My Childcare Diary Quick Takes #1

This is a photo I took a while 

ago of a garden statue at a friend’s house.  

If looking at this photo makes you concerned someone's about to have an accident and your gut instinct is to tell the cute little cherub to go use the potty, chances are you have and/or work with young children.

To read about some of the adventures I've had in attempting to potty train young people, check out Once Upon a Potty Training.   

What Do Karate Kid’s Mr. Miyagi and Dr. Maria Montessori Methods Have in Common?

A little more than you may realize.

At first, Karate Kid's Mr. Miyagi (played by Pat Morita) seems to be taking advantage of Daniel-san in order to get some household chores done.  He has him wax his rather extensive collection of old cars, paint the fence around his property, learn to prune bonsai trees.  And Mr. Miyagi is very particular about how these tasks are to be carried out.  “Wax on, wax off.”  Make circular motions, first one hand then the other and keep alternating hands.  Paint the fence.  Wrist all the way up, arm extended.  Wrist all the way down, arm extended to the ground.

Daniel-san is more than a little miffed when he thinks he’s been duped into serving as some old guy’s lackey.  He’s gotten the snot beaten out of him more than once by some punks, and he’d like to return the favor.  Daniel-san asks Mr. Miyagi to teach him karate.  He fails to see how waxing cars and painting fences will help him reach his goal. 

Mr. Miyagi knows all along that these practical life skills are preparing this young man in mind, body, and spirit for life as well as the martial arts lessons to come.  Daniel-san doesn’t realize that there’s a method to Mr. Miyagi’s chore list until he’s shown through a mock attack that his muscle strength, mental acuity, coordination, and reflexes have improved considerably.  Suddenly things start to come together.  He sees all of his hard work hasn’t been for naught.  His sensei has been training him all along.  Once he developed the basic skills needed, he was ready for greater challenges and difficulties. 

Dr. Maria Montessori’s method is very similar: teach kids how to do the things that they will need to do in life at a young age by giving them hands-on experience, providing them with simple step-by-step lessons, and age-appropriate materials.  Give children tasks and activities that accomplish something and have a much broader purpose than is initially seen, certainly by them. 

At first glance, it might seem like a way to get kids to do the teacher's work.  Have them fold laundry, sweep up the messes they make, wipe off the tables, cut up and serve food, wash dishes, choose their own work, put things back where they found them, cut flowers, tie their shoes, wash their hands with soap and water, wait their turn, walk the line, respect nature, proceed at their own pace, indicate when they are ready for the next lesson, make a thank-you card, write an apology note, sew, use their manners, learn from their peers and those who are a little older or younger than they are…

Gross and fine motor skills develop as muscle strength, coordination, and concentration improve.  Children absorb valuable and practical ways they can be involved in, explore, and create in the world all the while building up their socialization, teamwork, independence, cognitive prowess, and leadership abilities. 

I’m fairly certain Dr. Maria Montessori would have approved of Mr. Miyagi’s seemingly roundabout approach to educating his student.  Daniel-san just wanted to learn karate, but Mr. Miyagi taught him a great deal more than that.  Really good educators teach a great deal beyond what’s required by SOLs and the written curriculum.  They allow their students to experience what they are to learn rather than just read it in a book or see someone else do it.  Wouldn’t you agree?

Can You Tell My Husband's Just a Little Excited to Be in a Program for Drafting and Design?

My husband was so cute the night he came home from his first drafting class at ITT Tech.  Kevin was pulling out all of his school supplies to show me all of the  stencils, rulers and such that were in the kit they provided.  He had a huge smile on his face, one I hadn't seen nearly as often in recent months as financial stress and an unending stream of medical bills have really been wearing on us both.

Who knew my not-much-for-reading honey who was notorious for skipping class in high school would be so excited about a new undertaking that would involve reading and homework?  God did.
Kevin got right to his homework that night after class.  As you can plainly see, it's never ever too late to follow your dreams and get the education you've always wanted!

To read more about the conversations that sparked this new venture and my initial less-than-enthusiastic reaction, check this post out His Initial Announcement & My Initial Reaction. 

Blessed with One More Work Week with the Three Silly Sisters: Flashbacks, Fast Forwards, Reflections, and an Abundance of Love, Hugs, and Kisses (My Nanny Diary)

Last week I took care of the three silly sisters while their current full-time caregiver was on vacation. It's hard to believe that I first babysat for the oldest when she was about 8 months, and now she's started Kindergarten.

The oldest of the three silly sisters
as a wee little on under age one.

My Little Pony Flashback

The oldest this week at age 5.
Notice the T-shirt she's wearing.

The three silly sisters have given themselves nicknames that are My Little Pony characters.  I used to have My Little Ponies when I was young.  I had fun playing with them, braiding their brightly colored hair, etc.  As far as I recall, I don’t think I was imaginative enough to give myself a nickname based on one of them. 

I find it extremely entertaining that they often introduce themselves and refer to each other as Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Twilight Sparkle. The other day when Twilight Sparkle was pretending that she had to get her backpack and go to school, she was saying goodbye to each of us, and apparently she has chosen the name Applejack for me. Why she associates me with a cute blond Southern belle-type pony, I haven't figured out.

I used to have quite a Southern accent when we lived in Texas. My parents tell me I could make van a five syllable word before age 5.  I do like to eat apples. But quite honestly, I'd like My Little Pony code name to be Shutterfly, because I love taking photos, and I'd want to pick what she and her cutie mark looks like.  Is that too much to ask?

Once (Again) Upon a Potty Training

I had to laugh at the confusion this week regarding some key lingo.  What I refer to as Pull-ups (because that’s what they are), Fluttershy calls “big girl panties.” What I would call big girl panties, she calls underwear.  It took me a second or two to realize why we were having a breakdown in communication and she was having a meltdown.  From that epiphany on, I was careful what I said each time I reminded her what all needs to be pulled up before she leaves the bathroom.   

Naturally, these interactions brought me right back to when I was helping to potty train Rainbow Dash when she was this age.  My amusing experiences from that time, are memorialized in my original Once Upon a Potty Training post. 

It never ceases to amaze me how many times I repeat the exact same phrases throughout the day.  And they say toddlers tend to sound like broken records!  I can’t imagine where they get that tendency.

Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus

This Mo Willems classic is one of the books I read over and over and over this past week.  For good reason, Rainbow Dash was a big fan of how enthusiastically I would read this and other picture books to her.  After reading about how important it is to “read it again!” for literacy, learning to associate words and pictures, sequencing, and reading comprehension, I rarely quit even if it means that I spend half an hour or more telling the pigeon that there’s no way he’s going to get a chance to drive the freaking bus. This time, the twins were the one requesting to hear about the plight of the poor, persistent pigeon.

I can still recall one particular little one whose parents were professors at Hollins who could and would sit for hours listening to one book after another, or the same book again and again.  One day, I started counting how many times we read one book.  I like Strawberry Shortcake and all, but I ran out of questions to ask her or things to point out or expound upon after we reached the 20^th read-thru.  Then again, I also have a myriad of literary memories related to the boys and books.

Bring on the Rain (to erase my horrendous attempts at drawing Disney Characters with sidewalk chalk)

God is merciful. How do I know? It has been and is supposed to continue raining most if this weekend, so my failed attempts to draw a chalk figure even loosely resembling Donald Duck will likely be washed off of the parking lot. Twilight Sparkle requested I draw various Disney characters, but after a fairly recognizable Mickey and Minnie, things went downhill quickly. In my defense, I have a lot more experience with photography than I do with sidewalk chalk drawings of animated characters.

Their Abundant Xs and Os Warmed Me.  Yes, I Feel the Love!

I'm beyond sore from top to bottom from carrying little ones, playing on the floor, chasing, sorting, sitting in the sandbox, drawing on the driveway with chalk, cleaning, singing, dancing, reading, organizing. I gave and received more kisses and hugs this past week from the three silly sisters than I have in quite some time. I got to have dinner with their family and catch up with good friends (the three silly sisters' parents) Thursday night.  They graciously let me do some laundry there on Friday since I'm a little reticent to use the machines in the basement of our building after one recently caught fire and they didn't evacuate everyone. I got to stroll down memory lane when toys and books came out that I have fond memories of sharing with Rainbow Dash when she was a baby and toddler. I experienced the joy of being loved, welcomed, and appreciated by three little ones (and their parents) all of whom have long held a special place in my heart.

Celebrating My First Full-Time Nanny/Part-time Mother Job Which Began Eleven Years Ago Today (My Nanny Diary)

A mere nine days after Kevin and I got married in 2004, I began my first long-term nanny job taking care of “my two little guys.”  Actually, I was just taking care of one adorable baby boy for the first few months since the other infant’s mom was still on maternity leave. Before long, I had two babes three months apart in age to care for 54 plus hours a week.  I was 24, the same age my mom had been when she had me.

Why are you nannying when you have a Masters?!” is something I have heard numerous times, especially from my family members.  The short answer is: I love kids and we don’t have any of our own.  

Being with children gives me great joy!  Taking part in their care, education, being one of the people in their village helping to raise them to feel safe, confident, and loved in this world is such a tremendous responsibility. 

Raising and educating children is truly one of the most challenging and rewarding jobs I've ever had!  Sure, I applied to a number of different non-profits after graduating from Hollins University with my Masters degree, but I knew that I would really miss working with children if I took a job in a traditional office setting.  I’m perfectly capable of working in an office, answering phones, setting up for meetings, giving presentations, writing and editing newsletters, creating spreadsheets, coordinating gatherings, following up with clients, and I have done all of those things in the various jobs and volunteer opportunities I’ve had over the past 20 years.  Life without children being an integral part of it just isn't the same, though. 

  

What would you like to be when you grow up?  The short answer to that is: a faithful servant of God who puts His Will first, a good wife, and a good mom. However, since I may never get the chance to do the third of those, with God's blessing and Kevin's support, I’ve dedicated a lot of my time, energy, creativity, love, dedication, determination, willingness to be adaptable, learn new tricks of the trade, and grow as an individual by being a childcare provider.  I figured being a nanny is the closest I could get to being a mom when we don't have children (at least not ones for whom are biologically or legally responsible).

 

Close to two years after I started, each of the families made the decision that the mom would start working from home, so they would have more time with their sons.  The day one boy’s parents told me about their decision, they were both tearing up. I was deeply moved they were really going to miss having me take care of their son.  

Fortunately, God gave me the grace and peace of mind to encourage them that they were doing the right thing.  I knew that they had been really beaten down by demanding jobs and that their family life and health had suffered.  I affirmed their decision.  I didn’t burst into tears and start mourning until later on, long after I’d gone home and was sharing the news with Kevin.

To be kind and considerate, they gave me close to three months’ notice so that I would have ample time to look for my next job.  I tried my best not to let the boys see me sad, but sometimes one of them would be sitting on my lap listening to a book or showing me something, and tears would start falling down my cheeks.    

From early on, I had two car seats installed in my car and kept the double stroller we used in my trunk, so that I could take the boys on field trips and such.  We went to different parks, The Children's Museum, the mall, and various playgrounds.  We'd meet up with their parents for lunch or go visit with some of my family.  We had all sorts of adventures inside and outside! 

"Ride in Trisha's car?" the older of the two boys asked me one day.  Since I wouldn't be taking care of them much longer, I'd returned the car seats to their parents.  I explained to the little guy that I didn't have a special seat in my car for him anymore, so I couldn't take him anywhere. He looked sad and clearly disappointed.

Then, it occurred to me what he was really asking: do I still have a place in your life, in your heart?  Will you remember me? Will you miss me and still love me?  My emphatic answer to all of those questions was and still is a resounding YES!

Even nine years after nannying for "my two little guys," I still think of them often and pray for them regularly.  I'm grateful for Facebook, so I can see photos and such that their parents' post about what they're up to these days.  One just started middle school, and the other began fifth grade.  

I knew it would be a huge adjustment once our “daytime family” broke up.  I couldn’t even make it through the weekend without missing the boys and wondering what they were up to.  I went through a period of significant mourning and the grief usually associated with loss.  

In fact, my separation anxiety and missing the boys were so painful that I decided I would never nanny for anyone, again.  I was too devastated when I stopped taking care of “my two little guys” in August 2006 to risk that level of love, attachment, and ultimately loss, again.

Fortunately, over time, God turned my NEVER into something infinitely BETTER! 

Nothing Is Impossible with God, Our Wedding September 4, 2004, and a Handful of the Many Miracles We Have Experienced Before and Since

The odds were against us ever being anything more than friends.  We lived 500 miles apart, were/are 17 years apart in age, and dating wasn't even an option until I turned 18 (a year and three months after we first met). I am currently the age Kevin was the summer we first met.  My mom and Kevin's closest friends were concerned and didn't think it would ever likely work out between us for a myriad of reasons.

Even then I was a very devout Catholic who wanted more than anything to do God's will, though I was still discerning what that would entail, while Kevin wanted nothing at all to do with organized religion, though he did believe in God and Christ.  No one thought we would make it. The one person who seemed to know all along that we were supposed to be together and would weather all the storms was Kevin's dad, the real Harry Potter.

LAUGHING TOGETHER is the menu Kevin and I have for our relationship. Each of the letters represents a word that is a valuable aspect of who we are as a couple.  In our second year together as a couple, back in 1999, we listed several essential ingredients and values on a piece of paper, then we chose the ones that we liked best.  Kevin was the one who realized that our sixteen choices could make the words LAUGHING TOGETHER.

Loving
Affectionate
Understanding
Growing
Honest
Intimate
Nurturing
Grateful

Thoughtful
Open
Giving
Enthusiastic
Tender
Helpful
Exciting
Respectful
We were thrilled! That summed us up perfectly. It’s the way we often spent our time. Kevin and I each printed versions of this up so we could sign them. The cross-stitch now hangs in our apartment, and we still have some of the magnets we made up as wedding favors. 

Rochester is where we first met and fell in love.

For three years before Kevin and I tied the knot, I worked on a cross-stitch scene similar to the one where we spent a great deal of time talking. It is the lighthouse, pier, and portion of Lake Ontario around Charlotte Beach in Rochester, NY. I added some boats and, in the sky portion of the landscape, cross-stitched the menu for our relationship. Kevin didn’t find out about the cross-stitch until we walked into our wedding reception and it was framed and displayed on an easel. He was amazed that I’d come up with the design and been working on it for so long without him knowing.

We have our names and the words Romans 8 inscribed on the inside of our wedding rings, because those verses, the Rosary, and The Prayer of Mary for the Conversion of  Loved One were what we turned to countless time to get through many differences, conflicts, concerns, and some serious trials. We have not had an easy marriage by any means.

In fact, I have to laugh when people describe their marriage or relationship as some sort of fairytale.  We haven't had that notion.  It's been through the grace of God we have made it thus far, and His grace will lead us home.

The prayer I was inspired to come up with and first wrote in my journal several years ago: "Lord, plant Your will in our hearts and make it our deepest desire and most fervent longing. Lord, we pray for Your will.  Amen.

8 Back-to-School Basics for Parents, Students, Teachers, and Families Plus One Prayer to Get Started on the Right Foot

Prints of Grace © Trisha Niermeyer Potter

1. Be gentle with yourself and others.  A new school year means you will be meeting lots of new people, getting to know others better, finding out about new rules, new ways of fitting in and being involved.  Change can be exciting and fun, but it can also be stressful and tiring.  Try to be gentle with yourself and others during this time of transition.  Most people are feeling a bit frazzled and trying to get into a new groove.  Do your best to be patient as everyone figures things out. 

2. Get organized.  Make a space for school papers, homework, assignments to be graded, etc. that has easily accessible office supplies, reference books, so once the year gets in swing, there’s somewhere to place every blessed thing that’s sent home or to go out.  Have something to put recycling in, even just a paper grocery bag, and put  fliers and things that you don’t want or need in there right away.

3. Keep a calendar.  It can be difficult trying to keep up with people’s school, work, sports, ministry, and such schedules, so if you have a big calendar where everyone can write on it what they’ve got going on and what’s coming up, then it will be easier for you to know what the week looks like for you and your family. 

4. Establish routines to cut down on chaos and stress.  The greater number of things you and those for whom you are responsible have to remember and do, the more vital it is to have a set order in which to do things. 

5. Say No when you need to.  A slew of sign-up sheets will be going around.  It’s great to be involved at work, school, church, etc., but it’s also important to have some down time as a family and to yourself.  Pick and choose wisely, so each week doesn’t begin with a heavy sigh and a sincere “what the heck was I thinking?!”

6. Look forward to learning. Many of the most surprising and best life lessons come to us when we aren’t expecting them.  We can be open to learning from people in all areas of our lives.  Find mentors who are strong in areas in which you'd like to grow. 

7. Welcome the new kids on the block.  Whether there are new families, new teachers, or new students, it is always a wonderful gesture to welcome them.  Our family moved so many times when I was growing up that I felt like the perpetual new kid on the block.  Reach out to teachers alone in the break room or kids alone at lunch or on the playground.  It could make your day, their month, and lead to a lasting friendship.

8. Have Fun. This is a new beginning.  Consider adding some music, dancing, laughter to the mix, so the long list of assignments and activities doesn’t become a boring burden keeping you busy until you can finally go back to bed.  Playing, unwinding, and relaxing ought to be on the menu, too.

My Prayer for this New Beginning: Lord, thank You for the gift of another school year to learn, teach, grow, expand our minds and our hearts to include more of Your love, compassion, joy, peace, hope, and Truth.  Guide us to be gentle with ourselves and others during this time of transition.  Plant Your will in our hearts and make it our deepest desire and most fervent longing. Amen.