Road of Hope

The first time I remember reading about this remarkable man was in a book called A Priest Forever: Nine Signs of Renewal and Hope by Alfred McBride, O. PREAM. I still find it astonishing how this priest lived a life of such profound faith, real hope, and genuine joy in the midst of tremendous suffering. A brother in Christ I had loaned the book to was equally inspired by the mention of this man’s dedication to the Eucharist and Christ, so he got a copy of the DVD entitled Road of Hope: The Spiritual Journey of Cardinal Nguyen Van Thuan.
    
My husband and I watched the documentary last evening and are still letting the magnitude of grace, perseverance, holiness, joy, and hope Cardinal Francis Xavier Nguyen Van Thuan exuded settle in. I can’t even imagine what it must have been like for him to be locked in a prison camp in Vietnam for thirteen years, nine of which he spent in solitary confinement.  For days, weeks, sometimes months, he lived in complete darkness. The only personal possession he had when taken to the prison was a Rosary.     

He had prayed that if there was no more work that he could do for the Church that the Lord make his sacrifice complete by taking his life while he was in prison, but that if there was more work he could do to glorify God through serving the Church then he wanted to live long enough to do whatever that would be. At one point his tuberculosis had gotten so bad, they were going to do surgery to remove the largely infected area in one of his lungs. He was on the table prepped for surgery, when everything was stopped so another x-ray could be taken. This x-ray showed that his lungs were both perfectly fine. Cardinal Nguyen Van Thuan attributed his miraculous healing to the intercession of the Blessed Mother.
    
God had much more to do in and through this man to bring others closer to Him, to shepherd Christ’s flock, and be an inspiration to Catholics all over the world. His life journey is well-documented. The DVD includes interviews with Cardinal Nguyen Van Thuan, his sister, footage of his parents, clips of him when he worked at the Vatican, and it chronicles some of the most challenging periods of suffering in his life.
    
He modeled the true love and forgiveness of Christ, thereby converting many. I wouldn’t recommend showing such graphic images of suffering and poverty to children, however, teens and adults will definitely be given a clear picture of what it means to say yes to God no matter what. I don’t see how you could fail to be spellbound by this man’s unfailing commitment to living joyfully and hopefully for God in the face of unimaginable suffering.
    
You can purchase this DVD here.
    
I wrote this review of Road of Hope for the Tiber River Blogger Review program.  Tiber River is the first Catholic book review site, started in 2000 to help you make informed decisions about Catholic book purchases.  I receive free product samples as compensation for writing reviews for Tiber River.

Thinking about Nana, Grieving the Loss of Loved Ones, and Pieces of Memories That Remain

Ever since my dad passed away August 10, 2009, I’ve thought more about my nana, his mom, who was one of my favorite people in the world. Recently, the smell of sweet perfume mingled with the scent of cigarette smoke reminded me very strongly of Nana. I was holding a precious little one which made me recall the month before she passed away. My youngest sister Theresa was born that Halloween, and Nana came to stay with us that Christmas and New Year’s.

  
On New Year’s Eve, Dad, Nana, and I stayed up to watch the movie Home Alone. My dad and I had seen it a number of times, but it was my nana’s first time watching it. I’m not sure if my dad laughed harder at the movie or at my Nana’s laughing at the movie. She had quite a unique laugh, no doubt, in part from years of smoking. It sounded a bit like the dog Mutley’s laugh from the Yogi Bear cartoons. The three of us had a lot of fun! I would have cherished that time even more had I known that the next morning Nana would be rushed to the hospital, where she’d spend the last month of her life.

  
I remember going into the guestroom where Nana stayed and being able to smell the perfume she wore, Beautiful by Estee Lauder, still in the air. I bought some many years later because the scent always reminds me of her. She was quite a prim and proper lady. She would have her hair done, make-up on, jewelry, and everything. I was shocked one day when we were staying at her condo in Florida many years ago, and I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night and found her dentures in a glass by the sink. I’d never once seen her without her teeth.

  
Though rather fragile and delicate in appearance in her later years, she was always stubborn and feisty about some things. Nana wanted her turn to pick up the tab when we all went out to dinner. I remember one time we were at Chili’s, one of our family’s favorite restaurants, when the waitress brought the check to the table; Nana and my dad both grabbed it. Then I knew where my dad and brothers had gotten their inclination to fight over the check. Nana was very upset that my dad wasn’t going to let her pay. She even threatened not to come visit us again if he wouldn’t let her take care of the bill. It looked like they were about to arm wrestle or something over it, so I plucked it out of their hands. I’m pretty sure I handed it to my dad, knowing that Nana wouldn’t be as upset with me and that she certainly wouldn’t make good on her threat not to visit us again.

 
One clear memory I have of her when she was in the hospital for the month of January pretty much summed up her feeling about doctors, especially young ones who were not all that well-versed in bedside manner. As soon as the young physician walked away, she stuck her tongue out at him. I laughed out loud to see her do something so uncharacteristic.
  
There are a number of things that bring to mind that period of time when Mom and I went to visit Nana in the evenings. Hearing certain Amy Grant songs, which we often listened to in the car at that time makes me think back to then. I’m sure it’s jogged my memory some when I’ve pulled into the St. Benedict’s parking lot to go to daily Mass. It was while I was cheering at one of the boys’ St. Mary’s basketball games in the Benedictine school gym that my dad and uncles came. I knew what had happened the moment they all walked in. I didn’t cry at all then.

  
I’d known days earlier that despite some optimistic thoughts and good signs, Nana wasn’t going to make it out of the hospital alive this time. The night I knew this for sure, I cried and cried and cried. The grief hit me full-force though she was still alive.

  
I went with my dad and his brothers to identify Nana’s body at Woody Funeral Home before she was cremated. (I’m sure my mom didn’t know at the time that I had gone. She likely would have objected since I was only eleven.) We each kissed her goodbye one last time.

  
I remembered this experience very clearly when Mom and I were at Woody funeral home signing all the paperwork and going in to see Dad one last time. When I kissed his cheek, I was absolutely certain that his spirit was no longer inside his body. He’d finally gotten to the point where he could let go of his body and move from this life to the next.

  
Lord, thank You for the love, faith, life lessons, and legacies left by the loved ones we’ve lost. Lead us to live, love, and believe as boldly as they did. Amen.

A Memorable, Movable Feast

Laura, Jeff, Me, Kevin, & John after a summer feast at Famous Dave's.

Creative, beautiful, heartwarming, classy, delicious, loving, and fun best describe everything from the handmade invitation to the homemade turkey and pies. Kevin and I had been looking forward to this event since last year. Laura and Jeff invited us over last November to have a Thanksgiving dinner at their place with some mutual friends.
   
We sent several messages beforehand back and forth over who was bringing what, but when the weekend arrived for our Saturday evening Thanksgiving feast, Laura and Jeff were both sick with the flu. Having already cooked the turkey and made lots of food, they postponed the meal until a later date. As luck would have it, we got a significant amount of snow that weekend, and no one was up for driving through it to get over there.
    
When I opened the hand-crafted invitation Laura sent this year, I had to laugh, wondering if the whole thing would come off without a hitch this time. It did! Last Saturday Kevin and I arrived with our green bean casserole and crescent rolls. Jeff came to greet us at the door of their building. Laura received us with open arms straight from cooking in the kitchen.
    
The table was set beautifully, looking very much like something you’d see in a magazine. It smelled like Thanksgiving. The turkey had just come out of the oven. The family recipe gravy was still on the stove thickening, which gave me an opportunity to help out. I stirred without stopping while Laura bustled around the kitchen taking care of different odds and ends. Jeff and Kevin sat in the living room and enjoyed some hors d’oeuvres while watching some of the football games on TV. Soon Laura’s dad Paul and his wife Lynn arrived.
    
Our friend John called and asked if they had whipped cream. They were a little confused and concerned by that question since he’d talked to them just that morning about bringing potatoes. I explained that he was also planning on picking up a chocolate fudge pie from Ukrop’s bakery because that was one of their family’s traditions. It all came together quite nicely.
    
Laura had even printed out sheets with our names on them and the lines of the prayer we were assigned. There were two paper leaves decorating the top of each paper. After each line of the prayer, we lit one of the tealight candles on the table.
    
The food was positively scrumptious! We had turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, stuffing, corn pudding, two kinds of cranberry sauce, crescent rolls later followed by three kinds of pie: chocolate peanut butter which Jeff made, pumpkin grace à Laura, and the chocolate fudge John brought.
    
We had a great time talking and catching up. It had been quite some time since I’d seen and gotten the opportunity to talk with Paul and Lynn. The one thing that really stood out in my memory about Lynn was that she came over to my mom’s house when I was in high school to do a PartyLite Candle show. That evening there was a bad storm that ended up knocking the electricity out in the middle of the party. We all laughed, lit some more candles, and kept right on going.
   
Laura is someone I’ve known since we went to fifth grade together at St. Mary’s. We went to different high schools, but we were in the same Confirmation class taught by my mom our Junior year, and then we came back into each other’s lives when Kevin and I started going to St. Michael’s, where Laura is a cantor and Jeff serves as a lector.
    
When we finished eating, Laura, truly the ideal hostess, pulled out brand new Gladware containers for us to each make a to-go serving to take home. We spent several hours at the table long after we’d finished our coffee, tea, and pie, playing a very in-depth game of Apples to Apples. What a magnificent, fun-filled evening!
    
Lord, thank You for close friends who have become family, who are excited to see us, and invite us warmly into their homes for food, fellowship, and laughter! Amen.

Do You Have Enough Oil in Your Lamp?

     The Mass Readings they did at St. Joseph’s Little Sisters of the Poor yesterday were about a woman being dedicated to the service of the Lord, and the Gospel was about the brides who were waiting for the bridegroom to come. Some had enough oil and others didn’t have enough, and when they went to buy some more, the bridegroom came and the doors were closed. The bridegroom tells those who hadn’t had enough oil in their lamps that he didn’t know them when they returned and knocked.
     The priest’s homily made me wonder: do I have enough oil in my lamp to wait for Christ’s coming?

The 13th Day: The True Story of Fatima

The 13th Day: The True Story of Fatima is a beautiful, very moving rendition of Our Lady’s appearance to the three shepherd children Lucia, Francisco, and Jacinta in Fatima, Portugal. Mary appeared to them on the 13th day of each month from May to October 1917. Breathtaking countryside shots, a well-selected, very talented cast, and a captivating plot based on the true story of the Marian apparitions in Fatima make this an exceptional work. The courage and faith of these children’s witnesses in the face of so many adults who vehemently refuted what the three saw and experienced are portrayed exceptionally well in this film.
   
Though it’d been years since I’d read any books about the Fatima apparitions, much of what I’d read, heard, and gleaned from a variety of sources came back to me when watching this film. Plus, the dramatization of the story really drove home the incredible faith and grace these three children were given to stand firm and hold on to the Truth even when it meant they were abducted from their homes, thrown into prison, and threatened with death because they had the audacity to remain faithful to the Lord and Mary’s message.
    
The powerful intercession of Mary and her role as Mediatrix are clearly defined in this movie. State-of-the-art digital special effects are used to create the images described by the children, mainly in the memoirs of the oldest child Lucia Santos, and by the thousands of eye witnesses present on October 13, 1917 when the promised Miracle of the Sun occurred.
    
Even those who have read a number of books written on the Fatima apparitions and studied the prophetic messages that the Blessed Mother gave to these poor peasants I believe will enjoy and be pleased with how the story, setting, and people come across onscreen.
    
I highly recommend this film as being quite inspirational. It reminds us of God’s faithfulness, Mary’s power and tenderness, as well as Christ’s love in the midst of a culture of death, the experience of personal physical, emotional, and spiritual suffering, and the ongoing challenge of living out and proclaiming the Truth when challenged from all sides to stop doing so.
    
You can purchase this DVD here.
    
I wrote this review of The 13th Day for the Tiber River Blogger Review program.  Tiber River is the first Catholic book review site, started in 2000 to help you make informed decisions about Catholic book purchases.  I receive free product samples as compensation for writing reviews for Tiber River.

Today You Are with Me

     We can easily get caught up in the mess we’ve made of things in the past or the allusions of grandeur we predict for the future, but living in the present moment, being aware of Christ’s presence and being present to others is what Christ did and calls us to imitate.

     There are a number of children’s books in which the main character tries to get the attention, approval, and/or affection of his or her parents. Some of the antics are amusing and others mischievous. Often the stories end with a happily-ever-after scenario in which the mom or dad recognizes their child’s need for their undivided attention and gives them that quality time he or she has been craving.
     While in the midst of extreme physical, emotional, and/or spiritual pain, it can be hardest to believe and sense that Christ is with us right then and there. Sure, we can picture Jesus with us on the days when we’re acutely aware of His blessings in our lives. What about those days when we don’t feel His hand on our shoulders? What about the moments when we feel completely abandoned when we need Him most?
     The Lord tells us that even then He is with us. When our thoughts and/or feelings make it difficult to experience that we are always with God, He reminds us that He never leaves us. That doesn’t mean we won’t feel alone or sometimes test to see how close He really is when we cry out for help. Fortunately He remains faithful and is present regardless of how many doubts and questions assail us, regardless of how weak our faith is at times, or how sinful our nature.
     Oftentimes God will work through the people in our lives to show us His love, mercy, forgiveness, and be present to us. An amusing practice my sister started years ago serves as a wonderful reminder of this. When she was little my youngest sister Theresa would say bedtime prayers with my mom every night, then she’d ask my mom, “Are you going anywhere? Will you go to sleep after me?” She wanted to know that my mom would be just down the hall if she needed her. As an added measure, Theresa used to call out from her bedroom each night to my mom, “Love you, goodnight!” and wait for my mom to respond with “Love you, goodnight!” This exchange would often be repeated for several minutes, depending on how long it took Theresa to fall asleep, and how long my mom was willing to play the game that particular evening.
     We can grow in a deeper awareness that today we are with God. Unlike our parents and other loved ones, He never slumbers or sleeps. He’s never semi-conscious down the hall or out for the evening. He’s the Daddy, the Beloved Brother, the Best Friend, who wants us with Him wherever He goes. We often fear losing someone or something dear to us, but God’s presence and commitment to remain with us never changes. He is true to each of His children when He says, “Today, you are with Me.” 

Something Old Becomes Renewed

     Last weekend was a wonderful reminder that we never know how or when friends from long ago will come back into our lives. Kevin and I went to Charlottesville, Virginia, last weekend to be there for the wedding and surrounding festivities of a friend I first met when we were in fifth grade together at St. Mary’s School.
     It was funny when people at the informal gathering at her brother’s apartment on Friday evening asked how Meghan and I knew each other,

Healing Life's Hurts Through Theophostic Prayer

   I became interested in Theophostic Prayer when a friend of mine and her family who are Charismatic Catholics talked with me about it in the context of being a powerful method for healing. My friend shared with me the experience she had during her first Theophostic Prayer session, and I immediately wanted to hear more about the ministry which focuses on prayer as a means of mind renewal and experiential healing of lie-based beliefs with the Holy Spirit’s Truth.
     My friend’s father, who is a trained spiritual director and one of the leaders of our parish’s Charismatic Prayer Group, loaned me two books on the topic of Theophostic Prayer. The first book entitled Healing Life’s Hurts through Theophostic Prayer was written by the developer of this ministry, pastoral counselor Dr. Edward M. Smith. Theophostic is a word that comes from two Greek words Theos (God) and Phos (light). “These two words describe God illuminating a previously darkened area of one’s mind and thoughts with His truth. Theophostic Prayer Ministry is God’s true Light, the Spirit of Christ bringing divine truth experientially into one’s historical life experiences.” (pg. 10)      The thinking behind this method of prayer and healing is that oftentimes our present reactions and emotions to experiences also include those from our past, whether we’re conscious of it at the time or not. Because we have this emotional baggage from the past that we carry with us, we react to current events in our lives in certain ways. Dr. Smith has found that by identifying the earliest memory when the emotion or thought process first was experienced, that healing can come through prayer and inviting the Holy Spirit to come and heal the pain caused by the lies the person came to believe at that time by replacing them with His Infinite Truth.
     I find this idea quite intriguing. I have been acutely aware for years that many of my childhood experiences have heavily influenced my reaction to people, places, and circumstances in my present life. Though I can go back through what I thought and felt at the time and logically think through my current reactions and where they came from, why they don’t really make sense in the present situation, etc. I still held on to many of the lies I came to believe about God, myself, and others during those traumatic events. It makes sense that freedom and healing come when, through prayer, we open ourselves to having the lies we’ve believed replaced with the Truth that comes to us from the Holy Spirit.
     Far from being a one-time cure for all your problems, Dr. Smith emphasizes that Theophostic Prayer Ministry is a process that helps us to heal deep emotional pain throughout life. We will inevitably have people, situations, places, and events that will trigger our memories. The most troublesome emotions we experience can often be traced back to a particular memory in our lives when we first adopted what we can now identify as being a lie-based belief. Our behavior since that time reflects the belief is still deeply ingrained in us. Only through prayer, identifying the lies, and through God’s grace accepting the Truth that comes from the Holy Spirit are we likely to be healed on a level deep enough that the memory remains, but the raw pain it caused us and the lies we came to believe at the time are replaced.
     Since reading Healing Life’s Hurts Through Theophostic Prayer and experiencing my first Theophostic Prayer Session with ministers who were trained by Dr. Smith himself, I have become even more interested in studying and using this method of healing.

Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It

In the beginning of October, I unearthed while sorting and cleaning out stuff a book called Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It by Jerry B. Jenkins that I picked up from the giveaway pile at church when I was on team for a Christ Renews His Parish retreat in August. In the book the author, who is a novelist, biographer, Christian husband and father talks about planting and maintaining hedges. I definitely think many people would get a lot from this book. I learned quite a bit about things from the male perspective regarding the importance of “planting hedges” as he refers to it as a way of protecting your marriage.
    
Though he of course talks about how to plant hedges to stay far away from pornography and prostitution, most of what he writes about are the guidelines and hedges he’s found most helpful and necessary in male/female relationships between friends, co-workers, persons in ministry, etc., when either one person or both are married. He uses real life examples as well as Scriptural evidence for the points he makes and the suggested guidelines he gives. Some scenarios he’s taken from Christian counseling he and his wife have done for other friends and couples.     

I believe coming across this book, then unearthing it and reading it has provided some of God’s more concrete answers to my prayers that Kevin and I would come to have a more intimate relationship with God and with one another. It has also made a big difference in my discernment about whether or not it’s okay to be friends, siblings, spiritual companions with some of our close male friends.
    
Whenever praying about things before, I got that if God is first and Kevin comes before everyone and everything other than God, then all will be well. I’d been praying and asking for more specifics about healthy boundaries in my relationships.
    
I prefer to know the rules and guidelines so I’m at least a little less likely to screw up, upset people, and get hurt myself. This book included some concrete guidelines for male/female relationships outside of marriage along with in-depth explanations of why they’re important.
    
I read the book all the way through, first, then I read it aloud with Kevin and we completed the study guide included. Some of the topics or specifics related to them Kevin and I hadn’t really discussed before, so it proved to be a good jumping off point for discussions. Kevin really appreciated that I took the initiative to read this book and wanted to share it with him, discuss things openly, and come up with some hedges to help protect our marriage.
     
Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It is a wonderful, Scripture-based guide that married couples, ministers of any kind, and those who are single but have friends who are married can certainly benefit from reading.

All Saints, All Souls, All Loved Ones Gone on to Eternal Life

     With this past Monday being All Saints’ Day and Tuesday All Souls’ Day, I’ve been thinking a lot about the lives of the saints as well as those of the loved ones who have gone before us. At Mass on Monday evening, we heard about some of those in the communion of saints and were reminded that each and every one of us is called to become a saint, to become holy and sanctified in this life.

Prodigal Daughters: Catholic Women Come Home to the Church

Some of these women came from very devout Catholic families and drifted from the faith, as so many do, once they were out on their own at college or in the world without anyone checking to see if they were going to Mass, participating in the Sacraments, making time for personal prayer, and thereby growing in holiness and closeness to the Lord.
  
Many were disillusioned by the watered-down version of the Catholic faith they received growing up after Vatican II at a time when women’s rights and sexual freedom were being heavily promoted. In most cases, God worked through a friend, spouse, child, family member, and/or a clergyman to guide these prodigal daughters back to the loving Father, the Blessed Mother, and the True Presence of Christ in the Eucharist.  
  
The most prevalent reasons for these women to abandon their faith for a time were that they got caught up in sensual pleasures espoused by the sexual revolution and feminist movement, became focused on winning worldly success, embraced New Age thought and practices, and/or were disillusioned by religious men and women who made the mistake of adopting ideas from popular culture and passing them off as Church doctrine, though they were and are clearly against the Magisterium.
  
This book gives me hope for the many Catholics who have fallen away from the faith and may even condemn the Church and its teachings. These stories prove, yet again, that God doesn’t abandon His Children, not even when we turn our backs on Him. He remains faithful to us always. He is the loving, enthusiastic, warm father who welcomes us with open arms however and whenever we finally hear His call to return home.
  
One of the most poignant observations made by Archbishop Fulton Sheen which sums up this book so very well is that there are millions who hate what they think the Catholic Church is, but not a handful who hate the real thing.
  
Lord, thank You for loving us so much that You never give up on us. You are always inviting us home and rejoice when we finally accept Your invitation.
  
You can purchase this book here.
  
I wrote this review of Prodigal Daughters for the Tiber River Blogger Review program.  Tiber River is the first Catholic book review site, started in 2000 to help you make informed decisions about Catholic book purchases. I receive free product samples as compensation for writing reviews for Tiber River.