7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 130) Storytelling, Silly Songs, & the Cookie Caper Question

-1-

Grace is…a delicious Thanksgiving feast shared with family, having my youngest sister home even for a brief visit, Mom’s homemade apple pie, wanting to be a better servant of the Lord, working at being more Christ-like by doing small things with great love, genuine encouragement and inspiration from those who love you, the sense to stay in on Black Friday, playing with your youngest nephew, the vulnerability it takes to be honest in kind and gentle ways…

-2-

Thanksgiving Across the Years This Thanksgiving was a really nice one for Kevin and me.  We began the day by going to Mass to celebrate the ultimate feast, the Eucharist (the word literally means “thanksgiving”).  Later we headed over to my sister and brother-in-law’s house for the family meal and visiting.  The food was delicious and the quality time together very enjoyable!  To read about some of our past Thanksgiving adventures, mishaps, and traditions, click here.     

-3-

It’s Your Fault! Yesterday, my sister and I broke into a song about rubber duckies that my mom used to sing to us when we were little.  My other sister and my mom looked at each other and made faces at us.  I elbowed my mom, and informed her: “It’s your fault!”  And really it is.  She’s the one who stayed home with us when we were little and sang to us, danced with us, read to us, played with us, and inspired a love for little people that she passed on to each one of us.  

     The song my sister and I were singing is from Sesame Street.  You might recognize it.

-4-

10 Facts about Advent I happened upon this article the other day, and it’s a great starting point for remembering what Advent is about.  Here’s a hint: it has nothing at all to do with the craziness of Black Friday, but is an important precursor to Christmas and the prelude to Good Friday.  The actual Advent wreath that Kevin and I have and will be putting out this weekend is a very special one that was made by a friend of ours who is hardcore about spreading hope.   

-5-

Run that by me again! Sunshine has a very active imagination.  Sometimes, I’m not sure right away if she’s telling me about something that has actually happened or if it’s another one of her pretend stories.  Either way, I try to listen closely and follow along.  Not too long ago, she told me that her grandma and grandpa don’t like rabbits, so she doesn’t either.  I had no way of verifying that, but since her grandparents do have a farm, I deduced it was at least possible.  This week, she was a good two minutes into her story before I figured out that we were in a real world with real people fairy tale.  What tipped me off?  Suddenly she was the one driving mommy and daddy’s van to go find her mom, who had left her at school while she went to Walmart.    

-6-

Last Night Kids concept of time is amusing.  Lately, Sunshine typically begins and/or ends each of her stories with “last night.”  This has occasionally helped me in the department of distinguishing fact from fiction, though, with her it can be a very convincing mix of the two.  Knowing that her parents had trouble with the minivan’s alarm going off by itself, I was incredibly impressed when in subsequent weeks, she spun a very animated, action-packed, high adrenalin story about a school bus needing to be fixed and babies crying because of a loud alarm that went off when a battery died.  Kevin was visiting us at the time and got to witness this based on a real life event story, and we were both amused and awed.  Just remember, your children are always recording audio and video whether you want them to or not.

-7-

The Cookie Caper Question I have a tendency to take things personally and assume that people think the worst of me.  Here’s a hypothetical situation that closely resembles my line of thinking: If Kevin were to ask me why cookies were being stolen from the cookie jar in a household of three or more individuals all capable of reaching the container, I would typically assume that he was informing me of a problem while at the same time accusing me of stealing the cookies and/or blaming me for not having a better system for keeping track of the baked goods in question even if this wasn’t at all his intent or line of thinking.  (Truth be told, I do find it very difficult to resist the urge to consume baked goodies when they are left out or easily accessible.) 

     Like most people, I prefer to be informed of a problem and asked questions rather than immediately accused of being the culprit when I’m just as likely a suspect as the next person.  If the cookies have some type of chocolate in them, it might be most efficient and also highly likely to assume that I have been one of the people responsible for the disappearance and consumption of some of the cookies.  Though it would be unfair and presumptuous to believe that I am the only guilty party involved in the case of the missing cookies, it isn’t unjust, given my appreciation for goodies, to think that I’m among the likely suspects…

     I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and that you are willing to share your holiday baked goods with whoever comes to call this Advent and Christmas.                  

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary. 

A Letter to Parents (My Nanny Diary)

Dear Mom and Dad,

If you think that no one other than the two of you will ever love your child and care for him as much as you do, except for God, you’re probably right.  Your child will always have a very special bond with you two, and your love is deeper, wider, and stronger for him than other people’s, and that isn’t likely to change, nor should it. 

From what I’ve read, heard, and observed, it’s perfectly normal to wonder if a child would be just as trusting, content, and relaxed to have pretty much anyone feed, burp, change, wash, clothe, hold, play with, read to, supervise, entertain…him.  The truth is their sense of trust, security, and love comes initially from the two of you.  Even when you are five kinds of tired and doing things only other parents or caregivers as sleep-deprived as you are would come up with, your child knows you love him, will take care of his basic needs, and not give up on him no matter how difficult he can be at times

The Lord chose you out of all of eternity to take care of this little one in body, mind, and soul.  The connection between parents and their children is much stronger than many realize.  I’ve had a number of parents, both mothers and fathers, make comments to me that indicate they feel their child is some sort of “traitor” when he warms up to me and seems comfortable with me taking care of him.  Actually “traitor” was the exact word one mother used when she came home on her lunch break the first day her son was in my care to check in and make sure everything was going well.  He was perfectly content, and she felt a little slighted as well as relieved and grateful.    

Another important aspect of life that children learn from very early on is that Mom and Dad show them who they can trust.  Part of your responsibility is to ensure that your child is always in reliable, competent care when one or both of you aren’t present.  You are your child’s most important, influential, and trusted teachers.  That’s not to say your child won’t challenge you frequently, but he knows that the bottom-line is that you’re the one who will appear in the middle of the night when he’s thirsty, hungry, teething, cold, having a nightmare...     

 

I don’t know what it feels like from your perspective to have a child you have sacrificed everything for run up and give someone not even related to you hugs and kisses, but I imagine it would make me feel envious and wonder where I rate if I were in your position.  If ever you feel a twinge of sadness, jealousy, or regret when your child runs up to someone else, remember that your child is able to love because God and the two of you loved him first and taught him how to trust by being trustworthy.    

The best performance review I’ve ever received from a parent is that they can tell I love their child “almost as much as they do.”  When one father said that, I knew he could understand how I feel and where I'm coming from.  Though I have loved each child for whom I have nannied as much as I possibly feel I am capable of love, I know that their parents love them even more, and I rejoice that’s the case. 

You’re right in thinking you’ll never find a babysitter or caregiver who loves your child as much as you do.  However, it is quite possible and very probable, that with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, you will find someone who really loves and adores your child and will give him the best care they know how while you two are at work.  It may mean searching a bit harder, interviewing more candidates, and/or training someone who has the potential to be a good fit, but it can be done.  It is possible to find quality child care you can trust and depend on to love and keep up with your little one. 

 

People have billions of ideas about what’s best for kids, but what they need most is to feel loved, safe, and have their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs met.  God always intends for there to be people in addition to the mother and father to love a child, care for and about him, and lend support and encouragement.  They aren’t kidding about it taking a village to raise a child.  Don’t be afraid of letting other people love your child dearly.  When it comes to the top spots in the child’s heart, you’ve got them.  Just like it says in Mary Poppins once she’s interviewed, “The position has been filled.” 

No matter what child care situation you discern is right for your family, your child will always have the strongest bond with the two of you, his mom and dad.

Sincerely,

Your Nanny

Thanksgiving Across the Years

As Thanksgiving’s drawn closer and arrived, I’ve been bracing myself for this year’s festivities and thinking of celebrations in years past.

Southern Hospitality

When my sister Mary and I were little, our family would drive from Rowlett, Texas to Houston to have a feast with my dad’s brother Rich, our aunt Linda, and our cousins. The house was full of people and food, talking, playing, and laughing.  These are the earliest memories I have of huge family gatherings at holiday time.

Travel Troubles: Black Ice & A Potty Chair

I can remember one year when we drove up to Vestal, New York to spend Thanksgiving with my dad’s brother Dave, Aunt Florence, and our cousins: Eric and Annelisa. We were stuck on the highway for hours when a tractor-trailer jack-knifed when it hit black ice. It was literally a parking lot. People turned their cars off and got out. Those in RVs started offering people coffee and things. After a while, several people could be seen walking up to the woods to go to the bathroom. I really had to go, but I wasn’t about to walk up the snowy hill and pop a squat in some random woods. As luck would have it, we drove two cars up, and since Theresa was just a toddler and in the process of potty training, we had her little potty chair.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. I made everyone else get in one car while my mom helped me put up clothes and things, so no one could see in the windows. Everyone thought it was hilarious that I used Theresa’s little potty chair. It’s a good thing I went when I did, because when we got to the next rest stop the lines at every bathroom, especially the ladies’ rooms, were out the door, down the hall, and around the outside of the building. The traffic was so bad, we ended up having to turn around and spend the night at a hotel in Pennsylvania, then make the rest of the trip in the morning. We enjoyed our time with family and the food was delicious once we finally got to their house.

Evidence of Grandma's Love

A couple years we had my aunt Carol and cousins come to our house for Thanksgiving. We kept up the family tradition of playing lots of card games, many of which our grandmother taught us. One year in particular, we had a great time sliding across the kitchen and dining room into walls, furniture, and each other wearing the pairs of slippers Grandma had knit each of us.  (I once attempted to knit a pair of slippers under my grandmother's tutelage.  One came out fine, and the other looked more pointy, like an elf shoe.)  I know one of my sisters still has a pair of slippers my grandma knit her.  I also have a pair left of the ones she made with a blend of her favorite colors in one yarn: turquoise, orange, and brown.

Americans in Paris

The farthest I’ve ever been away from home at Thanksgiving was my junior year of college when I was studying abroad in Paris. It felt so strange to be in a city that knew nothing of the fanfare and food we have here. We Americans in Paris celebrated the holiday together at a restaurant. The director of the Hollins Abroad Program in Paris and one of our professors joined us at a very large table for a big meal that somewhat resembled traditional Thanksgiving fare. Celebrating an American holiday in a big group at a French restaurant felt a bit surreal, but it was fun.

Just Add Another Table

Starting when I was in high school, my mom’s best friend Renee and her family invited us over for their Thanksgiving feasts for several years in a row. We loved being included in their large gathering of family, friends, food, and football. We enjoyed lots of laughter and a variety of dishes ranging from the traditional to the more experimental, though yummy nonetheless. One year, my sister Mary and now brother-in-law Jordan announced their engagement at the much-loved Thanksgiving feast.
  
More recently, my mom’s brother Rob, our aunt, and our cousins have come to my mom’s house for Thanksgiving. In addition to tons of food, we honored our family roots and played lots of card games: Spoons (which got rather intense and even somewhat physical at times), Quibbler, Apples to Apples, etc.

Who Isn't Here This Year?

In 2009, we had our Thanksgiving feast at my mom’s house. I’d been bracing myself for the event, not just because of our occasional holiday mishaps, but because that would be our first major holiday since my dad passed. I know he was there with us. I know we all were missing him. At least that year, he no longer had to worry about how long his oxygen tank would last, if his back will hold up, and/or if he’d feel well enough to join us.

Friends Early Thanksgiving Feast 

A couple Kevin and I are friends with began a tradition a while back of having a couple family members and a number of friends, who have become a second family, over for a full-scale Thanksgiving feast at their place.  Kevin and I enjoyed this fabulous tradition again this year.  We knew we would since it's always been a blast in years’ past.  Good food, good friends, great memories, abundant blessings: who could ask for anything more?  Of course last Saturday afternoon, I forgot to bring the only thing that could possibly have added to the amazing spread and beautiful decorating-my camera to capture it all digitally.  Ah well, we got a couple shots with a 5-megapixel camera.

Here and Now

This will be our first Thanksgiving since my maternal grandmother passed away.  A number of our family and friends have also lost loved ones this past year, and will, no doubt, be thinking of who was there last year who is only there in spirit this November.

Last year we gathered at my sister and brother-in-law's home for Thanksgiving.  The plans are the same for this year, especially since their son is very active, mobile, and very intelligent (curious & into everything)!  My mom's in charge of the turkey and her delectable homemade apple pie this year.  Kevin and I are bringing the green bean casserole and the crescent rolls.

I'm looking forward to seeing my youngest sister who is home for a very short time before heading to Zambia and Zimbabwe for the month of December.  For the first time in the history of our family, we are going to be decorating the family Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving.    

Normally, I would be opposed to decorating the Christmas tree so early, even before the first Sunday of Advent, but I'm willing to bend our hard-won traditions so that all of us are present for the trimming of the tree, though only a few of us ever seem to put the decorations on it.  (It's an artificial tree, and here's why it's got to be.)

Blessings

I wish you and your loved ones a very Happy Thanksgiving! Please say an extra prayer for those who are suffering in mind, body, and/or spirit this holiday season and for the many people who are missing someone dear to them.

Lord, thank You for the abundant blessings You give each of us. Thank you for the gifts of faith, family, friends, food, love, laughter, peace, and joy! Amen.

Why Can’t You Just Be Grateful?

That’s a very good question!  One I have struggled with quite a bit.  When someone (usually my husband) asks me this very same thing, I feel even more overwhelmed, frustrated, and discouraged that I can never seem to just do it: be grateful without any other sentiments muddying the waters. 

  
Kevin has developed an uncanny ability to speak out loud what I most fear and am worried about. When he does this, I often feel that he’s also asking what’s wrong with you and why can’t you figure this thing out.  Part of the issue is that I have a tendency to think others are upset with me and/or blaming me for whatever problems exist even when they are simply stating the issue or conflict is there. 

  
As you can imagine, my response to Kevin pinpointing what’s bothering me and even the implications of inquiring as to why I haven’t made sense of it, yet, more often makes me exasperated than grateful that someone gets what I’m fretting over.    

So Many Blessings

I know I have a number of blessings for which to be grateful.  I think of them and thank God for them regularly.  I’m usually pretty good about saying thank you to people.  For example, I always thank Kevin each and every time he does the grocery shopping, makes dinner, does the laundry, washes the dishes, or does any of the daily grind sorts of tasks.  He thanks me each time for taking care of the same sort of necessary chores. 

 
A while ago I wrote a post called Cop an Attitude of Gratitude because appreciation is so important and powerful.  When I hear, see, and read about the devastation in the Philippines and/or the poverty nearby, I feel embarrassed that I am ever anything but grateful.  The question returns to me time and again: why can’t you just be grateful for having clean water, food, shelter, clothes, people who love you and whom you love, faith in God, and a desire to do His Will…?  There’s a part of me that says if I feel any longing, sense of something missing, sorrow or loss, that I’m being an ungrateful wretch when I have so much that others are literally dying because they’re without.

Running on Empty

I’m reminded of the last few years of my dad’s life, when his health declined rapidly.  Suddenly, he needed help with things.  It got to the point at which it was too exhausting for him to do his own grocery shopping, so I’d usually take care of it.  Just walking around his little apartment, he’d get out of breath, though, he wore oxygen all the time. 

Sometimes when I’d come home feeling tired after running errands for him, I felt guilty.  I wanted to feel only privileged and grateful to have that time with him and be able to do things for him he could no longer take care of himself, but I couldn’t always manage to keep that attitude of gratitude.

  
When worn down and exhausted from other things Kevin and I were dealing with in addition to having two family members in hospice at the same time, I would get bogged down by all that I wasn’t doing or ways I was lacking.  It’s so easy to focus on the negatives when fatigue sets in.  Other days, I would rejoice and be glad for blessings I had often taken for granted: the ability to breathe without difficulty, to walk, run errands, help those suffering to smile and laugh, and affirm the Presence of God in others.

We're Only Human

Maybe it just means that we’re still human when we feel hurt, pain, and sorrow mixed in with our gratitude and/or perhaps it indicates that we aren’t as close to the Lord as we could be.  I don’t know.  I know some very strong, courageous, grateful people who have felt discouraged, downtrodden, and frustrated.  What if it’s not an either/or but a both/and?   We can be both grateful for what we do have and still have a tug in our heart for an area of our lives that is missing, lost, or painful. 

  
Longings and hopes can often be part of God nudging us towards other blessings He wants to give us or make more obvious in our lives.  It actually makes sense that we continue to want more in this life, because we aren’t really whole and one with God until we enter into eternal life.  There’s a big difference between greed and an awareness from the Holy Spirit of an area in our lives where we aren’t fulfilled.  Part of gratitude, I believe, is being generous with what we have.  No matter what happens, we always have something to offer others, even when we feel that we are at our lowest and most useless.  Fortunately, God can and often does work in and through people who are certain they have nothing left to give. 

Thank God in Advance

A dear family friend of ours from Kenya who came here with her children many years ago is one person who really impressed upon me the importance of thanking God in advance for what we have asked Him to do in our lives. 

I admire a faith so strong and sure of the Lord it hopes when it seems all reason for hope has gone.  I still marvel at the ways the Lord has walked in and through this powerful prayer warrior to demonstrate that hope in Jesus Christ is never a mistake.  Nothing is impossible with God.  Nothing at all.

     
In the midst of the deepest desires and most fervent longings God places on our hearts and guides us to work and hope for, we can be grateful for the prayers, blessings, and graces He gives us this day.  Though knowing we are lacking, we can share what we do have with open arms and hearts, confident that the Lord loves and rewards a cheerful giver.

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 129) about Singing, Dancing, Training, Laughing

 

-1-

Grace is…getting a short nap when you’re beyond ready to collapse, a glimmer of hope in the midst of innumerable struggles, God putting people on our hearts and minds who need our prayers, people with whom we can be completely honest and vulnerable, reconnecting with friends you don’t get to see often, having a child bring you a book to read them, being reminded of the place in your heart that suffers when those you love are suffering, the gift of laughter, the undeniable cuteness and joy of little ones…  

-2-

Gotta Sing and Dance I was raised with a love for books of all sorts, Broadway musicals, and Disney movies among other things.  I have shared my passion for books and musicals with the children for whom I have nannied and worked with over the years.  My mom, sisters, and I have been known to break into song at family meals and gatherings, and I regularly burst into songs from Singin’ in the Rain, The Sound of Music, White Christmas, Mary Poppins, The Music Man...when taking care of little ones.  Of course, I also sing them the usual ABCs, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, London Bridge is Falling Down, If You’re Happy and You Know It, She’ll be Coming Round the Mountain, I’ve been working on the railroad, but I also enjoy spicing things up a bit with some lesser-known oldies but goodies.     

-3-

The Music Man Over the past couple weeks after Kevin and I watched one of the movies I know by heart from my childhood, I was inspired to introduce another couple songs to the repertory of Broadway musical classics that I sing and dance to at times while nannying.  The girls have really enjoyed the opening scene from the original The Music Man movie.  This has been the favorite and most requested Youtube clip this week (at least in the department of musicals):

    

-4-

Hit by a Train The other day it happened to me again, I was hit by a train.  It was a small child’s toy train, but I still got hit by it.  When Kevin and I were dating, he took me to a model train store and was showing me how detailed some of the to-scale models are.  I was holding one box up and examining the locomotive inside, admiring the intricacy of the windows, seats, etc., and tilted the box a little too far.  The black engine thumped onto my chest.  I turned to Kevin with a look of mock horror, and said, “I’ve been hit by a train!”       

-5-

Keep It Simple I’ll set up a lay-out of train tracks, and one of the girls tries to attach all of the trains to each other and not let her sisters have any to play with.  Another will make it her mission to destroy whatever train tracks are connected, especially if they happen to be held up or supported by Duplos.  The third cutie has cracked me up this week by taking one piece of track less than a foot long and one train and running the train back and forth along that little bit of track.  It’s portable, cannot be disassembled, and doesn’t draw nearly as much attention or interference as other attempts to play trains.  You go girl!    

-6-

When Words Aren’t Enough Over the past couple weeks, I have had people share with me a number of serious situations for which they want and need prayer.  Regardless of how tired I have been, God has granted me the grace to listen and be present when possible, and to lift up all of those who are suffering and caring for them in prayer.  I’m encouraged to know that there are people who pray for Kevin and me daily.  Just so you know, I am always honored when people ask me to pray for them or for their loved ones.  Prayer requests are always welcome!   
    

-7-

A Fabulous Tradition A couple who we are good friends with has made it a tradition each year to invite a group of friends and/or family members over for an early Thanksgiving feast at their place.  Kevin and I are looking forward to this get-together quite a bit after having a blast in years’ past.  Good food, good friends, great memories, abundant blessings, who could ask for anything more?

                  

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.  

Screening & Selecting a Child Care Provider (My Nanny Diary)

Do you know the most important questions to ask when interviewing a person whom you’re considering leaving alone with your children for hours at a time? 

  
If not, you're not alone.  Most parents don't know all the pertinent things to ask and look for when selecting the right child care scenario for their family.  Fortunately, there are many resources available to help you.  

 
Below are links to some articles I’ve found that have a good set of pertinent questions to ask when interviewing the person who will be responsible for your child’s health, safety, and well-being while you are at work.  Each list is specific to the type of child care scenario sought after, so some of the questions overlap.   

An Extensive List of Pertinent Interview Questions for Finding the Best Nanny for Your Family

A good list of questions for interviewing a Child Care Provider 

In-Home Child Care Provider questionnaire and checklist

How to Interview a Daycare Provider

A variety of nanny agencies have done well because for a fee, they will take care of the criminal and personal background checks, references, pull up DMV records, and have the individual applying to be a nanny fill out a sea of paperwork indicating her (or his) experience with children, early child development training, her preferred work environment, what licensing and training she has in CPR, First Aid, Medication Administration Training…so parents don't have to do that part of the search.  (I say she, because the vast number of nannies I know are female, but I know there are some males who have also stepped up to the plate to devote themselves to providing excellent child care.)

  
The first two nanny positions I found out of college were through a local Christian nanny agency that took care of screening applicants and then passing a brief summary of their info and qualifications along to families in their database looking for an independent child care professional.  From there on out, it was up to me to decide with and for whom I wanted to work, the number of hours per week, terms, conditions, fees, etc. of the contract we agreed upon. 

  
I was impressed by how thorough the questioning, scanning, and screening process was on the agency’s side.  As I believe should be the case, those at the agency and the parents who hired them knew enough about how important it is to hire someone who is reliable, responsible, capable, hard-working, experienced with children and infant development, and basic safety that they wanted to make sure they asked the right questions and got the necessary answers. 

  
Of course, not every family can afford to pay a fee so someone else will do the proper screening and background checks, so that is often something that falls on the parents to take care of as part of their interviewing process.

The above links can help get you going in the right direction and may very well bring up some issues and concerns that might not have occurred to you.  Also, talking with friends who have found child care they're happy with and networking with other parents in your area can help you narrow down what it is that you're looking for and may help you figure out the best way of finding that person.

In a blog post that will appear in May 2016, I will explain and give links to specific agencies and websites that will tell you how child care providers in your area rate in terms of safety and quality of services provided.

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 128) about inspiration, making a difference, and persevering

-1-

Grace is…believing you’re loved even when you can’t feel it, knowing that living out our vocations requires ongoing discernment and sacrifice, people recognizing and affirming those who have spent time away from the workplace to take care of family and friends at home, the acknowledgement of anyone that raising a family is the most challenging and important job there is for married couples and parents, learning about inspiring people who use their talents to serve others, being able to pray for and with others…

-2-

What’s a Life Worth? Late last night, I finished reading the amazing Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder.  The book is about a remarkable man, Dr. Paul Farmer, whose passion for treating people in poverty (starting with those he served in Haiti) with the utmost dignity, respect, and the best medical technologies available literally impacted and dramatically improved treatment of infectious diseases such as tuberculosis and HIV/AIDS in poor countries around the world. 

     "...the idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that's wrong with the world" is the essence of Dr. Paul Farmer’s philosophy.  I know a book is very well-written when, though it’s about a topic as depressing as rampant illness affecting the poorest of the poor, I’m left feeling hopeful, inspired, and completely in awe of what happens when one man insists and believes that every life is of incalculable value; every person is worth treating; and every individual deserves the best we have to give, whatever the cost to ourselves or others.  

.   God did it again.  I was led to read this book at the perfect time. The pastor of our church and a group of parishioners are on yet another mission trip in Haiti this week, visiting our twin parish in Dos Palais, which is supposed to be opening a medical clinic soon.  

-3-

Noisy Toys After a three day weekend, suddenly a vast number of battery-operated 'noisy toys' no longer make sounds. When Sunshine told me all of the batteries just ran down, I rolled with it, and told her if they were taken out and not replaced it must have been for a good reason.  My guess is that their parents, like any adults who have a reasonable amount of sanity somewhere on their top ten list of most important attributes of a caregiver, can only take but so much of Rock'n'Roll Elmo, an endless loop of "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider," and toys that add more sound effects that make it seem like their children are actually being raised in a barn. 

     I recall quite clearly a few toys that the boys loved to play with that would “disappear” at random intervals when I deemed my sanity more important than their need to press the fire engine’s siren another bazillion times.  I found it particularly taxing when the battery was about to run out on the sea-themed exersaucer activity center.  One of the boys picked up on how much it annoyed me to hear a painfully slow, scratchy version of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” that was the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard for me.  Kid was smart.  When he was upset with me for failing to concede in any way, shape, or form that only the exersaucer, not the entire universe revolved around him, he would purposely press the star and watch me cringe.  
     You will never convince me that kids aren’t clever enough to torture their parents and caregivers on purpose from a surprisingly young age. I know better.

-4-

Calling for Back-up The other day was a 3+ time-outs, not enough sleep (them or me), and call for at least one of our favorite visitors kind of nannying day.  I feared that after five hours of feeding, cleaning up after, playing with, and refereeing three young girls in a limited space I was likely to run completely out of energy and patience sometime in the remaining four and a half hours before their mom would get home from work. 

Cuties with Contraband

     I’m sure it would have helped somewhat for at least a while if we could have gotten outside, but it’s been a couple weeks since I have been able to locate shoes that fit two of them (over socks) which I consider mandatory, not optional when playing outside, especially when the temperature is under 70.  I also hesitate to do much outdoors when the oldest is racking up time-outs, because I can’t trust that we’d get too far on a walk or other outdoor activity before a total and complete meltdown would make it necessary for me to get all three of them inside.        
     Fortunately, Kevin came over late that afternoon in case there was a repeat after naps (theirs, not mine) of I-want-whatever-you’re-playing-with-when-you’re-playing-with-it-and-I’m-going-to-grab-it-from-you-and-knock-you-over-to-get-it Advanced Pre-school Aerobics/Kung Fu Class. 
     The girls only napped for an hour, so it was even more vital that I had back-up on the way.  Kevin and I had the girls running, playing, giggling, and in much better moods than any of us were in that morning. Thank God Almighty for the gift of my husband, and I do!  To read about more of my adventures as a nanny, check out posts from My Nanny Diary.

    

-5-

JAM Session Highlights Our parish has a really great, very successful ecumenical Job Assistance Ministry (JAM) which has helped hundreds of people in our area find employment.  Kevin’s been going to the meetings regularly as he searches for a new job.  The numerous professionals and business people involved offer a wide variety of career services for free that other recruiters and job search agencies charge hundreds of dollars to do.  Check out the ministry website, activities, and successes here. 

-6-

My Guy Gets It This past Wednesday at JAM, the speaker was swamped with questions after his
presentation, so Kevin took it upon himself to approach a woman wondering what to put on her resume since he has spent several hours working, revising, and rewriting his with the recent tips, tricks, and trends he’s learned.  Kevin’s a friendly, helpful guy, so this gesture didn’t surprise me.  What I was really excited to hear is that he reassured this woman, who has gone 17 years without a paying job, that raising a family is the hardest and most important job anyone can do and made it abundantly clear to her that she must have a number of marketable skills from such a feat that will translate into the work world.  While they were talking, another woman came up who’s been out of the workforce for 21 years raising her family.  I am beyond grateful that my husband gets what so many men and women don’t: there’s nothing more challenging or more essential than raising a family, and those who devote their time and energy to that are generally hardworking, very talented individuals who deserve respect. 
    

-7-

Hope and Help for the Philippines This is a very good article on what has happened in the Philippines and what is being done to help the many victims of Super Typhoon Haiyan.  There are links in the article of what organizations are already in place to help and how you can donate to the effort.    

     Lord, please open our hearts and minds to do and be what you need us to in order to alleviate the suffering that is taking place in the Philippines right now. 

                  

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

God's Bucket List: Heaven's Surefire Way to Happiness in This Life and Beyond

God has a sense of humor.  I’m sure of it, and He likes to remind me of that frequently along with the facts that His timing is better than mine and His thoughts are far greater than mine, and so on and so forth.

Again only the Holy Spirit could have orchestrated when and how I’d come to read a book called God’s Bucket List: Heaven’s Surefire Way to Happiness in This Life and Beyond.  All of this review/reflection I wrote on my most recent birthday.  I haven’t looked forward to my birthday in a while to be perfectly honest, which is one of the many reasons why I found it fitting that I finished reading this book and thought about my bucket list versus God’s over the years.

I was really looking forward to turning 18 way back when, not so much because I’d be a legal adult, get to vote, and all that, but mainly because my mom had decided that was the magic age when I could decide for myself if I wanted to be best friends with Kevin or officially start dating him.  I wanted it all, so that’s what I got.

The idea that we’re best off determining how and with whom we spend our time, energy, talents, and treasure by putting God first in our lives makes sense to me.  I do find it far more difficult to live out when the daily grind turns out a little bitter and isn’t the least bit refined.

In God’s Bucket List, popular EWTN TV and radio personality Teresa Tomeo shares some of the major upsets in her career as a high-profile secular journalist.  What at the time was a devastating blow to her ego, helped ultimately save her marriage, reignite her faith, and give her a clearer purpose in life.

My husband’s been out of work since Labor Day, and we have a lot of decisions to make and things to discern right now, so being reminded that God “works all things for good for those who love Him” is a reassurance we’ve needed these past couple months. 

As the title suggests, Tomeo was inspired by the Bucket List film to write a book outlining eight themes to help you in discerning and carrying out what God would most like you to accomplish before you die.  This concept resonates deeply with me since it is one that shows that God’s way is the best way, though rarely the easiest way, and His Will is the best goal to have.

Since I’ve kept all of my regular journals and prayer journals from over the years I suppose I could eventually find the first entry where God inspired me to write and pray these prayers: “You, Lord, are ALL I have, and You give me ALL I need.  My future is in Your Hands.  Lord, I pray for Your Will.” And  another favorite: “Lord, plant Your Will in my heart and make it my deepest desire and most fervent longing.”

I felt this way long before meeting Kevin, which has made for some really major conflicts between us.  Item number one that is on God’s Bucket List for me is to put Him first, before everyone and everything else in my life.  I believe that’s likely the first item on God’s Bucket List for each of us, though, the way He calls us to live out that vocation can vary greatly from one person to the next.

Trouble was, when Kevin and I fell in love, he wanted to be first on my list and made me first on his, but I wanted, through the grace and inspiration of the Holy Spirit, to keep that #1 spot for God.  That’s not to say I’ve ever been successful in keeping the Lord at the center of my life and at the top of all of my lists.

Kevin had long since fallen away from the Catholic faith in which he was raised by the time we met when I was sixteen.  For many years (and often even now), he can’t for the life of him figure out my relationship with the Lord.  When we were just friends, it didn’t seem to matter as much, but once we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend, we were both uncomfortable with his lack of faith and misconceptions of the Catholic Church.

This conflict and a myriad of others brought me to my knees in prayer, trying to determine the answer to a question beautifully phrased by St. Teresa of Avila in a poem she wrote called “In the Hands of God.”  The question she asks repeatedly in the poem is: “What do You want of me?”  For a time, I was seriously discerning a call to the consecrated religious life, though I’d already fallen in love with Kevin.

That proved to be one of the times when I chose God’s Bucket List, whatever it contained for me, rather than my own numeration of goals far less important in the grand scheme of things in time and eternity.

I am still in the process of discerning aspects of everything that is on God’s Bucket List for me, and that will likely always be the case in this life, but I’ve been able to identify some of what’s on His List.  I’ve embraced the vocations He’s already revealed are mine, and I try to live out those to the fullest while remaining hopeful that some additional ones will be added in the future.

One item I believe is on God’s Bucket List for me has to do with sharing the unusual, often hilarious, at times nearly unbelievable story of how God brought two very different people together and kept them together against the odds.  I have been working on our spiritual memoir for a while, and both Kevin and I have felt another nudge from God recently to keep writing the parts of our story leading up to our wedding.

I’m awaiting further specific instructions from the Lord about the timing of finishing this particular writing project and all aspects of the endeavor involving finding the right agent, editor, publishing company and team.  If you are feeling inspired to be part of this effort, like reading and giving people brutally honest feedback, and/or enjoy a good true story, please let me know immediately.  God already knows that I can use all the help I can get!

I highly recommend reading God’s Bucket List and using it as the jumping off point for discerning what He wants you to have in your bucket.  For more information or to order your own copy of this book, click here.  I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.  

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 127) LOL, Socks, Glory Bees, & Other Occasions for Laughter

-1-

Grace is…the joy of being creative just for fun, extra hugs and kisses, appreciating the amazing ability of young children to learn and apply far more than we realize or intend, the beauty of red, orange, and yellow autumn leaves, incidents that couldn’t be explained any other way than that the Holy Spirit is involved, finding out about how others are living out their unique call to serve the Lord in courageous and inspiring ways…

-2-

On the Wings of Glory Bees In memory and honor of Michele Morris and because I could feel that her prayers were with me on Monday when I gave a talk to the Women in God’s Spirit (WINGS) group at Church of the Epiphany, I wore the black and gold striped "glory bee" knee socks she bought me just days before she entered the Sisters by the Sea cloistered Carmelite monastery in Carmel, California.  No one could see them because of the boots I was wearing, but I knew they were there, and they made me smile.  Click here to read about how Michele and I developed a fascination with glory bees inspired by a novena to St. Thérѐse. 

-3-

Technology & the New Evangelization I’m now better able to appreciate how amusing it was that no member of the WINGS group present when I arrived early knew how to do the TV/computer set-up in the room we used.  Fortunately, someone in the church office got it working, so I could use the PowerPoint I’d spent hours working on over the weekend.  At the time, I was rather stressed that I’d be giving a talk about technology without using any evidence or aspects of it other than the microphone and sound system (which a WINGS member hooked up without assistance).

Above is a PowerPoint slide that appeared in my talk, and below is an excerpt from my talk: Each of us has a unique story, a special relationship with God that others can and want to learn from.  There are many ways we can share what God has done in our lives and point out to others what we can see Him doing in, through, and around them.  When it comes right down to it, the most important aspects of life we can share with others are those that stem from a close relationship with Jesus Christ.  Participation in the Sacraments and how we live our lives are two of the most essential, powerful witnesses to God’s unconditional love, mercy, compassion, forgiveness, peace, joy, and hope in our world.  Because of technology and our ever-changing world, many people are seeking Truth, looking for answers, and learning about faith in new ways.  To read more of my talk How Faith, Technology & You Can Be Part of the New Evangelization, click here.
 

-4-

Kids Say & Do the Darnedest Things Kevin laughs at me when he offers me something, and I say: "I'm good for now, thanks," because he's heard Sunshine say the exact same thing in similar situations. Another thing she's picked up is something she hears me say numerous times a day: "You're perfectly capable of..." The other morning as I was bringing her downstairs, she informed me: "My daddy is perfectly capable of getting me a bowl of cereal." I smiled and agreed: "That's true." 

   
Reminder to parents, teachers, and caregivers: Just because a child comes up with a variety of appropriate uses for a phrase and/or idea he or she learns does not mean someone else gave them those specific combinations.  Here’s another great example of this I guarantee will crack you up: Public Radio Reporter Interviews His Two Little Girls After Ones Gives the Other the ‘Worst Haircut Ever.’

-5-

Grad School Barbie I was laughing hysterically reading this mock ad for Grad School Barbie, though some of it is frighteningly accurate for some people.  Kevin and I are far enough removed from when I was getting my masters that we can both appreciate the humor of this.  I think most of my friends who have gotten their Masters and the many who have gone on for a PhD are probably at the point at which they will find this funny, not nightmarish.      

-6-

A Word about Your Grammar I have a great deal to say on this topic and some absolutely hilarious examples of what happens when people publish books, magazines, newspapers, etc. without employing a competent copy editor to review the materials first, but because I’m working on writing and copy editing various projects, I’ll let this article on proper grammar suffice as my commentary for now.
    

-7-

In Your Hands, Not Our Own Our hope is in the Lord, which is a good thing, because Kevin hasn't had anything promising come along in terms of his job search recently, and we found out this week when Kevin was already in the middle of having major dental work done that we've spent our entire allocated amount for our medical Flexible Spending Account for this year.

God is good. He knows where Kevin will be a tremendous asset to a company. Hopefully, we'll find out where that is soon.  Lord, we put our lives in Your hands.  Kevin's response to my prayer of surrender to the Lord's will and timing was a classic: "So speed it up."

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.  

On the Wings of Glory Bees

I know for certain that the prayers of many were lifting me up this past Monday.  I gave a talk on How Faith, Technology, and You Can Be Part of the New Evangelization to the Women in God's Spirit (WINGS) group at Church of the Epiphany.  The last time I had been to that parish was with Michele Morris when she performed her original play "Teresita" for the WINGS group.

Watching the performance, which is largely about discernment, while surrounded by a number of older women served as a good reminder that we are called to discern God’s Will for us throughout our lives. The poem by St. Teresa of Avila called “In the Hands of God,” which Michele included in her program is one that I have found to be a beautiful prayer and reminder that we should ultimately be asking God (rather than other people) what He wants of us. 

   
In memory and honor of Michele and because I could feel that her prayers were with me, I wore the black and gold striped "glory bee" knee socks she bought me just days before she entered the Sisters by the Sea, a cloistered Carmelite monastery in Carmel, California.  No one could see the socks under the black boots I was wearing, but I knew they were there, and they made me Click here to read about how Michele and I developed a fascination with glory bees inspired by a novena to St. Thérѐse.

smile.

Upon entering the room where the meeting was held this past Monday, I gazed at the beautiful poster hanging on the wall of the Blessed Mother with the words “Mary kept all of these things and pondered them in her heart.”  I like the implication that the Mother of God also had things happen which she didn’t completely understand, but because of faith she pondered them in her heart, knowing God would provide clarity and grace for greater comprehension when the time was right. 

    
I noticed a nice statue of St. Thérѐse had been set on the small table under the poster.  I smiled at the likeness of the famous cloistered Carmelite holding her bouquet of pink roses, sensing that it was another “God wink” that I was where I was supposed to be doing His work.  I later found out that no one knows who brought the statue in and put it on the table used for the Praying Hands prayer shawl ministry, which made it even more significant that it was one of the first things I saw upon entering.

    
It is customary for women in WINGS to bring in items that are special to them.  The items are placed on the table in front of the lectern, and the significance of each one is briefly described to the group.  Again, I was awed and inspired by what two women brought for “show and tell.”  My favorite was the most gorgeous painting of St. Thérѐse of Lisieux that I have ever seen.  She seems to be somewhere with beautiful gardens near the water.  This also made me think of Michele, who has entered the Carmelite Sisters by the Sea.   
The woman shared with us that it had been hanging over her grandmother’s bed through the birth of all of her children, of which she had many, between when she was 14-31 years old.  The WINGS member told us about how her grandmother had prayed to St. Thérѐse when her first child, to whom she gave birth at age fourteen, was born prematurely.  The child not only survived, but she lived to the ripe old age of 95. 

After telling us about the painting, she was going to pack it up in the box she’d brought it in.  I asked her if she would be so kind as to leave it up on the table in front of the lectern where I was about to give my talk since it tied in so perfectly with much of what I would say.  You’ll notice there’s a pink rose on the banner of my blog.  There are a number of reasons it’s there, but one of them involves my special connection with saints named Teresa.

My mom has been praying the novena to St. Thérѐse that includes praying the “Glory be to God” twenty-four times, one for each year of the saint’s life for family members.  The other day she mentioned that the one she’s currently praying has been for Kevin, in part that he will find a job that is a good fit for him soon.  She mentioned how she hadn’t received any roses as is a somewhat common occurrence for those doing the novena as a sign that their prayers have been answered.  When I shared with her the story about the statue of St. Thérѐse that had appeared at church without anyone knowing who brought it in and texting her a picture of the beautiful painting the women brought in to show us, my mom realized that the roses God has been sending her are coming to her in other forms, ones that arrive via technology instead of with thorns.  This reassured her. 

If you are interested in learning more about St. Thérѐse the Little Flower, I highly recommend reading the following books:

Story of a Soul: The Autobiography of St. Thérѐse Lisieux

Maurice and Thérѐse: The Story of a Love

The Four Teresas

My Sisters the Saints