A year ago December, God nudged me, again. He told me it was time to move on. It didn’t make sense to me or to Kevin. I was the one with a steady income when Kevin had been out of work for six months. Why would I stop working for a family we love, and leave what I know how to do to risk not making ends meet? Because God made it clear to me it was time.
How did I know? My husband and I both prayed about it and agreed that we were getting the same message from the Lord. Also, as I said I was given strength, courage, and peace to do something I didn’t think I could go through with. I gave the family five weeks’ notice, so they’d have ample time to look for another childcare provider. I offered suggestions and said I’d be happy to help in the interviewing process of other potential candidates.
My separation anxiety wasn’t nearly as severe this time because we are good friends with the family and still spend time with them. Kevin and I are each a Godparent to one of the twins. We’ve often been invited to the girls’ birthday parties, holidays, and big family gatherings.
Once in a while, I’ll stop over and visit the girls. We save them seats on the end of a row when we go to the same Sunday evening Mass as they do. The girls are always excited to see us. They come over, want to be picked up, sit on our laps, and snuggle up to us. Most importantly: they know we still love them lots!
Discernment Review (14 months later)
Recently, I have seen some more of the reasons why God nudged me to move on, ones I couldn’t possibly have foreseen. The main and most obvious one: Kevin was out of work for over a year, always looking for a new job but not finding anything until last November. We needed the income I make working at school to make ends meet during that time.
I’ve felt encouraged and inspired by the creativity and ideas my coworkers have, the early child education training I’ve taken, and the on-the-job experience I’ve gotten working in different classrooms, with a variety of age groups and teachers.
I’ve been able to pick up some steady hours that allow me to make it to daily Mass, if I’m so inclined. I haven’t been so exhausted in general for a number of reasons, in part due to some significant changes I’ve made to my diet. I also had the time and energy to serve on the Women’s Cursillo team last April as well as begin our two-year spiritual direction course.
