A New Take on New Year's

     A super-speeded up balloon drop, noisemakers, crowns made of Happy New Year’s garland, international music, dancing, French toast, sausage biscuits, and sparkling grape juice were all elements of our New Year’s party yesterday afternoon. The kids had fun and, truth be told, so did the adults present.
     None of the kids moped around talking about what a rough year it had been or making promises to lose weight, gain muscle, finish that project at home, or exercise more in 2011. Their conversation was light and often amusing. I couldn’t resist jotting down a few of the comments I overheard come out of the mouths of babes:

Going with or without at Christmas

 

This Year Our Christmas Came Without

It came without picking out the live family tree,
decorating homemade sugar cookies,
sending out a single Christmas card.

It came without setting out the family’s nativity,
listening to Christmas carols while
watching the colored lights on the tree.

It came without candles burning while sipping tea,
evenings of jingle bell laughter, singing, spinning and dance,
watching all of our favorite Christmas movies in advance.

It came without stressing over buying a long list of gifts,
going to our usual Christmas shows,
lots of parties to go to given by friends.

     There were a number of extenuating circumstances which kept Kevin and me from participating in our usual Advent and Christmas traditions this year.

The Christmas Play Spectacular

     On Saturday afternoon, Kevin and I went to a play at Little Sisters of the Poor written and directed by Sister Joseph Marie. The play showed the remarkable parallels between the first Christmas and the initial promptings of the Holy Spirit in guiding foundress Saint Jeanne Jugan to start the Congregation of Little Sisters of the Poor.
     The stage settings, designed by Nhan Duong, were very nicely done. There were a three month old infant, several children, and young teens in the cast along with the usual assortment of elderly residents.
     I found it to be a sort of poetic justice to be sitting at Little Sisters holding hands with my husband

Love Them Anyway

      "What do you do when the person talks and talks and talks, and you listen and listen and listen - but they never change? How do you respond when a person says they want help, but refuses to make any headway on practical suggestions? What do you do when they continue on a destructive path, unwilling to take help offered or listen to suggestions? Where does the biblical model for correction come into play (2 Timothy 2:23-26; Matthew 18:15-20)?" 
Note: the above questions were presented in an Anonymous comment on my A Snow Angel to the Rescue & Related Life Lessons post, and the below response is my answer.

     This is a loaded set of questions. One response is that if you are really listening to a person, chances are that your compassion and love for him or her will grow, as will your ability to see the Lord working in and through the individual, even if the things you see as being wrong don’t change. God’s grace works in amazing ways and at times we don’t expect. It’s surprising to find out how much we affect others by being honest, seeking the Lord, and wanting more than anything else to do His will. A seemingly simple gesture can and does speak volumes.
     I spent a number of years upset and frustrated about the things I saw people around me doing. I was often far too arrogant to see in myself the pride and self-centeredness which kept me from loving others as they wanted and needed to be loved. I now know that if someone or something is really bothering me, then it is often because there is a part of me that needs to change. Somewhere in me I’m holding on to some level of pride or self-righteousness, hurt, or insecurity that needs to be rooted out before I can be the vessel of love, healing, and Truth God calls us each to be.
     Sometimes it takes years to soften a heart to forgive when it has been deeply hurt. God never stops working on any of us. The people in each person’s life who are most open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, most honest and upfront about their own faults and struggles, and therefore most loving, compassionate, kind, and gentle with others are often those who have the greatest influence and impact in people’s lives.
     Of course there comes a time when you need to decide if you love the person enough to maintain some sort of relationship with them, even if they continue to make choices of which you disapprove. If your love for them is strong enough and truly Christ-like, then it will win out over your desire to change them in ways they might not be ready for, open to, or ways that might not even be in-line with the particular call they have received from the Lord.
     So often when I’ve felt that I just had to step in and tell someone else how they were messing up, I discovered the aspects of my life and personality which ought to be amended in similar ways. In some cases it’s been years later that God’s given me a deeper insight about a past experience that allows me to see someone more through the light of God’s unconditional love than I’d ever been able to before. I realize my heart and thinking needed to change.
     Personally, when faced with this type of experience while remaining focused on the Lord: I increase my efforts many times over in praying for the person. I am more willing to undergo any correction or suffering the Lord reveals is necessary in purifying me so that I might be a better vessel for His love and more open to the Holy Spirit when, how, and if the Lord wishes to use me in bringing about that person’s healing and deeper conversion.
     There have been several times in my life where this sort of humbling has been necessary before I was in a place of submission to the Lord’s will that made me open enough to do anything and everything that He asked of me to help heal the person who I thought so desperately needed to change. Many times it was through showing me the areas of pride and deceit, weakness and/or fear in me that needed to be addressed before I could be in a position spiritually and emotionally to inspire someone else to grow closer to the Lord.
     One of the biggest examples of loving people where they are, praying for them to grow closer to God, and being open to how I needed to change for this to happen in my life has been when I became best friends with and started dating the man who is now my husband. How very humbling it has been that I have learned so much about God’s love through him and other people who I once was so sure needed to change in so many ways.
     One catch-phrase that comes to mind is that: “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” As is most likely the case with everyone, I have people in my life who have made choices I am morally, ethically, and/or spiritually opposed to, but that doesn’t mean that I stop loving those people. I might need to put some distance between us if I’m not in a place either emotionally or spiritually where I can spend time with them without being critical or judgmental.
     Only if I have made it abundantly clear through my words, actions, and prayers that I genuinely love and care about people have I found that they are likely to be open to suggestions I might have about certain aspects of their lives. That doesn’t mean they will take them. That’s another important juncture when it’s time to make a decision I’ve found is best done through prayerful discernment. Sometimes God intends for us to be a positive influence in people’s lives who will draw them closer to Him. Other times our approach comes from a place of pride and judgment, instead of love and genuine concern, so our intervention of sorts isn’t likely to be well-received and could end up doing more harm than good.
     God is love, and all who dwell in love, dwell in God.

A Snow Angel to the Rescue & Related Life Lessons

“Don’t worry! I’m a professional snow technician!” the man in the movie theater parking lot announced to us when our car got stuck in the snow.
     I smiled, grateful that someone with such a confident, positive attitude had come forward to help us out of our predicament. My dad was frustrated that he’d gotten the car stuck. Being from upstate New York, he was very used to driving in snow. He was also used to living in a state where they own and operate many snow plows to clear roads and parking lots in a timely manner.

The Fulfillment of All Desire

     I would definitely put this on the list of the top ten books all Catholics should read! After having read many of the biographies and other books from which Ralph Martin takes lengthy excerpts, I got a lot from reading The Fulfillment of All Desire. It is a very well-written body of work that contains a beautiful synthesis of the spiritual wisdom from seven remarkable saints. Through an involved look at the different levels of spiritual growth leading to marital union with the Lord, Martin gives the reader valuable insights from the writings of seven doctors of the church: Augustine, Bernard of Clairvaux, Catherine of Siena, Teresa of Avila, John of the Cross, Francis de Sales, and Thérèse of Lisieux.
     Whether someone’s interested in reading the major teachings of some well-known saints for the first time or would like to refresh the memory of what he or she has read over the years, this book is a good choice. I found it very helpful to have so many of the parallels drawn between the various works and teachings of these saints. In addition to giving an overview of the lives of each of these saints, the author provides us with deep insights about the spiritual enlightenment and growth each of these individuals underwent. By guiding the reader through how each of the above mentioned saints dealt with sin, prayer, temptation, spiritual growth, suffering, purification, and a growing love for the Lord and His people, we see many similarities. Of course, each person exhibits a firmer resolve in doing the Lord’s will even as they go through quite a bit of suffering in mind, body, and spirit.
     All of them through their lives, examples, and writing show how important the purification part of growing closer to God is. Each of the seven were challenged again and again to let go of pride and their own wills, so the Lord could be free to work in and through them. Martin does a terrific job of letting each person’s unique personality and temperament shine through by selecting excerpts from their works instead of just paraphrasing the main ideas. This makes the book seem much more like a compilation of wisdom directly from the saints than a watered-down attempt at synthesizing the various books they’ve produced about their lives.
     I highly recommend this book. There are quite a few gems, so you’ll likely want to take your time with it, refer back to it as a reference, and pick out your wish list titles from among the many works cited throughout the book.
     You can purchase this book here.  I wrote this review of The Fulfillment of All Desire for the Tiber River Blogger Review program.  Tiber River is the first Catholic book review site, started in 2000 to help you make informed decisions about Catholic book purchases. I receive free product samples as compensation for writing reviews for Tiber River.

The Fulfillment of All Desire Study Guide

     There is a wealth of material covered in the tome called The Fulfillment of All Desire, so the Study Guide is a very useful tool to get the most out of this book. There is a summary of each chapter followed by a list of Questions for Comprehension. Since Ralph Martin uses such a variety of sources and covers such topics as heaven, hell, temptation, sin, suffering, purification, as well as the main biographical information about these seven doctors of the Church, it is helpful to have questions to help the reader pick out the focal points.

Waiting Joyfully and Hopefully

     Yesterday Kevin and I were running from one thing to the next from 3:30 until 7:30pm. Our first activity ran really late, so we stopped for dinner and missed the beginning of the Advent concert at our church. We slipped in, got to hear several songs sung by kids, teens, and adults, then we slipped back out before the final song, so we could drive to another church where the Cursillo Ultreya was being held.