7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 107)

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Leaving a Legacy The Last Lecture was one of the books my dad read and had hung onto.  I put it on my bookshelf figuring I’d get around to it eventually.  I’ve been thinking of my dad James Niermeyer a lot lately because of Father’s Day and the time I’ve spent sorting through boxes of photos and memorabilia of his that I brought to our place after he passed away.  Another thing that’s brought my dad to mind is that I’ve been praying for a couple different families whose fathers recently passed away leaving their wives and young children behind.  I know why my dad enjoyed this book: it’s about reaching your childhood dreams, making a difference in people’s lives, and leaving your mark on your family, friends, and colleagues…Read more of this reflection here. 

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One Last Lecture from Dad I’m not sure of everything my father would have thought most important to share, but I know that faith would definitely have played a big role in his talk.  I am positive he would have told some of the hilarious stories about how he and his brothers got into trouble over the years.  He would probably have mentioned how much he looked up to each of them a great deal. 

     I’m not sure of all of the messages he would have included for his three daughters, though.  I guess one of the biggest questions I have is: what would my dad’s talk have included after he’d retired from being one of the top executives at a major corporation, when he had long since lost his football player physique, and when he was faced with the certitude of an early death?  I know from our many talks and visits in the last few years of his life that he saw many things differently from the way he once did.  I know some of what mattered most to him, he wrote about in his Footprints in the Sand Prayer journal.

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What’s Up and Coming Kevin and I have been getting our place in order and even doing some more decorating (I feel rather ridiculous saying that considering one of my sister’s has a perfectly decorated house that could be in magazines, but at least we’re making some effort.)  We’ve been inspired to make a Rochester, New York wall, since that’s where Kevin and I first met, where we became good friends, spent lots of time together over the years, and where we return to each summer for some time on the Lake.  The first thing on the wall is a framed chart of Lake Ontario.  The next thing we’ll likely put up are a select

sampling of the bazillion photos I’ve taken of sunsets, Ontario Beach Park, and some of our other favorite hang-outs.  We’re waiting to get back the cross-stitch I gave Kevin at our wedding reception and make that another focal point of the wall. 

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Free Giveaway I have some really special friends who have such unusual experiences which make for absolutely hilarious stories. This week my friend Michele stopped by and told me a great one.  She’s been getting rid of, giving away, selling, donating…most of her earthly possessions in anticipation of entering a cloistered monastery this August 6, but she was a little too hasty in one of her giveaways.  She made herself dinner one evening, opened the cupboard and realized she’d given away the only two plates she owned to a neighbor who liked them.  She bashfully knocked on the friend’s door and told her the dilemma, which made for a great laugh all around.  Michele, I'm really going to miss you popping over to say hi, share a funny story, have a deep discussion, watch a great movie, take a nap, have some juice, a meal or a snack, you know, whatever you feel like when upon entering our place.  :) 

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Is it naptime, yet? Thursday was one of those long, very trying days taking care of three little girls who have been acting crankier, more tired, and volatile than is normal for them due to a number of factors ranging from developmental milestones, to interrupted sleep, teething, and varying calorie consumption. Lord, thanks for being patient, gentle, and loving with all of us even when we're grumpy and attitudinal to You!

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The Paper Bag Princess This week I brought over a bunch of paper bags I could use to organize and sort things (I learned this method from my mom who used to have dozens of paper bags from the local grocery store in closets and in the attic as her ‘filing system.’)

  When Vivi saw the bags, she asked me if I was going to cut one for her to wear.  Let it never be said that kids aren’t little sponges with frighteningly good memories.  It had to be at least a couple months ago that I brought a paper bag, cut a hole in it for her head and her arms, so she, too, could be a paper bag princess.  She wore it for about two seconds then lost interest in the “costume.”  I can’t blame her.  No pretty colors or fancy frills, but I’m impressed she remembered that activity several weeks after the fact.  I highly recommend The Paper Bag Princess, by the way.  She’s my kind of princess: practical, clever, resourceful, and brutally honest!

    

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Bring Others Closer I wonder what my “last lecture” would include, what main themes and messages from my life I’d insist on having in it.  Perhaps, that’s one of the reasons why I felt this was the right time to read The Last Lecture: I’d like to sit down sooner than later and figure out what’s most important and live in a way that’s evident in my relationships, work, how I spend my time and money. 

     For me, discerning God’s will, carrying it out, glorifying Him, and bringing others closer to Him are what I want and try to build my life around.  One of the main prayers I have prayed over the years, I was inspired to write a while back: “Lord, please plant Your will in my heart and make it my deepest desire and most fervent longing,” along with: You, Lord, are ALL I have and You give me ALL I need.  My future is in Your Hands.  Lord, I pray for Your Will.    

     Since we don’t always know when we’ll give our “last lecture,” we’re best off living today in a way that would embody the legacy we hope to leave for our loved ones and the generations to come.

                  

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

Times of Transition, Loneliness, Being Honest, Forging True Friendships

I originally wrote most of this in a letter to encourage and support a friend going through a major life transition, knowing that these are many of the lessons I’ve needed to be reminded of during each significant move or change in my own life.  

     
I know it’s hard to do, but when you’re missing aspects of the life you used to lead, it’s fine to tell someone back home that, however, it will help you get settled and can be a tremendous grace when you share what you’re thinking and feeling with someone who’s there with you.  Chances are many are feeling the same way or have other things they’re missing that they’d be more likely to share if they knew they weren’t the only ones getting used to things being so different there from what they’re used to. 
     
It’s always been hard for me to open up emotionally, but there have been people throughout my life the Lord has given me who I can be more myself with than I can with most people.  Obviously, my husband Kevin’s one of those people for me, but there have been a select group of others as well. 
     
Your getting settled and making new friends there will involve letting your guard down sometimes.  I’ve often found that if I’m willing to be honest and vulnerable that it makes others feel more comfortable doing the same.  You will need friends there you can really talk with.
      
Forging close friendships where you are will make the difference in you feeling settled and that will be an integral part of your growth and experience of God and the Body of Christ.
     
God loves you without “the mask” or suit of armor, and so do many other people. With that in mind, accept the gifts of courage and humility to be honest if someone who genuinely wants to know asks how you’re doing.  It’s okay to tell someone you trust and see yourself being friends with that you feel a bit overwhelmed, frustrated, lonely, miss your family…
     
Yet again, I know all of this is easier said than done.  Often, I still have to force myself to let people closest to me know what I’m thinking and feeling for fear that I’ll be judged, rejected, criticized or even abandoned.  It’s often a struggle in new situations, but it’s worth the effort.  We need people around us who know us well and love us anyway.  It’s a gift to be able to form relationships with others around our likes and dislikes, our strengths and weaknesses, but it’s most rewarding when we can be our true selves and let others be their true selves, especially when both people want God at the center of their lives.      
     
I know that others will come to love you dearly when they get to know who you are.  This is an important time to expand your lovelines family.  You’re not the only one missing home.  You’re not the only one who has felt they have to be “on” all the time. 
     
There are people who have come to love you so much because they know you so well.  Give others the chance to get to know you and make the effort to get to know some other people on a deeper level. 
     
Also remember that the first few weeks, even the first few months, you’re adjusting to a number of things, meeting lots of new people, and getting into a lifestyle and schedule that are vastly different from what you’re used to.  It’s normal to feel overwhelmed.  This is a huge transition.  Give yourself time to get adjusted, but in the meantime, be honest with yourself, God, and a few trusted friends when you’re not feeling comfortable or that you’ve gotten into your new groove yet. 
  
Lord, give us the courage to be vulnerable with others, especially when it will help us be better vessels of your love, compassion, comfort, encouragement, support, and peace.  Amen.

Here's a follow-up post to this one since it seemed to hit home with so many readers: Not Practically Perfect in Any Way.

Beaten Down, Not Abandoned

Gone, Missing

     To say this past weekend was a rough one would be a gross understatement, though, it still didn’t register on the hands-down-worst-ever Richter scale for our family crises, and for that, I really am eternally grateful.  On Friday, I went over to my mom’s house while Vivi was napping (since her mom is working from home), and felt really sad, surprised, and disappointed at what I found. 

     I entered the living room and the couch was gone.  It wasn’t one that had been in the family for ages, but it had been a main gathering place at my mom’s aside from the dining room table which I looked up and noticed was also missing.  No one had mentioned to me that the furniture my mom doesn’t intend to keep had already been put on Craigslist, and much of it had already been purchased and picked up before Saturday's scheduled estate sale. 

Memories For Sale    

     Some familiar household decorations, picture frames, handcrafted pieces of religious art, along with various tchotchkes on the built-in shelves in the living room were arranged by price values of $5 and below.  It made me recall the twinge of sadness and regret I felt when my grandma handed me a picture frame to put a 25 cent sticker on for her garage sale many years before.  I don't know if she realized that her wedding invitation was what was in the frame. 

     There was one section of paperback and hardcover books, a table of clothes for a boy baby/toddler, a table of children’s picture books which my parents had read to us when we were little.  (My mom had taken out the ones that were our favorites and saved them.  I would have been really devastated if she’d given away one of the few nostalgic, still comforting pieces of my childhood that remains.)  I already have a small collection of books from our youth at our place, because I bring them with me when I nanny or work at school and share them with the kids in my life. 

The Show Must Go On

     Hanging on a rack in the sunroom were some of my youngest sister Theresa’s many costumes from quite a few dance performances over the years.  Wow!  I’ve been to so many of her recitals, dress rehearsals, Musical Revues, and performances. I miss seeing her dance now that she’s all the way up at The Ohio University.  Truth be told, I miss seeing her period. 

     On the windowsill was a line-up of Disney movies, sing-alongs, and other classic musicals and such on VHS tapes.  When Kevin and I met, he had been woefully deprived of two essential staples of my childhood: Disney movies and Broadway musicals.  Naturally, that had to be remedied sooner than later so he wouldn’t find it quite so odd when my mom, sisters, and I would break into some Disney or Broadway tune at the dinner table.

“The Bon-Ton Incident” 

     There was a rack of shoes and a smattering of handbags set out for $3.  I smiled briefly remembering a particular incident that occurred while I was wearing one small brown backpack I used for a number of years as a purse.  While weighted down with quite a few things in the mini backpack, I’d spun around quickly to tell Kevin I was going to the restroom and accidentally hit my then boyfriend/now husband where it counts. 
     I turned around to see him doubled over on a chair in the furniture section of the Bon-Ton department store and genuinely had no clue that I had unwittingly caused a full-on frontal attack on the family jewels.  I asked him what his problem was.  When he was able to speak again, he told me what happened and eventually was able to laugh about it.  He still, some ten or so years later refers to that unfortunate event as “The Bon-Ton Incident” and cringes whenever he’s spotted that backpack or someone’s made mention of that story.    
   

Hard-hitting Reality Bites

     It hit me hard this weekend (pun-intended) that we’ve already celebrated our last Thanksgiving and Christmas together in the one house still in the family where we have holiday memories that include my dad (who was only in his 50s when he passed away in 2009) and my grandmother, who, praise God, was eventually kicked out of hospice and is still living.  I cried quite a bit on Saturday, some of it at Little Sisters of the Poor, where my grandmother now lives. 

     I returned to the Chapel after Mass to pray for a while after taking Grandma down to her room and visiting briefly.  A tremendous grief and sense of loss came over me.  Once our brother John had finished his hour of prayer before the Blessed Sacrament and left, I had the chapel all to myself.  I burst into tears and sobbed for most of the next hour.  I realize that much of this sense of loss is coming from the many moves we made over the years, the major changes I despised because they were forced upon me, and the sadness that my mom will no longer have a place that’s big enough for my sisters, our spouses, our friends, and loved ones to gather together for a big party or a holiday meal. 

No More Holidays Inn

     We’ve spent our last Thanksgiving and Christmas in the one place where all of us were always welcome, felt at home, and had some special memories.  I feel rather lost, as if I don’t have a home base anymore.  For a number of years, my home base was my grandmother’s house, because we’d travel there every summer regardless of what state we lived in that year.  When my grandmother moved down here, my uncle and his wife bought it from her.  They sold that house when they had to move to Boston, so it’s no longer in the family, either. 

     Yes, Kevin and I have lived in our apartment since the month after we were married, for seven and a half years now, but it doesn’t hold as many memories and history as other places we’ve lived.  We’ve never had everyone over to celebrate a major holiday or even all gather for dinner.  Our place still needs a lot of work and seems like it will never get finished.  This was cause for additional tears and grief this past weekend. 
     I’ve drifted apart from my biological family in many ways, but this weekend brought that fact front and center.  It seems right now that many aspects of our lives are up in the air, and Kevin and I aren’t quite sure what we’re to do next in many areas, but we’re clear we want most to live out God’s will for us.  Fortunately, through the grace of God and some serious prayer cover, we can both agree on this most essential thing. 

Our Eternal Sanctuary

     Lord, thank You for a faith in You that has grown and expanded, and a husband who sees and appreciates the value of putting our lives in Your Hands.  Please help us keep focused on You, and remember that our goal is to help each other grow in holiness and get to Heaven, our one true, never-changing, always filled with love home. Amen.        

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 48)

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Domestic Diva Daze is the best way to describe much of what this week has been like for me as Kevin and I have gone through our place sorting, recycling, giving away, reorganizing things, then going over to my mom’s to do the same thing before the estate sale she’s having this Saturday.  For greater detail on this ordeal, click here.    

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Marriage vs. Priesthood Our dear brother in Christ John sent us this awesome article titled “The Grass Is Brown on Both Sides” that first appeared on one of his favorite Catholic blogs, Word on Fire.  Here is the overview of the article:  “Marriage and religious life are often put on pedestals by folks on the outside looking in. Word on Fire contributor Fr. Damian Ference discusses the tendency to romanticize what we don't have, and highlights the need to accept the cross in both vocations…”

    

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Right on! The following is my response to the above-mentioned article: “Thanks for sharing this. I love this article! It's so very true. Trials, tribulations, and difficulties will arise in whatever vocation God calls us to in order to sanctify us. Often we are faced with similar challenges through different circumstances. If we take the time to listen and be there for others, we'll find out how much we have in common when it comes to our deepest needs, wants, and longings. We yearn for the Lord's love, seek out truth, want to be loved for who we are not what we can do.”

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Little Sponges Taking care of Vivi (who's two years and two months old) has reminded me of what little sponges young children are.  They remember so much it’s mindboggling as well as quite humbling.  She’s really gotten in the groove of our routine and seems to be doing well with it.  She tells me soon after breakfast that she wants to go outside, and she knows that will mean she has to get dressed, that we’ll get the stroller, the diaper bag, then go to my car if we’re going on a fun field trip.  Take care of everything you say and do, children will listen, learn, and likely repeat.

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A Sense of Humor Taking care of children, loving and nurturing them in all of their phases requires a sense of humor in my opinion.  Vivi’s parents definitely possess this gift.  One Sunday when Vivi ran out of the church into the commons after Mass, Jess (her mom who’s due any day now with twin girls) suggested that Carl (her father) go after her.  Carl made some comment to the effect of not worrying about chasing after Vivi since they have a couple spares on the way.   

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Forgoing Vocational Discernment Kevin and I have had many very deep discussions with people who are discerning their lifelong vocations.  We have close friends who we’ve helped apply to religious communities, so that theme has been on our minds quite often.  The other day Jess informed me that Carl has already decided that their soon-to-be-born twins (Livi and Sophia) aren’t going to be allowed to date until Vivi gets married.  She then added that Carl’s going to put Vivi in a convent.    

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Book Review Extravaganza  I haven’t really fallen behind on reading, but since life’s been so hectic lately I have yet to post reviews of some books I have read.  They will be coming.  It’s just been a really crazy week.  I’ve read and received some really impressive books lately, so please stay tuned.  In the meantime, feel free to check out the 100 some book reviews I've already written and posted on my blog.

Head over to Conversion Diary, to read Jen Fulwiler's wonderful tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday.   

Domestic Diva Daze

Since my mom is holding an estate sale at her house this Saturday, I've been scrambling to sort, recycle, give away, and/or trash things at our apartment to make room for the things from her place of mine and Kevin's that we'd like to keep.  I made some serious progress yesterday.  I took a carload of things to the recycling center and a trunk filled with stuff to Goodwill from our place.  I've done this a number of times over the past year, but we're not finished with the process yet. 

    
After dinner, Kevin and I both went over to start sorting through Kevin's tools, electronics, and such in my mom's basement, and between the two of us, we filled three huge black garbage bags with trash, and had another load of recycling for me to drop off by the time we left.  I was very excited yesterday to have made so much progress.  I was definitely feeling a bit rundown, and today I'm most decidedly sore, but it's encouraging that we're making progress.   
   
Additional good news I discovered this week is that I know who will be organizing the estate sale.  I was worried that my mom had hired some hard-sell-everything-must-go-whether-you-like-it-or-not person to head it up.  I can't even begin to tell you how relieved I am that someone who will respect my mom's wishes (as well as mine) will be orchestrating things.
    
It's a bit nostalgic that my youngest sister Theresa's old bedroom is now a boring white color.  My mom and I painted that room purple, the summer after I returned from my junior year abroad studying in Paris.  I don't miss the way out-of-date flowered wallpaper that was in the dining room, though it did actually match my parents' china.  I will miss homecooked meals gathered around that table.
    
I plan to go through the huge collection of children's books my mom kept from when we were little in addition to the things I have saved in the attic and do some more sorting, recycling, setting aside for the sale, giving away, and relocating to our place.
    
At least my mom has agreed not to sell the kitchen table and chairs, though the chairs could use some TLC, because that set has been in our family since I was still in diapers back in Dallas.
    
My mom already told me that if I see anything in the sale that I'd like to keep to go ahead and take it.  Please pray that Kevin and I choose wisely as we go through our apartment and things at my mom's house.  Some extra prayer cover that my mom will soon sell her house for a good price would also be much appreciated!

Homeless in a Sense

     I burst into tears on Sunday evening when Kevin and I were out to dinner (fortunately, it was just the two of us, and it wasn't crowded at the restaurant).  My mom announced that she's having an estate/yard sale at the beginning of May and that we have two weeks to get our things out of her house because she's putting it on the market.  It's beyond overwhelming to consider all the things we have to sort through and in such a short period of time as it is.
     In addition to sorting through and cleaning out things at our own place, which desperately needs a great deal of work, the task seems just sort of impossible, especially when Kevin can't carry anything or move stuff right now because he's still got to wear a surgical boot and be careful of his foot. Oh yeah, and my allergies are so bad I've been ready remove my eyeballs altogether.  Our place and my mom's definitely has pockets of zones, especially where stuff has been stored for a while, that would be condemned by the allergen police.  Fortunately, it's not pink eye or or any sort of infection, but my eye doctor gave me an anti-inflammatory said not to wear contacts until it clears up.
     This would be a daunting an undertaking even if this weren't the one and only house my immediate family has ever lived in for more than five or so years, but it is.  My mom's had this house for the past fifteen years.  I know that doesn't seem like much to people who have grown up in the same house, or on the other extreme, it seems like a long time if you're used to moving frequently, like our family was.  I know that my mom's wanted to move into a little apartment for a while.  Each time she talked about selling the house, it upset me, but she hadn't done all of the renovations and things, stripped the wallpaper, and such, so the sense of loss and being overwhelmed subsided.
     Now that she's having every contractor known to man come through to give her estimates, she's stripping wallpaper, getting rid of things by the carload, I'm grieving that before long I won't have a family home to go to for sanctuary, solitude, family time, comfort or anything else.  I won't have somewhere I know I'm always welcome to sleep, eat, take or use whatever I need, have a home-cooked meal, grab some children's books my parents read to me when I was a kid, open a living room drawer or a cupboard completely filled with family photo albums and loose pictures.  There won't be a place where our family is all invited and expected to gather on holidays, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I won't have somewhere that has so many memories and stories just hanging in the air, dancing on the windowsills, tucked into the corners.
     Yes, I know things could be much worse, and have been at other times, but right now I'm grieving and overwhelmed by how things are.  I don't need a billion and one reasons why I should be grateful or even ten reminders of how things have been worse and could be again.  I would appreciate some prayers and if you have any compassion, go ahead and send that our way, too.
     Lord, help us rest in You as my family and I deal with yet another poignant reminder that we have no permanent home on this earth.  We are travelers, pilgrims, prayer warriors on a mission, and we are called to place our trust in You alone.  You, Lord, are ALL we have, and You give us ALL we need.  Our future is in Your Hands.  Lord, we pray for Your will.      

Martha Stewart Doesn't Live Here

A Skewed View

     Heck, I don’t think she’d even deign to visit our apartment. The brick building’s nothing special to look at—there’s much more consideration for form and solid fall-out structure than any attempt at an architectural masterpiece. I’m fairly certain there’s not a straight line in the place. Yes, that includes doorframes, windows, cupboards, counters, and the hardwood floors.

     I was horrified when the parents of one of the boys I nannied for came over to bring us a care package after Kevin’s foot surgery in January 2006. The father is a builder and safety inspector, and the mother is all about Martha Stewart when it comes to decorating, colors, and cleanliness. Thankfully, neither of them said anything about our humble, jumbled abode, at least not while still within earshot of us.

When I Slip, You Slip, We Slip

     Before Kevin and I had dining room furniture, we had a couple office chairs on wheels. The first time mom came over for a meal with my sister Theresa, she offered to sit on one of the office chairs. When she finished eating and picked up her feet, she slid all the way across the room. As she slipped away, she began singing Broadway show tunes. I couldn’t help but laugh (mostly because she was sliding across the room, singing show tunes at the dinner table isn't actually all that unusual for my mom, sisters, and me).

     One night years ago, I was having trouble sleeping, so I went into the office to write for a bit on my desktop computer. I was sitting at the desk in a chair with wheels on it and in a still-sleepy-stupor made the mistake of folding my legs in the chair. The moment my feet left the floor, I slid to the center of the room. This surprised me considerably and woke me up completely.

He Loves Me for Me!

     This past week, I’ve been giving into the temptation to compare myself to others, and it’s gotten me discouraged. I was grateful to come across Kate Wicker’s post “A Cure for Comparing: Seeing with God’s Eyes.” I also found it extremely ironic that last night is when I received the e-mail from Tiber River saying my review of Becoming the Woman God Made You to Be had been approved.  I made myself reread the book review before posting on my blog, knowing that I needed/need the reminders of God’s love and His perfect timing, and that He loves me whether or not I’m a good cook, exceptional housekeeper, or wear cute clothing and fun jewelry.

     Lord, help me become the woman You have made and know I can be. Teach me to be content with who I am because I have been made in Your image, have Your unconditional love, and limitless mercy to help me grow in holiness, and fulfill Your purpose and will for my life. Amen.

Atheist to Catholic: Stories of Conversion

Atheist to Catholic – Stories of Conversion is a collection of eleven people’s journeys to God.  Many of them, at some point in their lives, went on a more intellectual than spiritual quest for truth, and each ended up being drawn to the Catholic faith.  The Holy Spirit is clearly at work in the lives of these individuals and was showing up in many ways years before some of them recognized that the longing within them was one that neither science, technology, knowledge, nor pleasure could satisfy.

   
Often the Lord worked through other people to bring these individuals closer to Him.  At times, it was someone’s utter lack of morals or thoughts about life after death that served as a turning point.  For others, it was a close friend or loved one whose example helped inspire their conversion. 

     

I believe many will be very encouraged by these stories.  Most people have loved ones who aren’t believers, or who believe God exists, but not that He cares about them personally.  I know that one of the most difficult faith struggles I’ve ever been through involved praying for the conversion, or rather reversion, of my then boyfriend, now husband, Kevin.  It’s wonderful to read the other side of the transformation process, especially when it is far too easy, at least, it has been for me, to think that I’m going to have a greater impact on someone’s returning or coming to the faith than God will. 

     

Of course, this notion is absurd, self-centered, and proud, but it was one I held for a while before God finally got it through my head, heart, and soul that it is best to submit completely to His Will.  Eventually, I accepted that I needed to let Him work in and through me however He wanted, whenever He wanted, if He wanted to use me in bringing about Kevin’s conversion. 

     

These accounts of coming to the faith show the beauty and power of God to speak directly to His Children.  In addition, it shows a long track record of God using others to be part of the process of turning to the Lord.  Sometimes, it’s been through reading the works of philosophers, saints, or theologians that have been dead for many years that helped ignite the flame of faith in the hearts of non-believers. 

     

I chose this book to review, imagining that the stories would be interesting to read.  I had to laugh when I opened it up and found that one of the eleven people’s stories included is none other than Jennifer Fulwiler, a very popular Catholic blogger, author of Conversion Diary who I’ve been reading and enjoying for a while now.    

     

The only thing that left me wanting was that the stories weren’t as long as they could have been for all of the years covered and experiences each person had.  When it comes to a taste of what brought various people from an array of disparate backgrounds to find themselves at home in the Catholic Church, this quick read is superb!

     

This review was written as part of the Catholic book reviewer program from The Catholic Company. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on Atheist to Catholic - Stories of Conversion. They are also a great source for a Catechism of the Catholic Church or a Catholic Bible.

40th Anniversary Celebration a Super Success!

 

     This past weekend Carl and Cathy celebrated their 40^th wedding anniversary. Originally, they’d scheduled to go on a trip for two, but when they found out their son Luke would be home for only one week before serving in the Army in a special unit in Afghanistan, they postponed their vacation. 

     They were thoroughly surprised when they walked into a nice Italian restaurant, thinking they were meeting their immediate family, plus Kevin and me who are often included as such, for a dinner, and saw their children, grandchildren, siblings, and close friends from near and far who had come for the occasion. 

     Last week, I spent many hours putting together a photo collage that is 20 X 24 inches to present to them at the dinner.  I have several recent pictures of the family, and their children, and siblings provided me with hundreds more that spanned from when Carl and Cathy were young until now. 

     One of the most moving parts of the evening (for me anyway) was when six of their children got up and spoke about the love and unity their parents share with one another and each member of the family. 

     Each of them had something to say about

Please Don't Drink the Holy Water

If you like to laugh, have children, or have been around kids, you’re likely to enjoy Please Don’t Drink the Holy Water: Homeschool Days, Rosary Nights, and Other Near Occasions of Sin by Susie Lloyd. I’ve read most of this book aloud; as I did the first one of hers I bought called Bless Me, Father, for I Have Kids after meeting her a couple summers ago at a Catholic Writers Conference. My husband and I have had as much fun laughing out loud at these true stories about family dynamics as we did when reading her more recent book on the train, at home, in the car, in waiting rooms, and restaurants.
   
Susie’s matter-of-fact observations about marriage, pop culture, family life, faith, chores, kids, pets, and other household phenomenon combined with her fine-tuned sense of humor make for anecdotes as amusing as the following chapter titles suggest: “Chivalry Is Dead: It Collided with My Stroller,” “Fighting the Pack-Rat Gene—One Mound at a Time,” “Family Prayer: An Occasion of Sin”,” “Never Let'Em See You Rest,” and “Family Vacations (and Other Ways to Punish Your Kids).” To read a few excerpts from the book, click here.
    
When it comes to writing style and voice, Susie Lloyd’s a modern-day, Catholic version of Erma Bombeck, only with a greater number of adorable offspring and a bit sassier sarcasm. She’d make a great stand-up comedian if she was allowed to go on longer field trips than homeschooling her children permits. Though her “homeschool bus” isn’t equipped for a full-circuit tour, she does do speaking engagements. After Kevin and I talked with one of her daughters and her in person, I’m sure these live events would prove to be quite entertaining.
    
To read my review of Bless Me Father, For I Have Kids, click here. I highly recommend reading Please Don’t Drink the Holy Water: Homeschool Days, Rosary Nights, and Other Near Occasions of Sin and Bless Me, Father, for I Have Kids.

Going with or without at Christmas

 

This Year Our Christmas Came Without

It came without picking out the live family tree,
decorating homemade sugar cookies,
sending out a single Christmas card.

It came without setting out the family’s nativity,
listening to Christmas carols while
watching the colored lights on the tree.

It came without candles burning while sipping tea,
evenings of jingle bell laughter, singing, spinning and dance,
watching all of our favorite Christmas movies in advance.

It came without stressing over buying a long list of gifts,
going to our usual Christmas shows,
lots of parties to go to given by friends.

There were a number of extenuating circumstances which kept Kevin and me from participating in our usual Advent and Christmas traditions this year.
    
Fortunately, we made it to my mom’s for hors d’oeuvres by the tree and each opening one gift on Christmas Eve.  Mom made the customary assortment of finger foods including: chips, a veggie tray with dip, cocktail wieners, crackers and cheese, shrimp cocktail, and her famous homemade chicken tenders. We got a chance to catch up with my mom, sisters, and brother-in-law while enjoying food and listening to Christmas music around the brightly decorated tree.
    
We returned to Mom’s house in the morning by 8:15 to open presents as a family. Even though we’re all 19 and older now, my sisters insist we get there relatively early to open gifts. It’s kind of cute that even now my one sister still gets so excited about opening presents Christmas morning that she can’t sleep the night before.
    
Kevin and I went to Mass on our own. The gift of the God’s only Son, Mass, the Eucharist, and the love of my husband and family made this Christmas even though there were many things and activities it came without this year.
    
Things didn’t quite turn out the way Mary and Joseph had envisioned leading up to, on, and beyond Christ’s birth, but love prevailed and the Lord’s Will was done. God was, is, and always shall be with us, in us, and working through us. Amen.

Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It

In the beginning of October, I unearthed while sorting and cleaning out stuff a book called Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It by Jerry B. Jenkins that I picked up from the giveaway pile at church when I was on team for a Christ Renews His Parish retreat in August. In the book the author, who is a novelist, biographer, Christian husband and father talks about planting and maintaining hedges. I definitely think many people would get a lot from this book. I learned quite a bit about things from the male perspective regarding the importance of “planting hedges” as he refers to it as a way of protecting your marriage.
    
Though he of course talks about how to plant hedges to stay far away from pornography and prostitution, most of what he writes about are the guidelines and hedges he’s found most helpful and necessary in male/female relationships between friends, co-workers, persons in ministry, etc., when either one person or both are married. He uses real life examples as well as Scriptural evidence for the points he makes and the suggested guidelines he gives. Some scenarios he’s taken from Christian counseling he and his wife have done for other friends and couples.     

I believe coming across this book, then unearthing it and reading it has provided some of God’s more concrete answers to my prayers that Kevin and I would come to have a more intimate relationship with God and with one another. It has also made a big difference in my discernment about whether or not it’s okay to be friends, siblings, spiritual companions with some of our close male friends.
    
Whenever praying about things before, I got that if God is first and Kevin comes before everyone and everything other than God, then all will be well. I’d been praying and asking for more specifics about healthy boundaries in my relationships.
    
I prefer to know the rules and guidelines so I’m at least a little less likely to screw up, upset people, and get hurt myself. This book included some concrete guidelines for male/female relationships outside of marriage along with in-depth explanations of why they’re important.
    
I read the book all the way through, first, then I read it aloud with Kevin and we completed the study guide included. Some of the topics or specifics related to them Kevin and I hadn’t really discussed before, so it proved to be a good jumping off point for discussions. Kevin really appreciated that I took the initiative to read this book and wanted to share it with him, discuss things openly, and come up with some hedges to help protect our marriage.
     
Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It is a wonderful, Scripture-based guide that married couples, ministers of any kind, and those who are single but have friends who are married can certainly benefit from reading.

Home Improvement: God as Interior Decorator

     I like contemplating the verse from John 15:7 (NKJV): “If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.”
     Two or three months ago when I was at Mass at the Pastoral Center, Fr. Nott explained where the verb “abide” comes from and what it implied for that day’s readings. His explanation has helped me delve deeper into this verse. He told us that “abide” was derived from the noun “abode” which we know to be home or dwelling. So in this verse from the Gospel of John, the Lord is giving two conditions in the first part that we must make our home inside of God, and we need to allow His words to dwell within us.

The Fourth of July: My Favorite Independence Day Celebration

My favorite Independence Day I spent with Kevin and his family in Rochester, New York, on Lake Ontario. I was used to having a cook-out with my parents and sisters and usually going somewhere to see a legal fireworks display, but the Fourth of July at the cottage with Kevin’s family was something entirely different.

It was one big fun free-for-all. Kevin’s sisters, his nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles, and cousins by the dozens had a tradition of gathering at the cottage on July 4th to enjoy a fun-filled day of playing, eating, talking, swimming, boating, and of course watching fireworks. Both sides of Kevin’s family were milling in and out of the cottage throughout the day and into the night.  Friends would show up to talk for a bit. Neighbors came by to say hi.

The weather for my first big summer party at the cottage was nice and sunny. The badminton net was set up in the yard. The water wasn’t too choppy for boating. The tide was low enough there was a decent strip of beach available for building sandcastles (and later a bonfire). The grill had been cleaned and was ready to go. We had tons of food. Hamburgers, hot dogs, potato chips, corn on the cob, his dad’s famous fruit salad, huge slices of watermelon, all kinds of drinks as well as plenty of sunscreen and bug spray to share.
  
Kevin and I played some intense games of badminton. Normally, the two of us played the way my family prefers when no one else was around—meaning no net, no boundaries, just keep the birdie in the air at all costs. But I agreed to play with the actual rules, boundaries, a net, and keeping score.
  
After we finished a doubles match, Kevin and I got Popsicles and sat on the porch eating them while his cousins played. One of his cousins started doing sound effects that made the pair of them even more hilarious to watch. Every single time he swung, he would grunt or groan like the Wimbledon players do. He even shouted out the score with a British accent. Good times, good times.
 
I’m not sure if it was before, after, or during my first Independence Day celebration with Kevin’s family that I learned about some of their previous Fourth of July bashes. Kevin told me that one year someone on shore set off a bottle rocket which hit the boat that he and his friends were in. The bonfire they had every year usually got so big it would set the deck and/or the neighbor’s tree on fire. This tradition prompted Kevin’s aspiring firefighter friend to stand at the ready with the garden hose. (Said friend is now a volunteer firefighter in East Rochester. No really, he is.)
  
My first year being a part of these holiday traditions, Kevin and I went out on the boat to watch the fireworks. It was awesome to see the fireworks from out in the water. The reflection of the lights on the water and the increased visibility—usually trees, houses, a stage, or something were in the way of me seeing the entire spectrum of the show—made the night that much more spectacular.
 
The big display of fireworks set off from Charlotte Beach was on our left and the significantly smaller, definitely illegal fireworks show put on by Kevin’s family members was to our right. We held each other close as we let out the necessary oohs and ahhs that, of course, enhance any light show.
  
Fun, food, fireworks, laughter, and romance—what a great mix! Hope your Independence Day includes at least three of those ingredients. Happy Fourth of July!

Sabbath Presence

I’ve been telling so many people about Sabbath Presence I've lost count. I would love to buy several copies to share them with my nearest and dearest. This is the perfect book for anyone who is busy trying to balance family, work, volunteering, personal prayer time…In short, it belongs on everyone’s must-read list. It expands upon the “Be Still and Know” theme of the June 2006 Women’s Cursillo, by inviting us to deeper personal reflection and quiet time to feel God’s presence.
    
“Being still” seems counter-cultural and all but un-American. Kathleen recognizes this, and through a close look at her own life experiences and desire for balance, examines how we can benefit if we “keep holy the Sabbath.”
    
I can't tell you what a profound impact this book has had on my life. I've read more spiritual books than I could keep track of over the years, but I rarely reread any books. I knew how deeply this book resonated with me when I read through it, stopping to do the meditations and journaling exercises at the end of each chapter, then I immediately started to reread it.
    
The second time around I’ve only read one chapter on any given day, so all of the wisdom can sink in and I can take as much time as I need to process through prayer and journaling how the principles apply to my own life.
    
Sabbath Presence is an intimate portrayal of Kathleen’s own struggle to let go of the tendency to fill every waking minute with activities. She shares her own experiences and then leads us to take a look in the mirror and ask ourselves how we can break away from a life of busy-ness in order to rest in God’s presence, Sabbath presence.
    
There are numerous thought-provoking questions in the book, but the main one that links all of the others together: how would it change your life, the Church, the world…if everyone observed the Sabbath by making it a day of rest to focus on God and family?