"You have a new baby sister!"

     Those were the most joyful, awe-inspiring words I've heard on Halloween.  Our Family's Happiest Halloween Ever was when my youngest sister was born while my other sister and I were out trick-or-treating with friends of ours.  (My parents left for the hospital as we were getting ready, and my grandma was at our house in anticipation.)
     I think it's pretty funny that this was the song that was blaring from my friends' father's car stereo when he got the call on his car phone.  He turned it down long enough to tell us the joyful news: "You have a new baby sister!"  We were very excited.
     It is still hard for me to believe that the little girl I've loved and watched grow into a beautiful woman is in her Senior year of college now.  I can't say it seems like only yesterday that I was giving her rides places when she was in high school, but I do have some fond memories of Driving Miss Daisy.
     Along with the story about Theresa's birthday, there's a picture of us on Halloween when she was still in high school and had requested that we dress up as Disney characters for her birthday.  I dressed as Mulan and she's Tinkerbell.
     Theresa, I hope you have a wonderful birthday and that this next year of your life is filled to overflowing with joy, blessings, and amazing memories too numerous to count. You are dearly loved!

Best Scare-Fest EVER! A Halloween Haunted Warehouse with the Roanoke Jaycees

The absolute best scare-fest ever was one I got to participate in from “the dark side.”

The whole thing was set up in this big old warehouse that you walked through, room by room, one frightening scene after another, really dark walkways, a guide in front of you with a flashlight pointed at the ground, monsters and mass murderers in convincing make-up and costumes pawing at you as you pass by, and a number of surprising, hair-raising twists and turns that managed to give even the most macho men a good startle. 

   
I went with some other friends from Hollins University to help out the Roanoke Jaycees with their haunted exhibit (which is unfortunately closed this year-2013), now known as the FEAR FACTORY. 

   
They had tons and tons of volunteers involved.  The decorating was really remarkable and detailed that they did to make this place genuinely spooky.  When we were given a walk-through tour I was very grateful that the lights were still on.  I quickly determined from this well-lit tour that I’d be okay taking people’s tickets at the door before entering this place, but that walking through that series of twists, turns, scary sights, and sudden frights multiple times with a group of people counting on me not to drop the flashlight and run screaming for the nearest door would be asking a bit much.

   
I still remember the sheer terror I felt during the latter part of a hayride a friend and I went on one October when I was trying to squeeze through a little space then run as fast as possible in a real forest in the dark from the crazy guy with a chainsaw.  It turns out I don’t like people running after me with chainsaws in a dark forest even if I know they aren’t really going to cut me into little pieces.  It seems even more ridiculous (at least to me) when I thought about the fact that I had paid to have someone inflict this punishment upon me.  I don’t watch horror flicks.  I’ve had enough real-life scary stuff happen that I don’t need the adrenalin-rush from something that’s not actually life-threatening or worthy of complete panic.

   
The Roanoke Jaycees went all-out.  The most shocking scare that particular year came near the end.  It’s dark, and you can see a sliver of light from outside, so you think the tour is almost over.  You’re looking forward, going towards the light when all of a sudden, headlights come on, a horn is blasting, and the front of a real car falls right into where you are standing with your mouth and eyes wide open and at the last minute hits a barrier that’s disguised on the other side of a farm-like wooden fence.  As you can probably imagine, some people were screaming their heads off at this point, which was kind of a cool additional real-life sound effect for those about to enter the haunted house or those already in it.

   
After a few seconds to recover from such a jolt and start breathing again, the group can clearly see that they are just steps away from the exit now, and can carry on laughing about the whole thing.  That’s where I came in.  There was less than two feet of space between the wall they’d constructed as part of the you’re-going-to-get-hit-by-a-car attraction and one of the actual walls of the building.  It was a dark and vacant little hiding spot.

When I crouched down, I just could just barely squeeze into the space and scoot far enough back that I could see out, but I couldn’t be seen.  When a group came to the final stretch of the fear factory, I would hear the car horn, see the headlights and get ready.  I’d hear people screaming, a few gasped and then laughed, one or two were startled, but did their best to hide it. 

   
Inevitably, they’d stand there and stare at the car that had almost hit them and admire the set-up while getting their heartbeat back to a normal level.  They leave the last staged scary scene, heading towards the exit which is clearly in sight, and I would let out this piercing, bloodcurdling scream that went on for as long as I could hold it.

I got a big kick out of watching people jump about two feet in the air.  Even people who knew about the car ahead of time or for whatever reason weren’t really startled by that were genuinely flipped out when they heard a real live, full-fledged scream coming from very close by.

People would look around and ask where that had come from, but I’d never come out while they were still inside the building.  It was funny, because the guides knew what was on the tour, but they didn’t know about me hiding and screaming at the end, and they couldn’t see me, either, so they were startled as well the first time through with a group after I took up my new post.

  
At the end of the night, one of the Jaycees asked if he could videotape me doing what I had been doing throughout the evening for each group even after I started losing my voice (which probably made it sound even more frightening).  I let him record me screaming my head off from my little hiding spot.  It was long enough ago that I’m not too worried about it showing up on Youtube.

What's really funny is I got to count my time there as part of my community service hours for the month.  I'm not quite sure the community would have considered it a service, but I was participating in one of their major fundraisers.    

I never knew I’d have fun working in a haunted house, but that year I had a blast!

Hard Habits to Break

I found this article “Breaking Bad Habits: Why It’s So Hard to Change” a while back, and it spoke to me.  I guess part of the reason is because I know I have unhealthy behaviors, and I’m often uncomfortably aware and, at times, even really bothered by other people’s practices, usually because they in some way mirror or bring to the surface weaknesses I have.  This article reminded me of what is helpful and productive in breaking bad habits and establishing good ones in their place.

     
A big part of my problem is that I tend to minimize the effects of what I do and how other people are inadvertently harmed in the process.  Comparing the severity or seriousness of something I could change with someone else’s addiction (whether clinically diagnosed as such or not) isn’t a good way to grow in holiness or compassion.

    
As we are reminded in the Gospel of Luke 18:9-14, when the Pharisee exalts himself before the Lord for his supposed righteousness and the tax collector stays in the back of the sanctuary begging God for forgiveness, acknowledging that he is a lowly sinner, desperately in need of God’s mercy, we see what’s in these men’s hearts.  The minute we take credit for any of the goodness in us instead of thanking God for it, we run into trouble, pride, and veer into self-righteousness. 

We think we are good because we keep the laws and do what we’re supposed to do, but if we are doing everything for show or the admiration, attention, or respect of others, God sees through that.  He knows what’s in our hearts, whether we care to acknowledge He knows us more intimately than we know ourselves or not.    

   
There have been way too many times in my life when I have judged others because of the decisions they make, though I’m often guilty of similar mistakes and sins.  My thoughts go generally something like this: Well, at least I’m not doing what so-and-so is doing.  What they are doing is sooooo much worse and more despicable, destructive, immoral, sinful, disgusting…  I would never stoop so low as that.  Wow!  I can’t believe they can’t see what a mess they’re making of things.  I mean, really, someone should do an intervention or something.

    
Does that line of thinking sound familiar to you?  Over the years, I’ve learned that when I feel really upset by something someone is doing, it’s most often due to the fact that their behavior triggers an area of weakness in me.  In seeing someone else as different, less noble, less fragile… less anything, then we are refusing to look at what inside of us is lacking. 

    
It’s always easier to point fingers and criticize others than it is to take responsibility and ownership for the decisions we make and things we do that reflect that we are just as proud, arrogant, selfish, sinful, and disillusioned as they are.  (I covered this topic in a blog post titled What's the Best Reason I Know to Have a Personal Relationship with God? I Am!) 

    
Simone Weil stated that: “Every sin is an attempt to fly from emptiness.” This quote appears in the Magnificat magazine for Sunday, October 27, 2013, and seems to fit perfectly. We all go from temptation into sin for the same reason: to escape the pain of missing something that we want or need, to fill a void that is real or imagined. 

    
A destructive habit or behavior is always an attempt to make up for some aspect or way in which we feel we are lacking or at the very least to distract us temporarily from the discontent, inadequacy, or “emptiness” we are experiencing.

    
Only in acknowledging the places inside of us that are broken, empty, and in need of healing are we able to empathize and have compassion for others.  If we look down on and judge others who choose to do things to avoid their own emptiness which we find reprehensible, then we are often unaware of their level of pain and suffering, and/or we refuse to concede that it is in any way similar to our own. 

    
People deal with pain and suffering in different ways.  One person’s way of coping might not necessarily seem as detrimental as another person’s, but so many of the things we do to suppress our pain, distract ourselves from it, and/or merely survive through it are harmful to our souls, our relationship with God and others.

      
This reminds me of a very famous quote of Blessed Mother Teresa: “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”  Rarely do we know the situation that someone else is in, the details of their lives, the source or depth of their hurt, and even when we do know a great deal, we don’t know everything.  If we set ourselves up as a judge of someone else, then we are, in essence, saying that we are superior to or somehow better than they are in some area.  Again, in distancing ourselves, we deny the ways that we are lacking, whether it be regarding knowledge of the situation or compassion for another’s weakness. 

    
There was an activity we did at a personal growth seminar many years ago that has stuck in my mind.  The speaker begins describing a situation and talks about what a person does, then participants are asked how they would respond to the individual in those circumstances using body language that ranges from hostile/disapproving to welcoming/friendly.  When told the first part of the scenario, most people indicate they would be upset and react negatively.  Then the speaker continues with a little more backstory, and the more people find out about what this person is going through, the more compassionate people become.  For example, the inattentive, seemingly rude salesclerk is seen through the eyes of compassion once we know that she’s a single mom undergoing chemotherapy but has to come into work though exhausted and feeling sick to put food on the table.

    
The next time we are tempted to judge someone, we could instead pray and ask God to show us what is lacking or feeling empty in us that makes us feel the need to criticize or put down someone else.  It’s a lot more uncomfortable to acknowledge that we’re triggered by other people’s behavior and blame them for what they’re doing than it is to take responsibility for our reaction to other people’s choices and the pain we experience to the Lord for healing.

    
Another solution that has worked many times in addition to prayer is to ask questions and really listen to what the person has to say.  So few people are good at actively listening, and even those who know how to do it don’t necessarily practice it all of the time. 

When all else fails, we can stop and pray what many have come to call "the Jesus prayer:" “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me a sinner.”               

33 Blessings I’m Grateful for on my Birthday

Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes and prayers!  Here in completely random order are some blessings for which I am truly grateful.

Great books to read

 A passion for writing

·         The Sacrament of Reconciliation

·         The Eucharist

·         A child’s unbridled laughter

·         My mom

·         humor

·         Arts and crafts

·         Poetry

·         My husband

·         Prayer warriors

·         The desire to do God’s Will

·         Greeting cards & letters

·         Mass

·         Hugs

·         Kisses

·         Hope

·         Time to relax

·         Naps

·         Pens, paper, and pretty stationary

·         Photos

·         The privilege of being a nanny

·         My family

·         Friends

·         Loving text messages

·         Blogs

·         the gift of faith

·         Cursillo

·         Transformation Prayer Ministry

·         Silly sisters

·         The Step Up movies which inspire me and get me up and dancing.

·         Roller skates, even if I didn’t get to use my old school white ones with pink wheels from back in the day, yet.  No, these aren’t rollerblades. 

·         Another year to glorify God (though Kevin and I are both still waiting to hear more from Him on how He wants us to do that.)

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 125)

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Grace is…accepting that some people love you for who you really are even if that’s hard for you to believe; knowing that if you’re still alive, then God can and will still work through you in this life; having a husband who, though not an English major, fully appreciates the hilarious results when people annihilate grammar and refuse to submit to competent copy editing; reaching out to someone who has lost a loved one with compassion, understanding, and prayer; having one of the most adorable people you know tell you "I love
you" totally out of the blue; knowing that you have the time, energy, ability, and skills to complete God’s Bucket List for your life…

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I’m Addicted to Books I haven’t posted nearly as many book reviews lately as I normally do.  I'm concentrating mostly on reading books and writing reviews on ones that I've been asked to be part of Virtual Blog Tours. (God's Bucket List: Heaven's Surefire Way to Happiness in This Life and Beyond is the next book that will be on tour, so check back for my review and reflection on that this November.) 

     I have been reading voraciously, as is my custom.  No worries there.  It’s kind of nice to plow through Young Adult fiction and other books of interest to me without always having to write something about every single one of them.  I do need to be better about keeping a list of what I’ve read by whom, though, so I copied my list of books I checked out from the library on my most recent trip to give me a good start.  

     What’s cool is that I have come across a number of YA novels that without being preachy or outright religious are awesome stories that have among other themes: respecting life in all its forms.  I will likely be compiling a list of these awesome books, authors, and posting them soon.  In case you haven't noticed, I also have a passion for sharing well-written, good reads.  

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The Hazards of Habits The hazards of habits came back to me the day a young child in my care twirled her finger in her hair so tight that it wasn’t possible for said kid to extract it without assistance.  I had to laugh at the scene, which seemed very much like something out of a sitcom, but I couldn’t relish the irony for long.  Usually, I’m all for the, have them figure out how to get out of something they’ve gotten themselves into philosophy (Maria Montessori was really onto something), but not when a kid’s finger is turning purple. 

     Fortunately, both the finger and the cute lock of curly hair were preserved.  I decided that was one of those times when it would be okay to advise strongly that the child stop doing something that other people do and don’t care if this child does because appendages are important.   

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Stickers Everywhere! The girls have been going crazy with stickers this week. They’ve been putting them everywhere: on everything and everyone. I came directly home after work instead of running any errands, because there was a very real possibility that I might not have found all of the stickers that ended up on my clothing during the course of 9+ hours. Basically, if you see a bright-colored sticker on the back of my pants that reads "Awesome!" or "Hop to It!" you can bet your bottom dollar that it was a cruel twist of fate that it got stuck there inadvertently after being transferred from various articles of clothing, pieces of furniture, and toys. Click on this link if you want to read more posts from My Nanny Diary.

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Things Your Toddler Might Be Thinking  These are a handful of items from the list I wrote inspired by many years of taking care of young children.  Some of my guesses about what they're thinking have been confirmed when they start talking more and/or become even more proficient in baby sign language, so I know more of the time what's going on in their little heads. Others just seem likely to follow the actions observed by toddlers throughout the course of most given days. 

“You have fun putting those books back on the shelf, because it’s gonna take me a whole two seconds to dump them all back on the floor again, which is where I want them to stay anyway.”

“Oh, look a Cheerio!  Still mostly crunchy with only a little dirt on it.”

“Take that!” the little one thinks after thrusting a book into your hand.  “Yeah, that’s the one I want to hear.  Yes, again!  Come on, it’s not that hard.  Mr. Brown can do it.  I’m sure you can manage, too.  Here let me help you: Moo, buzz, yada, yada, yada, knock, knock.”

“Miiiiiiiiiilk!  I’m so thirsty, I think I’ll drink a whole three sips before I pour as much of this out as I can before someone tries to stop me.

“If I shake this gate hard enough, it will swing open, and I will be able to wreak the havoc I have

contemplated every single time I see that stupid contraption which mercilessly thwarts my efforts.”

Knock, knock, knock. Little pig, little pig, let me come in.  Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin (whatever that is).

Here we go again.  Looks like they put away all the books, blocks, and toys I put right where I wanted them.  Some people never learn.  I go to sleep and they put things in strange places and I can’t find anything at all.  I never get a rest.  They keep messing everything up when I’ve finally gotten it where I want it, and I have to start all over again. 

For a more complete list of What Your Toddler May Be Thinking, click here.

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How to get out of Jury Duty I am up for jury duty on Fridays this month, so I felt it might be a good time to pull out my list of possible ways to get out of being selected as a juror.

Top Things to Say to Get Out of Being Selected as a Juror:

(written by my husband and me a while back)

Important Note: We don’t recommend using any of these, unless of course, they happen to be true for you. 

      “I can spot a guilty person like that!” (snapping fingers for emphasis) 

      “I have ADHD that I keep under control by doing three cartwheels and twenty-two jumping jacks every 5 minutes.”

      “I have Tourette’s syndrome, only instead of shouting profanity, I shout out the names of saints.” 

        “I’m very good at telekinesis, and my specialty is gavels.” 

       “I keep my Scrabble game with me in case I get bored.  Want to play?”

        “I have a handy dandy travel gavel.”

     Though, so far just being brutally honest when they call and ask me a select number of questions about my ethics, morality, education, religious affiliations has worked at keeping me from being selected as a juror.
   

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Got Costumes? This picture of Kevin and I dressed up as Men in Black was taken on Halloween some 5-6 years ago.  Yes, Kevin is holding a water gun that he spray-painted to look like the cricket in the movie, because that's how we roll. 

     My unusual hairdo was in anticipation of dressing up that evening. My youngest sister requested we dress up in Disney costumes for her birthday party.  My other sister thought maybe she was joking until my youngest sis informed us that she was dressing up as Tinkerbell.  Later that very same evening, I became Mulan, thus the special hairdo (and the blue eyeliner). 

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.  This week 7 Quick Takes Friday is being hosted by her friend who blogs at Clan Donaldson.  Click here to link up.

Things Your Toddler Might Be Thinking (My Nanny Diary)

“You have fun putting those books back on the shelf, because it’s gonna take me a whole two seconds to dump them all back on the floor again...which is where I want them to stay anyway.”

“Oh, look a Cheerio!  Still mostly crunchy with only a little dirt on it. Scrumptious!”

“Hi!!!” 

“Go ahead.  Make my day!  Pull out those blocks again, and I’ll show you who’s boss.”

  

“Let me outta here or I’m going to scream, yell, kick, flail my arms, throw my head, arch my back, and basically whatever else I got to do to get your attention and your submission pronto.  Am I making myself crystal clear?”

“It’s peanut butter jelly time!”

“Take that!” the little one thinks after thrusting a book in your hand.  “Yeah, that’s the one I want to hear.  Yes, again!  Come on, it’s not that hard.  Mr. Brown can do it.  I’m sure you can manage, too.  Here let me help you: Moo, buzz, yada, yada, yada, knock, knock.”

 

“Miiiiiiiiiilk!  I’m so thirsty, I think I’ll drink a whole three sips before I pour as much of this out as I can before someone tries to stop me.

“If I shake this gate hard enough, it will swing open, and I will be able to wreak the havoc I have contemplated every single time I see that stupid contraption which mercilessly thwarts my efforts.”

“Run!  It’s a bear!”

"The itsy bitsy spider...if you're happy and you know it clap your hands."

Oh, how nice.  It’s a clean, dry diaper.  Time to take a big, stinky, messy dump!

Knock, knock, knock. Little pig, little pig, let me come in.  Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin (whatever that is).

Here we go again.  Looks like they put away all the books, blocks, and toys I put right where I wanted them.  Some people never learn.  I go to sleep and they put things in strange places and I can’t find anything at all.  I never get a rest.  They keep messing everything up when I’ve finally gotten it where I want it, and I have to start all over again. 

Row, row, row, row your boat gently down the scream. Maylee, maylee, maylee, maylee, life is buttercream.

I have just about had it!  I go to all of the trouble of sprinkling my cereal and snack foods on the floor, so I can eat them when I feel like it instead of when I’m strapped into a seat and given a big white surface that they won’t let me use the way I want to.  Maybe I don’t want my food on a plate, in a bowl, or on my spoon.  Did you ever consider that there’s a pattern here?  If you would just put my food on the floor and let me eat it when I feel like it, then we wouldn’t have to do this whole thing where you put things on my tray, I toss them off, you get cranky and put them back on or throw them out.  This is really rather ridiculous, but the show must go on.

Bye!!!!!

Note to Reader: This list has been inspired by many years of taking care of young children.  Some of my guesses about what they're thinking have been confirmed when they start talking more and/or become even more proficient in baby sign language, so I know more of the time what's going on in their little heads. Others just seem likely to follow the actions observed by toddlers throughout the course of most given days.     

How Many Times Do I Have to Tell You…?!

     I have often heard and/or started this question with exasperation, anger, frustration, and aggravation.  Have you ever heard someone say or said to someone else: how many times do I have to tell you…?  My guess is that you have and that at some point you have even said these words.  

     Perhaps the opening question was paired with one of the following: tie your shoes, don’t pick your nose, there are no monsters living under your bed, do your homework, don’t bite your nails, wash your hands with soap and water for 20 seconds every time you use the bathroom and before you eat, of course that’s not a poisoned apple, rinse your dirty dishes before you put them in the sink or the dishwasher, clean clothes belong inside your dresser not on top of it, wipe your feet on the mat before you come inside, the big bad wolf is not knocking at our door, use your silverware, wipe your mouth off with your napkin not your sleeve, stop shouting, speak up, share your toys, pick up your books, stop hitting, kicking, whining, settle down, don’t run, calm down, buck up, leave your scab alone, pick up the mess you made, your milk is to drink not pour on the floor, turn out the lights when you’re not using them, say grace before meals,

stop blowing bubbles in your chocolate milk, even princesses have to follow rules, remember to say please and thank you, chew with your mouth closed, don’t put your shoes on the furniture, eat your vegetables or you won’t get dessert, don’t laugh when someone gets hurt…

     We don’t like it when people don’t listen to us.  We want to be heard, have our thoughts and concerns noted, and our feelings accepted as valid.  When we have to repeat things over and over again, we get frustrated, whether young or old. 

 

     Sometimes I’m so busy critiquing my own thoughts and actions as well as correcting and guiding those of the young people left in my care (and truth be told, also advising and making suggestions to my husband) that I’m not as good about listening.  I know.  It's shocking, right?

     I make the same mistake in my prayer life all the time.  I go to God with all of these people, concerns, situations, and requests, but I don’t spend nearly as much time being still and listening.  It’s so flipping difficult sometimes to allow myself time to be in the Presence of the Lord rather than bouncing from one item on my to-do list to another.

     How many times does God have to tell us to slow down, make time for Him, pray, listen more, worry less, accept His unconditional love though we don’t deserve it and could do nothing to earn it, receive His limitless mercy, embrace His forgiveness and compassion, know that He will never leave us or forsake us, be not afraid, let Him be our strength, He will turn our tears into dancing, our night into day, our struggles into blessings…?  

     This is one of my all-time favorite songs, definitely a perfect one for my life, by the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir.  It's called "So You Would Know," but you'll recognize a number of questions asked in a totally different way.

     

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 124) the last minute and a couple minutes late edition

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Grace is…finding a pro-life, Natural Family Planning only doctor in your area, realizing God put some of the most fervent prayers you’ve prayed on your heart so He could bring them to fruition in ways you couldn’t have imagined or dreamed, catching up with old friends and getting to know other people better, grandparents who have been such loving, nurturing, compassionate examples throughout their lives, people who can make you laugh no matter how long and tiring your day has been, the gift of prayer, attending Mass with people you love, being accepted for where you are…

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Harvesting God’s Abundance I know there have been times in life when I have felt more like one of the women in the famous painting by Jean-Francois Millet called Les Glaneuses (The Gleaners).  I am a peasant scrounging for leftovers in a field once full of golden wheat.  When I am more focused on what I lack inside and out than on God’s abundant blessings, I feel as if I have been sent out into a field once rich in grain that has already been harvested. I come with a downtrodden spirit to glean what I can from what’s been all but picked clean, thinking this is all I am going to receive, what’s left over from God’s best crops. I feel an even deeper void at the thought of having so little to bring home for my family and friends.

     During those times, God is probably up there shaking His head with a warm smile, wondering when I’ll look up at the endless rows of golden wheat all around the extremely small area I’m focusing all my attention on, which has, indeed, been picked clean… To read the rest of this reflection, click here.

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Keeping It Real Thursday evening Kevin and I got to catch up with a Cursillo friend who we haven’t seen in far too long though he lives and works nearby.  He was a Babe Chick when Kevin served on team for the Cursillo Men’s Weekend back in March 2009, who has distinguished himself in many ways, one of them by being known as Handsome Joe in certain circles.  He invited us over, cooked out on the grill, and shared some stories with us about what he’s been up to lately.  There are some people in this world who are such characters, you can’t help but be amused by their take on things. 

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Don’t Take It Personally Joe’s invite got me thinking about how it really is such a gift to be invited over to someone’s home to share a meal.  I really want to get our place to the point where we regularly have more than just one person over at a time for dinner and to hang out.  Actually, our place is coming along, but our lives in general still feel so hectic that the idea of having a few friends over for dinner, rather than just say, my mom or a close friend who’s basically family anyway feels like more than we have energy for right now.  In other words, don't take it personally if you haven't been invited to our place for dinner.  Pretty much only like three or four people (that includes my mom, by the way) have in the nine years we've lived here.    

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The Job Search Continues Kevin’s still looking for a new job.  It’s reminded us both of how discouraging it can be to be caught up in a routine and way of thinking that is so set on society’s priorities instead of God’s.  We’re hoping and praying that something that’s a good fit for him will present itself soon.  In the meantime, we’re trying to be patient and grateful for the other things we’ve been able to take care of during this time that may have been neglected if Kevin was working full-time and stressed out.

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Just a Nanny It was October a while back when Kevin was burned out from work that a few family members were hassling me for being a nanny when I have a Masters’ degree and several marketable business skills that I could use for a much more prestigious, lucrative job.  During the time that Kevin has been out of work, and we’re figuring out what’s next, I’ve been reminded what a blessing it is that Kevin understands how important the main caregivers for young children are in helping kids build a foundation of trust, develop and learn, feel safe and loved.  He has never once belittled me for wanting to provide the most loving, nurturing environment possible for children to grow up in.  I know and have always known that I couldn’t do what I do taking care of children if it weren’t for having such a loving husband who “gets it.”  
    

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What Cushion? I will say it certainly requires a great deal more faith when your medical bills are really high, and you’re not sure what’s next in terms of your career.  I’ve had so many reminders that we never know how long we have left.  A couple weeks ago, I was sitting outside praying in front of my dad’s niche in the Columbarium at St. Michael’s after hearing at Mass that a family had lost their father at age 53.  Dad lived only 16 days past his 54 birthday.  Kevin turned 50 this past summer. 

     There’s nothing safe, secure, or sure in this life except the Lord.  Thank goodness for the gift of faith and the love of God that persists no matter what.  If we draw closer to Him, we can rest and trust that the Lord is all that we really have and gives us all that we need.                

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

Saint Teresa, Pray for Us!

     I’ve had my four favorite T sisters in Heaven (St. Teresa of Avila, St. Thérѐse of Lisieux, St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, and Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta) as well as my dear sister in Christ, Michele Morris, who entered a cloistered Carmelite monastery in California this past August have been on my mind today. (If you want to know more about the four Teresas, I highly recommend reading two books I read and enjoyed tremendously: My Sisters the Saints and/or  The Four Teresas.)

     Today, October 15, is the Feast day of St. Teresa of Avila.  Several months ago, my friend Michele was excited about this particular date, because the Reverend Mother of the Carmelite Sisters by the Sea, Mother Teresita, asked her to help plan a celebration for the feast day of this Doctor of the Church who reformed the Carmelite order.  Michele, who has often been the life of any get-together, was quite amused that her first long-term assignment as a postulant would be to help plan a party.       

      Because it’s the Feast Day of one of my favorite saints and a really special day for Carmelites around the world, I had Michele on my mind and prayers even more than usual, and I wanted to make a special effort to go to Mass.  I was thinking I’d go to noon Mass somewhere, but God led Kevin and me to a “Divine Appointment” that took us the entire morning (which I will write about in another post), so we weren’t able to get there. 

     This afternoon, I was smitten to discover I had time to get to Mass at the church where I’d first met Michele and where we’d most often gone to pray together.  I saw many of the regulars Kevin and I have prayed with at daily Mass when we’ve gone St. Benedict’s at 5:30pm Tuesday-Fridays over the past three years.  It felt good to be surrounded by a number of familiar prayer warriors and the faith community who welcomed Michele as one of their own.  St. Benedict’s was also the last place in Richmond where Michele performed Teresita, an original play she wrote based on the life of St. Teresa of Avila, a little over one year after the debut of her show at St. Benedict's School on July 17 (the Feast Day of Our Lady of Mount Carmel). 

     I’ve been missing Michele, lately.  Things are the same without her smiling face, amusing anecdotes, cheerful presence, spontaneous visits, and frequent texts, so it was nice to have a day that made me feel more connected to her in a number of ways.  I know that she’s out West throwing a great party for the Sisters by the Sea.    

     Lord, thank You for the gift of faith-filled, prayerful women who are focused on doing Your will in all areas of their lives.  Amen.  

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 123)

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Grace is…faith enough to turn to God in the midst of unsettling doubts; the power of prayer—however simple however desperate; a husband who is supportive and loving; a Heavenly Father who knows our deepest, darkest secrets, our worst sins, and not only loves us, but pursues us even when we struggle to accept His unconditional love; unsolicited kisses from little ones, snuggle time with my adorable nephew, an opportunity to do something helpful for my sister, a phone call from a friend thanking me for a letter I sent to her in 2008 that she keeps out and rereads often that I know could only have struck a chord if the essence of it came from the Lord…

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Alleluia! Sunshine made me smile and got me singing today. I read the daily Mass readings out loud from my Magnificat magazine, and after the Gospel I said: "Praise to You, Lord Jesus Christ." To which she immediately responded by singing "Alleluia!" This is just one more reason why it is awesome to have young children at Mass (something her parents do with them every Sunday)!  Kevin and I are two of the twins’ Godparents, so we often go to the same Mass and save a row for the crew.  

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Jonah & Veggie Tales Kevin and I watched Jonah the Veggie Tales full-length movie this week, because it's hilarious and the Mass readings have been about Jonah, so it all ties in. I'm grateful for a husband who understands that I'm often ready to collapse by the time I get home after feeding, chasing, changing, cleaning up, reading to, singing and dancing with, entertaining, disciplining, hugging, kissing, drying tears, laughing lots…with three silly sisters.

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The Muffin Girl After singing "Do You Know the Muffin Man?" a bazillion times and coming up with a fun "Do You Know the Muffin Girl?" rendition that was site specific, I made chocolate chip muffins Wednesday evening with the intent to share some with the girls the next day and sing the song a bunch more times (of course). Sunshine used white Play-doh and made a big muffin to share with all of us. I was eating baby carrots at the time, and she asked for one.  She ended up using it as a candle on the muffin.  When it was time to put Play-doh away, I went digging through the container to see if she’d stuck the carrot in there as well.  I couldn’t find it, so I asked her what happened to it.  She’d eaten it. 

     The “intent to share some” had a whole lot more to do with me remembering to bring the muffins with me in the morning than they had anything to do with me polishing off a dozen.  Sunshine loved the muffins, and asked for more every time she was hungry. 

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Dr. Seuss’s Mr. Brown Can Moo! This was one of Sunshine’s favorite board books, and now it has become one of her sisters.  All three girls know that I love books, and that pretty much any time they come up to me with a book that I’ll read it to them, not once but as many times as they want and/or I can stand in one sitting.  I had to laugh when Sunshine got sick of hearing me read her sisters the book over and over again that she said that was enough.  

     I told her that I read the same book to her over and over again when she was that age (just as I’ve done with many other children, starting with my youngest sister).  It does help that I love books and adore reading, and also that I’ve read and learned quite a bit about child development over the years, so I know more of the things that they’re learning and what’s going on in terms of connections in their brains that are much more significant than just learning what animals make what sounds—which, don’t get me wrong is both a fun and entertaining part of childhood.

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Nephew in the Nursery Today I had the pleasure of taking care of my nephew for a bit.  He has a Montessori-style room—mattress on the floor and padding around, but even after seeing recent pictures of him getting around in his bedroom, I was still surprised and amazed when I went up to check on him during his nap.  The baby monitor was turned up, but they have a couple sound machines in the nursery, and I only heard a little noise, so I went to check on him, thinking he was still asleep because I hadn’t heard a peep out of him.      
     Okay, it’s not surprising to me that a child who can roam safely around their room does so even while sleeping; what gets me is that the boy is only 7 months old, is so big, chubby, and long that he’s already rocking 24 mos. clothes, and though he was wearing a baby sleep sack at the time, he made it halfway across the room, was pushing up on his hands, and looking up at me with his bright-eyes when I peeked in.  Somehow seeing the photos just didn’t prepare me for this experience in real life.       
    

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Cute Much? Kevin’s been coming to visit me and the girls in between searching for a new job and a bunch of doctor appointments.  Sunshine cheers when I tell her he’s coming.  One of the twins shrieks as soon as he walks in the door she’s so excited, and the other one has been crawling up on his lap whenever she gets the chance.

     Kevin gave each of the girls a kiss before I took them up for their naptime.  I usually tuck Sunshine in and pray the bedtime prayer my mom and sister made up with her, then give her a kiss whenever I put her to bed.  I tucked her in, prayed the prayer (which she often says with me because she knows it by heart), I went to give her a kiss, but she shakes her head.  

     “Kevin already gave me a kiss,” she said.

     “So does that mean you don’t want/need one from me?” I asked.

     She nodded.

     I smiled and blew her a kiss as I went out the door, the little skunk. 

        

                  

Check out Jen Fulwiler’s tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday at her tremendously popular blog Conversion Diary.

Children Are Always Recording Audio and Video (My Nanny Diary)

Any time children are partially awake and conscious, you can be fairly certain they are recording everything you say and do, even if they seem to be totally occupied with whatever fun, possibly noisy toy currently in hand. 

If you have an infant or are around toddlers or any young children, it’s a good time to reprogram your vocab to G-rated and fine-tune your shut-up filter, because everything you say (and do) can and likely will be repeated generally at the most inopportune time.  Any words shouted or said with any sort of extra emotion will be the most likely candidates for new vocabulary acquisition. 

That’s why so many kids learn “NO!” very early on, because they hear it all the time.  “Up” and “down” are two other ones children tend to learn very early.  Seinfeld does a great bit where he talks about this phenomenon.    

Many Occasions for Humility

There’s no way around it, really; whatever you say can and will be used against you.  It provides many occasions for humility (in case being peed, pooped, spit-up, thrown-up, and sneezed on hasn’t produced a sufficient amount of that in your life, yet.)

   
 Having spent a lot of time working with and caring for children of a variety of ages, I’ve gotten pretty darn good about keeping exclamations—even in the midst of an emergency or crisis—G-rated around little people.  I figure I’ve already had enough explaining to do when I have a little one shouting things like: “Where my ho’?” on the playground.  I did actually have this happen to me and quickly rephrased the question for the little tike so as not to be shunned from the church playground forever: “You mean: Where’s my gardening tool?” 

He had been helping his parents working in the garden recently, and there was a plastic hoe and other gardening tools in the sandbox in that playground area, but that’s certainly not what it must have sounded like to the other mommies and nannies at the playground that day. 

   
I’m all for encouraging kids to learn the proper names for things, but only when it doesn’t get us kicked out of the sandbox.  I’m sure it didn’t help a whole lot that when a car would drive by with really loud rap music playing that the same little one would stop whatever he was doing on the playground and start his bounce dancing.       

      
Sometimes it’s hard not to laugh when kids come out with something you know they must have heard at home that couldn’t possibly have been intended to be repeated anywhere. ever.  I’ll admit I laughed hysterically when I was reading a book by Anne Lamott in which she talks about how she came to the realization that she and her son had gotten in the habit of using some words that were inappropriate.  I can’t in good conscience quote exactly what either of them said (as it’s not G-rated), but if you’d like to read it directly (and I think you’ll want to), you can find that particular excerpt of Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life.

     Minor Misunderstandings

They will happen all of the time anyway, because kids fill in the words that they think you said or make up their own when recounting a story.  Case in point, just this morning we had the following exchange:  

   
“Dad is a she,” Sunshine said.

    
“Your dad is a he.  Your mom is a she,” I replied.

   
“My mom is not a sheep!” she said emphatically with more than a little attitude working.

   
I explained that I did not call her mom a sheep, but I’m not sure if that really sank in, so I informed her mother of the conversation because I knew she’d be amused and also in case later during dinner or bedtime she recounted to her mom what she thought I’d said.       

    
We had quite a few mishaps when my youngest sister, who is 11 years younger than I am, would repeat and/or mess up something one of us had said and announce it to family, friends, guests, etc. at the most awkward times.  Some of the mix-ups were just plain hilarious. 

Once my cousin had been telling us a story about how she'd been visiting UC Berkeley and had seen two women walking around holding hands wearing nothing but tie-dyed socks.  She added that she didn't think the two of them had ever seen a razor.  Most of this went right over my youngest sister's head.  Later when my sister was retelling the story to someone, I heard her say that “the two women looked liked they'd never seen a raisin.”  Then she added, "I don't know how she could tell that, though."

    

Running commentary

As those who know me are already aware, I absolutely love spending time with little ones.  It isn’t long before I go into “running commentary” mode where, for purposes of learning and language acquisition, I describe everything around us and all the things we’re doing as we go.

    
I did this so often on walks with “my little guys” that they got to the point when they’d know what was coming next and get excited and tell me before I had a chance to say a word: fire station, library, church with bells that ring and that at noon and 6pm play two songs…  

   
I’m glad to know I haven’t lost this valuable time-with-toddlers instinct from my earlier days as a nanny.  Apparently my “running commentary” switch still works.  That being said I don’t need it or use it quite as much when there’s also a preschooler in the house, because her commentary is pretty much always running.  And by that I mean, pretty much whenever she’s awake her mouth is running, which can be as amusing and entertaining as it can be exhausting and annoying when it goes on for hours.  

In short, it’s easier to tone it down a tad when little ones are in earshot, so you are less likely to find yourself explaining to a concerned adult how it is that your child knows certain words, phrases, or exclamations.