy of the Hours, and the daily Mass readings.

     Social media has become an extremely popular way of interacting with others.  It’s changed the way we find out and what we think about current events.  I know that Facebook has dramatically changed who and how I am in touch with people including family members, friends, other Catholics, Christians, authors, motivational speakers, prominent priests, publishers, writers, bloggers, book enthusiasts, Respect Life advocates…

     Can Facebook and other types of social media actually help us live out our vocation to spread the Gospel with our lives?  Absolutely!  Here’s how:

o   Prayer requests

o   Respect Life photos, stories and advertisements

o   Pointing out discrepancies between mainstream secular media coverage versus what the Pope actually says and what the Catholic Church teaches

o   Spreading awareness of social justice issues and solutions

o   Sharing political concerns and information

o   A fast, fun way to share things with personal connections, family, and friends

o   Sharing the Gospel through articles, cartoons, photos, music, videos

What do your status message, photos, and the things you post on your Facebook wall and other people’s say about who and what is important to you? 

Here is a smattering of the different types of things you can share on Facebook that could be considered a form of evangelization:

An article about Pope Francis from a Catholic, not secular news source

·         A personal prayer: Lord, help us this day and each to glorify You by embracing the Truth that we are made in Your image, known by You intimately, and loved by You unconditionally. Amen.
·         A quote from Scripture
·         A prayer request or a praise to the Lord for something He’s done in your life
·         A song that has inspired you in your walk with the Lord and understanding of your calling to be a light for others

          A video about someone who is living out their faith in an inspiring, unique, and/or exceptional way

1.   How have the internet, cell phones, and social media changed the way we interact and communicate?

2.   Have you been using technology to evangelize others?  If so, how? If not, why not?

      There are a number of great books that deal with the topics of technology and evangelization, but
these are two of the ones I've read in recent years and found particularly well-written, creative and informative:

The Church and New Media by Brandon Vogt

The Evangelization Equation by Fr. James A Wehner STD (Sacrae Theologiae Doctor

Things Your Toddler Might Be Thinking (My Nanny Diary)

“You have fun putting those books back on the shelf, because it’s gonna take me a whole two seconds to dump them all back on the floor again...which is where I want them to stay anyway.”

“Oh, look a Cheerio!  Still mostly crunchy with only a little dirt on it. Scrumptious!”

“Hi!!!” 

“Go ahead.  Make my day!  Pull out those blocks again, and I’ll show you who’s boss.”

  

“Let me outta here or I’m going to scream, yell, kick, flail my arms, throw my head, arch my back, and basically whatever else I got to do to get your attention and your submission pronto.  Am I making myself crystal clear?”

“It’s peanut butter jelly time!”

“Take that!” the little one thinks after thrusting a book in your hand.  “Yeah, that’s the one I want to hear.  Yes, again!  Come on, it’s not that hard.  Mr. Brown can do it.  I’m sure you can manage, too.  Here let me help you: Moo, buzz, yada, yada, yada, knock, knock.”

 

“Miiiiiiiiiilk!  I’m so thirsty, I think I’ll drink a whole three sips before I pour as much of this out as I can before someone tries to stop me.

“If I shake this gate hard enough, it will swing open, and I will be able to wreak the havoc I have contemplated every single time I see that stupid contraption which mercilessly thwarts my efforts.”

“Run!  It’s a bear!”

"The itsy bitsy spider...if you're happy and you know it clap your hands."

Oh, how nice.  It’s a clean, dry diaper.  Time to take a big, stinky, messy dump!

Knock, knock, knock. Little pig, little pig, let me come in.  Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin (whatever that is).

Here we go again.  Looks like they put away all the books, blocks, and toys I put right where I wanted them.  Some people never learn.  I go to sleep and they put things in strange places and I can’t find anything at all.  I never get a rest.  They keep messing everything up when I’ve finally gotten it where I want it, and I have to start all over again. 

Row, row, row, row your boat gently down the scream. Maylee, maylee, maylee, maylee, life is buttercream.

I have just about had it!  I go to all of the trouble of sprinkling my cereal and snack foods on the floor, so I can eat them when I feel like it instead of when I’m strapped into a seat and given a big white surface that they won’t let me use the way I want to.  Maybe I don’t want my food on a plate, in a bowl, or on my spoon.  Did you ever consider that there’s a pattern here?  If you would just put my food on the floor and let me eat it when I feel like it, then we wouldn’t have to do this whole thing where you put things on my tray, I toss them off, you get cranky and put them back on or throw them out.  This is really rather ridiculous, but the show must go on.

Bye!!!!!

Note to Reader: This list has been inspired by many years of taking care of young children.  Some of my guesses about what they're thinking have been confirmed when they start talking more and/or become even more proficient in baby sign language, so I know more of the time what's going on in their little heads. Others just seem likely to follow the actions observed by toddlers throughout the course of most given days.     

How Many Times Do I Have to Tell You…?!

     I have often heard and/or started this question with exasperation, anger, frustration, and aggravation.  Have you ever heard someone say or said to someone else: how many times do I have to tell you…?  My guess is that you have and that at some point you have even said these words.  

     Perhaps the opening question was paired with one of the following: tie your shoes, don’t pick your nose, there are no monsters living under your bed, do your homework, don’t bite your nails, wash your hands with soap and water for 20 seconds every time you use the bathroom and before you eat, of course that’s not a poisoned apple, rinse your dirty dishes before you put them in the sink or the dishwasher, clean clothes belong inside your dresser not on top of it, wipe your feet on the mat before you come inside, the big bad wolf is not knocking at our door, use your silverware, wipe your mouth off with your napkin not your sleeve, stop shouting, speak up, share your toys, pick up your books, stop hitting, kicking, whining, settle down, don’t run, calm down, buck up, leave your scab alone, pick up the mess you made, your milk is to drink not pour on the floor, turn out the lights when you’re not using them, say grace before meals,

stop blowing bubbles in your chocolate milk, even princesses have to follow rules, remember to say please and thank you, chew with your mouth closed, don’t put your shoes on the furniture, eat your vegetables or you won’t get dessert, don’t laugh when someone gets hurt…

     We don’t like it when people don’t listen to us.  We want to be heard, have our thoughts and concerns noted, and our feelings accepted as valid.  When we have to repeat things over and over again, we get frustrated, whether young or old. 

 

     Sometimes I’m so busy critiquing my own thoughts and actions as well as correcting and guiding those of the young people left in my care (and truth be told, also advising and making suggestions to my husband) that I’m not as good about listening.  I know.  It's shocking, right?

     I make the same mistake in my prayer life all the time.  I go to God with all of these people, concerns, situations, and requests, but I don’t spend nearly as much time being still and listening.  It’s so flipping difficult sometimes to allow myself time to be in the Presence of the Lord rather than bouncing from one item on my to-do list to another.

     How many times does God have to tell us to slow down, make time for Him, pray, listen more, worry less, accept His unconditional love though we don’t deserve it and could do nothing to earn it, receive His limitless mercy, embrace His forgiveness and compassion, know that He will never leave us or forsake us, be not afraid, let Him be our strength, He will turn our tears into dancing, our night into day, our struggles into blessings…?  

     This is one of my all-time favorite songs, definitely a perfect one for my life, by the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir.  It's called "So You Would Know," but you'll recognize a number of questions asked in a totally different way.

     

Children Are Always Recording Audio and Video (My Nanny Diary)

Any time children are partially awake and conscious, you can be fairly certain they are recording everything you say and do, even if they seem to be totally occupied with whatever fun, possibly noisy toy currently in hand. 

If you have an infant or are around toddlers or any young children, it’s a good time to reprogram your vocab to G-rated and fine-tune your shut-up filter, because everything you say (and do) can and likely will be repeated generally at the most inopportune time.  Any words shouted or said with any sort of extra emotion will be the most likely candidates for new vocabulary acquisition. 

That’s why so many kids learn “NO!” very early on, because they hear it all the time.  “Up” and “down” are two other ones children tend to learn very early.  Seinfeld does a great bit where he talks about this phenomenon.    

Many Occasions for Humility

There’s no way around it, really; whatever you say can and will be used against you.  It provides many occasions for humility (in case being peed, pooped, spit-up, thrown-up, and sneezed on hasn’t produced a sufficient amount of that in your life, yet.)

   
 Having spent a lot of time working with and caring for children of a variety of ages, I’ve gotten pretty darn good about keeping exclamations—even in the midst of an emergency or crisis—G-rated around little people.  I figure I’ve already had enough explaining to do when I have a little one shouting things like: “Where my ho’?” on the playground.  I did actually have this happen to me and quickly rephrased the question for the little tike so as not to be shunned from the church playground forever: “You mean: Where’s my gardening tool?” 

He had been helping his parents working in the garden recently, and there was a plastic hoe and other gardening tools in the sandbox in that playground area, but that’s certainly not what it must have sounded like to the other mommies and nannies at the playground that day. 

   
I’m all for encouraging kids to learn the proper names for things, but only when it doesn’t get us kicked out of the sandbox.  I’m sure it didn’t help a whole lot that when a car would drive by with really loud rap music playing that the same little one would stop whatever he was doing on the playground and start his bounce dancing.       

      
Sometimes it’s hard not to laugh when kids come out with something you know they must have heard at home that couldn’t possibly have been intended to be repeated anywhere. ever.  I’ll admit I laughed hysterically when I was reading a book by Anne Lamott in which she talks about how she came to the realization that she and her son had gotten in the habit of using some words that were inappropriate.  I can’t in good conscience quote exactly what either of them said (as it’s not G-rated), but if you’d like to read it directly (and I think you’ll want to), you can find that particular excerpt of Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life.

     Minor Misunderstandings

They will happen all of the time anyway, because kids fill in the words that they think you said or make up their own when recounting a story.  Case in point, just this morning we had the following exchange:  

   
“Dad is a she,” Sunshine said.

    
“Your dad is a he.  Your mom is a she,” I replied.

   
“My mom is not a sheep!” she said emphatically with more than a little attitude working.

   
I explained that I did not call her mom a sheep, but I’m not sure if that really sank in, so I informed her mother of the conversation because I knew she’d be amused and also in case later during dinner or bedtime she recounted to her mom what she thought I’d said.       

    
We had quite a few mishaps when my youngest sister, who is 11 years younger than I am, would repeat and/or mess up something one of us had said and announce it to family, friends, guests, etc. at the most awkward times.  Some of the mix-ups were just plain hilarious. 

Once my cousin had been telling us a story about how she'd been visiting UC Berkeley and had seen two women walking around holding hands wearing nothing but tie-dyed socks.  She added that she didn't think the two of them had ever seen a razor.  Most of this went right over my youngest sister's head.  Later when my sister was retelling the story to someone, I heard her say that “the two women looked liked they'd never seen a raisin.”  Then she added, "I don't know how she could tell that, though."

    

Running commentary

As those who know me are already aware, I absolutely love spending time with little ones.  It isn’t long before I go into “running commentary” mode where, for purposes of learning and language acquisition, I describe everything around us and all the things we’re doing as we go.

    
I did this so often on walks with “my little guys” that they got to the point when they’d know what was coming next and get excited and tell me before I had a chance to say a word: fire station, library, church with bells that ring and that at noon and 6pm play two songs…  

   
I’m glad to know I haven’t lost this valuable time-with-toddlers instinct from my earlier days as a nanny.  Apparently my “running commentary” switch still works.  That being said I don’t need it or use it quite as much when there’s also a preschooler in the house, because her commentary is pretty much always running.  And by that I mean, pretty much whenever she’s awake her mouth is running, which can be as amusing and entertaining as it can be exhausting and annoying when it goes on for hours.  

In short, it’s easier to tone it down a tad when little ones are in earshot, so you are less likely to find yourself explaining to a concerned adult how it is that your child knows certain words, phrases, or exclamations. 

     

If Aristotle's Kid Had an iPod: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Parents

What if Aristotle’s kid had an iPod?  Chances are his father would have severely limited him using it and any similar electronic devices in favor of fostering human interaction, real life experiences, and face-to-face conversations. Don’t let the title fool you.  If Aristotle’s Kid Had an iPod: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Parents is a very catchy title and cover photo, but it seems to contradict the actual knowledge conveyed in the book.  What Conor Gallagher in his modern-day application of Aristotle’s concepts claims (in a nutshell) is that parents and children need to spend more time together unplugged.  I wholeheartedly agree for a myriad of reasons.  

     
Most of us have been out for a meal and have seen a parent talking, texting, surfing the net on their phone while their young child stares at them likely wondering what they’d have to do to get some quality time and attention.  What I like best about this book is the emphasis and importance placed on close relationships and the suggestions of how we can do a better job of creating deeper bonds with our family members and friends that will lead us to true happiness and guide our children to value people and morality.

     

Have you forgotten what it’s like to unplug and spend quality time with the people in your life?  Would you be willing to turn off the TV, cell phone, iPod, computer, game system…in order to reconnect with your loved ones?  How would it affect your marriage, your relationship with your kids, your friendships if you made unplugging a regular thing in order to deepen the bonds among you? 

     

I know I’ve definitely fallen into ruts when I am plugged in more often than not, and I can see how it adversely affects my closest relationships as well as my sense of peace and wellbeing.  I’m someone who is really bothered by having the TV on all of the time because I have a hard time concentrating completely on what else is going on.  I make it very clear that I cannot and will not attempt to have a serious, in-depth conversation while the TV is on or while someone has headphones on, or is using the computer.  I realize part of this hang-up came from learning that we better not disturb Dad when he was watching sports on TV.  We might as well not exist while there was a game on that he was interested in. 

     

Gallagher who is married and has eight children doesn’t suggest you give away or destroy all of your electronics, nor does he condemn all forms of entertainment and interaction available through them.  He simply gives a wake-up call that these are not what will make your children (or you) truly happy or satisfied in life.  In fact, many of the examples he uses are based on Aristotle’s theories and recent scientific research that support the philosopher’s fundamental claims. 

     

My hands-down favorite passages of the book are those with clear messages that Aristotle would have unplugged his kid.  Gallagher provides parents with what he calls: “Aristotle’s Challenge” to help you and your children see how deeply entrenched many of us have become in the world of electronic gizmos and gadgets to the detriment of real life and real time interactions.

    

Usually, I’m not much one for underlining or highlighting books that I’m reading, but there’s one paragraph that grabbed me and won’t let me go, so I had to mark it.  Here’s an excerpt from it: “…With the onslaught of TV and game systems Androids and iPods and iPads and e-mail, we’ve begun to ignore our own family members.  There’s too much interruption and too much noise.  It’s very hard to turn off all the devices and simply talk.  Chances are good you’ve forgotten how…” (pg. 96)

     

Aristotle was right about many things, including what brings true fulfillment in life: the pursuit of virtue and the strengthening of relationships.  I’ve been aware for quite some time that being plugged in all or most of the time harms relationships, but If Aristotle’s Kid Had an iPod reminded me of the bigger reasons why we need to make a shift as much for our own lives as for kids and others closest to us. 

     

For more information about If Aristotle’s Kid Had an iPod: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Parents or to order your own copy of the book, click here.  I received a free copy of this book from Saint Benedict Press in order for writing an honest review of it.

Times of Transition, Loneliness, Being Honest, Forging True Friendships

I originally wrote most of this in a letter to encourage and support a friend going through a major life transition, knowing that these are many of the lessons I’ve needed to be reminded of during each significant move or change in my own life.  

     
I know it’s hard to do, but when you’re missing aspects of the life you used to lead, it’s fine to tell someone back home that, however, it will help you get settled and can be a tremendous grace when you share what you’re thinking and feeling with someone who’s there with you.  Chances are many are feeling the same way or have other things they’re missing that they’d be more likely to share if they knew they weren’t the only ones getting used to things being so different there from what they’re used to. 
     
It’s always been hard for me to open up emotionally, but there have been people throughout my life the Lord has given me who I can be more myself with than I can with most people.  Obviously, my husband Kevin’s one of those people for me, but there have been a select group of others as well. 
     
Your getting settled and making new friends there will involve letting your guard down sometimes.  I’ve often found that if I’m willing to be honest and vulnerable that it makes others feel more comfortable doing the same.  You will need friends there you can really talk with.
      
Forging close friendships where you are will make the difference in you feeling settled and that will be an integral part of your growth and experience of God and the Body of Christ.
     
God loves you without “the mask” or suit of armor, and so do many other people. With that in mind, accept the gifts of courage and humility to be honest if someone who genuinely wants to know asks how you’re doing.  It’s okay to tell someone you trust and see yourself being friends with that you feel a bit overwhelmed, frustrated, lonely, miss your family…
     
Yet again, I know all of this is easier said than done.  Often, I still have to force myself to let people closest to me know what I’m thinking and feeling for fear that I’ll be judged, rejected, criticized or even abandoned.  It’s often a struggle in new situations, but it’s worth the effort.  We need people around us who know us well and love us anyway.  It’s a gift to be able to form relationships with others around our likes and dislikes, our strengths and weaknesses, but it’s most rewarding when we can be our true selves and let others be their true selves, especially when both people want God at the center of their lives.      
     
I know that others will come to love you dearly when they get to know who you are.  This is an important time to expand your lovelines family.  You’re not the only one missing home.  You’re not the only one who has felt they have to be “on” all the time. 
     
There are people who have come to love you so much because they know you so well.  Give others the chance to get to know you and make the effort to get to know some other people on a deeper level. 
     
Also remember that the first few weeks, even the first few months, you’re adjusting to a number of things, meeting lots of new people, and getting into a lifestyle and schedule that are vastly different from what you’re used to.  It’s normal to feel overwhelmed.  This is a huge transition.  Give yourself time to get adjusted, but in the meantime, be honest with yourself, God, and a few trusted friends when you’re not feeling comfortable or that you’ve gotten into your new groove yet. 
  
Lord, give us the courage to be vulnerable with others, especially when it will help us be better vessels of your love, compassion, comfort, encouragement, support, and peace.  Amen.

Here's a follow-up post to this one since it seemed to hit home with so many readers: Not Practically Perfect in Any Way.

Love Remains & Makes a Wrinkle in Time

     I love you.     I miss you.  I’m grateful you’re in my life.  I’m praying for you.                                                              Those are four of the messages that have touched me deeply.  In the past week, it has been quite humbling, and in many ways healing, to go back through the letters, notes, cards, and such that I’ve saved over the years from family and close friends. 

     
Sometimes I can forget how powerful it is to receive a card, letter, or note from a loved one.  Many of us have gotten so used to texting, chatting, e-mailing, and maybe even picking up the phone once in a while that written correspondence seems even more precious.
     
Since the last complete sorting, recycling, cleaning out of our family room that I did, I’ve come to a new place with some things that let me know that I’ve grown, healed, and am ready to move forward.  This time through all my saved letters, cards, and notes from over the years, I was able to reread then recycle the ones that were for my bridal shower, our wedding, and the sympathy cards after my dad, James Lester Niermeyer, passed away in 2009.

Have I Told You Lately?
     
I’ve been re-struck by the overflowing, love, tenderness, and joy that is expressed in the mail I received from my dad, mom, sisters, Kevin, other family members, and close friends.  When I’ve drifted apart from some of the people that I used to be very close with, I tend to forget that there was a time when they were often reaching out to express their love for me in a variety of ways. 
    
Fortunately, genuine love remains.  The love others have given me has never been lost, even if different circumstances in my life kept me from being able to receive it as readily, openly, and gratefully as they would have liked at the time.  I don’t know where I’d be or who I’d be if the Lord, my parents, family, close friends, and loved ones only expressed love to me when I was receptive to it, when I had accomplished something, or when I was easy to love. 

Real Love Leaves Scars
     
Monsignor Shreve, the priest who officiated our wedding, gives a great sermon about how real love leaves scars.  It’s true.  Real love is sacrificial.  It doesn’t show up only when it’s convenient, easy, when all is well, but also, and perhaps more importantly, love is there when everything falls apart, when our defenses are up, and we make it virtually impossible to let any affection or compassion in.    
In the same way, the love we give is never lost, even if others aren’t in a place where they are able to receive, absorb, or appreciate it the way we’d like at present.  I definitely need that reminder.  Our commitment to love means sticking it out when others spit in our faces, berate our ministry work, try to take our religious freedom, or attempt to destroy who we are and what we stand for as children of God.

Prepare Me to Be a Sanctuary 
     
Praise God that He loves each and every one of us even when we shut out His love, deny His existence in the world, in ourselves, and in others. 
     
Lord, I would like to learn Your selfless, unconditional love so that I may share it with others.  I pray that You would help me to accept Your love, though I know I don’t deserve it and can do nothing to merit it, so that I would be able to love others as You do.  Make me a living sanctuary for You.  I know I will never be able to give anyone all of the love, compassion, affection, and hope that they want and need in this life.  You alone can do that.  Only inasmuch as I am a vessel for You can such love flow through me.  Lord, I pray for Your Will.          

Crazy Busy and Super Sick

     The past month has been crazy busy.  So much so that I have a better understanding for family members and friends who tend to disappear from the face of the earth at times.  I was so tired after work, ministry commitments, and doing what I could to care for my husband who’s been really sick with bronchitis this past week, that most of the time I didn’t feel like texting or calling anyone in the evenings to see how they were doing or let them know I’ve been thinking of them. 

     This is significant for me, not because I’ve never been crazy-busy before, but because I have sometimes felt really hurt and slighted when family members or close friends haven’t bothered getting in touch, even just to say hi.  I’ve tried to make a mental note of how draining this kind of busy-ness on top of being sick with the yucky cold that’s going around while hovering at the same time has affected me, so that I cut others more slack. 

     It gives me a little hope and comfort to think that maybe my sisters don’t really forget I exist for weeks or months at a time.  I haven’t been very good about keeping in touch with them regularly either, but I think of them and pray for them daily, generally many times a day. 

     Last week someone we hadn’t seen or talked with in ages told me that Kevin and I had been on his prayer list for a long time.  The gentleman said he keeps a list of people he’s praying for on the refrigerator, and we’ve been on it for months.  This reminds me of two posts I wrote awhile back called Prayers for You in Progress and A Cloud of Witnesses. 

     I find it comforting and uplifting to know that others are thinking of and praying for us though we haven’t seen or heard from them in months, just as we have many loved ones in our thoughts and prayers who we haven’t been as great about reaching out to as we could be. 

No Human's Health Left Behind

     It’s very important that we do engage in discussion with people who have opposing views.  I believe it’s best to do so in a way that is as non-threatening as possible, but it needs to be done. 

     Fortunately, I have been able to have a great many discussions, chats, e-mail exchanges, and such with people who have very different political, ethical, moral, and/or religious views from those I hold.  The exchanges I have gotten the most out of are those I’ve had with people I know genuinely care and have compassion for others.  With that basis, I have an easier time answering questions or responding to objections than I would with someone I’m not sure at their center really cares about other people and what’s best for them. 

     I think it is a pretty natural tendency for us to want to avoid conflict.  We’d rather not have our thoughts and beliefs tested, especially in a way that seems mostly confrontational or adversarial.  For me, it’s been a good lesson to remember when I engage others in discussion about controversial topics. 

     Am I more likely to read or listen to what someone has to say if I know that they are considering my position and addressing my concerns? 

Whose Requests Are Pending?

     Is it a more a sign of the times or willful defiance that makes me not feel too disturbed by the fact that I have seven pending requests God wants me to know?  Maybe both, or perhaps it’s because the messenger in this case is merely an application on Facebook telling me there are seven things God has been trying to tell me between January 31 and today. 

     Quite honestly, I’m sure there have been a whole lot more than just seven things He’s been trying to get through to me in the past nineteen days.  Fortunately, I do unplug from the computer, TV, my phone, etc. to tune in to God’s will during the day, so He’s reached me through a number of other methods.    
     Lent is just around the corner.  I’ve begun asking the Lord in my quiet prayer time how He would like me to observe this holy time of preparation and transformation leading up to Holy Week and Easter.  I’m still listening and waiting for specifics.  
     Recently I’ve been inspired to do Morning and Evening prayer in addition to attending daily Mass.  All three have been very powerful ways and times during which the Lord has spoken to me and/or helped me understand an aspect of Scripture in a new way.  My husband and I have also been praying the Rosary, especially as we are lifting up the participants of the Men’s Cursillo weekend going on right now. 
     I can't even tell you how many times the Lord speaks through my husband.  Sometimes, I'm more open to that messenger than others. :) I’m clearly feeling a nudge to spend more time in Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.  This evening Kevin assured me that he's not giving daily Mass up for Lent, which is indeed some great news!

Questions for reflection:

     When was the last time you spent some unplugged quiet time alone with God? 

     What methods has the Lord used to speak to you or through you in the past month?

It's Gettin' Real on My Facebook Wall!

     The following message is Facebook comment 70 of 70 (the last time I checked my wall) in response to this link I posted "Time to Admit It: The Catholic Church Has Always Been Right on Birth Control" on February 10, 2012 at 4:14pm:                  "To be honest, there have been times recently when I have dreaded opening my Facebook account, not because there would be comments contrary to my political, moral, or religious viewpoints, but mostly due to the almost vicious tone with which new ideas, arguments, and perspectives were shared.  I like to encourage discussion and learn what others know, think, feel, have experienced, and discerned in prayer about different issues.  I believe most of the time the discussions, conversations, even debates are ones that help us voice our concerns in a place that’s relatively safe to explore—at least that’s the tone I try to set for the discussions that take place on my wall. 

      In looking at some of the above comments and the accusations, I feel I haven’t been a good facilitator of this particular discussion, and I would like to extend my apologies to each of you along with

Faith at Work: Finding Purpose Beyond the Paycheck

Faith at Work: Finding Purpose Beyond the Paycheck is an in-depth look at how and why we can and should strive to live out our Christian values in the workplace.  I really enjoyed this book.  The personal stories, the concrete ideas and suggestions at the end of each chapter as well as the reflection questions added to the Scripture-based reasoning for making Christ-like behavior and a closer relationship with God and others your two main goals.

     
Through quotes from the Bible, the Catechism, popes and saints, Kevin Lowry underlines the importance of putting God at the center of our lives and gives practical advice on how we can do that even at work in ways that are socially acceptable and likely to open the hearts and minds of others to Christ. 
     
This book also resonated deeply with me is because it often made me think of the ways my husband has, through his strong work ethic, moral sense of responsibility, and the genuine care and concern he has for people, been a Christ-like witness to his co-workers.  It’s kind of interesting that what seems so natural for him has to be studied and learned by others.  I know his friendliness and compassion for others has had a much more profound effect on his co-workers than he even realizes. 

Several of the questions also made me think of my supervisor at work, who is one of the kindest, calmest, gentlest, most loving people I know.  I have talked with people at work about faith and passed along various religious and spiritual books I’ve read, but it would be hard for me to say if I’ve been able to make a difference just by who I am and what comes naturally to me.      
     
I love that Lowry includes tips and suggestions that are reasonable and help us accept the sanctifying grace that can come to us through our jobs, if we know where to look and how to respond when we find the challenges.
   
I highly recommend Faith at Work: Finding Purpose Beyond the Paycheck the book and the practice.  The whole time I was reading it, I was praying for a friend who has been really stressed out by her job lately.  I think I’ll deliver this book to her doorstep with a note of encouragement. 
     
This review was written as part of the Catholic book reviewer program from The Catholic Company. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on Faith at Work: Finding Purpose Beyond the Paycheck. They are also a great source for a Catechism of the Catholic Church or a Catholic Bible.

Third Time's the Charm?

     “I hope I don’t see you soon,” I said, heading out the door.  “Happy new year!” 

     It doesn’t seem like a very nice thing to say, but under the circumstances it was the truth.  Around Dec. 17^th I began experiencing problems with my cell phone.  When I slid out the keyboard, the screen would go blank.  I couldn’t see what I was typing when the keyboard was out, but the rest of the phone worked normally, so I dealt with it. 

     In the next couple days, my screen decided to stay white and blank all the time.  And because it wasn’t supposed to be blank, there was no short little message indicating “This Screen Left Intentionally Blank.”  I always find that message amusing as it makes the screen, card, or paper no longer blank when it’s on there.  I could still make calls and text, but I couldn’t see anything on the screen, so I was limited to those people whose numbers I know or whose place on my list of contacts I could remember. 

A Delayed Reaction

     My husband and I went to the Verizon store before Christmas, and they suggested I just upgrade my phone since we were eligible and it wasn’t likely my phone could easily be fixed.  I got the newer version of the phone I had.  The salesman added my contacts to the new phone, and I got a new car charger.  The one I had before would have worked if it hadn’t somehow gotten bent.  Yes, there is a pattern here: cell phones, accessories, and I don’t always work well together. 

     I thought the surreal screensaver on the new phone was kind of cool, and it was nice to have a screen that worked.  A few days of using the phone, though, and I got a little frustrated.  When I pushed a button, it would take literally 5-7 seconds before the phone would respond.  Holy delayed reaction, Batman!  It was a minor inconvenience most of the time, but a real project when I tried to text someone quickly. 

It Could Be Worse

     Now mind you, this has been in no way as bad as the cell phones and mobile service through T-Mobile that my mom and sister have.  Their issues have been significantly worse.  My mom texts Theresa, and it will sometimes take 8 hours for the text to show up on my sister’s phone.  As you can imagine, it is more than just a tad inconvenient that it would literally take about as much time to drive all the way up to Ohio, roughly an eight hour trip from here, and talk with my sister in person rather than text her. 

     One of the most extreme signs of needing to get a new cell phone and new service