Like a Good Neighbor, My Husband is There

I find it tremendously ironic that I was selected to give the Action/Evangelization talk on the Women’s Cursillo Weekend held April 24-27, 2014.  Not only was I on team with a number of people who have a great deal more experience in performing the corporal works of mercy than I do, but I’m also married to someone who is naturally not just a good neighbor to the many people who live in our building, but who is often a very Christ-like one. 

   
He goes above and beyond the usual, signing for a package if someone has asked you to hold it for them until they get back or letting someone know they’ve left their headlights on.  I can’t tell you how many times

he has helped the people who live in our building. 

He’s done work on their vehicles or assisted them with repairs, given individuals who are handicapped rides to the store, taken care of cats while their owners are out of town, provided bags of groceries when people were struggling to put food on the table, helped people network who were looking for a new job, let someone borrow his bicycle for several months so they wouldn’t have to buy one to train for a competition, changed light bulbs and did various other household chores too challenging for those who are elderly and/or have disabilities, reported suspicious activity to the police, listened while people tell them about their day or about their whole life story, provided encouragement and support to those who have been struggling in mind, body, or spirit…

He’s the one who knows everyone’s name and asks them how things are going then actually listens to the response.  We saw one of our neighbors in a wheelchair, and Kevin found out after a few different attempts (because my husband doesn’t speak Spanish) what had happened to him. 

The husband and father of two girls fell 20 feet off of a ladder, breaking both of his ankles.  Kevin noticed that the front tire of their car had been slashed.  It was completely flat and would need to be replaced, so he offered to go and get a new tire and put it on for them.  They agreed to this.  When he went to return the car keys, they wanted to pay him, but he refused any compensation for the new tire or the labor.  We agreed it was a very practical way that we could offer them assistance during a difficult time.

    
Kevin is preparing to give the Laity talk on the upcoming Men’s Cursillo Weekend being held July 24-27, 2014, at Sacred Heart, New Bohemia.  He’s got a number of wonderful descriptions of the roles of laypeople in the Church.  What amuses me is that he hasn’t yet included any of the number of day-to-day things that come naturally to him and count as ways to minister to others.  Isn’t that often the way, though?  The people who are best at doing something are the ones who question their aptitude, downplay their abilities, or doubt the validity of what they have to offer. 

When I see so much everywhere I look that I feel I could or should be doing, it’s refreshing to look at my husband.  He reminds me just by being who he is and where he is he’s glorifying the Lord.      

Crash the Chatterbox: Hearing God's Voice Above All Others

I love how humble, willing to be vulnerable, candid, humorous, and honest Pastor Steven Furtick is in sharing examples from his own day-to-day struggles with the chatterbox, the internal monologue that goes on in our minds that can keep us from living in the fullness of God’s love and freedom.  The lies we believe keep us from hearing, heeding, and accepting the Truth about God, how He sees us and others.  Identifying the lies is an essential step in order to “Crash the Chatterbox.”  Furtick explains that the lies we believe often fall under one of these four categories: insecurity, fear, condemnation, and discouragement.

    
Furtick offers Biblical truths about the children of God as proof that many of the thoughts we have that fall under one of the four categories mentioned above are contrary to who God says we are and how Our Creator sees us.  The importance of daily prayer and ongoing Scripture study are emphasized as keys to combating lies.

    
If you voiced aloud to someone else some of the exact same things that go through your mind about yourself, would they be horrified, offended, or hurt?  Probably.  The thing is the lies we believe not only affect us and our openness to God, but they also affect those around us in big and small ways.

    
Furtick doesn’t suggest that any negative emotion we have is a lie.  Sorrow, guilt, and regret are all very real, truth-based, and can be indicators of sinfulness for which we need to repent and accept forgiveness.

    
It’s rather freeing to find out that some things are intended to be part of our daily struggle to grow closer to the Lord and become more Christ-like.  There’s not some point at which we’ll have overcome all fears, temptations, lies, roadblocks and can coast along without any more obstacles internally or externally—at least not this side of Heaven.

    
I can identify best with people who are down in the trenches still fighting spiritual battles, though able to see and share some of the insights and grace God has given them to keep fighting.  I prefer to read about and hear from a fellow prayer warrior who may be a bit frazzled, but who continues on confident in Christ. 

    
Through humor, personal stories, and pound the chatterbox nuggets, Furtick reminds us that the negative influences, thoughts, and feelings in our lives aren’t going to disappear.  We’re in this battle against darkness and evil, but Christ has already conquered everything we’re fighting against.  We’re given the mercy, grace, forgiveness…all of the tools we need to win every fight we have with fear, discouragement, insecurity, and condemnation.  We just have to admit that we need these blessings and stock up on them through study and prayer. 

    
When a thought goes through my mind, it can be helpful to ask myself whose line is this, anyway?  If it’s of God, I may be called out and asked to change in some way, but, ultimately, I will be lifted up and affirmed as a beloved child of the Lord.  If the line of thinking is governed by fear, insecurity, condemnation, and discouragement without an ounce of hope or freedom in sight, then it’s time to suit up.  When all else fails, go get your armor!

    
I highly recommend Crash the Chatterbox: Hearing God’s Voice above All Others by Steven Furtick.  It’s one of the few books that I have read twice in a row, because there are so many powerful truths and reminders about how to recognize and combat the lies Satan tries to feed us.  I received a free copy of this book from Blogging for Books program in exchange for an honest review.  For more information about the book, or to order your own copy, click here.

    
There are some great links, interviews with some of the experts that are quoted in the book available on the www.crashthechatterbox.com website.  It’s another really good resource that will help you get the most from this book.

How Many Times Do I Have to Tell You…?!

     I have often heard and/or started this question with exasperation, anger, frustration, and aggravation.  Have you ever heard someone say or said to someone else: how many times do I have to tell you…?  My guess is that you have and that at some point you have even said these words.  

     Perhaps the opening question was paired with one of the following: tie your shoes, don’t pick your nose, there are no monsters living under your bed, do your homework, don’t bite your nails, wash your hands with soap and water for 20 seconds every time you use the bathroom and before you eat, of course that’s not a poisoned apple, rinse your dirty dishes before you put them in the sink or the dishwasher, clean clothes belong inside your dresser not on top of it, wipe your feet on the mat before you come inside, the big bad wolf is not knocking at our door, use your silverware, wipe your mouth off with your napkin not your sleeve, stop shouting, speak up, share your toys, pick up your books, stop hitting, kicking, whining, settle down, don’t run, calm down, buck up, leave your scab alone, pick up the mess you made, your milk is to drink not pour on the floor, turn out the lights when you’re not using them, say grace before meals,

stop blowing bubbles in your chocolate milk, even princesses have to follow rules, remember to say please and thank you, chew with your mouth closed, don’t put your shoes on the furniture, eat your vegetables or you won’t get dessert, don’t laugh when someone gets hurt…

     We don’t like it when people don’t listen to us.  We want to be heard, have our thoughts and concerns noted, and our feelings accepted as valid.  When we have to repeat things over and over again, we get frustrated, whether young or old. 

 

     Sometimes I’m so busy critiquing my own thoughts and actions as well as correcting and guiding those of the young people left in my care (and truth be told, also advising and making suggestions to my husband) that I’m not as good about listening.  I know.  It's shocking, right?

     I make the same mistake in my prayer life all the time.  I go to God with all of these people, concerns, situations, and requests, but I don’t spend nearly as much time being still and listening.  It’s so flipping difficult sometimes to allow myself time to be in the Presence of the Lord rather than bouncing from one item on my to-do list to another.

     How many times does God have to tell us to slow down, make time for Him, pray, listen more, worry less, accept His unconditional love though we don’t deserve it and could do nothing to earn it, receive His limitless mercy, embrace His forgiveness and compassion, know that He will never leave us or forsake us, be not afraid, let Him be our strength, He will turn our tears into dancing, our night into day, our struggles into blessings…?  

     This is one of my all-time favorite songs, definitely a perfect one for my life, by the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir.  It's called "So You Would Know," but you'll recognize a number of questions asked in a totally different way.

     

Children Are Always Recording Audio and Video (My Nanny Diary)

Any time children are partially awake and conscious, you can be fairly certain they are recording everything you say and do, even if they seem to be totally occupied with whatever fun, possibly noisy toy currently in hand. 

If you have an infant or are around toddlers or any young children, it’s a good time to reprogram your vocab to G-rated and fine-tune your shut-up filter, because everything you say (and do) can and likely will be repeated generally at the most inopportune time.  Any words shouted or said with any sort of extra emotion will be the most likely candidates for new vocabulary acquisition. 

That’s why so many kids learn “NO!” very early on, because they hear it all the time.  “Up” and “down” are two other ones children tend to learn very early.  Seinfeld does a great bit where he talks about this phenomenon.    

Many Occasions for Humility

There’s no way around it, really; whatever you say can and will be used against you.  It provides many occasions for humility (in case being peed, pooped, spit-up, thrown-up, and sneezed on hasn’t produced a sufficient amount of that in your life, yet.)

   
 Having spent a lot of time working with and caring for children of a variety of ages, I’ve gotten pretty darn good about keeping exclamations—even in the midst of an emergency or crisis—G-rated around little people.  I figure I’ve already had enough explaining to do when I have a little one shouting things like: “Where my ho’?” on the playground.  I did actually have this happen to me and quickly rephrased the question for the little tike so as not to be shunned from the church playground forever: “You mean: Where’s my gardening tool?” 

He had been helping his parents working in the garden recently, and there was a plastic hoe and other gardening tools in the sandbox in that playground area, but that’s certainly not what it must have sounded like to the other mommies and nannies at the playground that day. 

   
I’m all for encouraging kids to learn the proper names for things, but only when it doesn’t get us kicked out of the sandbox.  I’m sure it didn’t help a whole lot that when a car would drive by with really loud rap music playing that the same little one would stop whatever he was doing on the playground and start his bounce dancing.       

      
Sometimes it’s hard not to laugh when kids come out with something you know they must have heard at home that couldn’t possibly have been intended to be repeated anywhere. ever.  I’ll admit I laughed hysterically when I was reading a book by Anne Lamott in which she talks about how she came to the realization that she and her son had gotten in the habit of using some words that were inappropriate.  I can’t in good conscience quote exactly what either of them said (as it’s not G-rated), but if you’d like to read it directly (and I think you’ll want to), you can find that particular excerpt of Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life.

     Minor Misunderstandings

They will happen all of the time anyway, because kids fill in the words that they think you said or make up their own when recounting a story.  Case in point, just this morning we had the following exchange:  

   
“Dad is a she,” Sunshine said.

    
“Your dad is a he.  Your mom is a she,” I replied.

   
“My mom is not a sheep!” she said emphatically with more than a little attitude working.

   
I explained that I did not call her mom a sheep, but I’m not sure if that really sank in, so I informed her mother of the conversation because I knew she’d be amused and also in case later during dinner or bedtime she recounted to her mom what she thought I’d said.       

    
We had quite a few mishaps when my youngest sister, who is 11 years younger than I am, would repeat and/or mess up something one of us had said and announce it to family, friends, guests, etc. at the most awkward times.  Some of the mix-ups were just plain hilarious. 

Once my cousin had been telling us a story about how she'd been visiting UC Berkeley and had seen two women walking around holding hands wearing nothing but tie-dyed socks.  She added that she didn't think the two of them had ever seen a razor.  Most of this went right over my youngest sister's head.  Later when my sister was retelling the story to someone, I heard her say that “the two women looked liked they'd never seen a raisin.”  Then she added, "I don't know how she could tell that, though."

    

Running commentary

As those who know me are already aware, I absolutely love spending time with little ones.  It isn’t long before I go into “running commentary” mode where, for purposes of learning and language acquisition, I describe everything around us and all the things we’re doing as we go.

    
I did this so often on walks with “my little guys” that they got to the point when they’d know what was coming next and get excited and tell me before I had a chance to say a word: fire station, library, church with bells that ring and that at noon and 6pm play two songs…  

   
I’m glad to know I haven’t lost this valuable time-with-toddlers instinct from my earlier days as a nanny.  Apparently my “running commentary” switch still works.  That being said I don’t need it or use it quite as much when there’s also a preschooler in the house, because her commentary is pretty much always running.  And by that I mean, pretty much whenever she’s awake her mouth is running, which can be as amusing and entertaining as it can be exhausting and annoying when it goes on for hours.  

In short, it’s easier to tone it down a tad when little ones are in earshot, so you are less likely to find yourself explaining to a concerned adult how it is that your child knows certain words, phrases, or exclamations. 

     

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 99)

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Fun with Watercolors I’ve had fun painting with watercolors, one of Vivi’s favorite past-times as well.  Occasionally, I have an opportunity to paint with her.  Over the weekend, I felt like painting with watercolors.  Once the little pictures dried, I enhanced them with details drawn with colored pencils.    

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Uploaded Wednesday Kevin brought pizza over to Carl and Jess’s for dinner, and we hung out with Jess and the girls while Carl was at an interest meeting for volunteers.  I finally remembered that I have about 600 some photos on my computer of the girls that I’ve been meeting to put on a flash drive or something for them.  I uploaded the photos and videos onto a flash drive, so their parents can enjoy them and pass them along to other members of the girls’ fan club.   

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Overheard It always makes me smile and sometimes laugh right out loud when I hear Vivi singing a song or quoting a phrase from a favorite book, especially when it’s a little off from what the actual lyrics are.  The quotes from books, of course her faves by Dr. Seuss, are completely accurate. 

     Thursday, as she ran around in a little circle in the living room she randomly came up with the following lyrics to the tune of Jingle Bells: “Thank you wish, thank you wish, thank you, Santa Claus.”  I have no idea what made her think of Santa or jingle bells, but the fact that thank you is in the lyrics makes me very happy.  I’m also excited that she remembers to say: “May I please…”  Also this week, she's been singing: Where is pumpkin? Where is pumpkin? to tune of  “Where Is Thumpkin?”

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Conversation for the Soul My friend Michele just found out that she'll be entering the Sisters by the Sea cloistered community in Carmel, California, August 6, 2013. She came over Tuesday afternoon so we could catch up.  Five hours later, we'd covered quite a bit.  We both enjoyed sharing our God-incidents and experiences from our recent trips—neither of which went the way we envisioned.  As usual, Michele had some amusing stories to share about her retreat, which didn’t end up being much of a retreat.  It was uplifting to hear the many instances in which God orchestrated things in ways Michele couldn’t have planned or even thought to ask for that made for quite memorable blessings.  One example, she was asked to perform her play "Teresita" for the cloistered sisters in the community where she staying at a hermitage in Pennsylvania for her "retreat," and when she finished, they sang to her the poem “In the Hands of God” on which her piece was largely inspired.  They’d set the poem to music for a special occasion the week before, a novice making her final vows.    

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Now what?! One of my favorite quotes from our soul-spilling epic conversation with my beloved sister in Christ Michele came in the form of a clarification on the role of prayer and its affect on family relations: "I don't think that if I pray enough my family's not gonna act stupid anymore.”  Nothing’s impossible with God, but it’s highly probable that members of the same family are going to rile each other up (sometimes accidentally), have differences in opinion, and varying views on pretty much everything.

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Heaven-Sent by God "We seldom realize fully that we are sent to fulfill God-given tasks. We act as if we have to choose how, where, and with whom to live. We act as if we were simply plopped down in creation and have to decide how to entertain ourselves until we die. But we were sent into the world by God, just as Jesus was. Once we start living our lives with that conviction, we will soon know what we were sent to do." -Henri Nouwen  I receive daily reflections from the Henri Nouwen Society via e-mail.  You can check them out and do the same here.

     

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Kermit on Trial No, I’m not suggesting that Jim Henson’s green, lovable friend is on trial (that would actually get widespread news coverage and genuine concern about the injustices in life).  I’m talking about the Kermit who no one wants to talk about because it might look bad for the abortion industry to discuss how some abortionists have been killing babies after delivering them from the womb.  If you have any question about whether or not our media is biased, check out the media block-out of this trial.

                  

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 96)

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Divine Mercy Clearly Christ's Passion, death, and Resurrection which we contemplate during Lent and Easter are the greatest sources of evidence that the Lord is merciful to us.  The first Sunday after Easter has been named and celebrated as Divine Mercy Sunday.  To read more about what that means, how it is observed, and to learn one of the most powerful prayers around, The Chaplet of Divine Mercy, check out this website and/or this personal reflection on the devotion and associated prayers.

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Quality Time I had a nice treat around lunchtime on Tuesday when I went over to drop off a burrito bowl from Chipotle for my sister, I got to catch up with her a bit while holding my twelve lbs. one month old nephew, Ezra, who snuggled up in my arms and slept soundly for most of the time. Thanks for reminders of the many miracles in our lives, Lord!

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All Fired Up A dear friend of mine I’ve known since I was 11 has recently gotten a part-time job at a cool paint your own pottery place.  Though I painted all three of these pieces at the Carytown location with the same name, I’m looking forward to seeing the Short Pump one where she works and adding another bowl to our set of original water-themed dishware. They are all having to do with water and the lake since that's where Kevin and I first met, at his family's cottage on Lake Ontario when I was only sixteen.

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Young Sponges Soak Up Everything I’m reminded about a million times a day how infants and toddlers are such sponges.  Vivi will start singing part of a song or say a line from a book then ask me to read it, or she’ll suggest we do something that we used to do before her sisters were born (last May), or I’ll see one of the twins mimic their big sister.  Kids are listening to the songs you play, the words you say, the things you sing, everything they watch on TV, DVD, computer, XBOX, and it does affect them and stick with them much longer than you think.      

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Back to the Throne Room Knowing that young children are listening, watching, and imitating what I do makes me feel a huge sense of responsibility, especially since I can remember and am still affected by what people close to me said and did even before I was 5 years old.  I am that much more certain that I need to be grounded in prayer and fully relying on God when such precious, impressionable people are in my care.  I feel that way about everyone, but I have always been especially sensitive to how powerfully we can influence children’s self-esteem, interior monologue (which at a young age still is an external monologue), and the habits they form…

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The Theology of Marriage It’s been interesting to read what different people have to say about: what the definition of marriage is, what it has meant, and should mean in the future.  This is a reflection I wrote on marriage and the one book in addition to the Bible that explained most beautifully God’s love for us and His intentions for us.  This is the best recent article I’ve read (thus far) explaining the Roman Catholic teaching on marriage from the beginning.          

     

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The Chronicles of Narnia I have a confession to make.  Not only was it only within the past 6 months that I finally read all of The Lord of the Rings for the first time in my life, but also I am only now reading The Chronicles of Narnia.  I feel a much greater appreciation for classic Catholic literature now that I've taken greater steps to round out my very secular studies as an English (with a concentration in creative writing) and French major at a liberal arts university.  I’m also very excited to be working on something within the genre of Catholic fiction that will hopefully entertain and inspire many.

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

Wrapped Up: God's Ten Gifts for Women

What is a woman worth?  It depends on whom you ask, when, where, and how what answer you will get to that question.  There are so many people and things vying for women’s attention, evaluating their worth, and holding up what society says should be their ideal, it’s easy to get lost, hurt, and confused.  What’s difficult is seeking God’s view of who you are, actually accepting it, and then putting that above anyone else’s, including your own, your family members, your friends…  At least that’s what I’ve found to be among the greatest challenges of being a real W-O-M-A-N of faith.  

     
Wrapped Up: God’s Ten Gifts for Women describes the blessings that women are and possess because we are created in the image and likeness of God; we’re daughters of the King.  Two faith-filled women approach this topic to unwrap the innate beauty and uniqueness of feminine genius as it’s revealed to us through Scripture and most often profaned by the mainstream media. 

     
Media expert Teresa Tomeo examines her time in the spotlight versus her new life in the light of Christ.  She illustrates how fame and fortune made her what this world considers successful but left her with a sense of spiritual desolation.  How can we pick out the truth from the lies?  First, we need to be mindful of what and to whom we’re listening.  “Giving serious thought to the messages that bombard us is essential if we are going to really see ourselves as unique gifts to the world created by God” (pg. 121).  With thirty years of broadcasting under her belt, some hard knocks, and quick breaks, Teresa uses her experience to take a closer look at the most prominent lies we’re fed by modern culture.   

     
Co-author Cheryl Dickow supplies Scriptural support and reflections that underline the value of women in the Old and New Testaments as well as in the present day.  Cheryl’s discussion of women in the Bible who were open to God working in and through them and fascinating insights into Jewish traditions and practices that are key to understanding the deeper meaning and significance of these stories give this true view of women the solid faith foundation it needs.     

     
These fundamental virtues of women through God’s eyes are combined with some of Teresa’s and Cheryl’s own personal experiences to bridge the gap between Bible Truths and their modern-day implications.    

     
“Women, with our unique role as nurturers, have something the world needs desperately: motherhood.  Some of us are spiritual moms.  Some of us have been blessed with the gift of physical motherhood.  Some of us are both spiritual and physical moms.” (pg. ix of Introduction) Teresa Tomeo

     
This book provides an in-depth look at the sanctity of women and how that holiness leads to a responsibility to share our God-given abilities, talents, and wisdom with others. 

     
“I knew that being wrapped up in God’s love happens in many ways, one of which is through words and love and prayers that have been part of this book—written just for you. (pg. ix of Introduction)” Cheryl Dickow

     
Check out this video interview with the authors. 

     
This review was written as part of the Catholic book reviewer program from The Catholic Company. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on Wrapped Up - God's Ten Giftsfor Women. The Catholic Company is a great resource for tools to help you participate in the Year of Faith, including Year of Faith bible studies and exclusive Year of Faith personalized gifts. The Catholic Company also has all your Advent needs in stock, such as Advent calendars and Advent wreaths.



“What do You want of me?” Part IV of IV

     There’s a danger in relying blindly on the thoughts, feelings, observations, and opinions of others.  Our perceptions are just that, how we see things.  In order to know the Truth about ourselves, another person, a situation…we must go to the only always reliable source: God.  The rest of us are liable to be confused by our own lie-based thinking and beliefs, tainted by our own experiences, our sinfulness, and skewed by our own perceptions.  Sometimes we’ll see part of what’s really there, and other times we’ll miss most of it. 

     I wrote a prayer a while back keeping all of this in mind, and I’ve shared it with others and prayed it often myself as a reminder of where my most authentic and brutally honest performance evaluation comes from. 

     “Lord, so often we seek the approval of our family, our friends, our colleagues, and society and are easily swayed by their opinions.  Please help us have courage enough to turn to You when we need guidance, and put Your view of us, Your wishes for our future, and Your thoughts about our words and actions, above those of other people around us.

     You alone know our hearts completely.  You alone know what is ultimately best for us.  Inspire us to spend more time listening to You so it is easier for us to separate Your will from our own and those of the people closest to us.  Protect us from despair and disillusionment by arming us with the truth, the strength to do Your will, and the wisdom to submit everything we are and have to You.  Amen.”                 Prayer written by Trisha Niermeyer Potter March 2008

Note: This post is the last of four in a series.  Click these links to read the first three posts: "What do You want of me?" Part I, Part II, Part III.

Beloved Daughter Rejoice!

What would happen if you believed with every fiber of your being that you are, indeed, God’s Beloved Child? My prediction is that there would be a great deal of rejoicing from within and without. Well, guess what?! The Truth is you are God’s Beloved Child, so you have every reason to sing, dance, clap your hands, shout praises to the Lord!

     
I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely someone who wants and needs frequent reminders that I am loved, cherished, seen as precious and valuable. Fortunately, the Lord wants nothing more than to shower us with an abundance of blessings to let us know how deeply loved we are by Him.
     
God’s joy is in loving us unconditionally, passionately, and overwhelmingly. His love for us is the source of our strength.  His willingness to give His own Son to show us how to live, suffer, die, and rise again is the ultimate proof that we are God’s Beloved Children. He doesn’t withhold any goodness, fruit of the spirit or blessing to any who come to His table.
     
That is not to say that our lives will be without suffering or devoid of pain, but it means that  throughout even the most daunting trial or haunting tragedy, the Lord will remain with us.  He won’t turn away or abandon us.  We can persevere in hardships knowing that, united to Christ’s Passion and death on the Cross, our suffering can be used for the salvation of souls in time and eternity. 
     
The physical, emotional, and spiritual crosses we bear in this life will not be in vain.  Though sorrow and strife may plague us in this life, threatening to rob of us of all of our hope and joy, we know that there is more than our earthly existence to be concerned with; we have been offered an eternity of unconditional love and pure unbridled rejoicing with the Lord. 
     
Is there anything keeping you from rejoicing that you are a beloved child of God?  If yes, what is it?  Would you be willing to offer it up to the Lord and listen for His Truth? 

“Sing aloud, O daughter of Zion; shout O Israel!

Rejoice and exult with all your heart,
O daughter of Jerusalem!
The Lord has taken away the judgments against you,
He has cast out your enemies.
The King of Israel, the Lord, is in your midst;
you shall fear evil no more.
On that day it shall be said to Jerusalem:
“Do not fear, O Zion;
let not your hands grow weak.
The Lord your God is in your midst,
a warrior who gives victory;
He will rejoice over you with gladness
He will renew you in his love;
He will exult over you with loud singing
as on a day of festival.”
                                                Zephaniah 3:14-18

Note: This reflection, written in honor of the participants of the Women's Cursillo Weekend taking place at Shalom House from May 31-June 2, 2012, first appeared in the May 2012 Edition of The Rooster Review.

Holiness for Everyone: The Practical Spirituality of St.Josemaría Escrivá

What is your purpose in life?  Just in case you’ve forgotten, it’s to become a saint.  Through the teachings of St. Josemaría Escrivá, founder of Opus Dei, we are reminded why, how, and for what greater mission we are called to holiness.  This Spanish saint lived at a time when many people compartmentalized religion and daily life.  Also, it was a period when many believed that it was solely the responsibility and possibility of those called to religious life to lead holy lives that were devoted to serving the Lord. 
     
St. Josemaría asserts that each and every layperson, not just those called to religious vocations, is called, given the grace, and the opportunity to be sanctified.  Any and every part of our days, no matter how mundane, can be offered to the Lord.  When chores such as changing diapers, doing the laundry, washing dishes, preparing meals, weeding the garden, cleaning the house, are done with the mindset that we are serving and loving God by doing these necessary tasks, and doing them well, these become acts of prayer and sacrifice that help bring about our sanctification.
     
I have read some of the works by St. Josemaría Escrivá, but there are quite a few, and I could only seem to dissolve and absorb so many golden nuggets of his wisdom at a time.  I enjoyed this book, because author Eric Sammons weaves in some of the most powerful and prominent observations and revelations the Spanish saint had, particularly in regards to God’s plan for our sanctification. 
     
There have certainly been a number of times in my life when I’ve fallen into the thinking that the little things of daily life don’t matter all that much in the grand scheme of things.  St. Josemaría helps remind us that in the seemingly small, unseen ways we live our lives each day, especially when trying to be a model of Christ to those around us, we can become holy and lead others closer to the Lord.
       
At the end of each chapter, there are suggestions for further reading, meditation questions, prayer petitions, and contemplation questions.  The suggested supplementary reading is available for free through the following website Escriva Works. 
     
Whether you’re a student,  a high-powered executive living a fast-paced life, single, married, called to a religious vocation, or you’re working and raising a family, Holiness for Everyone is a magnificent reminder that we are each here to glorify the Lord, be sanctified through our unique position and circle of influence, and become like Christ for others. 
     
To find out more about Holiness for Everyone or to order your own copy, click here.

Is Your Faith Fireproof?

     My husband and I can’t help but smile and laugh a little when we hear the reading from the book of Daniel about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.  We do know that this account of forced idol worship and cruel torture has an awesome, miraculous ending, but our amusement has a lot more to do with our familiarity with the Veggie Tales version still fresh in our minds.       

     The Rack, Shack, and Benny: A Lesson in Handling Peer Pressure DVD is a hilarious, very kid-friendly retelling of this story which is hard to forget.  Truth be told, it’s also amusing to think of the person doing the reading suddenly start referring to these three fireproof men of faith as Rack, Shack, and Benny. 
     It’s powerful to consider these types of questions and scenarios regarding peer pressure, submitting to popular culture, and the effects of standing up for what we believe in.  The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) has spoken out about the violations of religious freedom that are included in the Health and Human Services (HHS) Mandate. 
    Am I going to believe whatever Obama and his administration tell me? Am I going to check out one news source only?  Am I going to pray at all about this and ask the Lord what He wants and knows is best for us?
     Over the years, I have been faced with a number of tough decisions and have walked with friends who have asked for advice as they’ve struggled with challenging choices.  The best advice I’ve received and can give is to take it to the Lord in prayer.  If you genuinely want to know the truth about something, then humbly come before the Lord and ask for wisdom and understanding. 
     I’ve found this request for spiritual enlightenment works best when I don’t throw in any provisos or quid pro quos about what the answers ought to be or what they should not include (due to my own particular likes and dislikes).  When I’ve been willing to lay my burden on the altar, and without putting any limitations, restrictions, or rules on the request ask what He wants me to do, then He’s usually made it clear.  Sometimes the answers haven’t come immediately as I’d hoped, but they will be received when our hands, hearts, and minds are opened to whatever God wants to share with us.    
     I have been willing to do some very difficult things in order to stand up for what I believe in and have had it made clear to me by the Lord are His will for my life.  That’s not to say I haven’t freaked out when the flames around me are getting higher and higher.  I’ve flipped out plenty of times, but fortunately that’s not been grounds for revoking the free gift of salvation extended to each one of us.    

     Will you be thrown into the fiery furnace for standing by and for God?  Maybe.  Is that a better prospect than being cast into unimaginable heat for all of eternity?  Absolutely!

Go to Joseph! Jesus and Mary did.

 I can vividly remember praying while I was studying abroad in France that the Lord would make me more like the Blessed Mother and make Kevin more like St. Joseph.  I believe it’s when I was in France that I was first inspired to pray this particular intention for both of us.  In previous years, I had prayed that I would become more patient, more loving, more submissive to the Lord’s Will in all areas of my life, like Our Mother Mary.  It seemed to be fitting that I would ask the Lord to make Kevin a God-fearing man who would be a loving husband and a good father when we had been talking of marriage for a few years by then. 

     
A couple years ago I wrote a review on an inspiring book called Go to Joseph which you can read more about here.  The book really opened me up to an aspect of Christ’s life I hadn’t really spent a lot of time meditating on or considering before.  I highly recommend reading this retreat in a book on St Joseph. 
     
What’s really amazing is that the Lord has granted those fervent prayers in many ways, some of them as recently as over this past year.
     
Here are two magnificent posts on St. Joseph you won’t regret checking out:

Ite ad Joseph by Gerard M. Nadal and St. Joseph Husband of Virgin Mary by Jean M. Heimann

Reflection questions that might be prudent to ponder: Who are your role models?  What would it take for you to become more like them?  Where will they be spending eternity?  Will you be there with them?

Wrongly Accused

No one likes to be accused of committing an injustice or crime, but it’s always much worse when the person publically blamed is completely innocent of the charges brought against him or her. 

     
I can still remember rather vividly the incident that occurred at my elementary school when I was in second grade.  A popular girl received a really mean anonymous note, and the teachers were questioning each “suspect” individually at tables in the library.
    
I hadn’t written the note and explained that I wouldn’t do something like that.  I was really insulted and offended when they had me come back a second time for questioning.  The arguments against me were 1.) The handwriting on the note was messy.  (Apparently I wasn’t the only second grader with poor penmanship.)  2.) I didn’t really like the girl who’d been given the note.  (Being outgoing, blond, and popular weren’t traits that (in and of themselves) would win me over as a friend.)
     
I couldn’t and didn’t deny that I had/have sloppy handwriting, nor did I lie and say I was friends with the girl when I wasn’t.  My anxiety, aggravation, and anger escalated, because I was telling the truth and people didn’t believe me.  Eventually they caught the real culprit, who was probably given whatever the appropriate punishment was at that time for a second grade meanie with poor penmanship in a public school. 

Fast-forward to fourth grade, and I was wrongly accused again of writing a hateful note to a popular girl who turned it in to the teacher.  Yet again, I was suspected due to my sloppy scrawling and my refusal to join the popular girl’s fan club of followers.  I told the truth, which was eventually discovered by the teachers involved.  After that, the proper perpetrator was punished in whatever manner was acceptable at that time for a fourth grade bully in a Catholic school. 

     
How did it feel to be wrongly accused?  I felt frustrated, angry, insulted, and offended both times it happened.  It really upset me that the teachers and classmates I thought knew me pretty well would suggest that I would do something so hurtful and mean.    
     
Thinking back on how upset I was over wrongly being accused of actions that now seem rather insignificant in the grand scheme of things has given me a different perspective on Christ’s suffering.  Jesus was wrongly accused of many serious crimes throughout his life, but He didn’t lash out in anger or take out a few Pharisees with the intention of proving His power.  Instead, He let His love, healing, generosity, and eternal wisdom speak for themselves as sufficient proof of His identity, integrity, intentions, and mission. 

Lord, help us to reconcile with those we have wrongly accused and with those who have unjustly blamed us.  Remind us how honesty, integrity, and truth can and will always overcome lies, deceit, and falsehood.  Lead us to be Children of the Light. Amen.   

The Transfiguration Lost in Translation

     I’ll never hear the Gospel account of the Transfiguration Mark 9:2-10 without thinking of two really funny stories shared with us many years ago when Kevin and I went to Mass at St. Charles Borromeo Church in Rochester, New York, the parish where my parents were married.  

     The Readings that day were those we have today about the Transfiguration.  A religious sister in the community gave the homily, and included in it a great anecdote about a couple who came to her to receive ministry and informed her that they used to belong to “The Church of the Disfiguration.”  She found that to be very interesting, and all of us thought it was a hilarious misnomer. 

     It got me thinking, though.  That would be kind of a fitting name for a parish since we, the people, who make up the body of Christ on Earth, are indeed all disfigured to some extent, due to our own sinfulness and turning away from God.  Fortunately our Church isn’t focused on the darkness of sin and suffering (which I tend to be sometimes), but rather is built upon and springing forth from God’s gifts of forgiveness, mercy, and salvation.   

    Later on, the priest celebrating Mass that Sunday shared an even funnier memory before we began the Liturgy of the Eucharist.  When he was growing up, one Lent his Italian grandfather recounted to the gathered family members in broken English what Jesus said to his disciples when they were descending the mountain, “No tell o’ vision ‘til the Son of God come!”  This rather rough summary of Mark 9: “As they were coming down the mountain, he ordered them to tell no one what they had seen, until after the Son of Man had risen from the dead,” led to a new Lenten sacrifice unintentionally imposed on everyone in the priest’s family.   And with that, the priest added, “None of us could watch TV for the rest of Lent.”  The Gospel reference was lost, but Grandpa made quite an impression by declaring that there would be no television until Easter.

     What aspects of your life is God asking you to sacrifice on the altar in order to grow closer to Him?

From Ashes to Ashes

My personal favorite blessing from last Lent was that my husband Kevin, prompted by the Holy Spirit, was inspired to start attending daily Mass with me.  As many Christian traditions observe the practice of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving as part of Lent, a number of people take stock of their spiritual lives and their outreach to others, ask God for guidance, and come up with a plan that will help them grow closer to the Lord between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday.      

     
Last year, I had the jaw-dropping experience of my husband Kevin informing me that he was going to begin attending daily Mass with me as part of his Lenten observance.  By then, Kevin was participating fully each Sunday and on holy days when we attended Mass.  He’d even been open to going on a couple different retreats and later served as part of two different teams for other groups of men seeking spiritual renewal.  He was living out the Catholic faith, something that I had begged, pleaded, and hoped for over a period of years when we first began dating.

     
Hearing about Kevin’s plan to join me for daily Mass made me excited, then it made me wonder how long it would last.  Praise God Almighty, since it came directly from the Holy Spirit, he started and hasn’t stopped!  For the past year, even when we’ve been on vacation, he’s accompanied me to daily Mass. 

     
This is one of the major reminders for me that not only is God still in the business of miracles, but He’s also continuing to grant prayers He inspired me to start praying years ago.  When Kevin and I first met, he’d been away from the Church for a number of years.  He’d never lost his faith in God the Father or Jesus Christ, but he fell away, sometimes ran away, from the Catholic faith. 

    
Only the Lord God could change that man’s heart and mind.  I tried many times, and I failed completely or had minimal success at best.  I prayed for Kevin’s conversion, but I had a hard time picturing the day when he wouldn’t think it was “a bit much” to go to Mass on Sundays in addition to going a few times during the week. 

     
If I think about spending 40 days focused on how sinful and selfish I am, then I’m likely to get depressed.  If I focus on how amazing the Lord is— how incredibly loving, merciful, and compassionate our God is—that He would give us His only Son as expiation for our sins, then I’m likely to be hopeful.  I’m likely to submit more fully to the Lord’s Will in all areas of my life.  I’m likely to invite God in my heart and mind to remove the lies and replace them with His infinite Truth.

     
What or whom are you going to focus on this Lent?

     
Is spending quiet time in prayer something you schedule into each day?

     
What’s the most important thing you can give up this Lent?