The odds were against us ever being anything more than friends. We lived 500 miles apart, were/are 17 years apart in age, and dating wasn't even an option until I turned 18 (a year and three months after we first met). I am currently the age Kevin was the summer we first met. My mom and Kevin's closest friends were concerned and didn't think it would ever likely work out between us for a myriad of reasons.
Even then I was a very devout Catholic who wanted more than anything to do God's will, though I was still discerning what that would entail, while Kevin wanted nothing at all to do with organized religion, though he did believe in God and Christ. No one thought we would make it. The one person who seemed to know all along that we were supposed to be together and would weather all the storms was Kevin's dad, the real Harry Potter.
LAUGHING TOGETHER is the menu Kevin and I have for our relationship. Each of the letters represents a word that is a valuable aspect of who we are as a couple. In our second year together as a couple, back in 1999, we listed several essential ingredients and values on a piece of paper, then we chose the ones that we liked best. Kevin was the one who realized that our sixteen choices could make the words LAUGHING TOGETHER.
Loving Affectionate
Understanding
Growing
Honest
Intimate
Nurturing
Grateful
Thoughtful
Open
Giving
Enthusiastic
Tender
Helpful
Exciting
Respectful
We were thrilled! That summed us up perfectly. It’s the way we often spent our time. Kevin and I each printed versions of this up so we could sign them. The cross-stitch now hangs in our apartment, and we still have some of the magnets we made up as wedding favors.
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| Rochester is where we first met and fell in love. |
For three years before Kevin and I tied the knot, I worked on a cross-stitch scene similar to the one where we spent a great deal of time talking. It is the lighthouse, pier, and portion of Lake Ontario around Charlotte Beach in Rochester, NY. I added some boats and, in the sky portion of the landscape, cross-stitched the menu for our relationship. Kevin didn’t find out about the cross-stitch until we walked into our wedding reception and it was framed and displayed on an easel. He was amazed that I’d come up with the design and been working on it for so long without him knowing.
In fact, I have to laugh when people describe their marriage or relationship as some sort of fairytale. We haven't had that notion. It's been through the grace of God we have made it thus far, and His grace will lead us home.
The prayer I was inspired to come up with and first wrote in my journal several years ago: "Lord, plant Your will in our hearts and make it our deepest desire and most fervent longing. Lord, we pray for Your will. Amen.
