I Mend Broken Hearts-God Called

     This morning, I saw these two subsequent messages on one of the digital billboards as I drove to daily Mass at the Pastoral Center: “I Mend Broken Hearts” with a picture of a surgeon, followed by a sign with a headline that read, “God Called.” I had seen the first billboard sign of the heart surgeon before, but I hadn’t yet seen the one about God calling. (That’s not to say I haven’t heard God calling; this was just the first time I saw the message on that particular billboard.)
     That was just one of the many reminders today that God heals our broken hearts. If you put the message together with different punctuation, it sounds exactly like an ad from the Lord: “I Mend Broken Hearts!” God Called. He always wants to and is ready to forgive us, heal us, and love us unconditionally, but it’s up to us whether or not we accept these graces. The second most powerful force in the world
(the first being God’s will) is the free will of man and woman.
     The free will part is where I get in the most trouble. I realize and acknowledge in my mind that God’s forgiveness is for everyone, even me, but it’s hard for me to accept that awareness on a heart and soul level, at times. I can completely understand and believe that God has forgiven other people for similar sins as those I’ve committed, but when it’s time for me to internalize His mercy, I sometimes get stuck.
     I’ve even found myself arguing with God from time to time that I shouldn’t be forgiven, that not only do I not deserve it, but that it’s not worth extending the mercy to me. Now, mind you, God always wins these arguments. He generally does so by reminding me that Jesus’ Passion, Crucifixion, and Resurrection are sufficient to remove every stain from my soul, even those that in my eyes seem too tough to get out.
     This is one of those times I have to put myself in someone else’s shoes in order to try and see myself and my situation the way God does. I think of someone who is very precious and lovable to me, and imagine what I would say and do if that person hurt or upset me somehow, and then apologized. I would want the person to know that my love for him is greater than the indiscretion. I would do my best to convey this complete acceptance of the apology and move forward. I’d be sad and frustrated if he stayed away from me because he didn’t believe he should be or had been forgiven. The barrier keeping him from my love is one he creates and maintains.
     When I step back from a mess I’ve made and acknowledge what I’ve done wrong, ask for God’s forgiveness, and He gives it, but then I refuse to accept it, I’m the one creating the barrier that keeps His love and forgiveness out. God can forgive me, and others might forgive me, but that won’t have a lasting, healing effect if I won’t forgive myself as well.
     Lord, please help me to recognize the barriers I have erected to keep Your complete forgiveness, unconditional love, and limitless healing from entering my heart. Open me up to accept the grace You wish to pour forth into my life, so that I may experience a deeper sense of Your love and mercy. Transform me into a better vessel of Your love and light, healing and peace, hope and joy for others. Amen.