Hard Habits to Break

I found this article “Breaking Bad Habits: Why It’s So Hard to Change” a while back, and it spoke to me.  I guess part of the reason is because I know I have unhealthy behaviors, and I’m often uncomfortably aware and, at times, even really bothered by other people’s practices, usually because they in some way mirror or bring to the surface weaknesses I have.  This article reminded me of what is helpful and productive in breaking bad habits and establishing good ones in their place.

     
A big part of my problem is that I tend to minimize the effects of what I do and how other people are inadvertently harmed in the process.  Comparing the severity or seriousness of something I could change with someone else’s addiction (whether clinically diagnosed as such or not) isn’t a good way to grow in holiness or compassion.

    
As we are reminded in the Gospel of Luke 18:9-14, when the Pharisee exalts himself before the Lord for his supposed righteousness and the tax collector stays in the back of the sanctuary begging God for forgiveness, acknowledging that he is a lowly sinner, desperately in need of God’s mercy, we see what’s in these men’s hearts.  The minute we take credit for any of the goodness in us instead of thanking God for it, we run into trouble, pride, and veer into self-righteousness. 

We think we are good because we keep the laws and do what we’re supposed to do, but if we are doing everything for show or the admiration, attention, or respect of others, God sees through that.  He knows what’s in our hearts, whether we care to acknowledge He knows us more intimately than we know ourselves or not.    

   
There have been way too many times in my life when I have judged others because of the decisions they make, though I’m often guilty of similar mistakes and sins.  My thoughts go generally something like this: Well, at least I’m not doing what so-and-so is doing.  What they are doing is sooooo much worse and more despicable, destructive, immoral, sinful, disgusting…  I would never stoop so low as that.  Wow!  I can’t believe they can’t see what a mess they’re making of things.  I mean, really, someone should do an intervention or something.

    
Does that line of thinking sound familiar to you?  Over the years, I’ve learned that when I feel really upset by something someone is doing, it’s most often due to the fact that their behavior triggers an area of weakness in me.  In seeing someone else as different, less noble, less fragile… less anything, then we are refusing to look at what inside of us is lacking. 

    
It’s always easier to point fingers and criticize others than it is to take responsibility and ownership for the decisions we make and things we do that reflect that we are just as proud, arrogant, selfish, sinful, and disillusioned as they are.  (I covered this topic in a blog post titled What's the Best Reason I Know to Have a Personal Relationship with God? I Am!) 

    
Simone Weil stated that: “Every sin is an attempt to fly from emptiness.” This quote appears in the Magnificat magazine for Sunday, October 27, 2013, and seems to fit perfectly. We all go from temptation into sin for the same reason: to escape the pain of missing something that we want or need, to fill a void that is real or imagined. 

    
A destructive habit or behavior is always an attempt to make up for some aspect or way in which we feel we are lacking or at the very least to distract us temporarily from the discontent, inadequacy, or “emptiness” we are experiencing.

    
Only in acknowledging the places inside of us that are broken, empty, and in need of healing are we able to empathize and have compassion for others.  If we look down on and judge others who choose to do things to avoid their own emptiness which we find reprehensible, then we are often unaware of their level of pain and suffering, and/or we refuse to concede that it is in any way similar to our own. 

    
People deal with pain and suffering in different ways.  One person’s way of coping might not necessarily seem as detrimental as another person’s, but so many of the things we do to suppress our pain, distract ourselves from it, and/or merely survive through it are harmful to our souls, our relationship with God and others.

      
This reminds me of a very famous quote of Blessed Mother Teresa: “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”  Rarely do we know the situation that someone else is in, the details of their lives, the source or depth of their hurt, and even when we do know a great deal, we don’t know everything.  If we set ourselves up as a judge of someone else, then we are, in essence, saying that we are superior to or somehow better than they are in some area.  Again, in distancing ourselves, we deny the ways that we are lacking, whether it be regarding knowledge of the situation or compassion for another’s weakness. 

    
There was an activity we did at a personal growth seminar many years ago that has stuck in my mind.  The speaker begins describing a situation and talks about what a person does, then participants are asked how they would respond to the individual in those circumstances using body language that ranges from hostile/disapproving to welcoming/friendly.  When told the first part of the scenario, most people indicate they would be upset and react negatively.  Then the speaker continues with a little more backstory, and the more people find out about what this person is going through, the more compassionate people become.  For example, the inattentive, seemingly rude salesclerk is seen through the eyes of compassion once we know that she’s a single mom undergoing chemotherapy but has to come into work though exhausted and feeling sick to put food on the table.

    
The next time we are tempted to judge someone, we could instead pray and ask God to show us what is lacking or feeling empty in us that makes us feel the need to criticize or put down someone else.  It’s a lot more uncomfortable to acknowledge that we’re triggered by other people’s behavior and blame them for what they’re doing than it is to take responsibility for our reaction to other people’s choices and the pain we experience to the Lord for healing.

    
Another solution that has worked many times in addition to prayer is to ask questions and really listen to what the person has to say.  So few people are good at actively listening, and even those who know how to do it don’t necessarily practice it all of the time. 

When all else fails, we can stop and pray what many have come to call "the Jesus prayer:" “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me a sinner.”               

Not Practically Perfect in Any Way

As with any vocation: the single life, marriage, religious life, diaconate, priesthood, parenting, taking care of children, the sick, the elderly, the poor…it can seem monumental when we grasp even part of the responsibility and accountability attached. 

     
When most aware of my sinfulness, many faults and flaws, and the mistakes I’ve made (and often continue to make), I shudder to think that others are looking to me and learning from what I do and say.  

Children are little sponges, soaking up all the words, actions, gestures, and feelings around them.  It’s a huge responsibility to take care of them and really nurture them. 
     
It’s also a monumental task to guide others in the faith, or more accurately, to walk with them on the journey, take care of them, and really nurture them.  It can be a daunting undertaking knowing all along that we have much to learn from them, perhaps more than they’ll learn from us. 
     
I’ve gotten into the most trouble when I have distanced myself from others, feeling like my experiences, outlook on life, or the fact that I haven’t succumbed to some of the temptations that they’ve submitted to makes me somehow more advanced spiritually, closer to God, and/or in a better place to judge or admonish others. 
     
It’s far too easy to write others off as not as advanced or experienced in this or that.  What’s much more challenging (and more Christian) is to discover their strengths and learn from them.  Encouraging them to grow in areas of weakness can often be done best by sharing our own pitfalls and failings as proof that we’re all works-in-progress. 
    
Just like couples aren’t going to have all of their issues worked out before they get married, and parents aren’t going to be perfect role models when their kids are born, there are many things we’re called to do that God prepares us for ahead of time and then gives us the grace to accept the on-the-job training necessary to live out the vocations to which He’s called us. 
     
Sometimes, we have to look back at where we were in order to appreciate more fully where we are now.  In many circumstances, it will be our previous experiences with sorrows, hurts, losses, and dissatisfaction that will allow us to be truly present and compassionate to others who are going through (or feeling) something similar. 
     
We will be the most effective if we move forward cognizant of our failures and weaknesses, especially when we see the inadequacies of others and are tempted to judge them or look down on them.  “There, but for the grace of God, go I” is a great quote to keep in mind.  We don’t know another person’s situation completely, and we don’t know what we would do if we were in his/her place. 
     
Each one of us is broken.  Every single person has things in his/her past that he/she isn’t proud of.  We all are weak, are tempted, sin, and are in need of forgiveness and the Lord’s mercy.  When we distance ourselves from others, then it’s much harder for us to feel their pain, so we aren’t as motivated to try to alleviate it. 
    
It can be quite risky to be open up and be honest with others that we’re not anywhere close to being like Mary Poppins: “practically perfect in every way.” Only by the grace of God and the salvation offered to us by Jesus Christ will we even have a chance at eternal life. 
     
Each and every one of us is called to be holy, to live by the Gospel, to love others in the sacrificial, self-giving, compassionate way that Christ does.  Throughout the Bible, we are shown how those who place their trust in the Lord instead of themselves and other men are the ones who God works through in the most amazing, miraculous ways. 
     
Some of the people in our lives could very well still have the mindset that heavy drinking, doing drugs, watching porn, shirking responsibility, neglecting prayer…isn’t going to hinder them from having a good, meaningful life which leads us to eternal life with God. 
     
It could be said that our ability to influence others is directly proportional to our humility, honesty, and vulnerability with others.  If people think we’re perfect and have even part of our life totally figured out and completely under control, then they’re much less like to discuss things with us than if they sometimes see us rundown, worn out, angry, sad, or disappointed.  Others want to be healed, and some can be by what we are able to offer them if we allow God to move freely in and through us. 
     
If ever we think that we’re the only one who has ever felt a certain way, then we’re wrong.  The more we let down our guard around others, especially with those whom God has shown us we can trust and open up with, the more likely we’ll be to see how similar our struggles really are even though the specific details and outside circumstances might be vastly different. 
     
We all are made to love and be loved.  We all long to be wanted, accepted, affirmed.  We want people who will really listen and be present with us.  We want to know that we’re not alone in what we’re thinking, feeling, struggling with, rejoicing over, questioning, discerning...  We want to make a difference in the world and make things better for others.  We need to feel that we’re part of something much bigger than ourselves and know that our existence has a much greater, longer-lasting, eternally significant purpose than we can see at present.    
     
I’ve often said that I’m too selfish and sinful to make marriage work.  It’s true; the only way I ever would have agreed to this vocation was knowing that’s what God was calling me to and had placed in my heart, so I could be sure that regardless of my insecurities and shortcomings, He would give us what we needed to make it work.  I know that only through the grace of God can I even attempt to share every aspect of my life with my husband and glorify Him through the gift, covenant, and sacrament of our marriage.  I’ll never be perfect in any way, but the closer I draw to God, the closer I will be to the Source of Love and to Kevin. 
     
Could it be said of us that on our own we are too self-centered and sinful to fill the role of being Christ to others?  Is there any one of us that needs Christ’s saving grace and limitless mercy any less than the next person? 
     
If I look at what’s happening around me and my inability to change, fix, or heal it, I get discouraged, frustrated, and angry.  If I look to the Lord, and rest in His ability to take care of everything, then I am inspired, loving, and peaceful. 
     
I realize that so often much of what I write are things I need to be reminded of, take to heart, and do a better job of living out.  We’re all in this together with God’s help.

In Name Only by Ellen Gable Hrkach

In her second novel In Name Only, author/editor Ellen Gable Hrkach creates a masterfully complex late eighteen hundreds setting ripe for drama, suspense, and intrigue.  The characters are richly described and deeply developed.  The complete conversion in thought, word, and deed of two of the main characters is very moving.  I can easily see why In Name Only won the Gold Medal in Religious Fiction in the 2010 Independent Publisher Book Awards and has been in the top ten of its category on Amazon Kindle since February 2012, usually in the top five. 

     
The leading lady, Caroline, finds herself in a number of difficult, quite distressing situations which eventually lead her to a period in her life where things are looking up.  She meets and falls in love with a respectable man and finds hope in the future of their relationship and lives together.  Tragedy strikes but the opportunity for true love, passion, marital bliss, and a more profound hope based on God isn’t lost forever.
     
One thing that really blew me away about this novel was the powerful, extremely real descriptions of the physical, emotional, and spiritual devastation of losing a loved one.  I have never experienced the particular type of loss dealt with in this novel, but it is one that I have often thought would be one of the most difficult to live through and move beyond.  This is one of the few books where this topic is treated on such an intimate level that the reader can tangibly identify the pain and suffering involved, even if she has not experienced the same tragedy. 
    
This novel proves that wild hearts can not only be broken, but also converted, and completely transformed.  The relational, psychological, and spiritual intricacies of the main characters are explored in tremendous depth, which makes this book hard to put down.  The moral struggles and questions that the characters grapple with are fascinating and some of them very unexpected. 
     
One ladies’ man goes from being completely driven by and acting out based on pleasure and pride, to learning to live out of compassion, humility, and love.  Find out what it takes to turn this reckless rake into a true gentleman. 
     
Of course, even post paradigm-shift, the main man still has some haunting memories and some sins from the past that have a major impact on his present, not a devastating, damning one, but one that becomes redemptive in nature.  Through the grace of God, the admission of truth and previous lies, and a selfless love for others, healing happens in realistically miraculous ways.
     
The messiness and confusion suggestive of real life relationships, the true transformation the Lord offers, and God’s ability to bring about good from even the most devastating circumstances are what make this novel such a compelling read.  Temptation, sin, morality, and virtue are all weighed in the balance on a spellbinding level that captures the depths of despair and the heights of hope. 
     
I highly recommend In Name Only.  To read more about this awesome novel or to purchase your own copy, click here.  Oh, and by the way, I heard today (from a very credible source) that a sequel to this novel is in the works.


We get to choose where we spend eternity!

     I don’t like to admit it, but I have been a modern-day Judas.  Through God’s grace, I’ve been shown the error of my ways and repented, asking for help in accepting the Lord’s forgiveness and mercy which I don’t deserve, can’t earn, or do anything to merit. 

     In the past few months, God has made something abundantly clear to me that I happened to miss for many years.  For the longest time, I would spend time in prayer trying to tell God how much I don’t deserve His Mercy or Forgiveness, how I have messed up too often and will likely do it again, so that I should not be granted pardon.  Recently, the Lord helped me see how ridiculous it is for me to spend time telling Him I’m not worthy to be loved, forgiven, or saved, when He knows that better than anyone else.  (Yes, I’m slow enough that this was a major ah-ha moment for me.) 
     In prayer, the Lord made it abundantly clear to me that it isn’t my pride, anger, lust, envy, gluttony, avarice, or sloth that is most abhorrent to Him.  It’s actually when I choose to reject His Mercy and believe that His love is greater than every single one of my sins that I am in the gravest danger of being separated from Him for all of eternity.   
     My view of things has begun to change now that I know the greatest rejection of God is to believe that something I (or someone else) have done, some sin I (or someone else) have committed, some evil thought I (or someone else) has had, is too horrible that it could be forgiven by the Lord of infinite Mercy and the Source of Love.
     Lord, thank You for the beauty, love, and joy in our lives that give us a glimpse of what eternity with You will be like.  Thanks for not giving up on us when we're slow on the uptake.  Draw us closer to You in all ways.  Amen. 
     Where and with whom would you prefer to spend all of eternity?   

Are you a modern-day Judas?

What was the gravest error that Judas Iscariot made? 

Betraying a close friend who welcomed you into his inner circle and treated you like a brother is high on the list of his biggest blunders, especially when it leads to you being brutally tortured and murdered, but it’s not the most serious indiscretion of this well-known traitor. 

     
In the Gospel reading from John 13: 21-33, 36-38 when Jesus informs the Twelve that one of them will betray Him, they all look at Him confused.  Peter nudges John, who was reclined at Jesus’ right hand, to ask who will do this.  In response, Jesus says He will hand the morsel to the person who will betray Him, then He dips the bread and hands the piece to the disciple sitting at His left hand, the spot given to the guest of honor, Judas Iscariot. 

Guess who’s coming to dinner?

I hadn’t realized this before, but Fr. Kauffman explained in his homily on Tuesday of Holy Week that the two people sitting closest to Jesus at the last supper were John and Judas.  This really struck me.  I have a hard enough time being around people who have lied to me, betrayed me, purposely hurt me in some way, so it hit me hard that Jesus kept Judas close to Him and lavished love upon him, knowing that he was about to hand him over to the people who would torture and kill Him. 

     
This boggles my mind!  Because I have been very hurt and harshly betrayed by the people closest to me in the past, I can sometimes be weary even of people who have proven to be sincere and worthy of my trust.  I get frustrated with myself for putting up walls of protection, but I still do it.  I tend to feel really tense and uncomfortable when sharing a meal or in the same room with someone who has hurt me very badly. 
     
Jesus wasn’t like that at all.  Jesus knew well in advance that Simon Peter and Judas Iscariot were going to betray their allegiance to Him, yet He kept them close by.  Jesus didn’t start distancing Himself from the two He knew were going to give in to temptation and turn their backs on Him.  He treated them as beloved brothers before, during, and after their betrayal.

What’s the main difference between Peter and Judas, the two disciples who Jesus indicates will betray Him? 

Peter denies his connection with Christ not once, but three times when the stakes of discipleship are quite high.  When he realizes what has happened, he weeps bitterly, painfully aware of his desperate need of Jesus’ forgiveness and mercy.          
     
Judas hands Jesus over to the soldiers and the police of the chief priests and the Pharisees.  When he acknowledges that he’s made a tremendous mistake, Judas despairs, condemns himself as one whose sin is greater than God’s mercy, and takes his own life. 
     
Not only has Judas betrayed Jesus, he makes the ultimate mistake of believing that his sin, the darkness within him, something he’s done in a moment of weakness has cast him outside the bounds of the Lord’s mercy, love, and salvation.  Judas decides that he cannot, shouldn’t, or wouldn’t be forgiven by Jesus for the evil he committed, so he rejects all faith and hope in exchange for despair and eternal damnation. 
     
Peter royally screwed up, but he had faith enough to believe in Christ’s message of mercy and forgiveness, to trust in His unconditional love and promise of salvation.  He held on to hope and allowed himself to be forgiven.

The Transfiguration Lost in Translation

     I’ll never hear the Gospel account of the Transfiguration Mark 9:2-10 without thinking of two really funny stories shared with us many years ago when Kevin and I went to Mass at St. Charles Borromeo Church in Rochester, New York, the parish where my parents were married.  

     The Readings that day were those we have today about the Transfiguration.  A religious sister in the community gave the homily, and included in it a great anecdote about a couple who came to her to receive ministry and informed her that they used to belong to “The Church of the Disfiguration.”  She found that to be very interesting, and all of us thought it was a hilarious misnomer. 

     It got me thinking, though.  That would be kind of a fitting name for a parish since we, the people, who make up the body of Christ on Earth, are indeed all disfigured to some extent, due to our own sinfulness and turning away from God.  Fortunately our Church isn’t focused on the darkness of sin and suffering (which I tend to be sometimes), but rather is built upon and springing forth from God’s gifts of forgiveness, mercy, and salvation.   

    Later on, the priest celebrating Mass that Sunday shared an even funnier memory before we began the Liturgy of the Eucharist.  When he was growing up, one Lent his Italian grandfather recounted to the gathered family members in broken English what Jesus said to his disciples when they were descending the mountain, “No tell o’ vision ‘til the Son of God come!”  This rather rough summary of Mark 9: “As they were coming down the mountain, he ordered them to tell no one what they had seen, until after the Son of Man had risen from the dead,” led to a new Lenten sacrifice unintentionally imposed on everyone in the priest’s family.   And with that, the priest added, “None of us could watch TV for the rest of Lent.”  The Gospel reference was lost, but Grandpa made quite an impression by declaring that there would be no television until Easter.

     What aspects of your life is God asking you to sacrifice on the altar in order to grow closer to Him?

Marriage 911: How God Saved Our Marriage (and can save yours, too!)

I was intrigued by the description of Marriage 911: How God Saved Our Marriage (and can save yours, too!).  It was written by a couple that’s been married for over twenty years and has seven children.  I wasn’t quite sure what it was these two individuals would consider an emergency marriage situation, but I know their approach to turn everything over to God is the right one. Greg and Julie Alexander were living the secular American dream perfectly.  They both worked hard, had very successful, lucrative jobs, were blessed to have one boy and one girl, a big house, a boat, luxury cars, and nice vacations.  They were in the elite social circles and kept rising in the ranks.  The higher they climbed in their careers the further they drifted from God, each other, and their children.  They both concluded their unhappiness sprang from having married the wrong person, and they decided to get a divorce. 

     
They saw it as a blessing when they found out that they’re new parish priest worked for the Tribunal, the office that handles annulments.  They weren’t at all prepared for the three key questions the priest asked them.  They completely rocked their world.  In seeking the answers to these most pertinent questions, which every married couple needs to know, they discovered what God’s plan is for marriage and opened themselves up to His will for their lives.    
     
Greg and Julie Alexander share both sides of their story with candor, openness, and honesty that will speak to all married couples regardless of the current state of their marriage.  They point to the most essential element to make marriage work: putting God at the center. 
     
I read the Marriage 911 all the way through, and now my husband and I are going through it a second time together and discussing the questions at the end of each chapter in addition to the big three.  We both agree it’s a remarkable story and magnificent evidence of how nothing is impossible with God.
     
This review was written as part of the Catholic book reviewer program from The Catholic Company. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on Marriage 911. They are also a great source for a Catechism of the Catholic Church or a Catholic Bible.

The Red Mass, Custer's Last Stand, & the Diocese of Richmond

     In many ways, Bishop DiLorenzo’s sermon at the Red Mass held at St. Benedict Church Thursday evening, November 10, 2011, was a state of the union address for the Catholic Diocese of Richmond.  As is his tradition, Bishop DiLorenzo began his homily with a story from history.  He talked about how he’d not been satisfied as a young boy when he’d read about the outcome of Custer’s Last Stand.    

     Lieutenant Colonel George Custer and the Seventh Calvary were sent to force the large Indian army back to the reservations.  Bishop DiLorenzo talked about how Custer and the Seventh Calvary were sent into a situation they had no idea was going to overwhelm them just as the people of the Catholic Diocese of Richmond are sent into the culture of death, which can seem as if it will overpower us at times. 

     Catholics are faced with a number of issues that could ostensibly seem as though they are too great to be combatted. 

Sons of Cain

     Sons of Cain is an action-packed page-turner with spiritual and political intrigue that hits eerily close to describing our world’s present culture of death.  There is definitely a sense of darkness and evil versus goodness and light that goes far beyond the usual conflicts addressed in most of the high stakes adventure novels I’ve read over the years (which, by the way, are also too numerous to count).

Lead us not into temptation

     This part of the “Our Father” has confused me at times. It seems sort of silly to ask God to not lead us into temptation, but within the context of the whole prayer, it makes more sense. Of course, the Lord isn’t going to lead us into temptation, but He’s also not going to protect us from ever being tempted. His guidance will always point us to what is holy, loving, kind, gentle, and Truthful, but that doesn’t mean He doesn’t allow us to be tempted.

     My husband and I have begun doing the Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary by St. Louis de Montfort, and the subjects of the past two days have been temptation and sin. This reflection on the “into” of the “Our Father” by blogger Jennifer Fulwiler of Conversion Diary is a perfect exploration of what is addressed in the excerpts from The Imitation of Christ that we are reading this week.
     The passages talk about the importance of rooting out sin from the very beginning, not letting it sink into our conscious and become something that’s almost comfortable for us to think about, say, or do.
     There are some areas of my life in which I know I’m likely to fail, though I don’t keep on guard, nor do I fully trust in God’s grace to help me do the right thing. Of course, I feel bad that these weak patches exist and team up with holes in my faith. It certainly serves to make me more aware of my desperate need for grace and forgiveness, which isn’t such a bad thing.
     On one hand, it’s reminded me that we are going to be tempted, that no amount of progress in the spiritual life will suddenly make us above all temptation.

Sinner by Lino Rulli

If the old adage that you’re only as sick as your secrets is true, then Lino Rulli may actually be pretty healthy.  In Sinner- The Catholic Guy's Funny, Feeble Attempts to Be a Faithful Catholic, he’s straightforward, even about subjects most people would go to great lengths to avoid, such as being: rejected by women, tested for and diagnosed with Prostatitis (the first two aren’t necessarily related, as far as I know), arrested for underage drinking and vandalism, a lack of direction in life, and a multitude of sins.

     
Some passages of the book are laugh out loud funny, and others seem to be more an exercise in pushing the envelope in terms of subject matter shared outside of a confessional or a doctor’s office.  One thing I appreciated about this work is Lino Rulli’s honesty.  He approaches life and wrote this book certain of a few things: 1.) he’s made a lot of mistakes and fallen short in many areas of his life 2.) truth and honesty are best for purposes of humility and humor 3.) the Catholic Church is both the ultimate safe haven and vessel of healing for sinners.     There are certainly some who would be very put-off and offended The Catholic Guy’s Howard Stern sort of approach to the faith, and others who will find his brand of humor hilarious.  A number of sections—regardless of your taste in humor—will prick your conscience, make your jaw drop, and possibly even lead you back to the Sacrament of

Lino Rulli is a sinner.  He’s sorry, and he knows it, writes about it at length, and may very well thereby lure some fallen away Catholics back to the grace and mercy that God provides through the Sacraments.

      
This review was written as part of the Catholic book reviewer program from The Catholic Company. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on Sinner- The Catholic Guy's Funny, Feeble Attempts to Be a Faithful Catholic. They are also a great source for a Catechism of the Catholic Church or a Catholic Bible.

     

Flywheel

     The makers of Fireproof and Facing the Giants produced another great movie full of moral messages, conversion, and healing. 

     My husband and I really enjoyed Fireproof, both the film and the corresponding Love Dare book, which we read and did together for the forty days, as is mentioned in the movie.  Earlier this year we were impressed by the movie Facing the Giants, so when Kevin was making his wish list for his birthday, he made sure the Flywheel DVD was on it. 

     We ended up bringing the movie on vacation with us since there’s no cable TV at the cottage, and yet again, the timing of us watching it was certainly a God-incident.  My husband and I had been praying about and discerning about

Enemies of the Heart

Enemies of the Heart is a good read with interesting, sometimes amusing, personal stories, and practical suggestions for how to overcome these four enemies of the heart which all of us struggle with at times. 

     
How is your heart?  That’s not a question we hear often except when it comes to our physical cardiac health.  Stanley encourages readers to dig a little deeper into our emotions.

     
He provides concrete solutions to overcome the four main “enemies of the heart” which he states are: guilt, anger, greed, and jealousy. Each of these adversaries and the thought pattern that accompanies them is explored.

The author’s explanation of what each enemy means in terms of our thinking is one of the things that really put these principles into perspective for me.  Stanley says that:

Guilt produces the feeling that “I owe you.”  Anger stems from the assumption that you owe me.  Greed is the belief that I owe me.  And jealousy is the one that threw me, but he defines it as thinking that God owes me.  I could see the other explanations, but the idea that God owes me as the belief underneath jealousy wasn’t one I’d really thought about before. 

     
I highly recommend reading Enemies of the Heart and using the discussion questions at the end, which are a perfect fit for a six-week session small group or for individual study and journaling. 

     
I received a copy of Enemies of the Heart for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review. To order your copy, click here.  If you have a blog and would like to receive free books in exchange for book reviews, check out the Blogging for Books program.

Christianity and the Crisis of Cultures

Christianity and the Crisis of Cultures is a very intellectual, academic book in its approach to treating different theological questions as well as in the type of philosophical questions raised by science and technology. Joseph Ratzinger, Pope Benedict XVI first delivered this lecture at the School of Catholic Culture in Santa Croce, in Bassano, Italy, not too long before he was elected pope.

    
Most of the piece focuses on the tendency in Europe to move away from traditional Christian values towards what Pope Benedict XVI describes as a “modern Enlightenment philosophy,” which insists beliefs should be able to be proven through mathematics and science. This decomposition of morality and ethics leads to a violation of the very freedom of the individual it presumes to protect when the rights and preferences of certain people reign while those in poverty, without a voice, the unborn, the elderly, the marginalized…are at the mercy of those who exercise and protect liberty inasmuch as it applies to the convenience of those in power.
       
The work addresses three main topics: “The Crisis of Cultures,” “The Right to Life,” and “What does it mean to believe?” In the first section, we are shown the contradictions present between the Christian culture, now and throughout history, and a contemporary culture which prizes rationalistic philosophies. The second part discusses how this perspective leads to conflict that undermines both individuality and democracy, because “when man’s conscience loses respect for life as something sacred, he inevitably ends by losing his own identity” (pg. 60).
    
Through the discussion of other major world religions, agnosticism as a solution, and the likely implications and morality upheld when the dignity of every human is respected, Pope Benedict XVI provides a treatise for how those who become and teach holiness and a love of truth will be the ones to give hope to a culture that has seemingly become self-centered enough to self-destruct.          Adding God back into the equation, even if His Existence hasn’t been sufficiently proven or denied for some focused on mathematics, sciences, and technology is the best possible scenario our world has for upholding that which is true liberty, freedom, and hope for all.
    
You can purchase this book here.
    
I wrote this review of Christianity and the Crisis of Cultures for the Tiber River Blogger Review program.
    
Tiber River is the first Catholic book review site, started in 2000 to help you make informed decisions about Catholic book purchases.  I receive free product samples as compensation for writing reviews for Tiber River.

Dion The Wanderer Talks Truth

Dion -- The Wanderer Talks Truth is a great read I heard about through a God-incident.  When we took our best friend/brother John to the National Basilica of the Sacred Heart a couple weeks ago, he got some books at the gift shop.  He picked up a copy of this one for his sister, who is really into music and loves Dion.  None of us had realized Dion is Catholic. 

     
I selected Dion -- The Wanderer Talks Truth to review so I could talk about it with John’s sister, who also loves to read, and because it’s sort of off-the-beaten-path from what I usually select.    

     
Dion’s amazing journey to stardom includes the blues, those in his own life and those that inspired his music.  He got caught up for a number of years in the pop music artists’ traditional mélange of: alcohol, drugs, and Rock and Roll.  Throughout his life, Dion had some very strong influences on his music, many people who stood up and out with him from his Bronx neighborhood and the international music scene, and the support of someone I can only assume from his description of her is a remarkable woman, his teenage sweetheart/wife, Susan.  It’s always encouraging to hear of a couple who’s remained together through some tough times and come out stronger on the other side.  It’s nothing short of inspiring to learn of a Rock and Roll legend who’s realized God needs to be at the center of his life, someone who is still very much in love with his wife and proud of his three daughters.   

Two interesting facts I learned from the book that I bet many would get wrong if playing Rock and Roll trivia are: 1. “The Wanderer” is not a song written about Dion himself, and 2. “Runaround Sue” wasn’t written about his lovely wife.  The musicians did have a female from their town in mind when they wrote the song, but they changed the name of the girl to protect the guilty and provide them with a name which was easy to fit into many rhymes.      

    
In a thoroughly fascinating, often humorous way, Dion describes his roundabout adventure back to the Catholic Church.  From the priest in his neighborhood who would shout out questions to him about virtue and morality from across the street to his discovery of the Bible and subsequent interest in St. Augustine, the Holy Spirit kept bringing him closer to the heart and soul of all creation, the God who is Love and Truth.  

     
My husband’s more of the music historian of the two of us, so I was pleasantly surprised to find out what Kevin would probably have already known: a number of Dion’s songs have been extremely popular and are easily identifiable to people from many different generations, including mine. 

     
The only thing I could think of that would have made reading this book even more enjoyable would be if I’d had some of Dion’s greatest hits on-hand to play.  Of course, he mentions a number of his songs and even includes some of the lyrics in the book.  Okay, so maybe there’s one more thing that would enhance the experience: I’d love to meet his wife Susan.  She sounds like a very strong, faithful wife the caliber of which not many Rock and Roll stars have had by their side, ever and/or certainly not since their youth. 

     
I highly recommend this read for music buffs, those who have fallen away from the Church, and anyone who enjoys a good story told with humor and honesty.         

     
This review was written as part of the Catholic book reviewer program from The Catholic Company. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on Dion -- The Wanderer Talks Truth. They are also a great source for a Catechism of the Catholic Church or a Catholic Bible.

Spy Wednesday: What Will Jesus Do?

Those looking to trap Jesus were acting as spies, trying to spot the best time and place to arrest Him. As has been the case in many sting operations, there’s a snitch on the inside. Actually, if we really look at the Gospels, all of the apostles fled when Jesus was arrested. Not one of the men He called to follow Him and be “fishers of men” stuck around when their leader was turned in by one of their own, convicted, and brutally tortured. The miracle of it all is that Christ knew all along they’d betray Him, yet He loved them anyway.

From Ashes to Ashes

This Lent already feels different. For the first time in quite a while, I got to spend most of my Ash Wednesday in prayer. This morning I had my quiet prayer time, then at noon, I joined a few others at the 40 Days for Life vigil in Richmond.
    
When I arrived there were two people there from a Baptist church a ways outside of Richmond who come regularly to pray at the clinic and do sidewalk counseling. The woman told me of a mother they’d been able to speak with the day before who was five weeks pregnant and had been considering having an abortion. After they spoke with her and gave her some information about the development of her child at five weeks, she chose to keep her baby. They presented her with a baby blanket and some information about local pregnancy resources.
    
While there, we read the Gospel account of Christ’s Passion, did some intercessory prayer, then the four Catholics in the group joined in praying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy and the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary. By the time the clock turned to one, a student from VCU and a gentleman from St. Benedict’s, who has long been involved in the vigil, showed up to pray for the next hour.
    
After that I went to the Pastoral Center where my mom works to drop off the sign-up books, statements of peace, “I Pray 40 Days for Life” pins, and a number of T-shirts, bookmarks and a few of the magnetic car ribbons all with the 40 Days for Life: Pray to End Abortion message on them which a dear brother in Christ had purchased for the Kick-off dinner. My mom was excited to get one of the T-shirts and several more sign-ups for the Spring vigil which began today, March 9 and goes through April 17, Palm Sunday, from 7am-7pm each day of the week.
   
 After that, I went to St Michael’s to meet someone who has been involved in 40 Days for Life, Cursillo, and is also an amazing prayer warrior who leads the Rachel’s Vineyard post-healing abortion ministry in the Richmond area. I had asked this remarkable woman to come be the silent intercessor during the Theophostic Prayer Ministry session I had this afternoon. Last week, I’d really been struggling and had hoped to set up a time I could go out to Chesapeake to the New Creation Charismatic Community center for a Theophostic prayer session. As God would have it, a facilitator who’d prayed with me the last time she was here to answer questions during one of our day-long trainings on Theophostic Prayer Ministry, was coming through town and offered to pray with me in the afternoon. This was definitely a God-incident for which I was truly grateful!
    
As usual, the time we spent together went by very quickly. I again left the session feeling a deeper sense of peace and even some joy. I hopped in the car and headed over to St. Benedict’s where Kevin and I had decided we were going to go since it would be a Mass and an Ash Wednesday service. The church was packed! I slipped into the pew with Kevin and our favorite brother in Christ. Since it was a full Mass at St. Benedict’s, much of it was done in Latin, there was plenty of incense used, and a sufficient amount of kneeling. The service was very moving, traditional, and rich in historical and spiritual significance.
    
At its conclusion, Kevin, our brother, and I went to Panera for a soup supper. After which, Kevin and I came home and shared the Lenten reflections for today from various sources. Overall, it’s been a quiet, prayerful day.
    
I’ve felt grateful for such a blessed first day of Lent. Lord, please help all of us be more open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, so that You are free to work in and through us to draw us closer to You, Your Love, Your Son, Truth, Passion, and Redemptive Suffering. Amen.

Build on The Rock

A Sturdy Source

     When we read about, listen to, discern, pray about, then do God’s Will, we are like the wise man building on rock which is solid and can weather the storms of life. The foundation of our thoughts and actions is best based on infinite Truth, unconditional love, peace, compassion, forgiveness, patience, joy, wisdom, and self-control, the gifts of the Holy Spirit, rather than on the selfish, oftentimes fickle, values of this world.
     It’s not enough for us to be able to quote Scripture, study the Word, and perhaps even win at Bible trivia; we must live out the Word. If we learn the Word of God and use it to help us submit more fully to God’s Will, thereby becoming more Christ-like, then we will be constructing interior castles based on solid foundation.

unPLANNED

I’d been looking forward to reading unPLANNED by Abby Johnson since I first heard it was coming out. My husband and I were listening to the webcast Abby Johnson did with Shawn Carney and David Bereit, among others, the night before her miraculous true story hit the shelves.
    
Since my mom, husband, and I have been involved in 40 Days for Life for a few years now, I received some e-mail updates a while back from David Bereit and Shawn Carney about a major conversion that had taken place in a former Planned Parenthood director. It seemed poetic justice that the very abortion clinic where 40 Days for Life began is where Abby Johnson was the director. She began volunteering with Planned Parenthood near the same time in college that Shawn Carney, co-founder and current national leader of 40 Days for Life, helped the Coalition for Life just being formed in Bryan, Texas take off.
   
The book is remarkably well-written and very authentic. When Abby shares her experiences, friendships, beliefs, and passions, she does so openly, about her time volunteering, then working for Planned Parenthood and becoming a star employee and director. She describes just as candidly how she felt and what she thought from the time she began volunteering at the abortion clinic until she got to the point several years later at which she had to resign, no longer willing to participate in what assisting with one ultrasound-guided abortion made her certain the taking of innocent life.     

This is a very compelling account of what Planned Parenthood teaches its employees, clients, and the media to believe wholeheartedly: that they want to make abortion rare and that they make business decisions based on what’s best for women more than on what’s going to be most profitable.
    
It’s very powerful to read about how Abby, who was raised in a Christian home, and whose parents have always been pro-life, was talked into and for a time completely believed that she was working for an organization that was helping women and that the pro-lifers praying on the other side of the fence were the real enemy.
    
Truly God’s grace, forgiveness, love, mercy, and compassion are evident in Abby’s conversion. The Lord placed people in her path very early on who ended up being the ones she ran to when the truth of being responsible for so many deaths completely overwhelmed her. Now they are the ones she works with to share her story, to educate everyone about what really happens inside the fenced-off, locked-down Planned Parenthood buildings.
    
Many aspects of the past eight years of her life clearly show the Lord working to bring Abby Johnson and many others closer to Him. She’s now reaching out in prayer, understanding, and compassion from the other side of the fence, the one that respects and promotes the sanctity of human life.
    
Her story is remarkable, the blessings amazing, and the light shed into utter darkness is striking. Whichever side of the fence you’re on, you will find part of this book speaks to your mind and your heart. Reading about the other side from someone who lived it and believed it for years has been quite an education for me, very eye-opening.
    
I have spoken with, ministered to, and prayed with women who have had abortions, but I hadn’t read anything that gave as much insight and detail about what working at a Planned Parenthood is like. What an incredible miracle has unfolded thanks to the Lord working in the hearts and minds of His children!
    
You can purchase this book here.
    
I wrote this review of unPLANNED for the Tiber River Blogger Review program.  Tiber River is the first Catholic book review site, started in 2000 to help you make informed decisions about Catholic book purchases. I receive free product samples as compensation for writing reviews for Tiber River.