7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 120)

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From Womb to Tomb “My dear friends, you are called to care for human life from its beginning stages. Remind everyone, through actions and words, that in all its phases and at any age, life is always sacred and always of quality. It's not just a matter of faith, but of reason and science!” –Pope Francis

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Heartstrings Michele Morris, my friend who entered a cloistered Carmelite monastery this past August, has been on my mind and heart a lot lately.  I’ve been wondering how she’s doing, then out of the blue I received an e-mail from her mom in which she included the following message for me from Michele: “Hi, The glory bee you gave me has been adopted by all the Sisters.  Love, Hugs and Glory Bees........Michele” I’m taking this to mean that not only has the community been accepting of the little stuffed animal “glory bee” I gave her, but that they are also, and far more importantly, welcoming her warmly, lovingly, and enthusiastically into their fold. 

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Can He? Could He? Would He? Did He? These are some of the lyrics to a catchy little song I learned and had to perform in front of the other teens and chaperones at a lock-in I attended with a Christian friend of mine back when we were in high school.  It seems a good time to get back to the basics, which I see as returning to ALL we have and ALL we need: God.  

     Kevin and I have both been feeling lost and wondering what’s next for us in pretty much every single area of our lives.  A major consolation is that there are some things we are sure of: 1.) we want to do God’s will 2.) we’re not quite sure what that entails as of yet, and 3.) we both need to be grateful that the Lord has brought us together and is bringing us closer to Him and one another (which is part of my prayer for the two of us every day).            

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Walking with Mary My husband and I both relished the approachability, wisdom, and the subtle humor found throughout Walking with Mary: A Biblical Journey from Nazareth to the Cross. Edward Sri is a very knowledgeable, well-read, and engaged student of the Blessed Mother.  His approach is intriguing and far more compelling than a strictly academic study of Mary’s role in salvation history.

Walking with Mary is so insightful and inspiring that I read it twice.  I rarely reread a book unless I absolutely love it and/or really want to share it with my husband Kevin.  The second time through, I read Walking with Mary aloud to Kevin, and we were both fascinated by how author/professor Edward Sri explains the role of Mary in God’s plan for our eternal salvation through close examination of Old and New Testament Scripture passages from G-R (Genesis through Revelation).  A clearer picture and more in-depth explanation of the culture and customs of families and society in the time she lived are what really set this book apart from others about Mary, who is the ideal model for all Christ’s followers…Read more here.

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Soap Suds This evening I finally did something Kevin and I have considered doing for 15+ years and had never gotten around to: I melted down the bar of soap we gave him with a tugboat in the middle of it.  My mom, sisters, and I presented this gift of soap with tugboat in it after Kevin had been so kind to take all of us out on his family’s boat while we were there visiting.  We chose this particular bar of soap from one of our favorite shops in Rochester, Parkleigh, because one of the times Kevin had taken us out on the boat, he’d been intent on finding a sunken tugboat he assured us was in the area.  None of us ever spotted it, so we hassled him by getting him this submerged tugboat soap.  I think it’s really adorable that he kept it all these years.  (Don’t worry he’s used lots of other soap since.)  We presented him with this gag gift before he and I were even dating.  Now I have unearthed the tugboat (the one pictured-isn't it cute?!), and it’s on one of our corner shelves along with some other items from soon after we first met and became friends.

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My Mama Showed Me There have been a number of things that I’ve learned from how my mother has lived since we were little.  Praying, reading, writing, listening to God, respecting life from conception to natural death, finding joy in spending time with the young and the old, singing, dancing, laughing, having fun, being silly, hanging out with friends, and encouraging others are all important aspects of life I have learned from the way my mom lives her life.
   
Lord, I ask that you would inspire all parents, caregivers, nannies, child care providers…to take joy in the gift of their children, and turn to You for guidance and the unconditional love necessary to do what’s best for the little ones entrusted to our care. 
 
If you love little ones and are a person of prayer, see what you can do to support parents and young ones near you.
    

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How to Listen so Kids Will Talk I read this book a while back as part of my training hours for the school where I work.  I know some of you are thinking that you’d really be more interested in finding out how to get kids to stop talking, but I have found this to be one of the very best books I’ve ever read in terms of listening.  I highly recommend getting a copy of this book to read and reread and read again.  Most communication problems have to do with people’s inability or unwillingness to listen.  This book covers the steps and necessary aspects of active listening.  If you want to improve your relationship with anyone—not just children—read this book and do what it says.  Actually, the companion to this book How to Talk To Kids so They Will Listen is a good read as well, but interestingly enough, it wasn't nearly as life-changing for me.  One of my favorite pieces of advice from the woman and her son who started Applebaum Training Institute is: "The more you connect, the less you correct."  It's so incredibly true!!  The more you connect, listen, and really interact with kids (and anyone else in your life), the more likely they are to listen to you and what you have to say.    

                  

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 117)

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Flashback Fridays Kevin and I have made a point of going to the traditional Friday night Fish Fry.  The Long Pond Family Restaurant has been our Fish Fry place of choice.  They have a yummy beer-battered fish fry on Fridays that comes with soup, salad, French fries, and the proper fixings (which I practically never use).  The broiled fish with a baked potato is also available and was much to my liking.

 

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Are You New Here? Kevin and I have made a habit of going to daily Mass at Holy Cross, a church near Charlotte Beach, on many weekdays.  We’ve made a friend or two there over the years.  It was hilarious to see the look on one woman’s face who was setting up the altar and happened to glance in our direction.  She was positively shocked and utterly delighted to see us.  She thought maybe that she’d missed our visit since she hadn’t yet seen us this summer.  The gentleman who has been sitting behind us pretty much every day we’ve gone to Mass there introduced himself to us yesterday and asked if we are new at the parish.  We explained we come up here every year on vacation, but that we don’t live here.  He seemed a bit disappointed we weren’t here to stay.  It’s so nice to feel wanted and welcomed!

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Grandfathers in the Faith One of the many reasons Kevin and I look forward to going to Mass at Holy Cross is that they have a couple elderly priests who are really remarkable men of faith.  They are both very friendly, genuinely enthusiastic about their love for Christ and dedication to inspire others to live the Gospel.  I wonder if these two men know how dear they are to our Lord and their faith community.  How could you not love such endearing, devout elderly priests who are giving their all at the altar well into their 70s and 80s?!  Wow!

 

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Flea Market Finds So perhaps a two week car trip when we don’t pack light isn’t exactly the best time for me to come across some inexpensive breakable items to put on the display shelf on the half wall of our apartment, but I did, so we will find a way to pack them so they make it back to Richmond in their purchased-forms.  (I’d like to experiment doing some art projects with broken glass, but these aren’t the pieces I plan to use). 

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Can I go, yet? It is really quite entertaining to play Mexican Train Dominoes with Kevin’s family.  Our after-dinner game last Sunday was no exception.  There were a number of times that we were absolutely in hysterics between Kevin, his sisters, and brothers-in-law it is hard to keep a straight face even if you end up coming in dead last (that would be me).   

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Must Have Chocolate My sisters-in-law are women after my own heart when it comes to chocolate.  All of them love it!  Kevin’s sister Chari made a beeline for the chocolate candy bag in the kitchen cupboard the second she and her husband arrived at the cottage though there were a number of things they had to bring in from their vehicle.  Throughout the evening, she would reach in her pocket and pull-out yet another Tootsie Roll.  It was quite amusing.  Glad I’m not the only one who’s serious about wanting chocolate.
    

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The Badminton Debacle I can’t really think of any other way to describe it.  Kevin and I have been using badminton rackets and birdies, but I don’t think anyone would deign to refer to what we do as actually “playing badminton.”  Suffice it to say that we have fun using badminton equipment (minus the net) to get exercise, and we inadvertently end up entertaining the neighbors and anyone else who happens by while we’re out on the lawn.

     
Don’t tell my mom this, but we actually have had more fun doing our version of badminton than we have in spending time splashing around in the lake.  My mother spends every minute she can in the lake when she’s here.  Kevin and I have been in swimming all of two times while we’ve been here, and that doesn’t really bother us.  There's more than one way to enjoy Rochester, and this is how we roll! :)

                  

     Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

Rewinding in Rochester

Railroad Bridge Scrapped

This is the view a couple years ago of the Genesee River from Ontario Beach Park (aka Charlotte pronounced without the "r") when the actual railroad bridge remained. Kevin modeled that bridge to scale (N-scale) as part of a model railroading layout he began of the area around 1950. The bridge has been scrapped in the past year. Kevin's beyond disappointed, but it may open up the possibility that someone will be interested in his layout for historical purposes and interest.

Gravestone Not Yet Engraved

Since the weather was so horrendous, Kevin and I couldn’t make it up to Rochester at the beginning of February for my grandmother’s funeral, I wanted to visit the gravesite where she is buried.  We asked at the office where she was buried, and we were given a map and directions.  I knew that other family members who died many years ago are in the same plot.  I found the right gravestone, but I was rather discouraged that my grandmother’s name wasn’t anywhere on it.  I called my mom to ask her if we were at the right gravestone, and she confirmed that we were. 

Apparently, they have not gotten around to engraving my grandmother’s name into the stone purchased years ago by and for her family members.  My grandma’s name, Marilyn Lohwater, was not engraved on the gravestone, but I took comfort in knowing that she’s definitely engraved in God’s heart and in His book of those meant to spend eternity with Him in Heaven.  

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 116)

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First Things First Saturday the first thing we did after dropping our things off at the cottage was to go to 4:30pm Mass at St. Charles Borromeo Church, the same place where my parents got married in the 70s, where I brought Kevin even before we were dating to attend Mass with me, and where he later went weekly on his own once he came back to the Catholic faith in which he was raised.  Most recently, St. Charles Borromeo was where my grandmother, Marilyn Lohwater’s funeral Mass was held.  The weather was so bad this past February, Kevin and I were unable to make it up there, since airports were closed due to the blizzard.  It was also through involvement at St. Charles that my grandmother knew Kevin’s aunt and uncle, who rented us their side of the cottage some sixteen years ago, initiating a friendship that may never have occurred otherwise. 

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With Grandma Gone It feels strange being in Rochester without my grandmother alive.  So many of my memories here have to do with her.  Growing up, this was the one place we returned to each summer.  During the year, Grandma would come visit us wherever we happened to live at the time.  I lived with my grandma in her two bedroom apartment off of Lake Avenue the summer after I graduated from high school, so Kevin and I would only be three miles apart rather than 500 miles.  So many connections, so many memories.

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Want to Make Mudpies?! I can still picture my cousin (who is now a teenager in high school) when he was just a toddler.  My aunt, uncle, and their two children came to spend time with us at the cottage and enjoy the beach and the lake.  With the utmost enthusiasm and a huge grin on his face, my cousin would approach our grandmother and ask in what came out in almost a high-pitched shriek: “Gamma, wanna make mudpies?!” as if this was the most thrilling activity on the planet (which, of course, to a little guy playing at the beach, it was). 

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Playing Cards One of the many things I learned from my maternal grandmother was how to enjoy playing card games.  We started out with Crazy Eights, Go Fish, and later progressed to War, Gin Rummy, and Conasta.  When four of my cousins came to visit one time, we all ended up in a line on our living room floor, paired off playing cards. 

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When the Cousins Came My grandma also taught me how to knit.  One of my earliest knitting projects was a baby blanket for my soon-to-be-born youngest sister.  Another memorable, amusing and definitely Grandma-inspired activity when my cousins came to see us was wearing the knit slippers Grandma had made each of us and seeing how far we could slide in them on the hardwood floors in our house.  That was an interesting Thanksgiving break!

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Sweet Sixteen My mom, sisters, grandma, and I met Kevin and his dad, the real Harry Potter, when I was only sixteen.  All of us became friends when we rented the other side of the cottage where Kevin and his dad lived, so we could spend a week right on what my mom refers to as “her lake.”  None of us imagined what God had in store for the next sixteen years, but here Kevin and I are, back where it all began, coming up on our ninth wedding anniversary.  Just like the lyrics said in one of the mixed tapes Kevin made me when we were dating, “I can tell you my love for you will still be strong after the boys of summer have gone.”  It’s a pretty fitting song for Kevin and me that you can listen to below, if you like. 

    

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Family Ties Now when Kevin and I come to Rochester, we spend much of our time traveling down memory lanes (because there are multiple ones in this town for both of us).  We also have fun spending time with family, mostly Kevin’s sisters and their families, who we usually only get to see when we’re in town staying at their side of the cottage.

     
God has given us so much to be grateful for!!  Thank You, Lord!

                   

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

Empty Nest Errs

     It feels a little bit strange going to St. Benedict’s for daily Mass now that the two people (besides each other) Kevin and I most often attended Mass with at that church have moved to new places as they continue on their faith and vocation journeys.  I won’t hear from Michele until Christmas and that’s if she sends me a letter via snail mail since she's now in a cloistered Carmelite community in Carmel, California.  

     Fortunately, we keep in touch pretty much daily with John in one way or another, even though he’s been on summer assignment in Hampton, Virginia, and is heading back to St. Mary’s Seminary in Baltimore, Maryland, very soon for his second year of seminary.  

There's not a straight wall or floor in our place,
but the picture frames are level,
though this photo seems like it's not.

     In a sense, Kevin and I have felt like we’ve had two leave the nest over the past year.  What’s funny is that this summer, we’ve started actually spent some time decorating our place.  We now have our dining area devoted to a Rochester, Lake Ontario, beginning of Kevin and me becoming friends and dating theme. 

     We have a new shower curtain and matching towels in the bathroom.  I’m still working on what I’ve been referring to as my “inspiration wall” which is the space above my desk.  This past weekend, I figured out how I’m going to display some cards Kevin and I sent each other over the years in a collage so they can be opened and read while hanging up.  

     I try to remind myself of the major progress I’ve made in the past in the past nine months.  It is rather significant considering I’d brought several boxes over here when my mom sold the family home last fall, and then another bunch of things to sort through when my grandmother passed away, plus I still had some items from my dad that I didn’t want to throw out, but I hadn’t gotten around to mailing to family members or friends who would appreciate the items that my dad had collected over the years.

     It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if when Kevin and I finally get our place looking halfway decent (as far as we are concerned—not according to what anyone else thinks) and to a point where we could comfortably have more than our usual one person over at a time, then we’d decide to move.  After being dragged from one location to the next while I was growing up and hating it every time.  I do not like the prospect of moving, but at least I can be fairly certain we’ll be staying in Richmond.  God would have to make it blatantly obvious and more than abundantly clear to both Kevin and me that it was His Will before I’d even consider another out of state move.     

     There is a part of me wondering who God might bring into our lives next to walk with on their vocational discernment journey.  Another part of me is wondering if this will be a time for Kevin to focus more our own relationships with the Lord and one another.  Perhaps that would be partly expressed through us getting back to work on our spiritual memoir.  I know, I for one, could certainly stand to be reminded of the myriad of ways the Lord has worked in and through our lives over the past 15+ years. 

Big Birthday Celebration Postponed

     So there wasn’t a big celebration planned, but today is a big birthday for Kevin, so he had hoped to enjoy the day.  He took off of work with the intention of getting some time out on his motorcycle, visiting me and the girls, then later having some barbecue at Famous Dave’s and chilling for a bit at the pool at my mom’s with some dessert and (as per his request) a very small gathering of family and a couple friends, but most of that didn’t even happen.  He felt sick yesterday morning, but he went to work anyway.  Mid-afternoon, he left early to come home and crawl into bed.  He wasn’t feeling well this morning, but I knew that he was awake before I left for work and shaving, because he intended to go somewhere, likely on his motorcycle. 

     I was very tempted to get him to promise me not to go anywhere on his motorcycle when he was already feeling crummy and the day was going to be really hot, but I resisted.  I gave him his birthday card.  His main gift is sitting in our living room, all 50 inches of flat-screen TV he’s wanted for years, and I finally consented to in celebration of his monumental birthday this July. 

     I know him all too well.  He did go out on his motorcycle, but he wasn’t out for very long, before he started feeling even worse.  Thankfully, he had the good sense to come home rather than push his luck and head out of town for a long ride.  Poor thing.  He’s spent most of the afternoon and evening curled up in bed.  We’re not sure if it’s a cold or what, but the timing of it has not been appreciated. 

     On one hand, I’m grateful that for months, he’s been saying that he didn’t want to make a big deal out of his birthday, so I decided not to plan a big surprise party or even a he-knows-about-it-already big party.  I respected his wishes and asked a couple people to meet us for dinner and a couple to join us for dessert.  Now, I’m very glad that he wanted to keep things on the down low, because I am certain he would be even more bummed than he already is if we had lots of people, food, and preparation invested in a big bash that he couldn’t enjoy. 

     We’re hoping he’ll feel better, so we can try a low-key celebration this weekend, and a bigger (but just as if not more) informal family/friend party in August when we’re in Rochester.  Sixteen years ago, the summer my mom, sisters, and I first met Kevin and his father, we were there over his birthday and remembered the date for the following year.  For his next birthday we were also staying at the cottage and decorated his front door. 

     Now that Kevin and I are decorating what has become “our Rochester wall,” we have the original card we gave him framed, a whole wooden box of “Shhhh” with his name on it, and a bar of soap with a tugboat in it placed on our new corner shelves.  Kevin’s kept basically all of the letters and gifts I’ve made or bought and given to him over the years, but there is at least one little one that I haven’t seen in years.  We got him a keychain and wrote “Coast Guard” and underneath put the phone number for the local Dunkin Donuts.  We all got a big kick out of that. 

     Lord, thank You for the gift of my husband, who has been an integral part of my life for the past sixteen years.  Back then, he never thought he’d make it to this birthday.  Neither of us ever thought we'd  be approaching our ninth year of marriage to each other.  I’m grateful God always knows better.  I hope and pray we will have lots more than sixteen years of birthdays to celebrate together in the future.  Lord, may Your Will be done!

The Outer Limits of: French, Food, Fun, and Laughter

Speaking French, funny stories, rollercoasters, West African music and dance, an assortment of photos, video clips, and discussions made this evening quite enjoyable.  My youngest sister is in town for a couple weeks, and I hadn’t seen her since my mom and I went up to Ohio back in April to see her performances. 

    
Since then she’s been to Burkina Faso for the second time and loved it.  I was excited to hear about her trip and looking forward to speaking with her in French, which she’d really like to keep up.  We hung out at my mom’s.  Kevin came over after work and grocery shopping and cut up fruit for us all to eat while we were talking. 

Food Matters

We laughed about some amusing moments from when we were growing up, one of those being the day that my mom quickly packed my sister “a lunch” for the day she was spending with me while I took care of “my two little guys.”  (For further explanation, see My Nanny Diary.)  The contents of said lunch were rather interesting: 1. a loaf of cinnamon raisin bread 2. a box of individual packets of hot cocoa mix.

   
Opening a package of crackers and eating a couple that were starting to go stale, my sister said she didn’t mind them.  I told her that she should have known they were stale since there wasn’t FRESH written on the side of the package in black permanent marker.  Writing FRESH in black marker was a trick a household member had for identifying the cereal purchased most recently that was least likely to be stale.  Rather than throw the stale cereal out, this individual helpfully marked the new box as FRESH.

Enjoy the Ride

My mom and sister just got back from some time in Rochester, New York, so we were talking about the people and places they visited up there and got onto the subject of roller coasters.  There is a rather small (in terms of other amusement parks we’ve gone to) place with rides and a water park that’s been in its current location since before I was born.  Often when we’d go up to Rochester to visit my grandma, grandpa, uncles, and my parents' friends from college, we would spend a day at Seabreeze where they have such rides as the Jack Rabbit, a wooden rollercoaster that my parents went on years before we were even a twinkle in their eyes.  My sister and cousins went to the park for a quick visit to hit the highlights at Seabreeze before they closed the gates. 

This got us into a discussion about rollercoasters at different amusement parks and how family members responded to those at Seabreeze, King’s Dominion, and Busch Gardens.  Kevin had to tell the story about the time we were at King’s Dominion for the day, and we rode the Outer Limits rollercoaster for the first time.  Afterward, we decided to have lunch.  I went up to an open window and asked for “two orders of stricken chips.” 

The person looked at me quite confused.  I didn’t even realize what I’d said until Kevin stepped forward and said, “I’m sorry.  We just got off a rollercoaster.  What she meant to say is that we’d like two orders of chicken strips, please.”  We spent the entire lunch laughing hysterically as we ate our chicken and fries, and later I drew a little picture of a house and wrote "Home for Abused Chips" on the front of one of the many letters I sent him back then when we were still dating. 

   
Kevin's kept every card, note, and letter I sent him from when we first met throughout the entire time we were dating, so I came across the envelope the other day when I was rereading cards, letters, and things I'd sent him which are now mixed in with the letters and cards he sent me way back when.

Déjà-Vu All Over Again

There We Go, Again

We received a notification from the airline we’re taking to get to my grandmother’s funeral that there's a winter storm advisory for Boston, MA (where we were originally scheduled to get our connecting flight) that might make it a good idea for us to change flights.  Kevin said in response to this: "If I have to, I'll just take a whole day. It's bereavement; they'll get over it!" That is my dearly beloved husband and one of the reasons I find him so hilarious and endearing.

     
Thankfully, after speaking to a number of not-so-helpful customer service people, Kevin was able to get our flights changed so that we are less likely to get stuck in Boston, MA on Friday.

Flashback ‘92

There are some things that I don't think need to be repeated, but they are anyway. Nana (my dad's mom) passed away when I was 11 years old.  She lived in Florida, but she was visiting us for the holidays.  My nana, dad, and I stayed up late on Christmas Eve watching the movie Home Alone and laughing hysterically.  My nana had the sort of laugh that was like a cartoon character, and her laugh made my dad crack up even harder.  The next morning Nana went into the hospital near us, where my youngest sister had been born less than three months before, and that is where my paternal grandmother passed away.  Her funeral had been planned for quite some time, so, of course, we all made the trek to upstate New York in the middle of a blizzard at the beginning of February to go to the Mass. 

Back to 2006

Seven years ago in January, Kevin had just had foot surgery and we got a call that his mother’s health was failing.  She’d been in a nursing home for years with Alzheimer’s, so getting worse for her meant she wouldn’t likely live very long.  Kevin was able to speak to her on the phone to tell her he loved her and that it was okay to let go.  As soon as the 48 hours was up that he had to be off of his foot, we were able to fly to upstate New York (thanks to the help of one of the families for whom I nannied at the time letting us use their frequent flyer miles) for the burial of Kevin’s mother (Joyce) and father (Harry Potter).  His father had passed away the year before and per his request had been cremated and was to be placed in his wife’s coffin.   

Then and Now

My maternal grandmother miraculously lived through a number of brushes with death.  Doctors told us numerous times she only had a matter of months, if not days, to live.  They were wrong for sixteen years about that.  Despite having an advanced stage of cancer and having a pacemaker put in, she returned home and was able to live on her own for several more years. 

     
In 2009 when my dad was also in hospice care, we admitted my grandma as well.  My grandma, however, had the blessed experience of getting well enough that she got kicked out of hospice.  The nurse figured she probably didn’t need their care anymore when they kept trying to come see her, and she wasn’t in her room.  She was off playing bridge or at Mass (in the building), but she was clearly doing significantly better. 

     
The prayer that if this was my grandmother’s time to go to the Lord that it would be quick and painless for her was granted.  Kevin and I went and visited her last Wednesday evening and saw that she was on oxygen and exhibiting many of the symptoms that Kevin and I have come to recognize in those whose death was going to happen very soon.  I thought she would at least make it until the weekend, but that wasn’t to be. 

     
I was at the family’s house where I nanny when I received the call from my mom about how Grandma had passed away during the night.  My mom and some of the nuns had been with her praying at the time.  Because I’d had my initial cry and mourning period a couple weeks earlier, I was able to take the news in stride.  (I was cheerleading at a St. Mary’s basketball game held at Benedictine High School when my dad and uncles came in to tell us that Nana had passed away.)

     
Interestingly enough, a couple weeks before my grandmother’s sharp decline, I walked into Mass at Little Sisters of the Poor, saw her asleep in her wheelchair and having difficulty breathing, and I just knew she wouldn’t be with us in body as well as spirit for much longer.  I cried throughout the Mass, much the same as I did the evening a couple weeks before my nana’s death when it sank it that she wouldn’t be getting better this time like she had the other times doctors told us she wouldn’t make it. 

  

Funeral Arrangements & Prayers Requests  

This Saturday, February 9, 2013, my grandmother, Marilyn Lohwater’s funeral will be held at 10:30am at St. Charles Borromeo Church.  May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.  Amen.

     
Please also pray that all of us will make it safely to and from yet another female family member’s funeral in upstate NY at the beginning of February during a snowstorm.  They’re saying that the storm could end up dumping 2 feet of snow in the Northeast.

Note to reader: we weren't able to make it up for the funeral, but at least my mom got there before the worst of the weather descended.

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 65)

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Back to the Beach Kevin and I have had a great deal of fun playing badminton on the beach behind the cottage.  I’m fairly certain anyone who has watched us play our version of the game—no net, no boundaries, no rules, just keep the birdie in the air at all costs—has been entertained.  It’s gotten us laughing out loud.  That’s for certain! 

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Living on the Lake Again this year, I occasionally had moments of “whoa, I never would have thought it would be like this!” as Kevin and I have spent time at his family’s cottage where we first met and became friends when I was still in high school sixteen years ago. 

 

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Kickin’ it at the Cottage It’s definitely nostalgic being back here on the lake in Rochester, spending time where my husband and I first met and got to know each other.  Now that my mom’s selling her house, it feels even more like this is the one home base I have left to come and spend time with family, rest, relax, catch up, read a good book, share a meal, hear a story, and just be myself. 

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Remember when… we found out our grandmothers used to play cards together…all Kevin and I wanted was to spend time together…we stayed up all night talking then watched the sunrise…we played endless card games…I helped Kevin wash his car and let him try and pull me up on water skis…we sat for hours on “our block” at the pier talking and getting pictures of the sunset…we rode bikes to Charlotte Beach for the Wednesday night concert…Kevin threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes in order to carry me out to the boat… 

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Not in a million years would I have believed that Kevin would return to the Catholic faith in which he was raised and someday even enjoy going to daily Mass with me.  When we met, he wanted nothing to do with organized religion and was still bitter that his mother had made him go to Mass on Sundays.  His complete conversion is proof NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD!      

 

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Sunday Traditions We spent another family fun Sunday with Kevin’s three sisters, their husbands, and family.  Dinner preparation starts earlier now that playing dominoes for hours has become a favorite pastime.  When we arrived at the cottage, they’d posted the score sheet from the weekend before we arrived, because it was the first time Kevin’s oldest sister Deb had ever won at the intense game of Mexican train dominoes held down at the lake.

 

-7-

Summer’s Over or so it seems since we’ll be heading home tomorrow from our last vacation this year.  It’s hard to believe that these three months are already gone.  Kevin has to work on Labor Day, and I start my new nannying schedule on Tuesday.  We’ll be praying that everyone has safe travels and a blessed school year!

 

Head over to Conversion Diary, to read Jen Fulwiler's wonderful tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday.

“What do You want of me?” Part I of IV

     Ever since I first saw “Teresita,” an original play written about Teresa of Avila and read the poem “In the Hands of God” by the renowned saint and Doctor of the Church, I have begun framing my discernment around that same question repeated in her poem: “What do You want of me?” 

Then and Now

     Spending time back at the cottage where Kevin and I first met over sixteen years ago has raised a lot of questions for me, for both of us actually.  Obviously our lives have changed quite a bit since we first met at the cottage when my mom and sisters rented the other half of the cottage from where Kevin lived with his dad, the real Harry Potter. 

     Births, Baptisms, anniversaries, deaths, memories, and recent life events have reminded us of these occurrences and made us slow down and take stock.  In many ways, Kevin and I aren’t where we thought or hoped we’d be by this time in our lives, in our marriage, in our families, our careers, though we have grown considerably since we first met in ways only the Lord could have brought about.
     When looking around and seeing others who are raising children, buying and fixing up their houses, getting a promotion at work, taking the next step towards their religious vocation, and or those who are working hard towards some other admirable goal the Lord has placed on their hearts, Kevin and I have sometimes wondered what’s next for us .  Where do we fit into all of this?  Are we mostly who and where God wants us to be?  Our visions for the future were so different when we started out, but some of the most fervent prayers and deepest passions God placed in us have come to pass. 

 God’s timing, not ours

     Despite practically every sort of opposition possible, Kevin and I through the grace of God have remained a couple since I was in high school.  We entered into the gift, covenant, and sacrament of marriage nearly eight years ago (September 4, 2004), and have weathered many storms together since then.  Kevin has lost both of his parents.  I’ve lost my father.  We’ve faced extremely difficult health, financial, spiritual, and emotional challenges that have tested us in ways we never anticipated.    

     What I begged for the hardest while we were still dating, for Kevin to return to the faith in which he was raised and have a direct relationship with the Lord, God has granted in truly miraculous ways that continue to amaze and astound me. 

     We have a deep love and appreciation for faith, family, and friends.  We take great joy in being around children.  We try to use the resources and talents we’ve been given to help others.  We still enjoy LAUGHING TOGETHER! 

     Our lives are not what we thought they would be, but perhaps (we hope) they are closer to what God wants them to be. 

Our prayer: Lord, help us to turn to You for guidance, insight, and inspiration as to whom You want us to be, what You would like us to do, where, how, with and for whom.  Your plan for us as individuals and as a married couple is so much greater, more loving, and beautiful than anything we could come up with on our own.  The prayer you put in my heart many years ago still seems like the perfect one to pray: Plant Your will in our hearts and make it our deepest desire and most fervent longing. 
     Here are the other three parts of this reflection on our ongoing discernment as a couple: Part II, Part III, Part IV.

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 55)

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“Once Upon a Time” Camp this week was a super-smashing success!  I really enjoyed being lead teacher for a camp that combines some of my favorite things: reading, children, learning, and laughing.  We read a number of popular children’s books, made some cute pig and colorful big bad wolf puppets and got to take turns using them for improv shows.  Check out the other awesome camp offerings available through Richmond Montessori School here.  There’re still a few spaces left in a couple of my camps.     

-2-

 Oh-so-sleepy It’s always difficult going back to work after vacation, but Kevin and I really like the people we work with which certainly makes it easier to return.  We were both really exhausted at the beginning of this week, though.  I can’t believe it’s gone by so quickly, that it was less than a week ago that we were still enjoying our time in Rochester, NY.  As always, on the drive up two weeks ago, I knew that it would seem like no time at all had passed and we’d find ourselves back in the car headed South.  And that’s precisely what happened.     

-3-

Creative Writing Workshop for Adults is being offered in the Richmond area for one week.  Whether you have a lilt for the lyrical or a passion for prose, you’ll have your inner muse kicked into high gear as we explore the spectacular world of creative writing. We’ll see how music, art and stimulating our five senses inspire us to create literary masterpieces (or at least the beginnings of such). Discover your writing gifts and learn how to hone those literary skills.  Register online at Richmond Montessori School under "Summer Programs." 

-4-

Dominating in Dominoes Kevin and I have a new gaming obsession thanks to his sisters: Mexican train dominoes.  We played it a couple different times with his sisters and their spouses, and we actually had a really good tutor in our corner the first time we played, which was nice because these games can get pretty hardcore.  John beat everyone when we all played together, so we had to have a rematch, and he won against just Kevin and me, too.  I bought a set so Kevin and I can play at home, too.  Justice will be served, dear brother :)      

-5-

Friday Fish Fry Last Friday, Kevin, his three sisters, Deb, Wendy, and Chari, our beloved brother in Christ John, and I went to Schooner’s restaurant on the Genesee River to get a fish fry.  It was a beautiful evening to sit outside, be on the water, share a meal with loved ones, and even listen to a live band.    

-6-

Blast from the Past Kevin had to laugh when he saw that a buddy of his from back in the day when he owned his own music studio was the singer/guitarist for the band playing at Schooner’s that evening.  As soon as Mickey Ames (guitarist/vocalist of The Fools) spotted Kevin, he announced that KP was in the house.  Since Kevin was no longer a drummer in a band, running sound for a band, and had gotten rid of his recording studio by the time we met, I feel that I’m getting a glimpse into his former life. 

-7-

How Sweet It Is Ever since I was in utero, we’ve gone to Rochester, New York in the summer, but this was the first time that Kevin and I got to show someone who had never been there around, and it was fun.  John took the train up and arrived late a week ago last Tuesday to stay with us at the cottage for a few days.  The three of us really had a good time.  It was neat taking John to the many different places that have been significant for Kevin and me throughout the course of our relationship, and also introducing him to Kevin’s family, and to our favorite restaurants. Oh, yeah, and now he understands why we like being on the lake so much and has experienced some of what I've written about in the memoir I've been working on about the miraclous series of events God orchestrated to bring Kevin and I together and keep us best friends until we could date. 

Head over to Conversion Diary, to read Jen Fulwiler's wonderful tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday.

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 54)

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Fearless is a full-throttle, no holding back, breakneck-paced true story of Navy SEAL Adam Brown.  Ever since his childhood, Adam Brown was a risk taker who loved pushing the limits.  This engaging account of his life is nothing short of breathtaking, earth-changing, and absolutely miraculous.  Eric Blehm, New York Times Best-selling Author of The Only Thing Worth Dying For, has masterfully illustrated and expressed the fascinating trials, triumphs, tribulations, and turmoil that defined a man hardwired with a mission to give everything he had and was in mind, body, and spirit in service to his country, his family, and his comrades…Read more here.

-2-

Family Fun with Kevin’s sisters and their families has been quite enjoyable.  As has been tradition since way before Kevin and I first met, everyone has gathered at the cottage to share a meal, catch up with one another, laugh a lot, and (a new fave this trip) play some very intense games of Mexican train dominoes.  It’s still hard to believe that I was sixteen when my mom, sisters, and I first rented the other side of the cottage and met Kevin and his family.  

-3-

Dinnertime Discussions Yet again we have covered some quite unusual subject matter at suppertime.  The first time I came over to have dinner with Kevin and his family years ago when we were dating, one of his sisters started talking about the breast reduction she’d gotten a while back, and his other sister said “the girls have been peeing in the yard, and they don’t even bother covering it up anymore.”  I was rather shocked by the second comment until I recalled that sister has two sons, and must therefore she must be talking her cats.  Colonoscopy was the most out there subject brought up during our most recent family meal.

-4-

BBQ Junction: The Dinosaur is an old train station turned into one of the best barbecue places on the planet.  We went there for lunch today to savor mouth-watering ribs, chicken, beef brisquet, and pulled pork slow-roasted for hours.      

-5-

Sacred Heart Cathedral This afternoon we went to Mass at the cathedral.  I remember years ago calling around to find somewhere with a Sunday evening Mass, so we could go out on the boat with Kevin that morning.  I was wearing a dress, ready for church and not planning on getting wet, so when we found a later Mass, Kevin offered to carry me out to the boat.  I took him up on his offer, but I had my feathers a bit ruffled when he unceremoniously threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.  I never thought back then that I would someday be married to Kevin and we’d be going to Mass together. 

-6-

Abbott’s Frozen Custard One of my mom’s absolute favorite desserts here is chocolate almond custard with extra almonds on top.  That’s exactly what I had Thursday evening after walking the Charlotte Beach pier, taking pictures of a beautiful sunset, like I did so often back when Kevin and I were first getting to know each other.

-7-

Reaching Out in Love is the name of a collection of stories told by Blessed Mother Teresa.  A quote from it really spoke to me as I have wondered what God would like of me.  Mother Teresa made this comment to two Japanese gentlemen who were interviewing her about the work of the Missionaries of Charity and their work: “Our love for God in action is our service to the poor.  Your love for God in action is to write properly.  Your love for God is to write the truth, to spread goodness, to spread beautiful things.  This is the way you put your love for God in action.”  I believe this is part of the answer the Lord has given to me about what He wants me to do, or keep doing, and how He intends for me to reach out to others in love.      

Head over to Conversion Diary, to read Jen Fulwiler's wonderful tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday.